And then they sign an affidavit swearing that she's not in a vegetative stage. I'll tell you. That's a doctor you really want; they can look at a picture and make a diagnosis.
quote by Michael Schiavo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Patient, Thou speak’st only the truth
The truth, he speaks, the patient, sick when he's,
'Tis rare for him to tell a pack of lies;
If not, the Diagnosis will go amiss,
The patient knows all this if he is wise.
How can the Doctor know the malady,
Without the patient telling his Symptom?
Diagnosis must precede the Remedy,
A commodity, Health's bought but seldom.
0 patient, Thou better speak truth alone!
The Doctor is no real Demi-God;
Help him help thee, 'fore thy family shall moan;
If thou art ill, Doctor is next to God.
Diseases can dupe the best of Doctors,
A bad history can turn into thine hearse.
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When you're the spokeswoman for a weight-loss program, everything is witnessed. I weigh in once a week with a witness. I have to sign an affidavit saying I cannot have any surgeries.
quote by Kirstie Alley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hospice means end-of-life care. The admission ticket is a diagnosis from a doctor that you have six months or less to live.
quote by Eleanor Clift
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet- Don’t Blame The Doctor, Please!
When life departs from someone very young,
When doctor can’t prevent its departure,
When complications have already sprung,
In empathy, he enters by nature.
What can a doctor do if things go wrong?
What can he do when his good work’s undone?
What can he do ‘gainst heavy odds for long?
Just frustration will be his morrow’s dawn.
How sad it is to see not much progress?
How sad it is to miss a diagnosis?
How sad it is when saving chances become less?
What can he do if bad’s the prognosis?
The best of treatment sometimes never works,
As death behind the patient always lurks!
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A lot of people asked me if it was frustrating not having a clear specific diagnosis, but I didn't mind, I just chose the most optimistic diagnosis.
quote by Karen Duffy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor, Doctor
Doctor, theres something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet
My eyesights getting dimmer, I cant see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, Im glad,
Ive got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today Ive got the mumps
And tomorrow Ill catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And Im shrinking last week I was five foot four
Ive been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
Its about to pick on me, Ive still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox Id get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think its time that I made out my will?
Ill leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts dont tell me, Im too ill.
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Doctor
I cant hold you baby
I been thinking
I cant hold you
Another sign above
Doctor, doctor
Tell me what to do
I got heartbreak in my pocket
I got sunlight next to you
Doctor, doctor
Will the difference be adjourned
Could I help em only standing
Could I be the one to do
Doctor, doctor
What ? ? ? you
I been round by the river land
Where the sun burns burns bold and
All he ever [track skips] next to you
[music fades out, then back in]
Any wanna gonna man of wanna buy a taking you down
I was thinking of you
Round about wanna gonna say
Any other bonna down a on ya all the time that you wanted
I was all in the grave...i was down the ground
Put another [gets cut off]
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Remembrances of our family doctor
Our family doctor was Dr.Panickar,
T.N.Ramakrishna Panickar,
His diagnosis used to be sharper;
He used to do a few laboratory tests then and there,
He was an expert in treating us for ever;
He used to treat free for the poor,
He used to convince and comfort us whomsoever;
He mostly dispensed us tablets and mixtures,
He never sent us to cities and referred
rarely to higher centres;
He charged his fees only very meagre,
Disease for which we approached him used to disappear;
Remembrances of our family doctor
who was our savior
remain in our mind for ever!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Contract In Love
written by Lamont Dozier, Janie Bradford, & Brian Holland
(c) 1962 Jobete Music Co., Inc. (ASCAP)
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign it
Sign it
Sign it
Sign it
You say you love me
And I believe it's true
But before I let myself go
Here's what you've got to do
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
You've got to sign
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
My contract on love
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Write it in your heart
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
That you'll never do anything
To ever make us part
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
Yeah, I know it may seem strange to you
Yeah, but I've lost a love so many times before
Yeah, and now that I know the score
No one's gonna hurt me no more
And I'm takin' all my chances with romances
Yeah
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
So just sign
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Right here on this dotted line
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Where it says you'll be mine, all mine
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Until the end of time
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
So come on, come on, come on, and
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, right here on this line
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Yeah
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign my contract on love
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
FADE
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sue Me, Sue You Blues
You serve me
And Ill serve you
Swing your partners, all get screwed
Bring your lawyer
And Ill bring mine
Get together, and we could have
A bad time
Its affidavit swearing time
Sign it on the dotted line
Hold your Bible in your hand
Now all thats left is to
Find yourself a new band . . .
Were gonna play the sue me, sue
You blues
Were gonna play the sue me, sue
You blues
Hold the block on money flow
Move it into joint escrow
Court receiver, laughs, and thrills
But in the end we just pay those
Lawyers theit bills
When you serve me
And I serve you
Swing your partners, all get screwed
Bring your lawyer
And Ill bring mine
Get together, and we could have
A bad time
Were gonna play the sue me, sue
You blues
Im tired of playing the
Sue me, sue you blues
song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Turning Japanese
Ive got your picture
Of me and you
You wrote, I love you.
I love you, too
I sit there staring when theres nothing else to do
Oh, its in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I often kiss you when theres no one else around
Ive got your picture, got your picture
Id like a million of em over myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
Youve got me turning up, Im turning down, Im turning in, and Im turning round
Im turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Ive got your picture, Ive got your picture
Id like a million of them over myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
Youve got me turning up, Im turning down, Im turning in, and Im turning round
Im turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder its dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
Everyone
Thats why Im turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
(think so, think so, think so)
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
Turning japanese, I think Im turning japanese, I really think so
(think so, think so, think so...)
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Xxx's And Ooo's (An American Girl)
Phone rings baby cries TV diet guru lies
Good mornin' honey
Go to work make up try to keep the balance up
Between love and money
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her Momma in heels and pearls
She's trying to make in her Daddy's world
An American girl
An American girl
Slow dance second chance Momma needs romance
And a live in maid
Fix the sink, mow the yard, really isn't all that hard
If you get paid
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her Momma in heels and pearls
She's trying to make in her Daddy's world
An American girl
An American girl
Well she's got her God and she's got good wine
Aretha Franklin and Patsy Cline
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her Momma in heels and pearls
She's gonna make it in her Daddy's world
An American girl
An American girl
song performed by by Trisha Yearwood
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Xxx's And Ooo's (An American Girl)
Phone rings baby cries TV diet guru lies
Good mornin' honey
Go to work make up try to keep the balance up
Between love and money
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her Momma in heels and pearls
She's trying to make in her Daddy's world
An American girl
An American girl
Slow dance second chance Momma needs romance
And a live in maid
Fix the sink, mow the yard, really isn't all that hard
If you get paid
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her Momma in heels and pearls
She's trying to make in her Daddy's world
An American girl
An American girl
Well she's got her God and she's got good wine
Aretha Franklin and Patsy Cline
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her Momma in heels and pearls
She's gonna make it in her Daddy's world
An American girl
An American girl
song performed by by Trisha Yearwood
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pat's Criticism
There's a story that's old,
But good if twice told,
Of a doctor of limited skill,
Who cured beast and man
On the " cold-water plan,"
Without the small help of a pill.
On his portal of pine
Hung an elegant sign,
Depicting a beautiful rill,
And a lake where a sprite,
With apparent delight,
Was sporting in sweet dishabille.
Pat McCarty one day,
As he sauntered that way,
Stood and gazed at that portal of pine;
When the doctor with pride
Stepped up to his side,
Saying, "Pat, how is that for a sign ? "
"There's wan thing," says Pat,
"Ye've lift out o' that,
Which, be jabers! is quoite a mistake:
It's trim, and it's nate;
But, to make it complate,
Ye shud have a foine burd on the lake."
"All! indeed! pray, then, tell,
To make it look well,
What bird do you think it may lack?"
Says Pat, "Of the same
I've forgotten the name,
But the song that he sings is 'Quack - quack!'"
poem by Charles Follen Adams from Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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XXX's And OOO's
(written by Matraca Berg, Alice Randall)
Phone rings baby cries TV diet guru lies
Good morning honey
Go to work make up try to keep the balance up
Between love and money
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her mama in heels and pearls
She's tryin' to make it in her daddy's world
She's an American girl
An American girl
Slow dance second chance mama needs romance
And an live-in maid
Fix the sink mow the yard really isn't all that hard
If you get paidS
he used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her mama in heels and pearls
She's tryin' to make it in her daddy's world
She's an American girl
An American girl
Well she's got her God and she's got good wine
Aretha Franklin and Patsy Cline
She used to tie her hair up in ribbons and bows
Sign her letters with X's and O's
Got a picture of her mama in heels and pearls
She's tryin' to make it in her daddy's world
She's an American girl
An American girl
She's an American girl
song performed by by Trisha Yearwood
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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