I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
Related quotes
NBC anchor Brian Williams is a standup comic in disguise.
quote by Leonard Maltin
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I'm doing research for a large comic book on the Beat Generation guys - Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac and those guys.
quote by Harvey Pekar
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Oh yeah, I was one of the first guys writing comic books, I wrote Captain America, with guys like Stan Lee, who became famous later on with Marvel Comics.
quote by Mickey Spillane
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Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
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This is not to be cocky, but, I go over real well at Comic-Con. I've done quite a few Comic-Cons, and I enjoy the hell out of them. They are so much fun, and so bizarre. I've done the FX Show in Florida, Wizard-World in Chicago, Comic-Con in San Diego, Wonder-Con in San Francisco, the Comic-Con in New York, and I've done them numerous times.
quote by Kristen Bell
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I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things.
quote by Todd Barry
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My work looks like a comic book in form, but it's not a typical comic book in content. I write autobiographical stuff.
quote by Harvey Pekar
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We're comic. We're all comics. We live in a comic time. And the worse it gets the more comic we are.
quote by William Gaddis
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I loved that these two guys argued with each other as if movies actually mattered. Nobody I knew talked about movies that way, but Siskel and Ebert took each movie as it came and talked about whether it was a success on its own terms.
quote by Sarah Vowell
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Comic Books
Long before I was 12 I would read by myself.
Archie, josie, super-heroes.
I would read them by myself.
I had the stars on my wall.
14 was a gas for me.
Batman on tv.
I would cheer the super-heroes.
They were all I wanted to be.
I had the stars on my wall.
18 I was guaranteed.
I would lose my teenage dream.
But its so funny how I got to look.
Like all the people in my comic books.
Now Im a star on my wall.
Comic books.
Comic books.
Comic books.
Comic books.
song performed by by Blondie
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I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
Dead Guy Stickers
In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?
poem by Richard Jarboe
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Things in vague
Mind is talked about but not located.
Heart is talked about but not ascertained.
Ghosts are talked about but not captured.
God is talked about but in ‘faith' bracket.
We find it delightful to talk about
Things about which we are not certain.
14.06.2012
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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From the time I was very young, maybe five or six, I thought a lot about being an actress. I didn't tell my friends about my ambitions, though, especially when I got older, because I thought they would not receive them well. I never talked about what I wanted to do.
quote by Louise Fletcher
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Cat Peace
What? What’s up with you guys?
can’t a cat have peace in one’s own home, yeah?
never seen a cat eat before?
can’t you just mind your own business
and let a cat do a cat’s business of eating, ha?
HA! - what’s that laugh for?
and for goodness sake put away that camera
You think I’m cute, ha?
wait till I get my paws on you
and a flick of my tail while I’m in mid-air
will take care of your camera
What, you some kind of paparazzi or what?
OK, let a cat eat and you mind own business, yeah?
Oh, I’m really suspicious about you guys
Maybe you’re hungry, yeah?
go get your own food guys;
stop looking at cat food
or at cat as food – I’m really not sure about you guys
You’ll eat anything!
OK, jokes aside
I’ve worked hard my day entertaining you morons
and purring so you can squirm with delight
and curling up in your laps
so you’ll be happy and live longer at my expense
No, I’ve done my work so let me eat in peace
Do your work and go get your own food
That’s better...
Ah, now for some cat food, a catnap after
and some cat peace for a while at least
without adoring humans who think
they’ve got a circus just because they’ve got a cat at home
poem by Raj Arumugam
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The third biggest comic people in America want to make a comic book out of me. It's unbelievable.
quote by Mark Roberts
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
quote by Sandra Bernhard
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Girls Cant Do What The Guys Do
(reid / clarke)
Ooh, ooh
Guys are gonna wanna go out and play sometime
But girls you must not let it get you down
Just take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh no
And, listen girls when you give your heart away
You can easily be hurt
And the least little wrong he does
Always seems like dirt
So take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh, no, mmm
When you put your faith in one guy
(sometimes hell make you happy)
(sometimes hell make you cry)
Dont lose your self-respect
Tryin to gain revenge
cause no matter how you do it
You lose out in the end
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
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Psycho
No matter wherever I go
Some guys think I am a psycho!
No matter whatever I do
Some guys think I never need you!
No matter whenever I dream
Some guys think I am without team!
No matter whichever I choose
Some guys think I will just lose!
No matter how much I love
Some guys think I tell the bluff!
poem by Asif Andalib
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No, I'm not a comic book guy. I'm pretty fascinated with the subculture though and I do think that the world of comic books is such a natural transition into film.
quote by Donal Logue
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