Tony Hale is a devout Christian and is a complete retard when it comes to swearing. The script called for him to swear for about 30 seconds and he just couldn't do it.
quote by Jason Bateman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Retard Girl
Retard girl makes us sick
Retard, poke her with a stick
Well she walks funny, kind of like a pig
Gotta hate that retard girl
See the retard girl walking in her school
In the same dress from fourth grade
See the retard girl cross-eyed in the schoolyard
Looking for the friend she made
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont forget her face
Now shines the moon among the lake of fire
Shes sucking dick out in the yard
Well she walks funny, kind of like a pig
Gotta hate that retard girl
Hear the retard girl do one for me
She dont think like the others do
See the retard girl squirming in the mud
Throw her in the trash can, see what she does
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont forget her face
I ask her mother, whyd you implode
Well, her heads so big it just might explode
And she walks funny, kind of like a pig
Gotta hate that retard girl
Hit her
See the retard girl staring at the sun
What does she see
See the retard girl stare at everyone
I hope she doesnt see me
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont forget her face
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont throw her away
song performed by by Hole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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17
17 seconds of compassion
17 seconds of peace
17 seconds to remember love is the energy
behind which all is created
17 seconds to remember all that is good
17 seconds to forget all your hurt and pain
17 seconds of faith
17 seconds to trust you again
17 seconds of radiance
17 seconds to send a prayer up
17 seconds is all you really need
song performed by by Smashing Pumpkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Tonys Theme
This is a song about a superhero named tony
Its called tonys theme
Hes got the oil on his chain, for a ride in the rain
No baloney
Ride around on my bicycle like a pony
Im waving hi, hi, hi, hi, hi
Gu-gu-gu-gimme a scream
Give me, give me the theme
Of tony
To-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny
I am tony, super bicycle tony, Im racing
Spitfire turn and pop a wheelie, burn and evil chasing
Im waving bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
I got a card in my spokes
Im practicing my joke, Im learning
To-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny
This is a song about a superhero named tony
Its called tonys theme
I can look at the sun if you give me some bad sun glasses
Im back on the road, I cut my grass like Im told
After classes!
To-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny
To-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny, to-ny
To-ny
song performed by by Pixies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Seconds
All day
Hiding from the sun
Waiting for the golden one
Waiting for your fame
After the parade has gone
Outside was a happy place
Every face had a smile like the golden face
For a second
Your knuckles white as your fingers curl
The shot that was heard around the world
For a second
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds of your time to take his life
Seconds
Seconds
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds
For a second
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds
It took seconds of your time to take his life
It took seconds
For a second
It took seconds of your time to take his life
Seconds of your time to take his life
For a second
For a second
For a second
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bones Brigade: An Autobiography
Tony Alva, Steve Caballero, Shepard Fairey, Tommy Guerrero, Ben Harper, Tony Hawk, Christian Hosoi, Mike McGill, Lance Mountain
from Bones Brigade: An Autobiography (2012)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Jesus Christ
Written by Woodie Guthrie
One, two, three, four
Well Jesus was a man
Who traveled through the land
A hard working man and brave
Well he said to the rich 'Give your money to the poor'
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
For they layed Jesus Christ is his grave
Well he went to the preacher
He went to the law
And told them all the same
He said sell all your jewelery and give it to the poor
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
When Jesus came to town all the working folks around
Believed what he did say
Well the bankers and the preachers
They nailed him on a cross
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
And [hard] working people
They followed him around
They sung and shouted gay
Well the cops and the soldiers
They nailed him in the head
And they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
Oh, hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
Well this song was written in New York City
A rich man, preacher and slave
Well if Jesus was to preach while he preached in Galilee
They would lay Jesus Christ in his grave
One, two, three, four!
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
Hale, halelujah
For they layed Jesus Christ in his grave
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mind your language Billy!
Old Billy just loved to swear
he really liked to cuss
he'd use bad language everywhere
in the street and on the bus.
He would even swear in church
effing that and effing this
when the vicar told him to stop
Billy swore and said give us a kiss.
He swore when he was stone cold sober
but even worse when he'd had a few
old ladies often told him to mind his language
but Billy would laugh and say screw you.
One day though he wouldn't stop cussing
so a Policeman arrested him on the spot
when asked in court why he was swearing
Billy replied because he was too effing hot.
Sadly Billy choked one day while he was eating
but even in death his swearing would never die
because on his gravestone are written the words:
I EFFING KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THAT EFFING PORK PIE!
poem by Kevin Halls
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What used to be called liberal is now called radical, what used to be called radical is now called insane, what used to be called reactionary is now called moderate, and what used to be called insane is now called solid conservative thinking.
quote by Tony Kushner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Must swear off from swearing. Bad habit.
quote by Rutherford B. Hayes
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When you listen to Christian radio stations - and there are thousands of them now in the United States - and when you listen to Christian television networks - and there are thousands of Christian television shows across the country - they are all politically right.
quote by Tony Campolo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr Tony Hopkins says he's willing to do it if he likes the script.
quote by Dino De Laurentiis
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There's one great script that hit my desk that I didn't change at all, and that was True Romance.
quote by Tony Scott
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The 15:17 to Paris
Judy Greer, Jenna Fischer, Bryce Gheisar, Thomas Lennon, Jaleel White, Tony Hale, P.J. Byrne, Sinqua Walls
from The 15:17 to Paris (2018)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Frustrating Seconds
These seconds of time that seem so small
really are not that small at all.
They continuously add up to a minute.
Sixty seconds later and all that's within it
is larger as they pass.
And then they add up to an hour.
Now those seconds have more power.
They move along and soon there'll be
another day gone from you with me.
Seconds, minutes, hours and days
have grown so long in heartfelt ways.
They leave me wondering just how long
these drawn out seconds did me wrong?
I'd love to bundle them up real tight
and little by little squeeze them at night.
And when the dawn is here again
remember all of them and say Amen.
I do not wish my life away.
I just want those seconds to go their way.
Let them add up for another fool.
For these seconds for me are much too cruel.
I don't need seconds, minutes or hours
to remind me of eternity.
I will not count the time anymore
for all it contains is the misery
of being away from you.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.
Seconds To Fall
Well it took years to climb that hill
And now we look up to the mountains
As high as you might climb there still
Something we should not forget
It takes seconds to fall
Seconds to fall
Could happen that you can scratch the clouds
Could happen that you come tumbling down
Could be you find yourself at the top of the stairs
Could be youre just another clown
It takes seconds to fall, yeah
Seconds to fall
Seconds to fall, oh yeah
At the top of the stairs, nobody cares
What has been, or what will come
I dont want to preach, no Im not the one
But you better hear me call
It takes seconds to fall, yeah
Seconds to fall
Seconds to fall
Seconds to fall
song performed by by Fury In The Slaughterhouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are times over different projects when I've asked the writers why people are swearing for no good reason. I tell them that it would be funnier if there weren't these swear words.
quote by John Ratzenberger
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I only sound intelligent when there's a good script writer around.
quote by Christian Bale
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I wrote the script of Patton. I had this very bizarre opening where he stands up in front of an American flag and gives this speech. Ultimately, I was fired. When the script was done, they hired another writer and that script was forgotten.
quote by Francis Ford Coppola
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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