I almost didn't name Butt-Head 'Butt-Head.' I came real close to calling him something else.
quote by Mike Judge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Butt Town
The cops are well-groomed, with
Muscled physiques in butt town
Their tan uniforms are tailored in chic
In butt town
Any young black male who walks down the street
Is gonna get stopped by a car full of meat
But the girl with the hair
Flies by in her underwear-
Shes done nothing so far to deserve that car
When you live in butt town
You gotta get down
But in butt town Im learnin
In butt town Im earnin
In butt town Im turnin
Into my worst nightmare
Im tellin you, its a motley crew in butt town
Monday youre new, and friday youre through
In butt town
The producer is wily, and owns what he sells
The talent is eager to go straight to hell
Th tits are amazing, and everyones gazing
At some body part-
Thats the nature of art in butt town
All over butt town dreams have a show down
All over butt town values are thrown down
But in butt town Im learnin
In butt town Im earnin
In butt town Im turnin
Into my worst nightmare
In butt town baby
Im gonna be a star
Im gonna shake my butt far
Now here we go
Im gonna shake my butt
Shake my butt shake my butt
In butt town
song performed by by Iggy Pop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Poetry And Prose
I ain't one for poetry, aint' one for prose. Ain't one for the scent of a sping-time rose.
But the is one face that I do know, I sure get a kick out of that Beavis and Butt-head show.
Other day I turn my TV on, and guess what I do see?
Two crazy-ass cartoon sunsabitches staring on back at me.
Said "What the hell's this", and Ler said "Boy, dont' you know?"
The whole world's gone crazy over that there Beavis and Butt-head show.
Talk about couch fishing, now I could go for that.
I could go for frog baseball, but I be inclined to use a cat!
On Comedy, I'm a stooges man. I like Larry, Curly and Moe.
But now and then a get a chuckle watchin' the Beavis and Butt-head show.
Stone-Temple Pearlvana Chain, now there's a helluva band.
They got that original sound that's sweepin' 'cross the land.
Ain't no ZZ Top though, now that's the band for me.
If I had my way MTV'd play just them and AC/DC.
I ain't nothing special, I'm your average kinda man.
I like a frosted barley pop and I drink 'em outta the can!
I don't give a rat's ass about poetry and not a damn 'bout prose.
I sure get a kick outta them Beavis and Butt-head shows.
Butthead: "Hey Beavis..."
Beavis: "What?"
Butthead: "I was just like...thinking and stuff...it was pretty cool."
Beavis: "Yeah, I'm gonna try that."
Butthead: "TV is cool..."
Beavis: "Yeah, yeah, TV rules....it rules! Yeah..."
Butthead: "Hey Beavis...I heard that pretty soon, they're gonna have, like, 500 channels.
That's gonna be cool."
Beavis: "Really? That would be cool."
Butthead: "You know what would be really cool, though? If like, one of the channels didn't suck."
Beavis: "Yeah, but, like, if one of them didn't suck, why would you need the other...um...
three hundred and twenty-seven?"
Butthead: "Because, you know all those TV shows that suck? It's like, you gotta put them
somewhere! You can't put 'em on the cool channel!"
Beavis: "Yeah, yeah! They should call it the cool channel!
song performed by by Primus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Wanna Pick You Up
I love to pick you up
cause youre still a baby to me
Cribs and cradles and bottles and toys
Are part of the joys they bring
I wanna wash your face
And change your clothes and button your shoes
Walk you around and wrestle with you
Then Im gonna make you sing
In the mornin I could wake you up
Feed you breakfast from a little cup
I want to pick you up
Rock you back and forth and make you smile
I want to hold you close for a while
I wanna tickle your feet
Drop you in your little tub
Wash your body and shampoo your hair
Be careful not to sting your eyes
When its night Ill put you in your bed
And Ill bend and kiss ya on your head
I want to pick you up
Rock you back and forth and make you smile
I want to hold you close for a while
Pat pat pat pat pat her on her butt butt
Shes going to sleep be quiet
Pat pat pat pat pat her on her butt
Shes going to sleep
Little baby go to sleep
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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American Girls
Darling, Im afraid to close my eyes when Im going to bed
Im afraid youll crack the phone down over my head
Why are all american girls so rough?
Damn, that girl cant ever hurt you enough
Lady (lady), you knock me on my knees and I cant stand up
You got the look in your eye and you smack my butt
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why do all american girls act so tough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
Darling, Im afraid to close my eyes when Im goin to bed
Im afraid youll crack the phone down over my head
Why are all american girls so rough?
Damn, that girl cant ever hurt you enough
Lady (lady), you knock me on my knees and I cant stand up
You got that look in your eye and you smack my butt
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why do all american girls act so tough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
That hole youre digging in my ribs
It aint no real wound
So baby take it easy
Lets try to be friends
Why are all american girls so rough?
Damn, that girl cant ever hurt you enough
Lady (lady), you knock me down on my knees and I cant stand up
You got the look in your eye, you smack my butt
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why do all american girls act so tough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
American girls
American girls
Why are all american girls so rough?
American girls
American girls
American girls
Why are all american girls so rough?
American girls
American girls
American girls
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
song performed by by Weezer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've gotten my butt kicked by the best. Jet Li beat me up the best, but Steven Segal can still kick a good butt. It's a different kind of kicking, though.
quote by Anthony Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Poetry & Prose
I aint one for poetry, aint one for prose. aint one for the scent of a sping-time rose.
But the is one face that I do know, I sure get a kick out of that beavis and butt-head show.
Other day I turn my tv on, and guess what I do see?
Two crazy-ass cartoon sunsabitches staring on back at me.
Said what the hells this, and ler said boy, dont you know?
The whole worlds gone crazy over that there beavis and butt-head show.
Talk about couch fishing, now I could go for that.
I could go for frog baseball, but I be inclined to use a cat!
On comedy, Im a stooges man. I like larry, curly and moe.
But now and then a get a chuckle watchin the beavis and butt-head show.
Stone-temple pearlvana chain, now theres a helluva band.
They got that original sound thats sweepin cross the land.
Aint no zz top though, now thats the band for me.
If I had my way mtvd play just them and ac/dc.
I aint nothing special, Im your average kinda man.
I like a frosted barley pop and I drink em outta the can!
I dont give a rats ass about poetry and not a damn bout prose.
I sure get a kick outta them beavis and butt-head shows.
Butthead: hey beavis...
Beavis: what?
Butthead: I was just like...thinking and stuff...it was pretty cool.
Beavis: yeah, Im gonna try that.
Butthead: tv is cool...
Beavis: yeah, yeah, tv rules....it rules! yeah...
Butthead: hey beavis...i heard that pretty soon, theyre gonna have, like, 500 channels.
Thats gonna be cool.
Beavis: really? that would be cool.
Butthead: you know what would be really cool, though? if like, one of the channels didnt suck.
Beavis: yeah, but, like, if one of them didnt suck, why would you need the other...um...
Three hundred and twenty-seven?
Butthead: because, you know all those tv shows that suck? its like, you gotta put them
Somewhere! you cant put em on the cool channel!
Beavis: yeah, yeah! they should call it the cool channel!
song performed by by Primus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monkey Butt with Choca Mocha
It's not my favorite...
But it's hot!
This flavor tasted that I've got!
It satisfies a need that's fed...
A craving that has stopped inside my head!
A temporary drop,
In my pocket.
I will admit a feeding has been met!
A soothing to a drooling has been cooled.
Addicted to a moment of regret that's soothed!
Put a double on the cone for me!
With a cherry on the top...
Sitting on whipped cream with meaning!
Put a double on the cone for me!
Since you're out of Maple Nut...
I'll take take two scoops of 'Monkey Butt'.
And come back and get that 'Choca Mocha'!
Put a double on the cone for me!
With a cherry on the top...
Sitting on whipped cream with meaning!
Put a double on the cone for me!
Since you're out of Maple Nut...
Give me 'Monkey Butt' with 'Choca Mocha'!
Wait!
Leave the 'Monkey Butt'
And add two 'Choca Mochas'!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Imperialism: Happy Imperialistic FBI Valentine To A Sushi Agents
Do not look at me in the eyes...
FBI
sushi agent
cause,
you look a minimum
wage FBI sushi-chess-or cheese burger
No GDE,
No Connection, and
No emotional secure ground....So stop there
and happy valentine
to you...and all the FBI sushi minimum wage like you....and I still admire
the butt
dwelling free butt....unwatched....un-hijacked....nobody noticed it..shame
on the FBI...SUSHI BOSS....
if you are a PHD
Affiliated with FBI...
happy valentine too...
but, what your butt is doing
there watching out for the FBI....
with a PHD....are you....
a flip flap
double agent
double love
burned from the first round....with a russian in a russian roulette...
if so you are KJB....Puttin...and put it this way....this is
a crime against the nation....
and the valentine law....
to be double PHD
DOUBLE LIPS
DOUBLE BUTT
DOUBLE EVERYTHING
AND ON TOP
WHEN I AM ON TOP
OF MY HEAD
OR ON TOP OF YOU....
YOU WANT ME
TO CHOOSE....ONE OF YOUR NIPPLE
I MEAN DOUBLE IDENTITY NIPPLE....
AK you in valentine day....with a red American heart neck
filled with russian blue vodka...
if you are the boss.
i mean the boss...of the FBI....inch square by inch square and
all the undeclared possessions....
i hope
like obama
in this valentine day
that you are a
sushi
young
sushi
sissi
loussi...
boossi...
i and i will
speak
to the valentine
public
from your red
sushi butt....
If you are busheeze,
-and i said in advance
it is for a sushi ShO-SO
soso
agents...-
never mind.....dropp it, ...and dropp the case...
happy valentine....and play with it.....when you free...or whenever you are free....I mean the valentine gift...
poem by Atef Ayadi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ode To The Fanny Queens
It takes a super butt;
To prove the strength,
Of a frail seat of power
and of deposit of the user,
of same seat of power,
From the butt and of a squeekey
Butt; the user of the seat
of power
Who can laugh at ones self,
is the winner over all,
of the glorious seat of power.
heres "to you from"
poem by Roman Pierre Van Parijs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Butting In
i do not really know what is between
us when i talk
you butt in and when i
am silent
you begin to listen
which should have been
easier
if we remain silent
tonight
when i butt in
you must open
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head.
quote by Karen Duffy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Could Arrest You For Disturbing The Peace
What's going on?
What is this all about?
And why is that guy standing,
With his hands above his head
Butt naked?
And why are there two groups of people,
Arguing with one another?
'Officer.
I want these people out of my store.
They are ruining my business.'
Has anyone stolen anything?
'No.
That guy naked,
Came into my store.
And said he had 'had' it.
He wanted me to call the police.
I told him he committed no crime.
Then I said
Sir,
Even if you stripped butt naked
With your hands above your head,
That would be indecent exposure.
I could have you arrested for that!
Well.
I called 911.
While I was explaining what was going on.
Those people standing over there,
Thought he was not indecent.
That other group over there behind you.
Decided that he was
And then he started screaming,
~What difference does it make if I am circumcized or not?
I am the one requesting to be arrested.
So.
What is it you want me to do?
'GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF MY STORE! '
I can't.
Aren't those people still in the middle of their debate?
When did debating become a crime?
Now I do admit,
This situation is most unusual.
But calm down.
And I 'hope' you have a permit for that gun.
I could arrest you for disturbing the peace,
And threatening your customers.
I'll have to call for backup.
Are you the owner?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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People say that the Beavis voice doesn't sound like me or some other voices. Butt-Head I think sounds like me.
quote by Mike Judge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think the people at my record label know I'm a Christian and again, I've been really blessed that I've never had to get into a head-butt war over moral standards or anything like that.
quote by Jonny Lang
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I can't hit a ball more than 200 yards. I have no butt. You need a butt if you're going to hit a golf ball.
quote by Dennis Quaid
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Above Ground
I have a debilitating disability
I'm bald as cue ball from Chemo Therapy.
When I walk I wobble.
And most time my mate is a pain in the butt.
With all that going on you’d think my head be bowed.
My face would have a grief stricken look.
But I hold my head high,
and there's a smile on my face.
You know why, because
I'm still above ground.
This poem is dedicated to my neighbor and Friend Mrs. Pat Elias
The only place we were really told to tone it down - where other people would use the word censorship, but I wouldn't - was when we did MTV right after the Beavis and Butt-head thing.
quote by Penn Jillette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You've Got a Stuck Up Butt
You've got a stuck up butt.
And you want to keep it strutted,
Like you spreading it on butter.
But, you've got a stuck up butt.
'So What, ' You say.
And get out your face.
But, you've got a stuck up butt.
'Enough! '
Oh no...
I'm gonna follow you wherever you go!
So you'll know your butt's stuck up.
And I'm here to unstick it with my...
Quick wit!
If I get a minute!
So What, ' You say.
And get out your face.
'Enough! '
Oh no...
I'm gonna follow you wherever you go.
So you'll know your butt's stuck up.
And I'm here to unstick it with my...
Quick wit!
If I get a minute!
(And I'm here to unstick it with my...)
Quick wit!
If I get a minute!
(And I'm here to unstick it with my...)
Quick wit!
If I get a minute!
(And I'm here to unstick it with my...)
Quick wit!
If I get a minute!
(And I'm here to unstick it with my...)
Quick wit!
To get next to it!
You've got a stuck up butt.
And you want to keep it strutted,
Like you spreading it on butter,
In my mind!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When He Goes Fishing In The Sea
during summer
his fishing time begins
a loner
he is always alone in his boat
and think as deep as the sea
he doesn't care how time runs
how he looks sometimes
his mind is focused on the fish
and his loneliness
he didn't know that someone out
there with a telescope
cares about his
butt
naked he swims in the sea
diving for fish
and cooking his catch right there
in the shore
at night building his own
bonfire
someone out there
sees his naked beauty
dreaming that someday
his loneliness shall also be
her own
someday, she knows this man
shall need a woman beside him
to make fire for him
to make a man out of his
butt.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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