Mr. Cameron
What if Mr. Cameron was made of Swiss cheese?
Cleaning up wouldn’t be much of an ease.
If he was, that wouldn’t be nice.
Our homeroom would be infested with mice.
This room would be home to a family of rats,
We might start chasing them with baseball bats.
His life would be simple,
His face without a dimple,
The dimple, replaced by a hole,
Austin would use it as a soccer Goal.
Mr. Cameron would be fired,
Yet also, he would be admired.
Admired, but only by mice,
Now isn’t that nice?
It would be weird to have a dairy product as a teacher,
What an unusual edible and healthy to eat creature.
Living in a zoo,
He’ll have nothing to do,
He’s a one of a kind edible pet,
So sell him on the internet,
That’s when E-bay comes in handy.
You can eat him like candy,
Or play with him as if he was plastic,
Be careful though, he’s not so elastic.
He’s a perfect crash dummy,
Since he has nothing in his tummy.
Make him fall into a bush,
Just give him a little push.
He will start tipping,
As if he was tripping,
He won’t explode into a fireball,
But he will not like the fall.
Cheese has feelings you know.
He has no where to go.
Except maybe a hotel,
Or maybe some random motel.
That dairy product of a teacher,
Is not a farting old preacher.
But an edible piece of art,
That will touch anyone’s heart.
He cannot have soup and slurp,
And he cannot drink pop and burp
That’s because he contains no highly flammable gas.
In the end, he was vigorously consumed by the class.
How sad,
Too bad
poem by Anders Lim
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A different type of homework
Being a science student I attended cookery class for only one term
(3 months) in Class 8th...This poem is a small contribution for the
Cookery Class when we had to make Cookies at home and take
them to school for checking/inspection :) I have tried to make it a
funny poem :)
I was given homework to do,
a good presentation I made.
Next day I showed it too,
and all my friends admired.
My teacher came to inspect it,
and she sniffed it like a puppy.
Then she took a small bite,
chewed it and looked happy.
She took another bigger piece,
munching away and smiling.
I watched not feeling nice,
seeing my homework disappearing.
Soon she had finished it all,
I stood with my mouth agape.
My homework seems vitamins full,
that a teacher ate it with a burp?
Normal marking of assignment is to make you pass,
What of tasting and then eating your homework?
Your marking is done like this in class!
in cookery class the teacher eats your work. :)
renukakkar 28.10.2011
Copyright@2011
poem by Renu Kakkar
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A nice Teacher
A nice teacher
Never gives out alot
of work to their students.
A nice teacher
Always give out candy
to their students.
A nice teacher
Always give students a
warning before they get punish.
A nice teacher
Would never give
out a test.
A nice teacher
Is always a nice teacher
poem by James Wilhoite
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The Daily Poems
these may just be words
letters that one need not read carefully
as they are not instructions
or manuals for daily living
not something edible to eat
not a ball to play with on late afternoons
when you have nothing to do
not a bar of beauty soap for your face
not a lotion for your skin
not a piece of cake or a fried potato
for your breakfast table
neither is it a cup of hot coffee
they are not necessities of life
yet somehow
the daily poems of our lives
make us live
a day more,
an hour more of promise
a moment of more tolerance
another year of patience with ourselves
a night of nice sleep
under the stars.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Why Are You Gloating?
Why are you gloating?
You look as if you were a mouse,
Who was just awarded...
A lifetime supply of cheese.
'That's almost funny.
No.
But...
Say I 'was' that mouse.'
Okay...
Mouse.
'And that mouse was suspected of stealing cheese.
And those who made the cheese...
Did all they could to find the mouse guilty of the crime.'
Go ahead,
I'm listening.
'And...
The mouse,
Kept telling the makers of cheese...
They actually befriended rats!
And those rats were the culprits of the theft all along.'
I don't get it.
What has that got to do with you?
'You see...
The folks had their eyes focused on the mouse closely.
Under microscope.
Not realizing they socialized and entertained disguised rats.
Masquerading as wholesome folks with undeniable integrity.'
What became the outcome?
'Well...
Not only was the mouse awarded that lifetime of cheese you mentioned.
But efforts long dismissed achieved notoriety for that same mouse.'
Soooo,
'Why' are 'you' gloating?
'Forget it.
Just forget it.'
Hey,
Wait a minute.
Don't get angry with me.
You were the one to bring up the mice and rats in disguise,
Working inside a cheese factory.
Yeah...
That's right.
Walk away.
You need to lay that head down and get some rest.
No wonder I see him smiling all the time.
The dude is nuts!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Ethelred
Ethelred had toasted bread
Each night before he went to bed.
And every day when he got up
Hot Chocolate filled his morning cup.
Then before he went to School
A Bacon Sandwich was the rule.
His Mother made his lunch each day
Which took about an hour I'd say.
Two Sausage Rolls and three Pork Pies
Four bags of Crisps as a surprise.
Some Sandwiches of Roasted Lamb
A fresh baked Quiche of Cheese and Ham.
Then for Dessert a Chocolate Cake
With Clotted Cream she'd always make.
His School was forty yards away
A healthy walk you just might say.
But Ethelred would always stop
At McIntyre's his favorite shop.
Some Sherbet Lemons or a Dip
Into his School Bag he would slip.
Then he would saunter on his way
Prepared to face another day.
At School he'd join his Classroom line
In readiness to start at nine.
His Mum had written him a note
And placed it in his Overcoat.
It asked his Teacher to refrain
From making him do 'Games' again.
'Ethelred's not well' it said
'Could he do Cookery instead? '.
His Teacher thought that it was wise
In view of his enormous size.
That Ethelred should still take part
In exercise to help his heart.
They set off for the Football Field
Where very soon it was revealed
That Ethelred would still not play
He'd left his kit at home today.
His Teacher would not be gainsaid
Nor change the plans that he had made.
Ethelred was much too fat
And needed help to alter that.
So, off he hauled him to the Gym
With clear intent, to make him slim.
He'd start him on the Vaulting Horse
Which he would reinforce, of course.
Young Ethelred looked on, bemused
His Mother wouldn't be amused
At Teacher's plans to make him fit
In fact, she wouldn't hear of it.
He needed building up, she thought
Not turn into the skinny sort
Who suffered from perrenial ills
And spent their lives digesting pills.
But Ethelred felt that he should
Obey the Teacher if he could.
So even though he had no kit
Prepared himself to go for it.
He removed his shoes and socks
And headed for the vaulting box.
Determinedly he built up speed
Forgetting all about the need
To leave the ground and make a vault
A pretty catastrophic fault!
He hit the box with dreadful force
Destroying it, at once, of course.
But even then he did not stop
He hit the wall...And then went POP! !
And so, a word now, to the wise;
DO NOT MIX FOOD AND EXERCISE! ! ! ! ! ! !
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
poem by Owain Glyn
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Dairy Ode
Our muse it doth refuse to sing
Of cheese made early in the spring,
When cows give milk from spring fodder
You cannot make a good cheddar.
The quality is often vile
Of cheese that is made in April,
Therefore we think for that reason
You should make later in the season.
Cheese making you should delay
Until about the first of May.
Then cows do feed on grassy field
And rich milk they abundant yield.
Ontario cannot compete
With the Northwest in raising wheat,
For cheaper there they it can grow
So price in future may be low.
Though this a hardship it may seem,
Rejoice that you have got the cream,
In this land of milk and honey,
Where dairy farmers do make money.
Utensils must be clean and sweet,
So cheese with first class can compete,
And daily polish up milk pans,
Take pains with vats and with milk cans.
And it is important matter
To allow no stagnant water,
But water from pure well or stream
The cow must drink to give pure cream.
Canadian breeds 'tis best to pair
With breeds from the shire of Ayr,
They thrive on our Canadian feed
And are for milking splendid breed.
Though 'gainst spring cheese some do mutter,
Yet spring milk also makes bad butter,
Then there doth arise the query
How to utilize it in the dairy.
The milk it floats in great spring flood
Though it is not so rich and good,
Let us be thankful for this stream
Of milk and also curds and cream.
All dairymen their highest aims
Should be to make the vale of Thames,
Where milk doth so abundant flow,
Dairyland of Ontario.
poem by James McIntyre
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Here! Here...You Take The Cheese
Mice like rats and slick napping cats,
Only appear to do as they please...
When it is believed the coast is clear,
To re-energize their determined activities.
Only when they are unmistakably trapped,
Do mice and rats feel the penetrating claws...
Of those one eye opening awakening cats,
With a squealing of their innocence.
'Here! Here...
You take the cheese.
I'm on a diet anyway.
I was only in your neighborhood,
Seeking a way to cement new friendships.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Steaming broccoli soup,
Roasted garlic, chopped green chives;
Slurp, slurp, burp, burp, burp…
haiku by Mamta Agarwal
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fall Together
Looking through the looking glass, looking back at me
Ive got x-ray rear view vision but I dont like what I see
Now, I should not bitch and moan but theres not much I can do
When youre hangin by a thread and Im hangin on to you
Baby, we can fall apart or we can fall together
Its a long way down
We can make a new start, never say never
We can fall apart or we can fall together
Fall together
Fall together
Fall together
Now I know you feel compelled when youre way down in the dumps
Every road can take some turns, every road has got its bumps
Now you got to know yourself, you got to play it smart
cause you suffer for your sanity if you suffer for your art
Baby, we can fall apart or we can fall together
Its a long way down
We can make a new start, never say never
We can fall apart or we can fall together
Fall together
Fall together
Fall together
Now, honey, I got this feelin somethin funny, I dont what it is
My knees are shakin, my heart is racin and the grounds about to give
Baby, we can fall apart or we can fall together
Its a long way down
We can make a new start, never say never
We can fall apart or we can fall together
Baby, we can fall apart or we can fall together
Its a long way down
We can make a new start, never say never
We can fall apart or we can fall together
(fall together, fall together) fall together
(fall together, fall together) fall together
(fall together, fall together) fall together
(fall together, fall together) fall together
(fall together, fall together) fall together
(fall together) fall together fall together
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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for My Teacher
I knew I was alive, ‘cause I felt myself breathing
I knew I could walk, ‘cause I saw my legs moving
I knew I had feelings, ‘cause I could pity myself so much
For everything I was doing, I had done,
I would do that wouldn’t matter as such.
And then you came, my teacher
Introduced myself to me
Showed me, like every creature,
How different I could be.
And made me feel special
No cursed any more,
Believe in the power of my dreams
The limitless potential in my core.
Life, black and plain white
That used to be
Now with your eyes
I could see the red, the blue and the green.
And you taught not just “ABC”
But also the perspective with which the world to see
And you taught not just “123”
But also the ways to set ourselves free.
I don’t just breathe now teacher, I live.
I don’t just walk now teacher,
I run for my wants.
I don’t pity myself anymore teacher,
I’m proud of myself.
I don’t just respect you teacher,
I owe myself to you…….
poem by Jaya Mishra
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XIX: Fruits
grow the fruit till it's big enough
grow the fruit till the color turns red
grow the fruit till it smells good
grow the fruit to be cooked
don't be tricked of what is edible
a beautiful fruit can be sour
a big fruit can be raw
a delicious fruit can be poison
a cooked fruit can be forbidden
be careful of what is edible
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Teacher, Teacher
Just when I thought I finally learned my lesson well,
There was more to this than meets the eye.
And for all the things you taught me, only time will tell,
If I'll be able to survive. Oh yeah.
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me all I need to know?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
Or will I fall when you let me go? Oh no.
Am I ready for the real world, will I pass the test?
You know it's a jungle out there.
Ain't nothin' gonna stop me, I won't be second best,
But the joke's on those who believe the system's fair, oh yeah.
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me if I'm right or wrong?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
I wanna know what's goin' on, Oh yeah.
So the years go on and on, but nothing's lost or won.
And what you learned is soon forgotten.
They take the best years of your life,
Try to tell you wrong from right,
But you walk away with nothing. Oh Oh.
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me all I need to know?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
Or will I fall when you let me go?
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me if I'm right or wrong?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
I wanna know what's goin' on, Oh
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Teacher, teacher, Ooh yeah.
Teacher, teacher
Teacher, teacher
~Adams, Vallance
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Have Mice
We have mice in the bedroom,
the living room, kitchen and the loo.
I have even found one in the bathroom sink.
They come in all sorts of colours
red, green, purple, blue and pink.
They all belong to our cat family,
Arthur, Barney, Charlie and Daisy.
They leave them all over the house,
even hide them in our shoes and under the mats.
Sometimes they take them to bed
when they are lying on ours.
We have mice, mice and more mice,
ain’t life grand when your kitty winks have fun
and you suffer at their paws.
However, we would not be without them,
as all cat lovers know.
11 January 2011
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ode To Cheese
☺ .
Ode To Cheese,
Which Makes Us Smile,
When Camera's go Clack.
Ode To Cheese,
Which make us taste,
The greatest of flavors, the wackiest of whack.
Ode To Cheese,
Blue, Gorgonzola,
American and Cheddar.
Ode To Cheese,
Beja and Feta,
In all types of weather.
Ode To Cheese,
For those on a diet,
or trying to get fatter.
Ode To Cheese,
with crackers and wine,
with grapes can flatter.
Ode To Cheese,
when you're sad and happy,
Cheese just fits.
Ode To Cheese,
Mountains and Mountains,
or bits and bits.
Ode to the Cheese,
To appreciate,
eat,
and take pictures.
The Possibilities of Ice
One day at school
I decided to put a pool
Of ice water over Mrs. Stuart's desk
When she sat down in the chair
The bucket turned in the air
And boy I swear what a mess
She stood up to shout
The person responsible will be out
Of school for a couple of days
It was funny to see
The stunned looks of glee
But not as funny as that teacher's face
Although I got out
Because of that teacher's shout
Mr. Owen said to me
Nice work young one
But the trouble's only begun
Because when you come back there'll be
Mrs. Stuart with a bucket of ice
And a room full of unsanitary mice
So Mrs. Stuart
I'm as sorry as I could possibly be
But you should have sen the look on your face
The day that you yelled at me.
poem by Mystykka Mysterious
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Small legendery joke
Maori fella walks into a dairy and asks for a tin of cat food. Indian dairy owner says 'Oh no - I am hearing about you Maori fellows and how you put cat food into pastry and call it meat pie. Please bring cat into shop for me to see and you can have cat food'. Maori fella says 'oh man, I don't even know where the cat is right now - probably chasing birds.' Indian dairy owner says 'No cat, no cat food'.
Maori fella sulks away from shop. Same guy comes in a week later and asks for a tin of dog food for his dog. Indian dairy owner gives him the same run down, 'No dog - no doggy food'. Maori fella is really upset and storms off. He comes back a couple of days later with a big plastic bag and slams it on the counter. The dairy owner says 'Oh what is this being please' and opens the bag and is overcome by the foul stench which from the now open bag. Maori fellah says, 'It's a bag of sh*t man, I want some toilet rolls! '
poem by Racina Rodriguez
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Teacher Man
The Teacher Man teaches kids from all over the world
The Teacher Man teaches no matter boy or girl
The Teacher Man teaches Christans, Musilms, and Jews
The Teacher Man teaches those who say 'God I don't believe in you'
The Teacher Man teaches over demands for more recess
The Teacher Man teaches to only demand the best
The Teacher Man teaches Science, Reading, and Math
The Teacher Man teaches how to live out of class
The Teacher Man teaches all how to share
The Teacher Man teaches that we all should care
The Teacher Man teaches how to keep an open mind
The Teacher Man teaches with a kick in the behind
The Teacher Man teaches there are lessons in life
The Teacher Man teaches how to overcome strife
The Teacher Man teaches there's nothing wrong with a hug
The Teacher Man teaches the world changes with Love
The Teacher Man teaches the rich and the poor
The Teacher Man teaches those who are ready for more
The Teacher Man teaches how to look someone in the eye
The Teacher Man teaches how to accept someone in their cry
The Teacher Man teaches in more than one tounge
The Teacher Man teaches how to make working hard fun
The Teacher Man teaches all the colors of the land
But, most important of all, he teaches we should take a stand
Take a Stand, Take a Stand, for what you believe
Take a Stand, Take a Stand, and you will be free
Take a Stand, Take a Stand, for the least of the least
Take such Stand man, and you will find peace
He's the Teacher Man
poem by Ary Bolanos
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World's Teacher
If you want to learn
Then make heart your preacher
For it teaches you alot
For it is a world's teacher
For there are many things
And this world is wide
Where almost everything
Appears with two sides
And out of that my dear
One is good for you
But other side is really
Bitter and hard too
So learn to face it both
And with courage all
Troubles will go away
without giving you a fall
Only if you will make'
Your own heart your teacher
And learn to handle joys
And tears like a preacher.
poem by Seema Chowdhury
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A Warm Welcome to Teachers Today
Gone are the days of Guru-shishya!
Teachers of mettle are on the wane
Most things seem changed in today’s world
Ethics is on a downward trend
Students feel they can learn themselves
The Internet gives a false confidence
But none can be blamed for how things are
Virtues are declining fast!
Yet, teaching is a noble art!
Good teachers are a country’s wealth
Teachers must put their heart, mind, soul
Into teaching – their professional goal!
A teacher must be role-model
A teacher must be exemplary
A teacher must be knowledgeable
A teacher must be dedicated
Let’s change the world of teaching then
Let’s share with love, selflessly ken
Let’s make better all our children
Let’s make the student’s life, heaven!
Let noble thoughts fill teacher’s heart
Let perseverance rule the craft
Let craft become to all an art
Let love of teaching make head-start!
poem by John Celes
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How To Kill An Alien In 3 Stages
How to kill an Alien in three stages
1 Get the low down on them
ie dress code skin colour habits and Alien Medical history
Learn about their home planet their political and intellectual powers of reasoning
Investigate their toilet habits, diet and get an Alien medical history
Meaning Alien history that is alien to you
A list of allergies
1 Invite them to dinner
Find out if they are 'dairy intolerant'
Offer them milkshake disguised as a lamp shade some Alien's eat lampshades for the fibre
Give ghem cheese sandwhich disguised as a piece of caramelised carpet
2 speak in sub titles to confuse them
3Play spinning tops with their head and wait for the dairy to take effect
until they final bloat and explode
CLEAN All SURFACE GRIME away with damp cloth
Leave debri for forensics and phone MI6
speak in clipped foreign language that is indistinguishable and reeks of espionage
Finally 'phone home'
poem by Yvette Smith
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