I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.
Related quotes
I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things.
quote by Todd Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Pan Of Sorrows
I will give you the grain of tears,
Roast my sorrows in your pan,
O, tender of the fire.
Tender of the fire, branch of magnolia,
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
I am late already,
The shadows are fading,
The cattle have returned,
From the forest.
The birds have raised their clamor.
Roast my sorrows in your pan,
Tender of the fire.
Hurry, be quick,
I have far to go,
To the place
Where my companions have gone.
I have heard the road to that town is difficult
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
Tender of the fire.
When my turn comes,
Your bale of kindling is damp.
Why has your earthen pan
Become flaccid?
What has gone wrong with your fire?
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
Tender of the fire.
Mine is just a handful of grains,
Roast them, and let me go on my way,
Don't leave them raw,
Roast them well.
I beg you, bring an end to this wrangling,
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
Tender of the fire.
The wind has dropped,
Its mournful weeping ended.
A sweet heat
Is rising in the stars.
My breaths are like a marriage procession
Whose bridegroom is displeased.
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
O tender of the fire.
Tender of the fire, branch of magnolia,
Roast my sorrows in your pan.
poem by Shiv Kumar Batalvi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Singing songs like 'The Man I Love' or 'Porgy' is no more work than sitting down and eating Chinese roast duck, and I love roast duck.
quote by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm not a standup, but I play one on TV.
quote by Ana Gasteyer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I love standup and I haven't given it up.
quote by Ray Romano
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Hopefully standup will become special again.
quote by Marc Maron
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Next In Line, Please
You see,
I think you and I are not communica...
'Will that be light, medium or dark roast? '
...ting!
You see,
I am not like the others.
And I am see...
'Would you like light, medium or dark roast? '
...king something not so tart.
Less bitter with a more swee...
'Light! Medium or...
Dark roast.
That's it!
No if's ands or others.'
...tened taste. I don't like your attitude one bit.
I demand to see your supervisor.
Immediately.
'No problem.
Would you like 'your' truth...
Dark, light or medium? '
You did absolutely nothing but change hats.
'And guess what?
You either take that truth light, medium OR dark.
And...
Where is your authorization to stand in this line? '
I need no 'authorization'.
My name is...
'Next in line, please.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Wanted Everything
I heard about the Easter bunny
Presents under a Christmas tree
It was dreaming and fantasy
There was no Mom or Daddy
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I had the world on my shoulder
But I was getting older
Knew I was ready for it
Some kind of employment
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
All day working on a truck
Bringing the groceries up
Not much of a salary
No tip for the delivery
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
There's no success for me
Involved in a robbery
There's money in the supermarket
And I'm goin' after it
I wanted everything.
song performed by by Ramones from Road To Ruin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I will always love to perform standup comedy.
quote by Shelley Berman
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I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.
quote by Julia Sweeney
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Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.
quote by Shelley Berman
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
quote by Larry David
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Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double.
quote by Jerry Coleman
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I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
All She Wanted
She was a good girl
Been true to herself
Never swayed by the notions of somebody else
Shed had it rough, maybe most of the time
With only one thing on her mind
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
Who was tryin to do the best that he can
All she wanted was a lovin, lovin man
There could be blue skies in her heart
She was waitin for the good times to start
She never wanted diamonds
She never wanted gold
She was holdin out for someone to hold
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
Who was tryin to do the best that he can
All she wanted was a lovin, lovin man
A loving man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
Who was tryin to do the best that he can
All she wanted was a lovin, lovin man
Loving man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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NBC anchor Brian Williams is a standup comic in disguise.
quote by Leonard Maltin
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I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired.
quote by Marc Maron
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If I Wanted To
If I wanted to I could do anything right
I could dance with the devil on a
Saturday night
If I wanted to I could turn matches to gold
I could smoke drink swear and I would never
grow old
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
If I wanted to I could run fast as a train
Be as sharp as a needle that's twisting your brain
If I wanted to I could turn mountains to sand
Have political leaders in the palm of my hand
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
I could leave tonight
And I would be all right
Stop holding on
If I wanted to
If I only wanted to
If I wanted to I could be as patient as death
Fix this hole in my heart leaking into my flesh
If I wanted to I could turn sparks into ice
There'd never be another woman who could make you
think twice
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
song performed by by Melissa Etheridge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.
quote by Shelley Berman
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I'd like to go back to standup. I don't like to think I've done my last gig. At the moment it terrifies me, I get really nervous. It's a great buzz when it goes well.
quote by Mackenzie Crook
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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