My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
quote by Carol Burnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Grapefruit Diet
Whos that waddlin down the street
Its just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and twinkies and deviled ham
Whos real flabby? yes, I am!
Every picture of mes
Gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
Theres just one thing left to do
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Might seem a little sever
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Im gettin tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like kate moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When Im all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Cant have another eclair
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. cheese nacho
Stay away
Oh I think Id sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Lay off the 3 musketeers
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Eat em till theyre comin out of my ears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
cause I havent seen my feet in years
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
I think Im about ready for a quarter pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And dont forget to super-size that
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hello Sailor!
His six pack gradually hid itself
under his pot belly as he slid into old age.
He could rest his tea on it and a sandwich -
it was quite a handy shelf!
Of course, it remained a six pack
well, in his eyes, and who was I to enlighten him.
We'd both decided, without a word
that it was there, deep down.
Yes it was where we couldn't see it,
out of sight, ready to spring back into action
should the new diet work
and as I loved him, I didn't really care
but often, in the afternoons, when the sun goes down,
I stroke his rowing machine in the corner
and wonder - if he'll ever ride the waves
of the big bad ship again.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Slim Fast DIE(t) Or Jared’s Subway DIE(t)
What is the world getting to?
People have been killed for Scarsdale Diet,
People have died on the operating table during stomach stapling,
People can die after they have gone the bariatric routes
People have underwent liposuction,
People have spent gobs of money on diet books,
Bally’s fees, diet pills to improve their health and looks.
The answer is, not being on The Biggest Loser,
You have to kill someone in Bentonville, Arkansas,
That’s all.
Broderick Lloyd Laswell
(sounds rather Thurston Howellish) ,
Is suing the Department of Corrections for their food that he gets for his meals.
He weighed at one time 413 lbs. now he is down to skeletal 308 lbs.
What is the big deal?
Broderick is in jail for a murder charge,
He is also suing to get hot dishes,
If he gets convicted of first degree murder and his appeals have been expired,
Then he will gladly get the dish,
for which he wishes,
If that is his wish, he will get,
barring any vindication,
Then he will have a cocktail of sorts,
an after drink called a lethal injection.
(4-28-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Beggar Never Complains?
But one day when somebody offered him a Nasi goreng plate
From an Indonesian Restaurant,
He said; 'Sorry Sir! It's too heavy and a rich diet it seems
I used to cold stale meals and don't know my kinky bowels
Could face the unexpected challenge? '
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My diet is mostly chicken and fish. I make sure I get a lot of vegetables, a lot of fruit. I am a big fruit man, I am a vegetable man anyway. And I also get a lot of rest. That's the key I may be up early, but I'm in bed early too.
quote by Magic Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bitter Meals
cannot eat meals prepared by all hands
meals prepared of some hands cannot eat
taste of souls who prepared these meals
some prepared in love others anger swift deceit
taste of some meals sickens burns bitter not sweet
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It was a really interesting time in New York in the late 70s and early 80s, and the music scene was really, really interesting because you didn't have to be a virtuoso to make music, it was more about your desire to express things.
quote by Jim Jarmusch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gecko
Today, I found early in the morning
A small gecko was struggling to come out from the porcelain bath tub.
I remember that I had a phobia of geckos in my childhood
As my mother always say when I skip my meals and play with ants.
'You never become a big man if you won't take meals properly'
And she points out a gecko on the wall, 'Beware! It will bite you'.
I made a mistake by pulling out its tail.
Oh! It was broken and gecko was no more.
I am so sorry my dear.
I cannot do anything,
This sorrowful incident would torment my entire life.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Run With The Pack
You never give me my money
you only give me your sympathy
cause I keep on running
there Is no way to catch up with me
I'm leaving you
don't make no fuss
you want even see me oh no for dust
I'm running with the pack, running with the pack
I'm running with the pack, never looking back
you try to keep me In cages
but baby you got to catch me first
you think your law Is contagious
I'll do my best you can do your worst
I'm leaving you
now who can I trust
you want even see me oh no for dust
I'm running with the pack, running with the pack
I'm running with the pack, never looking back
I'm running with the pack, running with the pack
I'm running with the pack, never looking back
I'm running with the pack, running with the pack
I'm running with the pack, never looking back
you can hold me now......
On my own way, running with the pack
never never looking back
keep on running, keep on running
movin on, movin on
song performed by by Bad Company
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Six Pack Girls
Gonna find some girls tonight
My friday night has washed away
Beer bong has me wandering around
The girls that look like drugs and alcohol
Six pack girls,
Six pack girls
Six pack girls
Six pack
So you pick her up and you bring her home
And you think about it for a while
Wake up the next morning and sure enough
Its not two girls!
Version 2
Go to work, and then go to bed your friday night,
Has washed away your bummed out,
About your work cause youve already put in,
Your thousand hours theyre all
Six pack girls,
Theyre all six pack girls,
Theyre all six pack girls,
Six pack
So you pick her up,
And you bring her home
You take her out,
And thats all youre alone,
And you want it sure
Enough your, stuck with her theyre all
Six pack girls,
Theyre all six pack girls,
Theyre all six pack girls,
Six pack
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wolfpack
Howling the pack in formation appears
Diamonds and clubs, light misted fog, the dead
Waving us back in formation,
The pack in formation
Bowling they bat as a group
And the leader is seen - so early...
The pack on their backs, the fighters
Through misty the waving - the pack in formation
Far reaching waves
On sight, shone right
I lay as if in surround...
All enmeshing, hovering...
The milder I gaze
All the animals laying trail
Beyond the bough winds
Mild the reflecting electricity eyes...
Tears, the life that was ours
Grows sharper and stronger away and beyond
Short wheeling - fresh spring
Gripped with blanched bones - moaned
Magnesium, proverbs and sobs...
Howling the pack in formation appears
Diamonds and clubs, light misted fog, the dead
Waving us back in formation,
The pack in formation...
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Put Yourself On a Diet of Love
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Through the week and over the weekend...
No matter who may think you're freaking!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Recognize the benefit,
Of a happiness exisiting.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Only you can testify of Sunlight on the horizon.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
And declare your peace of mind,
Has come to satisfy your needs.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Through the week and over the weekend...
To strengthen and not weaken,
Your needs.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
You will find a peace of mind,
With a remedy you found to please!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thigh Way (Song Parody of 'My Way')
to the tune of 'MY Way'
And now, my weigh-ins near
and my poor scale faces destruction
I've cheated, had some LITE beers
then gotten quotes for liposuction
I've eaten way past full
and then had one more for the highway
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way!
Bagettes, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
I love my salty snacks
but that's what gave me hypertension
I planned each 3 course meal
at greasy spoons along the highway
Ive gotten old
I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
Yes there were times when I was blue
Ice cream in quarts, I would go through
but through it all, despite the gout
I'd eat it in, or take it out
I ate it all, - and I'm not tall
don't diet my way
I've lunched, I've wined and dined
I've had my failed attempts at losing
but now my jeans just split
and it no longer seems amusing.
To think I ate it all
and may I say not in a shy way
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
For what is a meal without cake for desert
and JOGGING IS DANGEROUS - a guy could get hurt
I ate the foods I truly craved
and never once was fashion's slave
The weight-in shows, I need new clothes
don't diet my way!
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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At one point I had to shove as much food in my body as possible to pack on calories. My trainer wanted me to do six meals a day and not go two hours without eating. If I would cheat on eating one day, I could tell - I'd drop a few pounds.
quote by Taylor Lautner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And be careful of this, that each day at your meals you have two overseers over your household when you sit at meals, and of this be sure, that you shall be very much feared and reverenced.
quote by Robert Grosseteste
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live.
quote by Louis D. Brandeis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Each of us should take personal responsibility for our diet, and our children's diet, and the government's role should be to make certain it provides the best information possible to help people stay healthy.
quote by James Talent
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Early In The Morning
Early in the morning and I cant get right
Had a little date with my baby last night
Now its early in the morning (early in the morning)
Well its early in the morning (early in the morning)
Now its early in the morning
And I aint got nothing but the blues
Went to all the places where we used to go
Went to your house but you dont live there no more
Now its early in the morning (early in the morning)
Well its early in the morning (early in the morning)
Early in the morning
And I aint got nothing but the blues
Went to your friends house but she was out
Knock on your fathers door and he began to shout get out there boy
Early in the morning (early in the morning)
Early in the morning (early in the morning)
Early in the morning
And I aint got nothing but the blues
Went to doogie chain to get something to eat
Waiter looked at me and said you sure look beat
Now its early in the morning (early in the morning)
Early in the morning (early in the morning)
Well its early in the morning
And I aint got nothing but the blues
Well its early in the morning
And I aint got nothing but the blues
Well its early in the morning
And I aint got nothing but the blues
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballad of the Carpet Bag
Ho! Darkies, don't you hear dose voters cryin'
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must get to de Poll, you must get there flyin';
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must travel by de road, you must travel by de train,
And the things what you've done you will have to explain,
And the things what you've promised, you must promise 'em again.
Pack dat carpet bag!
Hear dem voters callin!
Pack de clean boiled rag.
For there's grass in the west, and the rain am fallin'.
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must pack up a volume of Coghlan's Figures,
Pack dat carpet bag!
And a lot o' little jokes to amuse those niggers.
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must wheedle all de gals with a twinkle of your eye,
You must bob down your head when de eggs begin to fly.
Oh! those eggs what they're saving, and they'll throw 'em by and by.
Pack dat carpet bag!
Hear dem voters callin'!
Pack de clean boiled rag.
For there's grass in the west, and the rain am fallin'.
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must get upon a stump, you must practise speakin',
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must follow Georgie Reid or Alfred Deakin.
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must come to de scratch, or you're bound to fail,
For it ain't any time to be sittin' on de rail,
Or de votes that you'll get -- they won't keep you out o' jail.
Pack dat carpet bag!
Hear dem voters callin'!
Pack de clean boiled rag.
For there's grass in the west, and the rain am fallin'.
Pack dat carpet bag!
And supposin' that you're beat, and you feel like cryin',
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must hustle back to work -- just to keep from dyin'.
Pack dat carpet bag!
You must travel second-class when you travel by de train,
For you haven't got a pass on de end of your chain,
While the other fellow's packing for de great campaign.
Pack dat carpet bag!
Hear dem voters callin'!
Pack de clean boiled rag.
For there's grass in the west, and the rain am fallin'.
Pack dat carpet bag!
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Greedy poem Gannet
I stuff my face with poems here
The meals served up in reams
I indulge in wordy gluttony
I'm bursting at the seams
But still you serve me more and more
Just like a pushing Aunt
I eat and eat all that I can
But finish? I just can't
You cook and bake and fry and grill
The most delicious food
I want to at least try it all
So you don't think me rude
Even 'back of cupboard' tins
Will not go out if date
And if you all stopped cooking
All the meals would still taste great
There so much here to be consumed
Enough to feed the planet
I savour all I can
As I'm a greedy poem gannet
I've started cooking recently
To add into the mix
I have a mind of recipes
Do try the meals I fix!
poem by Stevie Taite
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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