There are times over different projects when I've asked the writers why people are swearing for no good reason. I tell them that it would be funnier if there weren't these swear words.
quote by John Ratzenberger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Mind your language Billy!
Old Billy just loved to swear
he really liked to cuss
he'd use bad language everywhere
in the street and on the bus.
He would even swear in church
effing that and effing this
when the vicar told him to stop
Billy swore and said give us a kiss.
He swore when he was stone cold sober
but even worse when he'd had a few
old ladies often told him to mind his language
but Billy would laugh and say screw you.
One day though he wouldn't stop cussing
so a Policeman arrested him on the spot
when asked in court why he was swearing
Billy replied because he was too effing hot.
Sadly Billy choked one day while he was eating
but even in death his swearing would never die
because on his gravestone are written the words:
I EFFING KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THAT EFFING PORK PIE!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I don't think Will does get upstaged because his reaction is always funnier than what is actually happening. That is also the reason Tommy is funnier than Will.
quote by Barry Sonnenfeld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
In the early 1990s, when a lot of the developing world opened up to international capital flows... they ended up in very good long-term projects, but projects that weren't going to pay off for five or 10 or 20 years.
quote by Jeffrey Sachs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Four Main Types of Writers (personal opinion)
The Lonely Writer
Some writings tell me
This person is lonely
And is reaching out
For the touch of a friendly comment
These writers are sad, solitary,
Isolated, but good persons
And quite often very good writers
The needy juvenile writer
Some writings contain words
Or language meant to shock
And to offend.
These writers are lonely also
But in a different way.
These writers are simply saying
Like a little child
“hey! I exist! Someone better
Acknowledge me! ”
These writers can often write well
But usually don’t, can’t, or choose not to
The Spite Writer
This writer can be of either gender
But seems to be in a female majority
They’ve been spurned or rejected
Two-timed or lied to.
And they are going to vent their ire
In the most public way they can.
These writers can also be very good writers
But too often let their anger get in the way.
The Religious Writer
These writers show people passionate
And zealously devoted to singing the praises
Of the Lord and goodness and charity.
They’re probably austere, honest people
Who almost always write very well.
For the most part these writers seem
To want to spread the word and
At the same time tend to be rather singular
In the subject matter of their writings,
Rarely attempting other genres.
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
They are damn good projects - excellent projects. That goes for all the projects up there. You know some people make fun of people who speak a foreign language, and dumb people criticize something they do not understand, and that is what is going on up there - God damn it!
quote by Harry Hopkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Punch Drunk
We got to the pub, and were served our food;
Everyone, it seemed, was in a good mood.
Then, in walked a man who was really drunk;
He was refused service, so he threw a punch.
Thankfully, the barman ducked out of the way,
But he pushed the panic button straightaway.
The man was angry, and he started swearing;
At him, the customers were, very soon, staring.
From swearing, he was politely asked to refrain;
To which he answered ‘I've got a villa in Spain! ' (?)
Both customer and barman were beginning to seethe.
The Duty Manager asked the antagonist to leave.
The door of the pub, the man was shown;
Now, in every local pub, he is well-known.
From all pubs in the city, he is now banned;
I guess his day didn't turn out quite as planned!
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Writer's Drought
You've heard of a thing called writer's block and you've heard of writer's drought
But writers are never short of things on which they can write about
It's just at times their inspiration well does seem to run dry
And they cannot seem to pen a line though hard enough they try.
The writers drought it causes writers moments of self doubt
Till the words that seem locked in them eventually flow out
Through their pens to their notebooks their dry spells do not last
And on time lost out on penning words they seem to catch up fast.
Some writers in their writing drought cannot seem to feel inspired
To write even a single line they feel mentally tired
But when fresh inspiration comes to them much better stuff they do write
And feeling re-invigorated they sit and pen all night.
Most writers you will talk to of writers drought can tell
When there is no inspiration in their inspiration well
But when inspiration returns to them and their creative juices flow
They become much better writers and in self confidence grow.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Inner Need
I had something strange happen to me.
Someone asked for a copy of my Easter sermon.
They said the words I spoke
made such of an impression on them.
They asked if they could have
a copy of it to keep.
Of course, I said it was no problem.
Sometimes we as writers
write things we cannot see,
that fill someone else’s world
with some inner need.
The words we write bring them something
we may have never thought about.
They bring some peace of mind
that they had been searching for.
They feel our words
are so relevant to them
that they have this need
to read those words
over and over again.
2 May 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The funnier the material, the funnier I could make it.
quote by Ruth Buzzi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Not All Good People
Good people are celebrated and good people are in jail
And we condemn good people by our own words to fail
And since people are not the best judges of character it would be fair to say
That the best candidate does not always get elected on Election Day.
Not all good people as some believe are destined to die young
And many good people as we know their praises are unsung
And in a World of billions of human beings the good outnumber the bad
And that not many are recognized for their true worth does seem a little sad.
Not all good people are in the Newspapers or are ever in the news
And on what they think is fair and right are never asked for their views
Many are the quite achievers of publicity quite shy
Why the egotistical can become successful I often wonder why?
Not all good people are leaders though by good example they do lead
Though all good people are happy with enough and they never yield to greed
And though there are billions of good people in the bigger World out there
The good who make the news headlines to say the least seem rare.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Thanks for the Memories by Fall Out Boy
[Intro]
I'm gonna make it bend and break
(It sent you to me without wait)
Say a prayer, but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show...
(Let the good times roll)
(Let the good times roll)
[Verse 1]
And I want these words to make things right
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life,
'Who does he think he is? '
If that's the worst you got
Better put your fingers back to the keys
[Chorus]
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great;
'He tastes like you, only sweeter'!
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories;
'See, he tastes like you only sweeter'!
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
[Verse 2]
Been looking forward to the future
But my eyesight is going bad
And this crystal ball
It's always cloudy except for
(Except for)
When you look into the past
(Look into the past)
One night stand...
(One night stand, oh)
[Chorus]
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great;
'He tastes like you only sweeter'!
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories;
'See, he tastes like you only sweeter'!
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
[Interlude]
They say
I only think in the form of crunching numbers
In hotel rooms collecting page-six lovers
Get me out of my mind
And get you out of those clothes
I'm a liner away
From getting you into the mood
Whoa
[Chorus]
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great;
'He tastes like you but sweeter'!
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories;
'See, he tastes like you only sweeter'!
[Chorus]
One night and one more time (One more night, one more time)
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great;
'He tastes like you but sweeter'!
One night, yeah, and one more time (One more night, one more time)
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories; (For the memories)
'See, he tastes like you only sweeter'!
poem by Shi Yelami
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
When You Need Someone
How does it feel to be on you own
while the night slips away
you toss and turn like a ship in the storm
have you lost your way
I can see by the look in your eyes
you've been hurt before
hold me close like the very first time
cause that's what love is for
Theres no reason to cry cause ill be there beside you when you need someone
I'd never leave you
I swear that you will be the only one
through the sorrow and pain just call out my name when you need someone
I'd sleep forever i swear that you would never be the only one when you need someone
Sometimes the world can be so cold and you dont know why
you're reaching out but theres no one to hold in times rushing by
I can see by the look in your eyes you just can't let go
hold me close and together we'll find just what love is for
Theres no reason to cry cause ill be there beside you when you need someone
I'd never leave you
I swear that you would be the only one
through the sorrow and pain just call out my name when you need someone
I'd sleep forever I swear that you would never be the lonely one when you need someone
When you need someone its a long long day when you need someone
it's a crawl and change
when you need someone you can call out my name
Theres no reason to cry cause I'll be there beside you when you need someone
I'd never leave you
I swear that you would be the only one
through the sorrow and pain just call out my name when you need someone
I'd sleep forever I swear that you would never be the lonely one when you need someone....
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Walls Upon Love
Hidden by walls
Hidden from fear, quiet beats quiet yells!
Beats like betrayal, beats like confusion! Back and forth inside my head.
It wonders and wonders and finally opens.
You laugh and say no words no thoughts no kindness comes out! Questions and questions no answers at all. Lie after lie bring the walls up! Water fluids burns like acid rain! Beats slower and slower hoping to die! Three words that can kill a soul in sight. Words that are wishes that are in beats of time. Three words that are words with no emotion at all. You swear and swear those words arE all mine, for in a second you turn and yell and swear to the men whom my beats wish to be at times. Hoping and hoping to kill every beat that beats your name a thousand times.
poem by Kimberly Picazo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Truth can Hurt
The truth can hurt
Some writers write infrequently
and others write prolifically.
What matters is the quality
much more so than the quantity.
Good writers by their words display
their thoughts in a coherent way
Describing things they have observed
and garner praise that’s well deserved.
But some think anything will do
and they pay no attention to
the rules successful writers use
they will not learn: point blank refuse
to accept well meant critique.
They much prefer dishonest praise
from so called friends afraid
to speak the simple truth lest they dismay
their friend by speaking honestly.
So naturally they take offence
when other people criticise
that which seems perfect in their eyes.
True writers take this in their stride
they know their work is not perfect.
But what they know is they have tried
and that is all you can expect.
New writers lack experience
but everyone must start some where.
The wise ones do not take offence
when other people show they care
enough to offer some advice.
Because they can remember when
they too were just a new novice
to painting pictures with their pen.
27 feb 08
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
It's nice to be asked to do good projects.
quote by Dougray Scott
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
How Many Times Have You Asked Yourself
Finally...
You reach home.
Believing you are sheltered.
And will get deserving rest!
Then suddenly the phone rings.
To leave you wondering,
If the caller is someone you should address.
And with unanswered questions,
You unleash from your mind...
What should be done next!
You want to know...
How many times,
Have you...
Asked yourself,
How many times...
You've asked yourself,
How could you find...
Yourself in the middle of somebody else's mess!
How many times,
Have you...
Asked yourself,
How many times...
You've asked yourself,
How could you find...
Yourself in the middle of somebody else's mess!
When you have issues you have not yet to address.
How many times,
Have you...
Asked yourself,
How many times...
You've asked yourself,
How could you find...
Yourself in the middle of somebody else's mess!
Relax?
You can't!
A tension is enhanced.
The phone keeps ringing to erase the chance.
And...
How many times,
Have you...
Asked yourself,
How many times...
You've asked yourself,
How could you find...
Yourself in the middle of somebody else's mess!
When you have issues you have not yet to address.
And that somebody wants to disturb your rest.
And with unanswered questions,
You unleash from your mind...
What should be done next!
You want to know...
How many times,
Have you...
Asked yourself,
How many times...
You've asked yourself,
How could you find...
Yourself in the middle of somebody else's mess!
When you have issues you have not yet to address.
And that somebody wants to disturb your rest.
How many times,
Have you asked yourself...
How many times,
You've asked yourself....
How many times have you done this and did nothing else?
To be there to please somebody else...
And not yourself!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
One Good Reason
Give me one good reason
That I should care
Give me one good reason
And Ill be there
Like a thief youve stolen
Like rain on a grave
Like a priest whos spoken
But failed to save
Now the air is empty
And the ground the same
Love has gone to be buried
Beside my name
Give me one good reason
That I should care
Give me one good reason
And Ill be there
Why couldnt you have told me
About your liars kiss
I cant believe youd leave me
At a time like this
And the wind is howling
And its a dying dream
And my faith is silent
While my doubts scream
Give me one good reason
That I should care
Give me one good reason
And Ill be there
Give me one good reason
Give me one good reason
Give me one good reason
That I should care
Give me one good reason
Give me one good reason
Give me one good reason
That I should care
Give me one good reason
Give me one good reason
Give me one good reason
That I should care
song performed by by Eagle Eye Cherry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Breathe
I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance girl
I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you
I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your Valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine
I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you
I wasn't there when you were happy
And I wasn't there when you were down
Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out
I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for ...
I'll be there for you, these five w
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Ill Be There For You
I guess this time youre really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love in suicide
You say youre cried a thousand rivers
And now youre swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you wont save me anymore
Now Im praying to God youll give me one more chance, girl
Ill be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
Ill be there for you
Id live and Id die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words cant say what a love can do
Ill be there for you
I know you know were had some good times
How they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I cant buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
Ill be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drink, Ill be the wine
Ill be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
Ill be there for you
Id live and Id die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words cant say what a love can do
Ill be there for you
Solo
And I want there when you were happy
I wasnt there when you were down
I didnt mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish Id seen you blow those candles out
Ill be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
Ill be there for you
Id live and Id die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words cant say what a love can do
Ill be there for you
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!