Chewing Gum (Fun Poem 46)
I enjoy chewing gum
it takes my mind off cigarettes,
but because I have false teeth.
(I lost the real ones years ago)
Chewing gum become like chewing super glue.
When it sticks, boy does it stick.
You stand in the bathroom
completely and utterly gummy
scraping the gum of your dentures.
So now, my motto is
if you have dentures
suck on a hard-boiled sweet,
they don’t stick to your teeth.
poem by David Harris
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Related quotes
Chewing Gum
chewing gum
wondering where i've been and what i've done
wondering where i'll go and where i'll run
hide myself away from everyone
chewing gum
doesn't ['does it'] bother you that you're not the one
keeps you up at night in a fear of dream
to count the silver bullet of your misty
it's yours to keep
chewing gum
innocence lost in electric smiles
perfectly cast in desperate clouds ['colds']
loving with under
city lights
with all their {miles}
and all i need
is you
by my side
by my side
by my side
chewing gum
wondering where i've been and what i've done
wondering where i'll go and where i'll run
hide myself away from everyone
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
song performed by by Smashing Pumpkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our Cow
Down by the slipralls stands our cow
Chewing, chewing, chewing,
She does not care what folks out there
In the great, big world are doing.
She sees the small cloud-shadows pass
And green grass shining under.
If she does think, what does she think
About it all, I wonder?
She sees the swallows skimming by
Above the sweet young clover,
The light reeds swaying in the wind
And tall trees bending over.
Far down the track she hears the crack
of bullock-whips, and raving
Of angry men where, in the sun,
Her fellow-beasts are slaving.
Girls, we are told, can scratch and scold,
And boys will fight and wrangle,
And big, grown men, just now and then,
Fret o'er some fingle-fangle,
Vexing the earth with grief or mirth,
Longing, rejoicing, rueing -
But by the slipralls stands our cow,
Chewing.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Dear friends, we surely all agree
'Dear friends, we surely all agree
There's almost nothing worse to see
Than some repulsive little bum
Who's always chewing chewing gum.
(It's very near as bad as those
Who sit around and pick the nose).
So please believe us when we say
That chewing gum will never pay;
This sticky habit's bound to send
The chewer to a sticky end.
Did any of you ever know
A person called Miss Bigelow?
This dreadful woman saw no wrong
In chewing, chewing all day long.
She chewed while bathing in the tub,
She chewed while dancing at her club,
She chewed in church and on the bus;
It really was quite ludicrous!
And when she couldn't find her gum,
She'd chew up the linoleum,
Or anything that happened near–
A pair of boots, the postman's ear,
Or other people's underclothes,
And once she chewed her boy friend's nose.
She went on chewing till, at last,
Her chewing muscles grew so vast
That from her face her giant chin
Stuck out just like a violin.
For years and years she chewed away,
Consuming fifty packs a day,
Until one summer's eve, alas,
A horrid business came to pass.
Miss Bigelow went late to bed,
For half an hour she lay and read,
Chewing and chewing all the while
Like some great clockwork crocodile.
At last, she put her gum away
Upon a special little tray,
And settled back and went to sleep–
(She managed this by counting sheep).
But now, how strange! Although she slept,
Those massive jaws of hers still kept
On chewing, chewing through the night,
Even with nothing there to bite.
They were, you see, in such a groove
They positively had to move.
And very grim it was to hear
In pitchy darkness, loud and clear,
This sleeping woman's great big trap
Opening and shutting, snap–snap–snap!
Faster and faster, chop–chop–chop,
The noise went on, it wouldn't stop.
Until at last her jaws decide
To pause and open extra wide,
And with the most tremendous chew
They bit the lady's tongue in two.
Thereafter, just from chewing gum,
Miss Bigelow was always dumb,
And spent her life shut up in some
Disgusting sanatorium.
And that is why we'll try so hard
To save Miss Violet Beauregard
From suffering an equal fate.
She's still quite young. It's not too late,
Provided she survives the cure.
We hope she does. We can't be sure.'
poem by Roald Dahl
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Orthodigital Todays Lunacy
My new dentures are digital
because I have the wherewithal
to buy the latest gadgetry.
I love modern technology.
They play pop music as I eat.
No other dentures can compete,
can receive the latest news
from any channel which I choose.
I need not change the batteries
they can recharge themselves with ease.
The movement of my lower jaw
creates the current which they store.
I think that I can claim to be.
The first to have such dentistry.
They are my only claim to fame
have become a household name.
The only man whose dentures do
a great deal more than simply chew.
It seems my dentures have made me
into a real celebrity.
16-Jan-08
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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Do not roast baobab kernels and leave those who have teeth chewing.
A Dental Poem
Natural teeth are best for men;
See the dentist now and then;
Don’t eat more of sugar stuff;
Don’t chew tobacco or puff!
Brush your teeth, both morn and night;
Wear your dentures, smooth and light;
Floss your teeth to rid off food;
Keep your oral hygiene good.
Extract teeth that hurt the cheek;
Let gums not bleed nor turn weak;
Rinse your mouth after a café;
Keep your God-given teeth safe.
Do not drink hot tea / coffee;
Do not eat sweets like toffee;
Let your breath be fresh and free;
Keep your teeth strong and healthy!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 9-9-‘10
poem by John Celes
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To Be Courteous
to be courteous
to this society where i live
i pocket my smile
i swallow my pride
you see me chewing a gum
and you order me
to swallow it
because you don't like seeing me
chewing this mint
i swallow it
in your name
and behave as though nothing happened
no i will not tell anybody
i will not tell about you or your name
i will not retaliate
i will just write
this poem
if you call this a poem at all
this shame
and this shamelessness of you
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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False Teeth - A Children's Poem
Our teacher had false teeth;
She kept them in a box
Inside the classroom cupboard
Which she forgot to lock,
So we broke in at break-time
And took them out to play.
They fell into a puddle
And turned a muddy grey.
We gave them back to teacher;
She had to grit her teeth
Or, rather, to de-grit them
For grit was underneath
Under the muddy covering
Mixed with her chewing gum.
This made her gums quite tender;
She didn’t find it fun.
But later we regretted
The mischief that we’d made;
When lessons stopped for playtime,
Our teacher soon explained
That punishment must fit the crime
So, for our evil sin,
Just like her now-cleaned gnashers,
She had to keep us in.
poem by C. Richard Miles
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Rosemary Rose
Rosemary rose,
Nature sure gave you such a beautiful nose.
though youre not beautiful as someone would know,
That rosemary rose,
Has eyes of blue,
And someone is treasuring a picture of you,
Taken on a holiday when you were just three,
My sweet rosemary.
You look nothing like a child,
Yet youre such a little baby.
Chewing on your liquorish gum, and cigarettes.
Rosemary rose,
Carefully sewing on your buttons and bows.
Hoping that someone will be wanting to know,
Of rosemary rose.
You look nothing like a child,
Yet youre such a little baby.
Chewing on your liquorish gum, and cigarettes.
Rosemary rose,
Carefully sewing on your buttons and bows.
Hoping that someone will be wanting to know,
Of rosemary rose.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Waiter has no teeth
Works incredible long hours
For new dentures
quote by by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Waiter has no teeth
Works incredible long hours
For new dentures
quote by by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A plot
He will never leave me
I've put paid to that,
I know I'll not be lonely
in my London flat.
I've hidden his dentures
and his right shoe.
I've thrown his new
hearing aid down the loo.
I've buried his walking stick
and his false leg,
I've secreted right under
my old double bed
I've given his glasses
to Oxfam,
I'm using his wig
as a mop!
So If he decides
to leave me today
you can be sure that
he won't get away
Well part of him might
but the rest I will keep
or get back from
the local pawn shop.
poem by Ruth Walters
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Early In The Morning When The Sun Just Appears
Early in the morning
when the sun just appears over the hillocks,
when the guinea fowl call from the field,
then I see him
with his crooked walking stick chewing biltong
and the morning is dumb,
pure like an angel is his company;
before he disappears between the green maize stalks.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.
quote by Hank Ketcham
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stuck On You
(words & music by aaron schroeder - j. leslie mcfarland)
You can shake an apple off an apple tree
Shake-a, shake- sugar,
But youll never shake me
Uh-uh-uh
No-sir-ee, uh, uh
Im gonna stick like glue,
Stick because im
Stuck on you
Gonna run my fingers thru your long black hair
Squeeze you tighter than a grizzly bear
Uh-uh-uh,
Yes-sir-ee, uh, uh
Im gonna stick like glue
Stick, because im
Stuck on you
Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall
Aint gonna do you no good at all
cause once I catch ya and the kissin starts
A team o wild horses couldnt tear us apart
Try to take a tiger from his daddys side
Thats how love is gonna keep us tied
Uh-uh-uh
Yes-sir-ee, uh,uh
Im gonna stick like glue
Stick, because im
Stuck on you
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stuck
What am I gonna do Lord without him?
Think I'm drownin'. Don't know how to swim.
He kept my hopes high but now he's so low
that even if I follow him where will we go?
His spirit is gone. They've done him in.
No matter what he tries he just can't win.
But I love him. I love him
so there's nothing I can do
except stand by him all the way
and stick to him like glue.
We started out together and things were good.
I never asked for too much. Did what I could.
He can't get a job. He's tried every place.
Every time I see him there's pain on his face.
He's down on himself and what can I say,
the same old thing I say every day?
I love you. I love you
but there's nothing I can do
except stand by you all the way
and stick to you like glue.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Fair Weather Ahead
Theres this place full of mountain heads
Living and chewing upon the fat
Built upon the hazy plan
Like foundations slipping through the sand
Long teeth and whiskers like a rat
Fearing only those present
They got zero emotion
And everybodys fed up with that
Warm outside but very cold within
Followed and praised for many years
They got all the promotions
Isnt that the way its always been
Historys written always red
Its pages are painful and clear
Its so full of devotion
Makes you wonder where it could have led
Put the lights out
Fair weather ahead
These strange new creatures
They wont be led
song performed by by INXS
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Blob On Four Wheels (Fun Poem 71)
Whatever happened to
the car designers out there?
Does there mind go blank
when they are designing cars.
It must do
because from what I’ve seen on the road.
Round blobs on wheels with no character at all.
There is nothing to distinguish
one car from another.
Years ago, you could pick a model,
which would have a character
of its own for years.
Now they churn them out
with increasing numbers,
car with no distinctive character.
Moreover, when you look at them
what do you see
nothing but a blob on four wheels.
A real sad state of affairs.
They may have super duper engines
and can travel fast,
but the bodywork leaves a lot to be desired.
Rounded bits here and there.
It is like someone driving
a bubble blown in chewing gum.
No character, not at all.
Just a blob on four wheels.
So what have to the designers,
did they loose their creativity?
29 March 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Problem With Teeth
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out their course
They shift when you're eating
Or fly loose at a greeting
Some marriages end with divorce!
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they won't always lie
In a mouth half their size
And can drive a sane man up the wall
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out life's course
In on a hospital stay they get 'put away'
Until you can't find them at all!
And when they do finally arrive
It's on a woman whose barely alive
Though's she's making a terrible din
But when she smiles she possesses your grin
And it's hard to reclaim them
Because she's renamed them
But the teeth that you've got won't fit in! ! .
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they rarey survive in life's course
So it's better to brush and religiously floss
So you don't have to lose them at all!
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
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When Inside A Devotion Applied Arrives
It can often be attributed to one's environment,
That prevents...
A seeking to reach above and beyond,
Perceptions of fenced in limits.
But one determined,
May not be a contender to become voted,
The one 'most' congenial.
With a purpose to promote one's personality.
A goal that is fixed,
Keeps one's mind focused upon it.
And it will not be easy,
Believing encouragement from anyone...
May or may not come.
And a self motivation can feel like a weight,
One carries like the sticking to the teeth...
Of chewing gum.
If one is committed and admits to it,
This may initiate misunderstandings.
And be the cause of severing from relationships...
When inside a devotion applied arrives and is decided.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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