When life is kicking others in the teeth, Become a dentist.
quote by Kevin Meyers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crocodile's Toothache
Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Dentist’s
Your mouth hurts inside for the pain comes from the teeth,
Pain is destructive to the teeth, its gums are bleeding;
Must we learn further help and admiration, or just weep?
First, the aching stops and then the dentist stops,
We all feel murdered, but why?
Firstly, mouths are meant for munching, fully chomping
The food residing in the head, feeding the brain as fast as it can;
We are not dentists, but full doctors, but full nurses,
As hospitals go, we stand firm on our teeth chattering away in the cold.
We felt absurd knowing your teeth.
The main worry was when it made me squirm, and then burn,
Too late, the drill was performed, with too much work,
And that was purity and goodness in the process,
For me, for me, and for those who call themselves the dentist.
We do find teeth a chore, always to be restored.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)
Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.
One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.
Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.
Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”
As we approached, a corner
there was a church on the other side.
“Why don’t you nip in there for a quick pray
that the dentist doesn’t come back? ”
She thumped me I wonder why.
As we walked back to the surgery I assured her,
that everything was going to be OK.
They calm you as soon as you walk in.
She looked at me suspiciously and asked how?
They have a big mallet just above the door
and bop you on the head as you walk in.
Your teeth fall out in the process
and the job is done.
Now I wonder why she has never asked me
to go to the dentist with her again.
1 April 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Just My Luck (Fun Poem 73)
I went to the dentist
for the first time in twenty years.
Sat in the waiting room
waiting to get my call.
Finally, it came
and I reluctantly went in,
hand shaking and nervous as can be
and was surprised to find
the dentist looked
like she had just walked out of the centrefold
of a Playboy magazine.
She was blonde
and dropp dead gorgeous.
Instead of a man looking like,
he had just walked out of a rugby scrum.
Trust little old me to gets this beauty.
I sat in the chair
took out my false teeth
knowing she wouldn’t want to see them
and opened my mouth wider
so she could have a peek inside.
“I’m going to have to take an X-ray at those.”
“No problem.” I replied.
After the X-rays were taken,
she asked me what pills I was on.
“The one you put in your shoe to make you go limp.”
I replied jokingly.
Sadly she didn’t get the joke I’m afraid.
However, because of the pills, I was on
and the way the tooth
was embedded in my gum.
I have to go to the hospital
to have the darn thing out.
Just my luck.
Here I get the prettiest dentist
to fool around with my teeth
and she then refers me to the hospital.
Doesn’t that just take the cake.
Just my luck.
There is a small consolation when I go.
They will knock me out
and I won’t see who is pulling out my teeth.
25 April 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Dental Poem
Natural teeth are best for men;
See the dentist now and then;
Don’t eat more of sugar stuff;
Don’t chew tobacco or puff!
Brush your teeth, both morn and night;
Wear your dentures, smooth and light;
Floss your teeth to rid off food;
Keep your oral hygiene good.
Extract teeth that hurt the cheek;
Let gums not bleed nor turn weak;
Rinse your mouth after a café;
Keep your God-given teeth safe.
Do not drink hot tea / coffee;
Do not eat sweets like toffee;
Let your breath be fresh and free;
Keep your teeth strong and healthy!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 9-9-‘10
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Dentist Appointment
On Thursday morning, I have to see the Dentist;
Cancelling the appointment, I am trying to resist.
I just don't know if I will be able to do it;
I don't know if I can put myself through it.
To help myself relax, and help allay my fears.
I am planning to plug my iPod into my ears
If, with my favourite music, my ears are filled,
It will drown out the sound of the dreaded drill.
Whenever I think about it, I feel extremely tense.
The relief I'll feel, when it's over, will be immense.
In the pit of my stomach, I get bouts of butterflies;
A few times, in secret, I've even had a little cry.
On my last trip to the Dentist, my eyes sprung a leak,
And my fingers gripped tightly to the edge of my seat.
The needle which they use, feels me with such fright,
So I'll lie there tomorrow, and shut my eyes really tight.
On Thursday morning, I'm the first one in the chair;
I'm hoping that this will make it a tad easier to bear.
But what if, the situation, I really just cannot face?
What if, away from the surgery, I then quickly race?
My Dentist does his real best to put me at ease;
He is really friendly, and looks slightly Chinese.
But, if I keep myself calm, and be really brave,
My teeth, my Dentist, will then be able to save.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Expert Dentist Dr Joseph
There is a dentist on Palm Beach,
who really knows how to fix your teeth.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph is his name,
your teeth will never be the same,
because 'Expert Dentistry' is his game.
His Star treatment makes you feel grand,
when his office picks you up in a limousine not a van,
driving you to his dentist office by ocean and sand.
Photos of Dr. Josephs, family and staff I did take,
to display past patients smiles real great.
By promoting his business in Palm Beach Today.
showing how he can prevent tooth decay.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph also is a generous soul,
he gave me a big tip at the Italian Bistro.
Just one more thing you should know,
he is an expert so listen his “Tooth Talk” radio show.
Written on Feb.16th 2011 by Christina Sunrise
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Expert Dentist Dr Joseph
There is a dentist on Palm Beach,
who really knows how to fix your teeth.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph is his name,
your teeth will never be the same,
because 'Expert Dentistry' is his game.
His Star treatment makes you feel grand,
when his office picks you up in a limousine not a van,
driving you to his dentist office by ocean and sand.
Photos of Dr. Josephs, family and staff I did take,
to display past patients smiles real great.
By promoting his business in Palm Beach Today.
showing how he can prevent tooth decay.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph also is a generous soul,
he gave me a big tip at the Italian Bistro.
Just one more thing you should know,
he is an expert so listen his “Tooth Talk” radio show.
Written on Feb.16th 2011 by Christina Sunrise
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Doctor Junk
Dr. junk the dentist man
Fills your teeth with what he can
Airplane wings and corset stays
And when hes done hell let you pay
In paper clips or inner tubes
Or anything thats slightly used
Hes not really crazy
Only nuts ... and bolts
And rusty rings make him do
The strangest things
Dr. junk the dentist has
An office full of colored glass
A garden with a paddle wheel
And funny plants for eye appeal
And though he watches them with care
Ive never seen them growing there
Hes not really crazy
Only nuts ... and bolts
And rusty rings make him do
Eccentric things
Dr. junk the dentist built
A junky castle up on stilts
Junk within and junk throughout
And tv in the chimney spout
And fourteen levels to each floor
And now hes adding fourteen more
Hes not really crazy
Only nuts ... and bolts
And rusty rings make him do
The strangest things
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A dentist's assistant named Jule
saw a blister appear on his tool.
Said the dentist 'don't fret
it's the girl that you met
from the Queensland Venereal School.'
quote by by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Theses officers were good friends, so it must have been a terrible argument, because the one who played chess with my father was so angry that he walked over to the dentist's house and got the dentist out of bed and shot him.
quote by Bruno Schulz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.
Put you energy into music. If it fails you, you can become an accountant or a dentist. And then if you become a dentist or an accountant, it's too late to become a musician afterwards.
quote by Peter Tork
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Spasmolytic
Kicking the (kickin')...habit (2x)
K... K.. Kicking the...habit (3x)
Making time in a low rent high-rise
Downtown!
Downtown... (11x)
Kicking the...habit (4x)
Kicking the (kickin')...habit (4x)
Downtown (8x)
Swirling tastes phornicate rotted meat (2x)
Rotted meat... (8x)
She sits alone in the worry she's created (2x)
In the worry she's created...
Kicking the...habit (4x)
K...K..Kicking the...habit (2x)
Kicking the...habit (8x)
Kickin the habit (2x)
Kicking the (kickin')...habit
Kickin the habit (2x)
No!
song performed by by Deftones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dentistry And Reflections
The dentist and Reflections
Up there in the continuous darkness of the universe
I saw a streak of light... a dying comets last hurrah.
Bedroom very dark couldn’t sleep too much death
for one night. Got up and read an article that plants
speak to each other. “Warning a heavy footed man
is coming your way.” “Duck a lawn mower is at large.”
Amputated roses and tulips chafes in a vase kept
alive for a few days... admire beauty in death agony.
Carrots screaming in distress when pulled from soil...
good for your health, dieticians says.
Everything we like, what we eat are, hurting plants
and animals. Which, reminds me I’ve an appointment
with my dentist tomorrow, gardener of my glum teeth,
he will speak softly as he pulls up out another tooth.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lighter (Fun Poem 128)
I am heading home tomorrow
a little lighter than when I came.
I had a candy yesterday
and as I bit into it
one of my teeth cracked.
Now I am going back lighter
and one tooth less
than when I came.
Looks like a trip to the dentist,
oh what a shame.
(15 July 2011)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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With Teeth
But she will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
She will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
Keeps holding on
She will not let you go
Keeps holding on and on
She will not let you go
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
I cannot go through this again /x8
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
Youve finally found the place where you belong
It comes on strong
She makes you hard
The rules have changed, the line begins to blur
To what you were
Wave goodbye
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
And it runs deeper than you dare to dream it could be
The black seal
She makes you better than anything youve tried
Its in her kiss
She comes along
She gets inside
song performed by by Nine Inch Nails
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rock 'n' Roll
Good day
I wanna see how everybody's doing!
[cheering]
Are you feelin' good?
[yeah!]
No-no-no-no-no, listen are you feelin' good?
[louder yeah!, music starts]
Was it worth coming out tonight?
[yeah!]
Are you sure?
[yeah!]
Are you 100% sure?
[yeah!]
Everybody come rock 'n roll with me?
[yeah! one guy in particular shouts really loud]
I roll 'n' rock, rock 'n' roll
I roll 'n' rock, rock 'n' roll
Kicking up in a brainstorm
[repeated]
Umm.. uhh... rock!
[guitars]
1, 2, 3... ahh!
Kicking up in a brainstorm
Kicking up in a brainstorm
Kicking up in a brainstorm
I roll 'n' rock, rock 'n' roll
I roll 'n' rock, rock 'n' roll
Kicking up in a brainstorm
[shouting]
1, 2, 3...
Kicking out the door
Kicking out the door
Kicking out the door
1, 2, [???]
[guitars]
[drums, real funky]
Ok, [??]
This is gonna be the last one!
[no!!]
This is gonna be the last one!
Get on the stage, i wanna...
I want some people to dance with me...
Ok, don't go waste the show
song performed by by Prodigy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ride Them Out
In your lifetime...
There will be those
Who may tell several lies about you.
Ride them out.
Defending them defeats your focus.
That is known.
That is why those demons show their heads.
To mislead.
Hopefully to get more believers...
Nonbelievers instead.
Ride this nonsense out!
Deceivers are the first to bleed.
Ride them out.
You will be relieved of their treachery.
Be patient.
And that will be hard to do.
Especially...
When you are close to removing some teeth.
Not your own.
And not with the aid of a dentist!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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