Life is just a bowl of pits.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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