Steaming broccoli soup,
Roasted garlic, chopped green chives;
Slurp, slurp, burp, burp, burp…
haiku by Mamta Agarwal
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Learning
I'm learning to say thank you.
And I'm learning to say please.
And I'm learning to use Kleenex,
Not my sweater, when I sneeze.
And I'm learning not to dribble.
And I'm learning not to slurp.
And I'm learning (though it sometimes really hurts me)
Not to burp.
And I'm learning to chew softer
When I eat corn on the cob.
And I'm learning that it's much
Much easier to be a slob.
poem by Judith Viorst
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Gargoyles
Pet gargoyles grunt and snore and cough,
But sadly you can't turn them off!
The belch and wheeze and sneeze and spit,
I cannot bear the thought of it!
They slurp and burp, they howl and growl,
They moan and groan; they smell so foul!
Gargoyles gargle, and pass lots of gas,
Their gas it smells like sassafras!
If you get a gargoyle have no fear...
From their FARTS you can make root-beer!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
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On Eating....
the best way to eat, and healthful at that
is to chew what small food is there,
savor the taste of every molecule,
and swallow bit by bit like pulps of orange
sound a bit, of this ahh and ohhhs
and say over and over, oh this is great
let them all hear the slurp and your burp
and don't mind what the other people on the
other table say
like you you are paying too
the price of honest and candid living
has taken the share of shame and glory
had been full and shall be filled again
moment by moment, piece by piece,
molecule by molecule,
on such an atomic existence,
till the next nuclear burst.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Great Mission
The jungle near manaus
The amazonas full of piranhas
The birds of paradise
Disappear into the green desert
For years and years
We are hungry and desperate
For the only thing worth living
The excess
We end our great mission
Exhausted and sad
And there is no hope left
When suddenly
In a cloud of golden smog
The father of excess
Jumps out of the water of
The amazonas full of piranhas
And screams to the lost souls
What are you doing at the amazonas
Leave manaus full of piranhas [burp!]
You will not find excess in the jungle
And then
He opened the green curtain
Made of fleshy leaves and said
I show you the excess of the
Asphalt a montmartre
The excess of the belly-dance
In abu dhabi
And the excess of the everlasting night in manhattan [burp!]
Are you ready for the sensation del tango a rosario?
Leave him, the gorilla
Leave the jungle of the amazonas
Leave manaus full of piranhas
And follow father excess...
song performed by by Yello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Great Mission
The jungle near manaus
The amazonas full of piranhas
The birds of paradise
Disappear into the green desert
For years and years
We are hungry and desperate
For the only thing worth living
The excess
We end our great mission
Exhausted and sad
And there is no hope left
When suddenly
In a cloud of golden smog
The father of excess
Jumps out of the water of
The amazonas full of piranhas
And screams to the lost souls
What are you doing at the amazonas
Leave manaus full of piranhas [burp!]
You will not find excess in the jungle
And then
He opened the green curtain
Made of fleshy leaves and said
I show you the excess of the
Asphalt a montmartre
The excess of the belly-dance
In abu dhabi
And the excess of the everlasting night in manhattan [burp!]
Are you ready for the sensation del tango a rosario?
Leave him, the gorilla
Leave the jungle of the amazonas
Leave manaus full of piranhas
And follow father excess...
song performed by by Yello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I want them to listen to me for what I am saying. And I think the best way to do that is to sniff my armpits, and like, sit and burp every now and then.
quote by Michelle Rodriguez
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
quote by Bill Watterson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Cameron
What if Mr. Cameron was made of Swiss cheese?
Cleaning up wouldn’t be much of an ease.
If he was, that wouldn’t be nice.
Our homeroom would be infested with mice.
This room would be home to a family of rats,
We might start chasing them with baseball bats.
His life would be simple,
His face without a dimple,
The dimple, replaced by a hole,
Austin would use it as a soccer Goal.
Mr. Cameron would be fired,
Yet also, he would be admired.
Admired, but only by mice,
Now isn’t that nice?
It would be weird to have a dairy product as a teacher,
What an unusual edible and healthy to eat creature.
Living in a zoo,
He’ll have nothing to do,
He’s a one of a kind edible pet,
So sell him on the internet,
That’s when E-bay comes in handy.
You can eat him like candy,
Or play with him as if he was plastic,
Be careful though, he’s not so elastic.
He’s a perfect crash dummy,
Since he has nothing in his tummy.
Make him fall into a bush,
Just give him a little push.
He will start tipping,
As if he was tripping,
He won’t explode into a fireball,
But he will not like the fall.
Cheese has feelings you know.
He has no where to go.
Except maybe a hotel,
Or maybe some random motel.
That dairy product of a teacher,
Is not a farting old preacher.
But an edible piece of art,
That will touch anyone’s heart.
He cannot have soup and slurp,
And he cannot drink pop and burp
That’s because he contains no highly flammable gas.
In the end, he was vigorously consumed by the class.
How sad,
Too bad
poem by Anders Lim
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Lil’ Wayne and His Views on Marriage and Education
'First of all, I already know, men would be able to marry however many women they want. School would not be optional. It would be mandatory. Because
(never start with a ‘because)
I do not like unintelligent people – it's a pet peeve.
If you (are) dumb, (then) you (can) not (be) around me. Other than that, did I mention the men would be able to marry women?
(since when?)
Ain't (there is) no limit on that.'
My Pet Peeve is you and others like you.
I filled in all the parenthesis in order to form complete sentence
First of all, try enforcing the kid’s required attendance at school,
----A lot good it did you.
Second of all, try to learn English;
you are dumb ass, (see parentheses)
Third of all you should use birth control,
now more Lil’ Lil’ Waynes.
Did you ever graduate High School?
No.
He dropped out of school at age 14 but later earned his GED.
You indeed put Shakespeare to shame with your urbanic poetry.
If you don’t understand the meaning of this rap then you are not alone.
The first verse of Lil’ Wayne goes something like this:
Ok lil mama had a swagga like mine (go)
She even wore her hair on her back like mine (go)
I make her feel right when its wrong like lyin (go)
Man she never had a luv like mine (yo)
But man I aint never seen (go) a ass like hers (go)
Dat p$#%y in my mouth had (go) me lost for words (go)
So I told her back it up like (go) burp, burp (go)
And I made dat ass jump like jurp, jurp (hauhhhh) -2
You are such a talent! Not!
(1-2-09)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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On The Internet
Forget about it being fresh,
If it is discovered...
On the internet.
It is not as if a wrong telephone number,
Has been called and placed.
One makes and chooses to forget.
To dial another!
Today anyone can be traced...
As if face to face.
To become as close,
As a brother, sister, father or one's mother.
With a spending of more time electronically...
On a keyboard that connects...
Wherever in the world one wishes to be.
And whenever the need.
'I've felt closer to you in these past few days,
Let's get married!
We'll meet at the alter...
And exchange introductions.'
Anyone can be researched,
From birth until death.
And if someone has claimed,
Notoriety and fame...
A simple 'burp' heard while eating,
May stir the beginning of one's shame.
And if one should make a mistake,
No matter how small or insignificant it is...
Someone may decide to use it,
As a means to remember!
And never to forgive.
'You burp while eating?
I had no idea.
That's disgusting!
I thought you were more,
Than just an average human being!
Let's divorce.
We still have time to select another course.'
Forget about it being fresh,
If it is discovered...
On the internet.
As just as disposable!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Appetizers For The Day
just a slice of green raw mango
to fill my thirst
a morsel of bread to satisfy hunger
a thin slice of onion
to invigorate the eye
red hot chili for my tongue
rosemary and thyme for my smell
finally a burp for the final sound.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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A Little Something Refreashing
Yeah
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tummy
I want some
Pizza coke and ice cream
Popcorn cotton candy
Marshmallows milkshake and peanuts
Would be so great
Pies chips candy apples
Twinkies frosted flakes
Donuts french fries
And some chocolate cake with mustard
Cookies avocados pancakes
Pineapple juice
Whipped cream on some raw meat
Thats not all I could eat
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tum...
I want some
Honey roasted walnuts
Pepperoni slices
Pasta and burritos
Different kinds of rices
Cherries dipped in chocolate
Cottage cheese and jelly
Colonel sanders chicken
Still wont fill my belly
Broccoli sticky syrup
Churros dipped in sauce
Drippy sloppy joes
Then Im full at last
Ahhh ahhh
Im full at last
Burp.
song performed by by No Doubt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Little Something Refreshing
Yeah
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tummy
I want some
Pizza coke and ice cream
Popcorn cotton candy
Marshmallows milkshake and peanuts
Would be so great
Pies chips candy apples
Twinkies frosted flakes
Donuts french fries
And some chocolate cake with mustard
Cookies avocados pancakes
Pineapple juice
Whipped cream on some raw meat
Thats not all I could eat
Im hungry
Im starving
I want some food for my tum...
I want some
Honey roasted walnuts
Pepperoni slices
Pasta and burritos
Different kinds of rices
Cherries dipped in chocolate
Cottage cheese and jelly
Colonel sanders chicken
Still wont fill my belly
Broccoli sticky syrup
Churros dipped in sauce
Drippy sloppy joes
Then Im full at last
Ahhh ahhh
Im full at last
Burp.
song performed by by Gwen Stefani
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Little Something Refreshing
Yeah yay oh
I'm hungry yeah
I said I'm starving yeah
I want some Pizza Coke and ice cream popcorn
cotton candy
Marshmallows milkshake and peanuts would be
so great
Pies chips candy apples Twinkies Frosted
Flakes
And donuts french fries and some chocolate
cake with mustard
Cookies avocados pancakes pineapple juice
Whipped cream on some raw meat
That's not all I could...
Eat
I'm hungry
I want some food for my tum
I want some honey roasted walnuts pepperoni
slices
Pasta and burritos different kinds of rices
Cherries dipped in chocolate cottage cheese
and jelly
Colonel Sander's chicken still won't fill my
belly
Broccoli sticky syrup churros dipped in sauce
Drippy sloppy joes then I'm full at last
Oh oh oh oh oh oh I'm full at last
And I'm full at I'm really really full at
And I'm full at last
I'm full at I'm really really full at
I'm full at last
And I'm full at I'm really really full at
I'm full at last
Full
(BURP!)
song performed by by No Doubt from No Doubt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beauty Queens Don’t…
Beauty queens don’t burp, fart, poop or pee
To do so would destroy illusion of a goddess
Because Icons are not mortal like you n’ me
They’re meant to prance, preen n’ luminesce
ROTMS
poem by Ray Lucero
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The Bad Side Of Summer
can you walk along the road without getting a fly in your mouth,
can you go to the beach without getting sun burnt,
can you play footie with your mates without getting treading in dog shit,
can you pick flowers for you mum without getting stung by a bee,
can you go swimming in the sea without getting eaten by a shark
BURP! ! ! !
didnt think so.........................
poem by Charlee Fish
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My Teacher Ate My Homework
my teacher ate my homework,
which i thought was rather odd.
he sniffed at it and smiled,
and gave a thoughtful chew.
I think he must have liked it,
for he really went to town.
He licked off all his fingers,
gave a burp and said, 'You pass.'
I guess that's how they grade you
when you're in a cooking class.
poem by Shaikha Alansari
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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To Alienate
To alienate and never burp
That is the task for me
Come diving in from outer space
No name, no mission, no place
Eat you, your words, but leaving something else
There'll be no destruction in this wake
footprints of tears...yes....lei of love
and...ok.... a playful wink of scorn
but it was all written in the sand
anyway
poem by Boink Boink
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A Note Full Of Scribbles..
Can't roll on the bed,
when the feeling gets on.
Touch that part,
that plays the tart.
sometimes swollen,
otherwise shrunk.
sometimes full,
otherwise dull.
sometimes jumping,
and pushing up.
otherwise rumbling,
and crushing down.
sometimes we curse ourselves,
to look for it on our own.
otherwise we curse the world,
for turning us down.
sometimes it happens,
when we overeat and burp.
otherwise it happens,
when we are in poverty.
sometimes we do not realize,
how gifted we are.
otherwise it is a known fact,
that we are abandoned and dirt poor.
poem by Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi
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Disgusting
I sighed and wept, then I farted
Thinking of my dear departed,
Imagine how upset I felt
That she couldn't stand the way I smelt!
I haven't had a bath for years,
But surely that's no cause for tears?
If a man can't smell like a rotting bin
What kind of world are we living in?
I reserve the right to fart at will
And burp whenever I've had my fill!
If you don't think that this is fair
You can take your posh ideas elsewhere!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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