People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
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A sobering spirit in Lagen
Can be heard swearing 'Starving's a bargain!
But enough is enough
(Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff) .'
Then retreats, hunting bargains again.
quote by by Douglas Scotney
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There are times over different projects when I've asked the writers why people are swearing for no good reason. I tell them that it would be funnier if there weren't these swear words.
quote by John Ratzenberger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mind your language Billy!
Old Billy just loved to swear
he really liked to cuss
he'd use bad language everywhere
in the street and on the bus.
He would even swear in church
effing that and effing this
when the vicar told him to stop
Billy swore and said give us a kiss.
He swore when he was stone cold sober
but even worse when he'd had a few
old ladies often told him to mind his language
but Billy would laugh and say screw you.
One day though he wouldn't stop cussing
so a Policeman arrested him on the spot
when asked in court why he was swearing
Billy replied because he was too effing hot.
Sadly Billy choked one day while he was eating
but even in death his swearing would never die
because on his gravestone are written the words:
I EFFING KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THAT EFFING PORK PIE!
poem by Kevin Halls
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Must swear off from swearing. Bad habit.
quote by Rutherford B. Hayes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Fun Fill Car Ride Late In The Night
A fun fill ride it was
though it scare the hell out of us
Bumping up and down in the car
Stopping and going so suddenly
But still fun we had though
you can hear swearing everywhere
Everyone swearing i would not
get in the car again if there a next time
Lucky it was late late in the night
and not many cars in sight
most lucky no police car (hehehe)
and we did all got back safe and sound
poem by Josephine Lee
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Funnny? .. Not So Much
it's funny how hello
is always accompanied by good bye
it's funny how good memories
can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever
never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose
if you forgot about your past
it's funny how good friends
can just leave you when your down
it's funny how when you need someone
they're nowhere to be found
it's funny how people change
to make themselfs seem better
it's funny how many lies
are packed into one love letter
it's funny how people can forgive
but they can never really forget
it's funny how one night
can be filled with so many regrets
it; s funny how ironic
lifes turns out to be
it's funny how none of these things
seem really funny to me
poem by Jessica Richards
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Fraternity
I'll never be fraternity
Another disease fraternity
Never believe fraternity
Just armies bored in life
I'll never be fraternity
I'll never need that brand of me
Fading the pace behind your eyes
Free to be straight for shape and size
Waiting awake and watch you rise
Go on keep feeding
Swearing by the
Swearing father
Swearing father
I'll never be fraternity
Another disease fraternity
Never believe fraternity
Just armies bored in life
I don't believe fraternities
See the disease fraternities
Wait of the hate behind your eyes
Free to be straight for shape and size
Waiting awake and watch your rise
Go on keep feeding
Swearing by them
Swearing father
Swearing father
I'll never be fraternity
Another disease fraternity
Never believe fraternity
Just armies bored in life
Hand me down
I'll never be fraternity
Another disease fraternity
Never believe fraternity
Just armies bored in life
Bored in life
Bored in life
song performed by by Foo Fighters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Isn't It Funny?
t's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
It's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
It's funny how forever never seems to really last
It's funny how much you'd loose if you forgot about your past
It's funny how friends can just leave you when you're down
It's funny how when you need someone they're never around
It's funny how people can change and think they're so much better
It's funny how many lies can be packed in one ''love letter''
It's funny how people can forgive even though they can't forget
It's funny how one night can contain so much regret
It's funny how ironic life turns out to be,
But the funniest part,
Is that none of it is funny...
To me.
poem by Gina Durst
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Funny, But Then Not...
Its funny how hello is alway accompanied with goodbye,
Its funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
Its funny how forever never really seems to last,
Its funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past.
Its funny how 'friends' can just leave you when your down,
Its funny how when you need someone their never around.
Its funny how people change and think they're so much better,
Its funny how many lies can be packed into one 'love letter'.
Its funny how people forgive even though they cant forget,
Its funny how one night can contain so much regret.
Its funny how ironic life turns out to be,
But the funniest part of all...
Is that none of thats funny to me
poem by Daniela X. Daraz
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Funny?
It's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
It's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
It's funny how forever never seems to really last
It's funny how much you'd loose if you forgot about your past
It's funny how friends can just leave you when you're down
It's funny how when you need someone they're never around
It's funny how people can change and think they're so much better
It's funny how many lies can be packed in one ''love letter''
It's funny how people can forgive even though they can't forget
It's funny how one night can contain so much regret
It's funny how ironic life turns out to be,
But the funniest part,
Is that none of it is funny...
To me.
poem by Patrick 'the pyropoet' littrell
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Tony Hale is a devout Christian and is a complete retard when it comes to swearing. The script called for him to swear for about 30 seconds and he just couldn't do it.
quote by Jason Bateman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Its funny how
Its funny how hello is always accompanied with good-bye
Its funny how remembering good memories can make you cry
Its funny how forever never seems to really last
Its funny how much you'd lose if you forgot your past
Its funny how friends can just leave you when you're down
Its funny how when you need someone there never around
Its funny how people can change and think there so much betta
Its funny how many lies can be packed into one love letta
Its funny how people can forgive even tho they cant forget
Its funny how one night can catain of so much regret
Its funny how crazy and ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all is that none of that seems funny to me
poem by Heather Noble
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It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.
Consideration (Thought)
Its funny how people always tend to trip over there own feet.
Its funny how they can run into a sign, while walking down a street.
Its funny how putting mentos in your friends cola makes it foam.
Its funny how on Halloween you can go and T.P. someone's home.
Its funny how people jump when someone yells 'SURPRISE! '.
Its funny how many truths are backed upon lies.
There are a lot of 'funny' things people can do, but i bet they aren't as funny when people do them to you.
Care about others.
Think before you do.
And you will find out life,
will be much more fun, and enjoyable for you.
poem by Poet of the River
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It's Funny How
It's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
It's funny how remembering good memories can make you cry
It's funny how forever never seems to really last
It's funny how much you'd lose if youforgot youre past
It's funny how friends can just leave when you're down
It's funny how when you need someone the're never around
It's funny how people can change and think the're so much better
It's funny how many lies can be packed into one love letter
It's funny how people can forgive even tho they cant forget
It's funny how one night can catain of so much regret
It's funny how crazy and ironic life turns out to be but the funniest part of all is that non of that seeems funny to me.
I got this poem from a friend i dont know who writ it or where it came from.
poem by Amelia Gardiner
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The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
The Colour Of My Love
I'll paint my mood in shades of blue
Paint my soul to be with you
I'll sketch your lips in shaded tones
Draw your mouth to my own
I'll draw your arms around my waist
Then all doubt I shall erase
I'll paint the rain that softly lands on your wind-blown hair
I'll trace a hand to wipe out your tears
A look to calm your fears
A silhouette of dark and light
While we hold each other oh so tight
I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that we'll never part
That's the colour of my love
I'll paint the truth
Show how I feel
Try to make you completely real
I'll use a brush so light and fine
To draw you close and make you mine
I'll paint the truth
Show how I feel
Try to make you completely real
I'll use a brush so light and fine
To draw you close and make you mine
I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that we'll never part
That's the colour of my love
I'll draw the years all passing by
So much to learn so much to try
And with this ring our lives will start
Swearing that we'll never part
I offer what you cannot buy
Devoted love until we die
song performed by by Celine Dion from The Colour Of My Love
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's Kind of Funny
It's kind of funny how those who want life get it taken away,
while those who loathe it wander around.
Almost as if a waste.
It's kind of funny how those who try to do right get it spit back in their face.
The bad walk among us as if to be common people.
They, they get your respect.
It's kind of funny the people you love, they're usually the fall of you.
They say they're there for you but always somehow make you feel worthless.
It's kind of funny how everything can end so fast.
Everything can just disappear.
It's kind of funny how I wish I never met you.
I wish I could tell you.
I wish we could be.
And I wish that everything wasn't so funny and that everything could be what it is.
It's kind of funny how me and you,
we don't matter.
What I say and do will always be funny to you.
It's no longer funny.
poem by Elina Fields
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Funny... But Not
it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me
poem by Arianna Loshnowsky
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Funny....But Not For Me! ! ! !
t's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one word can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me
poem by Gaurav Sharma
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