A Dental Poem

Natural teeth are best for men;
See the dentist now and then;
Don’t eat more of sugar stuff;
Don’t chew tobacco or puff!

Brush your teeth, both morn and night;
Wear your dentures, smooth and light;
Floss your teeth to rid off food;
Keep your oral hygiene good.

Extract teeth that hurt the cheek;
Let gums not bleed nor turn weak;
Rinse your mouth after a café;
Keep your God-given teeth safe.

Do not drink hot tea / coffee;
Do not eat sweets like toffee;
Let your breath be fresh and free;
Keep your teeth strong and healthy!

Copyright by Dr John Celes 9-9-‘10

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With Teeth

But she will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
She will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
Keeps holding on
She will not let you go
Keeps holding on and on
She will not let you go
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
I cannot go through this again /x8
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
Youve finally found the place where you belong
It comes on strong
She makes you hard
The rules have changed, the line begins to blur
To what you were
Wave goodbye
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
And it runs deeper than you dare to dream it could be
The black seal
She makes you better than anything youve tried
Its in her kiss
She comes along
She gets inside

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The Dentist’s

Your mouth hurts inside for the pain comes from the teeth,
Pain is destructive to the teeth, its gums are bleeding;
Must we learn further help and admiration, or just weep?
First, the aching stops and then the dentist stops,
We all feel murdered, but why?

Firstly, mouths are meant for munching, fully chomping
The food residing in the head, feeding the brain as fast as it can;
We are not dentists, but full doctors, but full nurses,
As hospitals go, we stand firm on our teeth chattering away in the cold.
We felt absurd knowing your teeth.

The main worry was when it made me squirm, and then burn,
Too late, the drill was performed, with too much work,
And that was purity and goodness in the process,
For me, for me, and for those who call themselves the dentist.
We do find teeth a chore, always to be restored.

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I Really Mish My Teesh

I always looked after them whilst growing up,
Until I was about twelve years old,
Now at night they are stored in a cup,
The very thought of that leaves me so cold.

I started adulthood with 32 teeth,
All perfect in every way,
White on top, the same underneath,
Not one of them showed signs of decay.

I brushed them on occasion if I felt the need,
But mostly I left them alone,
Mainly after a bevy or perhaps a feed,
Main thing is they were all my own.

Dental hygiene was there but it wasn't great,
But so what, they weren't that bad,
Despite all the warnings I have to now state,
My attitude was totally mad.

I kept being told I had really bad breath,
But I never took heed of the link,
When they said in truth it smells of death,
I blamed it on the fags and the drink.

I ignored the warnings they were under attack,
A decision I would live to regret,
Before I knew it they were covered in plaque,
With oral problems I was now beset.

I kept getting toothache time and again,
It's an affliction that is truly ill gotten,
How did I manage to stand that pain,
Knowing it was my teeth, which were rotten.

The sweet things the booze and the cigarettes,
Had left my teeth in tatters,
It's entirely my fault as nobody forgets,
Looking after them should be all that matters.

I could no longer smile, as I felt so ashamed,
My teeth were worn out and black,
My gums were sore and terribly inflamed,
Too far gone to find a way back.

I couldn't enjoy my food any more,
Cold drinks were a thing of the past,
Eating anything had became such a chore,
I now wish I had made my teeth last.

Ailments are many when you choose not to brush,
Yet they can all be avoided with ease,
By cleaning every day you will keep them plush
You'll avoid the risk of disease.

Visit the dentist; it's never too late,
They will help you to keep your teeth pure,
Don't listen to those who say, its just fate,
When they're gone there's no miracle cure.

Your adult teeth are the last ones you'll get,
Make sure they stay healthy and clean,
If you treat them well you can safely bet,
You will keep them totally pristine.

It's easy to avoid future dental strife,
All you need do is take care,
You must accept that your teeth are for life,
Look after them and they'll always be there.

I watch them lying in a glass every night,
While I lie hear and suck on my quiche,
Being unable to chew will never feel right,

‘' I Really Mish My Teesh ‘'

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Teeth

English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.

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Candy candy not so good

Candy candy not so good,
Ouch my teeth hurt,
Candy candy not so good.

Candy candy stuck in my teeth!
Mm..
That lovely taste..
It's just so sweet! !

My mum always tells me 'candy candy not so good, it will hurt your teeth UNDERSTOOD! '
I want candy,
I want to eat,  
I don't care what anyone says,
 know that candy is the best.

Ouch! Ouch!  
Mummy was right!
Because of candy  I can't even bite.

Candy candy not so good,
Just remember to brush your teeth because..
Candy candy is not so good..
For your teeth. 

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The Problem With Teeth

The problem with teeth that are false

Is they don't always ride out their course

They shift when you're eating

Or fly loose at a greeting

Some marriages end with divorce!

The problem with teeth that are false

Is that they won't always lie

In a mouth half their size

And can drive a sane man up the wall

The problem with teeth that are false

Is they don't always ride out life's course

In on a hospital stay they get 'put away'

Until you can't find them at all!

And when they do finally arrive

It's on a woman whose barely alive

Though's she's making a terrible din

But when she smiles she possesses your grin

And it's hard to reclaim them

Because she's renamed them

But the teeth that you've got won't fit in! ! .

The problem with teeth that are false

Is that they rarey survive in life's course

So it's better to brush and religiously floss

So you don't have to lose them at all!


yvette smith

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Ito Eats

(words & music by sid tepper - roy bennett)
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eating all the while
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Ito is an eating boy
He never get enough from fish and poi
He eat everything he dont care what
He even eat the shell from the coconut
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Hey, ito little faster
Ito little slower
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
When you say that stranger smile
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

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On Some White Corpuscles

your teeth are yellow and you say these are healthy teeth
you must envy
these yellow teeth
your eyes are happy, they are smiling till the last day,
and you are proud saying
look, these are happy eyes why not take a picture
of them and copy them
to be your eyes,
your skins are tight and you are too very proud of them
these skins hold my bones and there are no rattlings
in the house of your body

then i ask what is your problem then, why you too
take the walks in the morning?
you said your hemoglobin count is low and you sometimes
faint and your lover is worried always taking you limp
in his arms when you kiss in the dark,

i see, this kind of thing to a man of your lifetstyle,
i need not ask if you have been taking large doses
from his white corpuscles,
from the cartilage between his legs,

something too personal you say
there is no envy somehow
you close your mouth hiding your yellow teeth
with some sauce still
about to dry on the gums,

last night, you say, was the best night you ever had,
something new
fresh and you are frank enought to admit
something that you always eat
and swallow

will not last you a life time
love to you, is always, a temporary, fleeting thing,

a fact too tight like your skin
holding all your dangling bones

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Shoehorn With Teeth

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesnt get nervous
Shes not really there
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas
The plane can never land
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
Whats the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When youre much too busy returning to the womb?
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing

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All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)

(Donald Yetter Gardner)
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
It seems so long since I could say
"Sister, Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy Id be, if I could only whistle
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
It seems so long since I could say
"Sister, Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy Id be, if I could only whistle
(All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth)
(Two front teeth), (two front teeth)
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
--- Instrumental ---
It seems so long since I could say
"Sister, Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy Id be, if I could only whistle
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"...

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As you read these lines

As you read these lines
Another toothpick
Is chewed by my teeth

Something is wrong
With my tongue and
Teeth, how they compete
For recognition, the teeth
Claiming it chewed the
Words the tongue claiming
It approved the taste,

I am listening how they
Argued and quarreled,
And in the chaos I bit the
Toothpick chewed it
And spit it out,

How choppy have I
Become, how some
Of my parts have been
So disjoined, and how
Have I become
So disengaged, divided,
Like the tongue &
Teeth, in their bickering.

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I Met My Girl On The Other End Of My Penny Chew (Fun Poem 19)

Well, there I was in the candy store,
choosing my candy from the counter.
In she walked wings on her feet,
and her head, way up in the clouds.
I grabbed up a penny chew,
before I could even get the wrapper off,
she was on the other end of it.
I looked down my nose;
all I could see were teeth,
and two big eyeballs looking at me.

Well, there I was looking at what I had hooked,
the fish kept wriggling in front of me.
When along she came bold as brass,
and stood right there beside me.
I grabbed up a penny chew,
before I could even get the wrapper off,
she was on the other end of it.
I looked down my nose;
all I could see were teeth,
and two big eyeballs looking at me.

Well, I had had enough by now,
so I asked her to marry me.
Those big eyeballs rolled around,
and the teeth said, “Yes please.”
So here we are on our wedding night,
all tucked up in bed and I looked,
not a penny chew in sight.
I said, “No penny chews, my dear? ”
“I don’t believe it! Our wedding night and all he wants is a penny chew! ”

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Chewing Gum (Fun Poem 46)

I enjoy chewing gum
it takes my mind off cigarettes,
but because I have false teeth.
(I lost the real ones years ago)
Chewing gum become like chewing super glue.
When it sticks, boy does it stick.
You stand in the bathroom
completely and utterly gummy
scraping the gum of your dentures.
So now, my motto is
if you have dentures
suck on a hard-boiled sweet,
they don’t stick to your teeth.

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Bruxism

it is the inability to assert
yourself
during the day
that you start
grinding your teeth
at night
until all the teeth
fall
and they you wake
up
screaming.

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A Pair Of Smiling Teeth

A pair of smiling teeth, took me by suprise

One miserable november day

Caught by the light that shone from those pearly whites

I was at once diminished in sight

Sore, knocked to the floor

Once bitten twice shy

The smiling teeth bit into my thigh

And then jumped into my bag

They appeared in several anonymous photographs on their own

The smiling teeth arrive without a face

And kept bugging me

Though they remained silent (mostly)

They occasionally snapped back

Like a pair of castanets


The smiling teeth were not easy to forget

The smile was penetrating and fixed


A sinister smile

A horrible monstrous hungry happiness

That pressed down on me from afar

Even when the teetb were trapped in a jar

And thrown out to sea

I could feel that smile pressing down on me

My thin lined lips were beginning to curve at the edges

My teeth pushed through the chaos of my serious state

Until a fix grin emerged from my chin to cheek

So fixed was the grin I lost the power of speech

Nor could I eat no more

That smile those smiling teeth had possessed me

Like a fake hollywood smile on a cheap boardwalk of fame

I smiled an eternal full toothed smile

I never spoke again

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Bite Me

Every sentence I ended...
She said bite me.
Every comment I made...
Her response was a way,
Of letting me know what she wanted.

'Bite me.
Bite me.
Bite me...'

She went on!

So I obliged.

Fulfilling my good guy duties.

So why am I the one being arrested?
Which one of us here has the black eye?

The only reason she doesn't have any teeth...
She took them out before she swung!
Why would I want to steal her teeth?
When I am accustomed to her tongue.
And her teeth are always out anyway.
At least that's what her husband says.

They both have done me.
She here!
And he...
Across the street at my home.
But this is the first time I've ever been arrested...
For not giving up the bone!

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Reverse Psychology

Never could I get,
With you...
Too exhausted.

And I keep my breath,
Minted fresh.
As we caress.
And find ourselves,
Awakening from a night...
Of peaceful rest.

Although for me,
Those times may come...
Infrequently.

You see...
Nothing between us,
Will I ever let upset.
Or will I eat,
Without carefully brushing,
All my teeth.

That's how close,
I want us to be!
And I pray and hope,
Those days will come,
More frequently.

'And I do get...
Your reverse psychology.'

Honey...
What are you talking about?

'Honeeeee...
What are you talking about?
I can take a hint.
I will gargle AND brush my teeth!
How's that? '

Well...
Hurry up.
Before I fall to sleep!

'All you had to say,
Was that my breath smells bad! '

Does it?
I didn't notice.

'And remove all of those mints from the bed,
Before I get back.'

WHY are you so sensitive?
Geeeessshhh.

'Shut,
Up!
Do not say another thing.
Poetically or not.'

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My First Boyfriend

My first Boyfriend
was Stanley Gardner
whomI met in kindy
all thirty long years ago.
He wore silver braces
and thick jam jar glasses
whereas I had buck teeth
That jutted out a mile
and a mop of frizzy hair
but he declared his love for me
by sharing his vegemite sandwich
and orange juice popper
in the sandpit,
in the middle of the oval
And now 30 years on I meet him again
with his wife and child
He has the straightest of teeth
and sans hair and glasses
And me with straightened hair
And perfect teeth
courtesy of my cosmetic teeth makeover!
And my orthodontist

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Kicked In The Teeth

Two faced woman with the two faced lies
I hope your two faced living made you satisfied
Tell me baby I was your only one
While youve been running around town with every mothers son
Told your story about the women like you
Told your story about the things you do
I used to think that you were sugar and spice
I shouldve listened to my mothers advice
Chorus:
Kicked in the teeth again
Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win
Kicked in the teeth again
Aint this misery ever gonna end?
And Ive been kicked in the teeth
Kicked in the teeth again
Two faced woman, such a crying shame
Dont know nothing, youre all the same
You run around, hope you had your fun
You never know whos gonna win till the race been run
Chorus

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Just My Luck (Fun Poem 73)

I went to the dentist
for the first time in twenty years.
Sat in the waiting room
waiting to get my call.
Finally, it came
and I reluctantly went in,
hand shaking and nervous as can be
and was surprised to find
the dentist looked
like she had just walked out of the centrefold
of a Playboy magazine.
She was blonde
and dropp dead gorgeous.
Instead of a man looking like,
he had just walked out of a rugby scrum.
Trust little old me to gets this beauty.
I sat in the chair
took out my false teeth
knowing she wouldn’t want to see them
and opened my mouth wider
so she could have a peek inside.
“I’m going to have to take an X-ray at those.”
“No problem.” I replied.
After the X-rays were taken,
she asked me what pills I was on.
“The one you put in your shoe to make you go limp.”
I replied jokingly.
Sadly she didn’t get the joke I’m afraid.
However, because of the pills, I was on
and the way the tooth
was embedded in my gum.
I have to go to the hospital
to have the darn thing out.
Just my luck.
Here I get the prettiest dentist
to fool around with my teeth
and she then refers me to the hospital.
Doesn’t that just take the cake.
Just my luck.
There is a small consolation when I go.
They will knock me out
and I won’t see who is pulling out my teeth.

25 April 2008

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