En.Citatepedia^®.ro

Orang-Utan

A large ape disappeared from a Zoo
And he has been to one of his friends a former retired politician.
He complains his friend that he wants to extract a tooth.
They went to a dentist and extracted the tooth.
Then the ape said 'I want to see an ophthalmologist.'
On the way the politician said' Don't spend so much money and I have my old spectacles which I used for my whole political career.'
'Better buy a new one that is much corrupted.' Ape replied angrily.

I dedicate this poem to Mr.Nadarajah.Raviraj a popular Sri Lankan/Tamil politician and his bodyguard who were Assassinated in the broad daylight today by unidentified gunmen. The Government has already called the Scotland Yard Police for the Investigation.

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Politician’s Plane crash-land in Wonderland

The plane landed in an emergency.
The politician was surprised in the air port as lot of women with garlands greeted him.
A woman said “You are the first delegate politician who visited our country.”
“Really is it? How do you know I was in the plane? ” He replied.
“Our radar says when a corrupted human being lands to our country.”
He was taken to Quarantine and found positive to HIV virus.
In wonderland there is a remedy for the infection and they gave an injection the patient forgets his past.
He was surprised by seeing this magical country.
The citizen is very happy and there are no jails, Courts, Police, Armed forces, sick people and all are well off.
For the first time in Wonderland’s history they made a special jail for this politician and he was sentenced to jail lifetime.

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A politician is a man who understands government. A statesman is a politician who's been dead for 15 years.

quote by Harry S. Truman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eye 4 An Eye (Silencer Mix)

Even now in heaven
There were angels carrying savage weapons
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
Is that room been fit to earth?
Doesn't help the ??? to grow sunshine?
Is this darkness all you'll take?
Have you'd passed through this life?
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide...(hide, hide...)
Where you're going you're not coming back from
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide...(hide, hide...)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
This grain evil
Where is it come from?
Had still the end of the world?
Who's doing this?
Who's killed us?
Marking us with the sign of the holy mighty man
Run, run, run...(run, run...)
Run, run, run...(run, run...)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run, but you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
An eye for an eye...(for an eye...)
A tooth for a tooth...(for a tooth...)
Run, run, run,
But you sure can't hide...(hide...hide)
(An eye for an eye...)
Are you righteous?
(A tooth for a tooth...)
Kind?
(Run, run, run but you sure can't hide...)
Does your confidence lie in this?
(An eye for an

song performed by by Unkle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Space odyssey

The politician is one of the candidates
who was short listed for the spacecraft.
He insisted on his henchman accompanying him.
'I am not qualified Sir' henchman replied.
'Your political knowledge is more than enough,
do not worry I'll do arrangements and you get ready'
Politician assured.
The following day henchman explained the matter to his wife.
She was angry and said 'I don't mind wherever you go
but before you leave buy all these things for me'.
She gave a long list and the things available only in the moon.

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Insomnia

The old retired psychiatrist
Professor 'Euphoria' who awakes in the middle of the night.
Nowadays he was copying Idioms.
He complains of an acute pain in his body.
But he is not aware of the exact place.
He visits a young dentist Dr.So-Called
and forced him to extract his cavity tooth?
He did a thorough check and found it was a denture.
Then he said 'Nothing wrong with your teeth
anyhow I'll refer you to the prominent psychiatrist Professor Euphoria?
I have heard about him and his talents
from my patients'.

To poet Martin.Turner

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Am No Politician

I am no politician.
I am direct.
Every blemish and flaw I have,
I accept without regret.
I am not trying to win your approval
To represent your requests.
Nor will I disappoint you...
With deceit to later confess.

I am no politician.
Seeking a way to line my pockets.
I find that disgusting!
And I observe those who can not stop it!
Your quality of life...
With standards you behold.
Isn't my fault at all!
That your best interests,
They have sold!

You selected them to dismiss me.
To keep me and mine in check!
You elected them to suppress my dignity.
To keep my indentity distressed.
You chose them to divide and conquer.
By rules and laws
They clearly defied...
You now regret!
Why me...
You despise?

I am no politician!
My priorities are my happiness.
Not to masquerade with pretentions...
For purposes to make promises,
With intentions to forget.

I am no politician...
To trap you like prey.
And dangle you to capture...
As I make arrangements with others,
To take away the safety from your nests.
To portray in false charades.

I am no politician.
So voice your anger,
To those you believed...
Would come to your aid.
While on your knees you plead.

I am no politician!
I sleep at night.
In peace and at rest!

I am no politician...
Nor a hypocrite you will find,
Who will say something other
Than what is on my mind!

You can bet,
With respect...
I am direct.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Purgatory

They are in queer,
A thief, doctor, murderer, king & queen, liar,
politician and etc.,
A soldier is questioning them about their past sins
before they enter the two pathways.
One is to heaven and the other to hell.
'I theft a bible' thief replied.
'then you can go to the right path'
'I did hundred abortions' doctor said.
'turn to left'
'we did adultery' king and queen replied.
'left please'
'I killed a politician' murderer said.
'right ahead and the liar can go back.
'before you go to the left path visit the pathologist for an aid test'
soldier shouted to the politician.

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The reality is an indispensable start for the skilful politician. The awkward politician turns it into a terminus.

aphorism by Hasier Agirre, translated by Dan Costinaş
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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No man can be a politician, except he be first a historian or a traveller; for except he can see what must be, or what may be, he is no politician.

quote by James Harrington
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crocodile's Toothache

Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?

poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Politician

Chorus
Mr. politician please dont deceive us.
Mr. politician youre there to relieve us.
Just how can we tell, mister,
When to believe in you.
Oh wont you tell me oh who were lookin out for?
Mr. politician could be perfect but people its doubtful.
We want a leader wholl fight for the people.
We want somebody to take us to the steeple.
Wed like to point him out to you people,
But dont look now.
Chorus
We want a leader of the people,
We want him honest, not deceitful.
We want an angel in the public eye,
And we wont give it up lord until we die.
Chorus

song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Tightwad Tooth Fairy Called Griselda

There was a tightwad tooth fairy
and Griselda was her name.
When you had your teeth out
and put them under the pillow
she would come along and pinch them
and leave nothing in return.
You would wake up in the morning;
look under your pillow for some dosh,
but under your pillow was empty there.
As you looked at the empty space,
you knew straight away
that Griselda the tightwad tooth fairy
had been about.
Complaints followed complaints
to fairly land
about this tightwad tooth fairy.
The fairy council
had never heard of such a thing.
A tightwad tooth fairy.
Oh, this could never be.
They had never had a case
of a tooth fairy leaving no money.
Something had to be done.
Griselda was called
and stood before the council
and asked to explain why
she was a tightwad
and left no money behind.
The miserly tooth fairy
thought for a moment.
She was saving some money
to buy herself a fairy yacht,
only it took a lot of teeth
to purchase one of them.
For her crimes,
she was sent to work with Santa’s Elves.
She sits in the toy factory
banging happily away,
because if the truth were known
she didn’t want to be a tooth fairy anyway.

5 May 2008

poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tooth And Nail

I'm tired of all this cheap talk
When you walk next to me
They say I ain't good enough for you
Why don't they come and tell me
When they see us out in the night
They can't wait to tear us apart
Now I hear them saying lovin' you ain't right
Well they'd better be ready 'cause honey I'll be there
I will fight tooth and nail
Count on me, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
They say I'm always breaking promises
And I'm just fooling with you
Then they try and come between the two of us
Man, that's a bad thing to do
I can say I had more than enough
But I ain't gonna take it too hard
I said hey, they want to play rough
Well let's see who backs down when the trouble starts
I will fight tooth and nail
Count on me, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
Come on try me, I won't give in
They take advantage, but they can't win
I'll be your man, baby, wait and see
Ain't nobody, nobody take your love from me
I will fight tooth and nail
I was wrong, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
I'll be your man, baby, wait and see
Ain't nobody, nowhere take your love away from me
I will fight tooth and nail
Count on me, I will not fail you
I will fight tooth and nail
Right now, tooth and nail
I am waiting for the fight
Tooth and nail
Right now, c'mon, tooth and nail
Right now, tooth and nail
C'mon, tooth and nail
Ah fight
Tooth and nail
Right now, c'mon, tooth and nail
C'mon, right now, tooth and nail

song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Epitah on the Politician Himself

Here richly, with ridiculous display,
The Politician's corpse was laid away.
While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged
I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.

Another on the Same

This, the last ornament among the peers,
Bribed, bullied, swindled and blackmailed for years:
But Death's what even Politicians fail
To bribe or swindle, bully or blackmail.

On Another Politician

The Politician, dead and turned to clay,
Will make a clout to keep the wind away.
I am not fond of draughts, and yet I doubt
If I could get myself to touch that clout.

On Yet Another

Fame to her darling Shifter glory gives;
And Shifter is immortal while he lives.

Epitah Upon Himself

Lauda tu Ilarion audacem et splendidum,
Who was always beginning things and never ended 'em.

poem by Hilaire Belloc
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Common Soldier & the Politician

In times of problems and peril
The politician comes wagging his tail
Praying the soldier would bail him out
And he does so without fail.

Once the peril is over
Lives are lost and medals won
The widow is patted on her back
And the politician's job is done

Then starts the silent battle
Then starts the difficult fight
The soldier's family lives on unsung
Through the lonely night

The politician spends a charmed life
And on his dying day
People who forgot men of steel
Applaud the man of clay

I wonder if there'd be wars
If politicians had to lead the charge
If our ministers became the soldiers
And the PM became the Sarge

Kishore Asthana

poem by Kishore Asthana
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I have run large organizations, I know what it takes to create a healthy business climate, and I have more experience than Jerry Brown doing that. So it'll be a stark contrast, a career politician vs. someone who has met a payroll, gotten a return on investment, knows how to use technology to do more with less.

quote by Meg Whitman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm not a career politician. I spent 30 years in business. I can tell you that people in California have had it with career politicians: they are done.

quote by Meg Whitman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Filipino Politician

When he finds his wife in bed with another man--

The conservative politician feels an ache in his stomach,
remembers the longanisa and the tapa he had for breakfast.
He doesn't know whether to get the doctor or Cardinal Sin
on the phone. He calls one of his bodyguards, tells him
to shoot the man and then, his wife. He takes his .38 magnum
from his brief case, shoots his bodyguard in the back.

The liberal politician pours himself a glass of Courvoisier,
remembers a passage from an Anais Nin story.
He is suddenly the one they call the Basque. He removes
his Dior tie, his Armani shirt, his Calvin Klein boxer shorts.
He puts on a black beret, whispers, tres jolie, tres jolie,
que bonito, muy grande my petite amore. He joins them
in bed, begins his caresses on the man's calves,
kisses his way up the man's thighs.

The communist politician does not call his wife a puta,
nor does he challenge the man to a duel with balisong knives.
He stays calm, takes out a book of poems by Mao Tse Tung.
Inspired, he decides to advance the Revolution.
He takes a taxi to Roxas Boulevard, he begins to curse
and throw rocks at the American Embassy.

poem by Nick Carbo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Anti-establishment Man

Standing by the roadside
Old newspaper in my hand.
Reading yesterdays headlines,
Nothing new, I said its all the same.
Everywhere!
Im the fool of the year and Ive been waiting
Twenty five years of anticipating
Ive seen changes in my land
People Im here to tell you,
Ive been around since the world began.
Well, mr. politician, reform me if you can,
Im an anti-establishment man.
Im tired of your treating
All of my children the same.
Everywhere!
Spending all that money
On a stupid war in vietnam
(when we need it at home)
People Im here to tell you,
I think its bout time that the world began (all over!)
Well, mr. politician, reform me if you can,
Im an anti-establishment man.

song performed by by Reo Speedwagon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Richie Rich Buys Your Repossessed Houses

beware the politician who says
he won't let your salaries be raised
because it would cause inflation

any real politician worth his salt would know
when millions are having houses repossessed
due to unemployment no salary no food it blows

desperate times need desperate aid measures
we should all hate politicians who demand
we citizens must all tighten our poor belts

while government exempt votes themselves hot pay raises
buys up cheap white hot property belonging to citizens
richie rich buys repossessed houses at cut throat prices

poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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