The Problem With Teeth
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out their course
They shift when you're eating
Or fly loose at a greeting
Some marriages end with divorce!
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they won't always lie
In a mouth half their size
And can drive a sane man up the wall
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out life's course
In on a hospital stay they get 'put away'
Until you can't find them at all!
And when they do finally arrive
It's on a woman whose barely alive
Though's she's making a terrible din
But when she smiles she possesses your grin
And it's hard to reclaim them
Because she's renamed them
But the teeth that you've got won't fit in! ! .
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they rarey survive in life's course
So it's better to brush and religiously floss
So you don't have to lose them at all!
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Just My Luck (Fun Poem 73)
I went to the dentist
for the first time in twenty years.
Sat in the waiting room
waiting to get my call.
Finally, it came
and I reluctantly went in,
hand shaking and nervous as can be
and was surprised to find
the dentist looked
like she had just walked out of the centrefold
of a Playboy magazine.
She was blonde
and dropp dead gorgeous.
Instead of a man looking like,
he had just walked out of a rugby scrum.
Trust little old me to gets this beauty.
I sat in the chair
took out my false teeth
knowing she wouldn’t want to see them
and opened my mouth wider
so she could have a peek inside.
“I’m going to have to take an X-ray at those.”
“No problem.” I replied.
After the X-rays were taken,
she asked me what pills I was on.
“The one you put in your shoe to make you go limp.”
I replied jokingly.
Sadly she didn’t get the joke I’m afraid.
However, because of the pills, I was on
and the way the tooth
was embedded in my gum.
I have to go to the hospital
to have the darn thing out.
Just my luck.
Here I get the prettiest dentist
to fool around with my teeth
and she then refers me to the hospital.
Doesn’t that just take the cake.
Just my luck.
There is a small consolation when I go.
They will knock me out
and I won’t see who is pulling out my teeth.
25 April 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
With Teeth
But she will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
She will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
Keeps holding on
She will not let you go
Keeps holding on and on
She will not let you go
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
I cannot go through this again /x8
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
Youve finally found the place where you belong
It comes on strong
She makes you hard
The rules have changed, the line begins to blur
To what you were
Wave goodbye
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
And it runs deeper than you dare to dream it could be
The black seal
She makes you better than anything youve tried
Its in her kiss
She comes along
She gets inside
song performed by by Nine Inch Nails
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Big Problem....
There is this BIG PROBLEM
WE decided not to talk about it
We think that that problem must solve itself
Auto-resolution
So day and night the problem stays there
Like a drunkard in the room
Vomiting
To every nook of the house
The house
That smells like fucking
Shit
But that problem is never considered a problem
There is a room for it to stay
And it can stay
It cannot consume us
It has no mouth and so it has no teeth
It has no tongue it cannot say a word
It stays there like a piece of art
And we begin to appreciate it
Like a piece of rock
Unchanged in the middle of the living room
We eat lunch there
They prepare nice dinners
We drink red wine
We munch chocolates
And sweet berries
The problem stays but it cannot nag us
Because we can pretend
That it is a brother
That we cannot junk but only love
And keep as part of the
Company
There is still this problem
And it did not solve itself
We live by this problem and this problem lives with us
Symbiosis
And so now
What is the problem? Is this a problem after all these years?
It is not anymore
We have learned that it is not a problem anymore
We die soon
And it shall perhaps disappear
Shall it weep over our departure?
That is its problem.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
A Dental Poem
Natural teeth are best for men;
See the dentist now and then;
Don’t eat more of sugar stuff;
Don’t chew tobacco or puff!
Brush your teeth, both morn and night;
Wear your dentures, smooth and light;
Floss your teeth to rid off food;
Keep your oral hygiene good.
Extract teeth that hurt the cheek;
Let gums not bleed nor turn weak;
Rinse your mouth after a café;
Keep your God-given teeth safe.
Do not drink hot tea / coffee;
Do not eat sweets like toffee;
Let your breath be fresh and free;
Keep your teeth strong and healthy!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 9-9-‘10
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Teeth
English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.
poem by Spike Milligan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Problems
Too many problems, oh why am I here?
I need to be me, cause youre all to clear
And I can see theres something wrong with you
Oh, what do you expect me to do?
At least I gotta know what I wanna be
Dont come to me if you need pity
Are you lonely, you got no-one
You got your body in suspension
Thats a problem, problem, problem
The problem is you
Eat your heart out on a plastic tray
You dont do what you want and you fade away
You work for me, youre working nine-to-five
Its too much fun of being alive
Im using my feet for my human machine
You work for me, living for the screen
Are you lonely, all needs catered
You got your brains dehydrated
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Oh what what you gonna do, problem, problem
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Well, what you gonna do with your problem
The problem is you, problem
I aint death trip, but I aint automatic
You work for me, just stay ecstatic
Dont you give me any orders
To people like me, there is no order
Bet you thought you had it all worked out
Bet you thought you knew what I was about
Bet you thought youd solved all your problems
But you are the problem
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Oh, what you gonna do with your problem?
Ill leave it up to you, oh problem
The problem is you, you got a problem
Oh what you gonna do?
They know a doctor, gonna take you away
Thay take you away and they throw away the key
They dont want you and they dont want me
You got a problem the problem is you
Problem, well, what you gonna do?
Problem, have you got a problem?
Problem, well you got a problem
Problem (x17)
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I don't know how to construct a career that'll make me famous. Except maybe get my ears pinned back, get my teeth done, and go to America. But then I'll be competing with billions of actors who haven't got false teeth, and who are 25.
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
quote by Carol Burnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
There is an error
You cannot enter
There is no access
There is a problem
You get disconnected
No problem
I’ll change my face
I’ll take some fingers
From my hands
I’ll take the eyeballs
And take yours
I will rearrange my
Hair and nose and mouth
And realign my teeth
I’ll get your thumb marks
And gee!
I look like you in almost
Everything and
Gee!
I now appear like I am thinking
Like you
Now I will enter now I will get access
There will be no problem
I look like you and think like you
Welcome progress welcome peace
Welcome to uniformity welcome to loss of identity
Welcome to your definition of democracy.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
A Pair Of Smiling Teeth
A pair of smiling teeth, took me by suprise
One miserable november day
Caught by the light that shone from those pearly whites
I was at once diminished in sight
Sore, knocked to the floor
Once bitten twice shy
The smiling teeth bit into my thigh
And then jumped into my bag
They appeared in several anonymous photographs on their own
The smiling teeth arrive without a face
And kept bugging me
Though they remained silent (mostly)
They occasionally snapped back
Like a pair of castanets
The smiling teeth were not easy to forget
The smile was penetrating and fixed
A sinister smile
A horrible monstrous hungry happiness
That pressed down on me from afar
Even when the teetb were trapped in a jar
And thrown out to sea
I could feel that smile pressing down on me
My thin lined lips were beginning to curve at the edges
My teeth pushed through the chaos of my serious state
Until a fix grin emerged from my chin to cheek
So fixed was the grin I lost the power of speech
Nor could I eat no more
That smile those smiling teeth had possessed me
Like a fake hollywood smile on a cheap boardwalk of fame
I smiled an eternal full toothed smile
I never spoke again
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Don’t Leave Your Teeth on a Tray or the Cat Will Play with Them (Fun Poem 44)
This is a cautionary tale,
but I must add that it is true.
Last week my wife after eating an evening meal
decided to remove her bottom plate and put on a tray.
It seemed that it was rubbing against her gums.
Our next-door neighbour came in
and she and Vera retired to the kitchen
to play a game of cards.
After a couple of hands they heard
our youngest cat Charlie playing with something,
they thought it was just one of her toys.
It wasn’t until the next morning
when she went to put her teeth in
that she realised that the toy
Charlie was playing with
were actually her bottom teeth.
The moral of this story
is if you have false teeth,
always put them away
or some passing cat might think
they are a new toy
to have a game with and play.
(12 November 2007)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Woman With Too Many Teeth
The woman with too many teeth was accused of 'smiling too much'
In the office, on the phone
Even when she was on her own [as seen by cctv! ]
The woman with too many teeth would always hesitate and was
Losing weight,
And some got a hunch, that she could not eat her lunch
The woman with too many teeth could barely talk
She also had a funny walk
Due in part to her heavy jaw
She kept her head to the floor
Or covered her mouth with her scarf
As if to muffle a laugh, in a serious place
At funerals and in meetings
So as to 'keep a straight face in disguise]
At weddings and parties she could let herself go
Though her teeth hurt, and she was called a flirt
She left, embarrassed, confused and always alone
Was this her fate?
When she slept, the wind whistled through her top plate
And she almost swallowed her tongue
At the end of her tether, and quite irate
At the 'smiling strangers' blocking up her front gate
She sent them packing,
from jehovahs witnesses.
To refugees from kuwait
And told herself it wasn't too late
To find a twist in the road
That could make her mouth straight
She needed some love and some real understanding
So she tripped on the stairs and had a crash landing
But nothing had shifted except a couple of teeth
And now she was GRINNING in sheer disbelief
She tried to walk out into oncoming traffic
Then to hang by her teeth, by a piece of elastic
But the elastic snapped
So she bunjee jumped
Gripping hard with her molars, that took the full brunt
They fell like white splinters.......
At last she could have ' a serious lunch! '
Somehow she knew there's always a 'happy ever after'
Though she she was toothless and sore,
With both legs in plaster
With a 'serious expression at last
SAYING, PLEASE, NO MORE LAUGHTER! !
T
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Trumpet
A friend fell and smashed up his teeth and jaw,
And ended up in 'casualty' what's more,
The surgeon came to sew up his damaged face,
And put his teeth and jaw back into place.
He asked the surgeon, if he would be able to play the trumpet,
No problem at all, the surgeon said, superbly, that I can bet.
Oh, how amazing, said my friend, Gosh, I must tell my wife,
Because, I've never ever played a trumpet, in my life.
poem by Ernestine Northover
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Ito Eats
(words & music by sid tepper - roy bennett)
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eating all the while
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Ito is an eating boy
He never get enough from fish and poi
He eat everything he dont care what
He even eat the shell from the coconut
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Hey, ito little faster
Ito little slower
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
When you say that stranger smile
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Chewing Gum (Fun Poem 46)
I enjoy chewing gum
it takes my mind off cigarettes,
but because I have false teeth.
(I lost the real ones years ago)
Chewing gum become like chewing super glue.
When it sticks, boy does it stick.
You stand in the bathroom
completely and utterly gummy
scraping the gum of your dentures.
So now, my motto is
if you have dentures
suck on a hard-boiled sweet,
they don’t stick to your teeth.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
On Some White Corpuscles
your teeth are yellow and you say these are healthy teeth
you must envy
these yellow teeth
your eyes are happy, they are smiling till the last day,
and you are proud saying
look, these are happy eyes why not take a picture
of them and copy them
to be your eyes,
your skins are tight and you are too very proud of them
these skins hold my bones and there are no rattlings
in the house of your body
then i ask what is your problem then, why you too
take the walks in the morning?
you said your hemoglobin count is low and you sometimes
faint and your lover is worried always taking you limp
in his arms when you kiss in the dark,
i see, this kind of thing to a man of your lifetstyle,
i need not ask if you have been taking large doses
from his white corpuscles,
from the cartilage between his legs,
something too personal you say
there is no envy somehow
you close your mouth hiding your yellow teeth
with some sauce still
about to dry on the gums,
last night, you say, was the best night you ever had,
something new
fresh and you are frank enought to admit
something that you always eat
and swallow
will not last you a life time
love to you, is always, a temporary, fleeting thing,
a fact too tight like your skin
holding all your dangling bones
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Mike
dad, what was Nigel supposed to do with your body?
a life that I will never understand
whose false teeth were gently pushed back into your
mouth by your daughter's husband
what am I supposed to do with this?
I feel like I am not nice because sometimes
it is hard for me to think something happy about you
except for that dad, I love you and will always, always miss you
pull my finger-
song performed by by Xiu Xiu
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Mike
dad, what was Nigel supposed to do with your body?
a life that I will never understand
whose false teeth were gently pushed back into your
mouth by your daughter's husband
what am I supposed to do with this?
I feel like I am not nice because sometimes
it is hard for me to think something happy about you
except for that dad, I love you and will always, always miss you
pull my finger-
song performed by by Xiu Xiu
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Going ahead
What is the problem
And there is no problem.
You want to do
And the work done
You want to go
And you gone.
The problem is
There is no problem
The problem you created
Is not a problem.
It is your duty
To think yourself
What to do
And there is nothing
To do.
Who are you to do
And the problem is
You are going
A head to do.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The idea really came to me the day I got my new false teeth.
quote by George Orwell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!