Grapefruit Diet
Whos that waddlin down the street
Its just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and twinkies and deviled ham
Whos real flabby? yes, I am!
Every picture of mes
Gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
Theres just one thing left to do
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Might seem a little sever
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Im gettin tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like kate moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When Im all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Cant have another eclair
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. cheese nacho
Stay away
Oh I think Id sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Lay off the 3 musketeers
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Eat em till theyre comin out of my ears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
cause I havent seen my feet in years
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
I think Im about ready for a quarter pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And dont forget to super-size that
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Put Yourself On a Diet of Love
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Through the week and over the weekend...
No matter who may think you're freaking!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Recognize the benefit,
Of a happiness exisiting.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Only you can testify of Sunlight on the horizon.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
And declare your peace of mind,
Has come to satisfy your needs.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Through the week and over the weekend...
To strengthen and not weaken,
Your needs.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
You will find a peace of mind,
With a remedy you found to please!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thigh Way (Song Parody of 'My Way')
to the tune of 'MY Way'
And now, my weigh-ins near
and my poor scale faces destruction
I've cheated, had some LITE beers
then gotten quotes for liposuction
I've eaten way past full
and then had one more for the highway
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way!
Bagettes, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
I love my salty snacks
but that's what gave me hypertension
I planned each 3 course meal
at greasy spoons along the highway
Ive gotten old
I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
Yes there were times when I was blue
Ice cream in quarts, I would go through
but through it all, despite the gout
I'd eat it in, or take it out
I ate it all, - and I'm not tall
don't diet my way
I've lunched, I've wined and dined
I've had my failed attempts at losing
but now my jeans just split
and it no longer seems amusing.
To think I ate it all
and may I say not in a shy way
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
For what is a meal without cake for desert
and JOGGING IS DANGEROUS - a guy could get hurt
I ate the foods I truly craved
and never once was fashion's slave
The weight-in shows, I need new clothes
don't diet my way!
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Each of us should take personal responsibility for our diet, and our children's diet, and the government's role should be to make certain it provides the best information possible to help people stay healthy.
quote by James Talent
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hindu Diet Principle
Finally figured out why diets never work
for me: I follow Hindu principles when
starting a new regime, at first a new con-
vert's Medieval fervour for new food, free
from cholesterol, caffeine and sugar - no
chocolates, cakes and bread, only green
tea, fruits, salads, almonds, honey and
yogurt - then comes the backlash
A passionate desire for forbidden stuff,
my old diet, a pantheon of gluttony gods
crawl back and I eat the old illegal foods
and the new healthy things - devoted to
all culinary deities I just assimilate the
new within the old and eat TWICE as
much as before, paying my respects
to all the gods dreamt into existence
In this universe - honouring ALL foods
regardless of oil, fat, sugar, cholesterol
and wheat content - every new diet is a
new addition to the diet I love - thus I'm
worse off than I were before the new
regime kicked off; should I market
the lovely Hindu diet principle?
poem by Margaret Alice Second
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Diet Coke
I'm a diet coke addict and not ashamed of my plight.
I must admit I guzzle each and every morning, noon and night.
Whether via bottle, can or glass I really don't care
As my taste buds are hypnotized by this enchanting fare.
As for my daily intake I have no idea of the amount.
I'm too busy chugging this elegant elixir to bother with a count.
Though one word of caution to those who imbibe regular coke:
Best you switch to delightful diet and not become one of those heavy folk.
poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tabloid Moments
An escaping from those tabloid moments,
Seems to be an incredible impossibility.
Plastered on everything that is moving,
Are advertisements reminding...
What's on TV, what to eat, how to dress
And what to read.
Intimate details of celebrities,
Has made the paparazzi a new industry.
And the squeezing of produce in a grocery store,
One is reminded which 'star' is on what diet.
Is it celery and grapefruit?
And what are avocados used for?
An escaping from those tabloid moments,
Seems to be an incredible impossibility.
Plastered on everything that is moving,
Are advertisements reminding...
What's on TV, what to eat, how to dress
And what to read.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Slim Fast DIE(t) Or Jared’s Subway DIE(t)
What is the world getting to?
People have been killed for Scarsdale Diet,
People have died on the operating table during stomach stapling,
People can die after they have gone the bariatric routes
People have underwent liposuction,
People have spent gobs of money on diet books,
Bally’s fees, diet pills to improve their health and looks.
The answer is, not being on The Biggest Loser,
You have to kill someone in Bentonville, Arkansas,
That’s all.
Broderick Lloyd Laswell
(sounds rather Thurston Howellish) ,
Is suing the Department of Corrections for their food that he gets for his meals.
He weighed at one time 413 lbs. now he is down to skeletal 308 lbs.
What is the big deal?
Broderick is in jail for a murder charge,
He is also suing to get hot dishes,
If he gets convicted of first degree murder and his appeals have been expired,
Then he will gladly get the dish,
for which he wishes,
If that is his wish, he will get,
barring any vindication,
Then he will have a cocktail of sorts,
an after drink called a lethal injection.
(4-28-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Plus Size
Are u a plus size girl?
Now dun be mad, girl
Just stating a fact, girl
Not that you overeat, girl
Sometimes it could be, girl
A medical condition, girl
Stuck in that position, girls
Being a woman, girls
Juggling career, family, girls
Going into menopause, girls
Can play havoc, girls
To our weight, girls
Hormones at play, girls
Or lack of it, girls
Plus size is in, girls
Throw the diet in the bin, girls
Sexy curves, girls
See Mad Men, girls
See Marilyn Monroe, girls
See Adele, girls
See dropp Dead Diva, girls
See Glee, girls
Watching diet's a pain, girls
So what if we gain, girls
Nobody, nobody but you, girls
Decides what you, girls
Want to be and do, girls
Key is Attitude, girls
Be cool. Peace out!
I Have Fat Enough!
There comes a time when you look fat,
'Cos fat is what you are,
You've broken chairs each time you sat
And things have gone too far!
You need to diet! Yes, you do!
You need to flee the flab...
You simply grew and grew and grew,
Ate all that you could grab!
Well, now's a good time, change your weighs!
Don't squash the scales again!
If you get thin, you'll earn the praise,
So think thin until then!
So ask a Doctor who knows best,
Yes, you, just take your time...
Like Amy Pond who's so well dressed,
So thin she looks sublime!
It's up to you! Yes, you, not me!
My diet's going well...
Just be the best that you can be,
As thin as Tinkerbell!
That said, obsession's not advised...
So check your ideal weight...
'Cos someday soon you'll be surprised,
'Cos someday... You'll look great!
Denis Martindale, copyright, August 2011.
Is this poem meant to deliberately offend?
Is this poem meant to accidentally offend?
No. It's meant to remind us of one lady who
finally had to admit it, 'I have had enough! '
So the poem was called, I Have Fat Enough!
This poem is based on the website feedback
read on myspecialk-dot-co-dot-uk by the dieters
who want less not more. They have all known
that they should diet, so they decided to try it...
The rest is history: yes, his story and her story.
P.S. Doctor Who's assistant is Amy Pond,
who is played by the actress Karen Gillan.
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Take Care of Love
Who are your friends in your search for intimacy sublime?
But who are real loved ones needing much more of your time?
When do you check your bank for your supply of funds?
But when do you check your love to see if it still runs?
Where do you store your valuables like diamonds and such?
But where do you keep your love and is there very much?
How often do you service your car to be sure it runs well?
But how often is your service of love just a hollow shell?
How often do you eat a balanced, healthy diet of food?
But how often is your diet of love remorsefully rude?
How often do you take a vacation from your world of spills?
But how often do you spill love and replace it with chills?
How often do you labor hard for that promotion at work?
But how often is your labor of love anything but a shirk?
How often do you look in the mirror and what do you really see?
For happiness, take care of love, and let all other things be!
poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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On a Diet Denying
Tell me this...
Since I admit,
I am quite curious.
If it is not for me you live to crave...
How can you manage to live each day,
On a diet denying,
My love and the nourishment you get...
When you know it is yours,
To have whenever you want it...
With nothing to me you have to prove.
Tell me this...
Since I admit,
I am quite curious.
How can you manage to live each day,
On a diet denying,
My love and the nourishment you get...
From it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cancer Can Be Prevented
Cancer can be prevented by eating no meat
protein can come from plants like nuts and beans.
The American public has been misinformed
please read "China Study" which is above the norm.
Colin Campbell does not sell a diet book
he a biochemist scientist with facts so have a look.—
Mr. Campbell went to China, Philippines first hand
he uses findings from real people who couldn't walk or stand.
Starving children he did see—
they set up programs to help feed the needy.
The American diet of fast food chains
has cost Americans dearly so becoming
a vegetarian it's the safest game.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on September 24,2012
www.suzae.com www.suechevalier.com
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Feed Me Love
Feed me love!
That's it.
All of those other promises,
To nourish my diet...
Has not left my appetite encouraged,
One bit!
Feed me some love as a main course.
Do not tease me with it as if it is dessert!
Whatever you say it will do for me,
I want that fed to me as an entrée first.
Feed me with it to quench my thirst.
Do not tease the love I hunger and deserve.
Feed me love!
That's it.
All of those other promises,
To nourish my diet...
Has not left my appetite encouraged,
One bit!
Feed me love,
And fill me up with it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Can't Buy Another Lie
I can't buy another lie to tie up my life.
No.
My diet wont treat it.
I can't buy another lie,
To nibble and try.
No I can't buy another lie to tie up my life.
No.
My diet wont treat it.
I can't buy another lie,
To nibble and try.
With a slice of apple pie and cider on the side,
And a piece of tainted meat...
Isn't good for one to eat.
It sticks and stays in between clean teeth.
With a slice of apple pie and cider on the side,
And a piece of tainted meat...
Isn't good for one to eat.
It sticks and stays in between clean teeth.
No I can't buy another lie to tie up my life.
No.
My diet wont treat it.
I can't buy another lie,
To nibble and try.
Whomever's in the kitchen mixing more tricks to fix,
I can't buy another lie to nibble and try.
Whomever's in the kitchen fixing more tricks to mix,
I can't buy another lie to nibble and try.
Whomever's in the kitchen mixing more tricks to fix,
I can't buy another lie to nibble and try.
Whomever's in the kitchen fixing more tricks to mix,
I can't buy another lie to nibble and try.
I can't buy another lie to tie up my life.
No.
My diet wont treat it.
I can't buy another lie,
To nibble and try.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
quote by Joe E. Lewis
Submitted by Silvia Velea
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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
quote by Jackie Gleason
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A little with quiet is the only diet.
English proverbs
Submitted by Micheleflowerbomb
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This cream will help one's nature strengthen and grow, The diet gives support in my decline.
My doctor explained that exercise and diet changes might help and that I also might need a medication.
quote by Della Reese
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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