There was an old granny named Flo
she came down with gangrene on her toe,
so she went to the dentist
who was known as adventist
and he said 'it's a tooth for a toe.'
quote by by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Related quotes
Crocodile's Toothache
Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A dentist's assistant named Jule
saw a blister appear on his tool.
Said the dentist 'don't fret
it's the girl that you met
from the Queensland Venereal School.'
quote by by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Eye 4 An Eye (Silencer Mix)
Even now in heaven
There were angels carrying savage weapons
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
Is that room been fit to earth?
Doesn't help the ??? to grow sunshine?
Is this darkness all you'll take?
Have you'd passed through this life?
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide...(hide, hide...)
Where you're going you're not coming back from
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide...(hide, hide...)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
This grain evil
Where is it come from?
Had still the end of the world?
Who's doing this?
Who's killed us?
Marking us with the sign of the holy mighty man
Run, run, run...(run, run...)
Run, run, run...(run, run...)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
(An eye for an eye...)
Are you righteous?
(A tooth for a tooth...)
Kind?
(Run, run, run but you sure can't hide...)
Does your confidence lie in this?
(An eye for an
song performed by by Unkle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)
Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.
One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.
Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.
Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”
As we approached, a corner
there was a church on the other side.
“Why don’t you nip in there for a quick pray
that the dentist doesn’t come back? ”
She thumped me I wonder why.
As we walked back to the surgery I assured her,
that everything was going to be OK.
They calm you as soon as you walk in.
She looked at me suspiciously and asked how?
They have a big mallet just above the door
and bop you on the head as you walk in.
Your teeth fall out in the process
and the job is done.
Now I wonder why she has never asked me
to go to the dentist with her again.
1 April 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Little Old Lady From Pasadena
Its the little old lady from pasadena
Its the little old lady from pasadena
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
Got a pretty little flower bed of white gardenias
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
But parked in her rickety old garage
Is a brand new shiny red super-stock dodge
And everybodys saying theres nobody meaner
Than the little old lady from pasadena
She drives real fast and she drives real hard
Shes a terror out on colorado boulevard
Its the little old lady from pasadena
You can see her on the street just gettin her kicks now
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
With her four speed stick and her four-twenty-six now
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
Shes gonna get a ticket now sooner or later
cause she cant keep her foot off the accelerator
And everybodys saying theres nobody meaner
Than the little old lady from pasadena
She drives real fast and she drives real hard
Shes a terror out on colorado boulevard
And everybodys saying theres nobody meaner
Than the little old lady from pasadena
She drives real fast and she drives real hard
Shes a terror out on coloradooulevard
Its the little old lady from pasadena
If you see her on the street dont try to choose her
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
You may have a goer but youll never lose her
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
The guys come to race her from miles around
But shell them a length and shell shut em down
And everybodys saying theres nobody meaner
Than the little old lady from pasadena
She drives real fast and she drives real hard
Shes a terror out on colorado boulevard
Its the little old lady from pasadena
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
Granny go
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
Granny go
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
Granny go
Go granny, go granny, go granny go
Granny go
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Granny dreamt what Granny liked
she thought she was in some kind of Paris
some kind of Venice or a Granade
but OMG this poor Granny
was walking in a dying beauty shade
still Granny dreamt what Granny liked
and there she wore the clothes so smarty
a lot of make up and accessoir
and there she went to a botox party
she took a cab it was too far
'coz Granny dreamt what Granny liked
this absent minded little resident
with shoes expensive but mind in rags
granny voted all smiling presidents
i guess for too many colourful flags
'coz Granny dreamt what Granny liked
she had fruits to chew and meat to mince
a lover's smile and artficial teeth
preserved for her fairy tale prince
who'll take her to see a coral reef
'coz Granny dreamt what Granny liked
look at the beauty in latest outfit
listen to Granny sing hit of hits
psychology biology re-mix released
if you wanna know what it's all about
get ready for an elderly feast
and follow the Granny leave all doubt
in a dream extreme or so it seems
'coz Granny dreams what Granny likes
(no charge no blame if you do the same
I only wonder why you'd been told
it's not ok to be old...
let Granny dream what Granny likes)
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Look At Granny Run Run
Look at granny run, run, and grandpa runnin close behind.
Look at granny run, run, theres something on grand-daddys mind.
He went to the doctor, got a brand new pill.
The doctor said, son, you aint over the hill.
Now he cant sit still.
Great, gosh, almighty, wont you ...
Look at granny go, go, faster than a greyhound bus.
Look at granny go, go, now grandpa gettin serious.
But he woke up in the middle of the night.
Said, lookie here baby, everythings alright.
It was such a fright.
Great, gosh, almighty, wont you ...
Look at granny run, run ...
Look at granny run, run, and grandpa gettin closer now.
No matter how she run, run, he gonna catch her anyhow.
He said, mama, quit your caryin on.
All I wants a little love before I am gone.
Aint nothin wrong.
Great, gosh, almighty, wont you ...
Look at granny run, run.
Look at granny run, run.
Yeah ...
Look at granny run, run.
Yeah ...
Look at granny run, run.
Yeah ...
Look at granny run, run.
Yeah ...
Look at granny run, run.
(to fade ...)
song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Expert Dentist Dr Joseph
There is a dentist on Palm Beach,
who really knows how to fix your teeth.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph is his name,
your teeth will never be the same,
because 'Expert Dentistry' is his game.
His Star treatment makes you feel grand,
when his office picks you up in a limousine not a van,
driving you to his dentist office by ocean and sand.
Photos of Dr. Josephs, family and staff I did take,
to display past patients smiles real great.
By promoting his business in Palm Beach Today.
showing how he can prevent tooth decay.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph also is a generous soul,
he gave me a big tip at the Italian Bistro.
Just one more thing you should know,
he is an expert so listen his “Tooth Talk” radio show.
Written on Feb.16th 2011 by Christina Sunrise
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Granny Krendoll Brings Star To Life
Granny Krendoll with her sewing flair
sews Star doll and yarns her hair.
Granny Krendoll makes Star into a small doll
once Star is alive the two have a ball.
Star writes Granny Krendoll once in awhile
she likes writing her letters that make her smile.
Then Granny Krendoll does get sick
she is sent to Krendoll hospital to recover quick.
Star had to make sure Granny Krendoll was alright
in fact Granny Krendoll told the nurse, where is Star tonight?
Right then Star with Melodie soon arrived
to sit by friend Granny Krendoll's dear old side.
Now Granny Krendoll gets healthy and recovers real soon
she enjoys sewing new dolls and her new life too.
Thank you Granny Krendoll for raising the bar
if it wasn't for you, the world would not have Star.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on February 14,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Boomin' Granny
Yea..
Ah yea...
Agh yea this one's dedicated to all
the ladies in the front , the back
All the older ladies out there
lookin' nice, you know who you are
whoo...
I need you, boomin' granny
I said I want you, boomin' granny
Boomin' granny, boomin' granny
Boomin' granny, good and plenty
Well it might sound odd, it might sound corny
But here's some sex rhymes for those that are horny
For your boomin' granny with the boomin' system
Said I love ya won't leave ya so you got to listen
See I'm talkin' about the way that I'm feeling
You're so lovely lengthy and so appealing
A sassy sophisticated sexy lady
Well I'm 26 and you're 80
The clock is ticking so you better not front
We can go downtown and we could smoke some blunt
Well you're a lovely girlgolden girl, just like Bea Arthur
Just turn down the lights so we can go farther
Boomin' granny, boomin' granny
Boomin' granny, good and plenty
Because I saw ya at the check out line
You dropped your coupons and you were looking fine
Sophisticated, and so mature
I couldn't really care if you're 50 or 74
Because I want ya, and I need ya
Hey boomin' granny you could be my teacher
And I could be your pet, bet
Listen old lady I'm gonna make ya sweat!
I know I'm younger, and your much older
You look so nice on my Chevy Nova
I'm gonna take her to the low rider show, and flaunt ya
I gotta tell ya lady I said I want ya, boomin' granny
Because I need you boomin' granny
Boomin' granny, boomin' fanny
Boomin' granny, good and plenty
song performed by by Beastie Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Expert Dentist Dr Joseph
There is a dentist on Palm Beach,
who really knows how to fix your teeth.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph is his name,
your teeth will never be the same,
because 'Expert Dentistry' is his game.
His Star treatment makes you feel grand,
when his office picks you up in a limousine not a van,
driving you to his dentist office by ocean and sand.
Photos of Dr. Josephs, family and staff I did take,
to display past patients smiles real great.
By promoting his business in Palm Beach Today.
showing how he can prevent tooth decay.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph also is a generous soul,
he gave me a big tip at the Italian Bistro.
Just one more thing you should know,
he is an expert so listen his “Tooth Talk” radio show.
Written on Feb.16th 2011 by Christina Sunrise
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Granny Krendoll Brings Star To Life
Granny Krendoll with her sewing flair
sews Star doll and yarns her hair.
Granny Krendoll makes Star into a small doll
once Star is alive the two have a ball.
Star writes Granny Krendoll once in awhile
she likes writing her letters that make her smile.
Then Granny Krendoll does get sick
she is sent to Krendoll hospital to recover quick.
Star had to make sure Granny Krendoll was alright
in fact Granny Krendoll told the nurse, where is Star tonight?
Right then Star with Melodie soon arrived
to sit by friend Granny Krendoll's dear old side.
Now Granny Krendoll gets healthy and recovers real soon
she enjoys sewing new dolls and her new life too.
Thank you Granny Krendoll for raising the bar
if it wasn't for you, the world would not have Star.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on February 14,2012
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Faced with the choice of enduring a bad toothache or going to the dentist, we generally tried to ride out the bad tooth.
quote by Joseph Barbera
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Granny Used to Smoke
Granny used to smoke,
She had her special cigarette.
Granny used to smoke,
She had her special style to.
Granny used to smoke,
She used to send me to shop.
Granny used to smoke.
She used to smoke this way:
Putting the glowing side,
Inside her mouth cavity,
And hers is to release,
Trains of smoke!
poem by Buyunde Acura Sylivester
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tooth And Nail
I'm tired of all this cheap talk
When you walk next to me
They say I ain't good enough for you
Why don't they come and tell me
When they see us out in the night
They can't wait to tear us apart
Now I hear them saying lovin' you ain't right
Well they'd better be ready 'cause honey I'll be there
I will fight tooth and nail
Count on me, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
They say I'm always breaking promises
And I'm just fooling with you
Then they try and come between the two of us
Man, that's a bad thing to do
I can say I had more than enough
But I ain't gonna take it too hard
I said hey, they want to play rough
Well let's see who backs down when the trouble starts
I will fight tooth and nail
Count on me, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
Come on try me, I won't give in
They take advantage, but they can't win
I'll be your man, baby, wait and see
Ain't nobody, nobody take your love from me
I will fight tooth and nail
I was wrong, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
I'll be your man, baby, wait and see
Ain't nobody, nowhere take your love away from me
I will fight tooth and nail
Count on me, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
Right now, tooth and nail
I am waiting for the fight
Tooth and nail
Right now, c'mon, tooth and nail
Right now, tooth and nail
C'mon, tooth and nail
Ah fight
Tooth and nail
Right now, c'mon, tooth and nail
C'mon, right now, tooth and nail
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There once was a dentist from Pilling,
Supposedly not a 'full shilling, '
But he'd drill your tooth out
And if none was about
He would craftily swipe your gold filling.
(Written Feb 1995)
quote by by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Orang-Utan
A large ape disappeared from a Zoo
And he has been to one of his friends a former retired politician.
He complains his friend that he wants to extract a tooth.
They went to a dentist and extracted the tooth.
Then the ape said 'I want to see an ophthalmologist.'
On the way the politician said' Don't spend so much money and I have my old spectacles which I used for my whole political career.'
'Better buy a new one that is much corrupted.' Ape replied angrily.
I dedicate this poem to Mr.Nadarajah.Raviraj a popular Sri Lankan/Tamil politician and his bodyguard who were Assassinated in the broad daylight today by unidentified gunmen. The Government has already called the Scotland Yard Police for the Investigation.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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seeing the dentist’s bill
patient with tooth-ache
develops heart-ache
quote by by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Just My Luck (Fun Poem 73)
I went to the dentist
for the first time in twenty years.
Sat in the waiting room
waiting to get my call.
Finally, it came
and I reluctantly went in,
hand shaking and nervous as can be
and was surprised to find
the dentist looked
like she had just walked out of the centrefold
of a Playboy magazine.
She was blonde
and dropp dead gorgeous.
Instead of a man looking like,
he had just walked out of a rugby scrum.
Trust little old me to gets this beauty.
I sat in the chair
took out my false teeth
knowing she wouldn’t want to see them
and opened my mouth wider
so she could have a peek inside.
“I’m going to have to take an X-ray at those.”
“No problem.” I replied.
After the X-rays were taken,
she asked me what pills I was on.
“The one you put in your shoe to make you go limp.”
I replied jokingly.
Sadly she didn’t get the joke I’m afraid.
However, because of the pills, I was on
and the way the tooth
was embedded in my gum.
I have to go to the hospital
to have the darn thing out.
Just my luck.
Here I get the prettiest dentist
to fool around with my teeth
and she then refers me to the hospital.
Doesn’t that just take the cake.
Just my luck.
There is a small consolation when I go.
They will knock me out
and I won’t see who is pulling out my teeth.
25 April 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Look At Granny Run Run
(j. ragovoy/m. shuman)
Said, look at granny run, run
Grandpa runnin close behind.
Look at granny run, run, ah... theres something on grand-daddys mind.
Because he went to the doctor, got a brand new pill.
The doctor said, son, you aint over the hill.
He cant sit still.
Great, gosh, almighty, wont you...
Look at granny run, run, faster than a greyhound bus. [granny, you better run]
Look at granny run, run, now grandpa is gettin serious. [somebodys calling you]
Well, he woke up in the middle of the night.
Said, look-a here baby, everythings alright.
It was such a sight
Great, gosh, almighty, wont ya...
Well, look at granny run, run
Grandpa runnin closer now.
No matter how she run, run, he gonna catch her anyhow.
Well, he jumped up and he began to shout
Granny come a-running with the mouth poked out
Said, look here, pretty mama, stop your carrying on
All I wants a little loving just before Im gone
Aint nothing wrong
Hear my lord, singing
Great, gosh, almighty
[you better run]
[somebodys calling you]
Look at granny run, run.
Well, I feel like my time aint [long], time aint [long] time aint [long]
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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