Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Toilet
Every one
use
The toilet
Clean
Take water
And clean...
Clean is
Importent
her clean
Is not
Impress other's...
It is helpfull for
Healthy good
Life...
For clean
Toilet...
All ways
With your use...!
Some
human are
Use
The toilet
At animals...
You...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Two funney
Young funney
Boy...
go
The toilet...
Pass urine...
Not clean
The toilet
With water...
why...?
The boy was
funney...!
The toilet was
funney...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Lily Licked the Toilet
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I'll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She's full of germs and worms,
At least that's what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It's safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch! (To Smooch)
Why'd she have to spoil it?
Nothing's been the same since…
Lily licked the toilet!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
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S00 Bawls
Pretty little mongo
Everybody wants her toilet
Same old story
She wont let nobody near it
The way she teases them
Its such a shame
Shes got all the huboons
Crying out her name
Soo bawls soo bawls
Shes got em howling
Shes got em growling
Soo bawls soo bawls
Shes got em going clean out of their minds
Soo bawls soo bawls
There aint a man in town who wouldnt
Have her for his daughter
Theys all trade their brains for
One taste of her toilet water
1-2-3-4 tell the people what she wore
Theyre all trying hard to call her up
But her phones been disconnected
Since she sold her butt
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Short; Silly: Ode To A Commode...Or....A Poem About Toilets
modern 'toilets' are large flushable porcelain bowls
which catch waste from both your and my exit holes.
i'm used to white ones with large flush-water tank.
a hidden pipe carries off stuff that often does smell rank.
some in japan were quite different……with no way to sit!
i'm glad i found 'my style' when t'was time to shit.
and if from toilet-paper usage you're leaning,
some toilets have the choice of an in-bowl shower, for cleaning.
toilet seats are sometimes colored, or cushioned, or even heated;
for me, more important (at times) is JUST to be SEATED!
toilets have changed since they were just holes in the ground.
i hope, when i 'need' a toilet, one's always around!
(4-4-2010)
poem by Bri Edwards
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The Gardener XI: Come As You Are
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If your braided hair has loosened if
the parting of your hair be not straight,
if the ribbons of your bodice be not
fastened, do not mind.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
If the raddle come from your feet
because of the dew, of the rings of bells
upon your feet slacken, if pearls drop
out of your chain, do not mind.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
Flocks of cranes fly up from the
further river-bank and fitful gusts of
wind rush over the heath.
The anxious cattle run to their stalls
in the village.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
In vain you light your toilet lamp
--it flickers and goes out in the
wind.
Who can know that your eyelids
have not been touched with lamp-
black? For your eyes are darker
than rain-clouds.
In vain you light your toilet lamp--
it goes out.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If the wreath is not woven, who
cares; if the wrist-chain had not been
linked, let it be.
The sky is overcast with clouds--it
is late.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
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A Dirty Beast
Your endless bouts of masturbation
Will do no good to your reputation
And I have to say I do deplore
The way you piss on the toilet floor!
Don't worry, I'm not complaining
About your lack of toilet-training
But I'm sure that even Sigmund Freud
Himself would be a bit annoyed
If you didn't make it your firm intention
To curb these habits that I mention!
Please show some self-control at least
Before you get known as 'The Dirty Beast'!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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It’s No Fun Going To The Toilet
it’s no fun, dearest friends,
going to the toilet
with your entrails full
and at zero hour
and rushing to the toilet
and finding every cubicle shut in your face
and you run to the next
and there are grunting pigs
behind closed doors
and you are truly full,
and you know you are in big trouble
and there is not even a discreet bush corner
in the god-forsaken damned city;
and you are walking up and down outside the doors
like an irate Principal at a school assembly;
it’s really no fun
putting yourself through such agony
to put yourself on such public display
going to public toilets
when you could have cleared all
and achieved dignity
with proper timing
and good though boring habits
it’s no fun, really -
dearest friends,
hastening to the toilet
when your pipe is nearly at bursting point
and you rush in to the toilet
and though lucky enough
to find an enclosure
it’s really no fun, is it? -
all that hurry and urgency
at near bursting point
as you pow-wow before the toilet bowl
and your buckle is stubborn
and you plead to your private self:
O no, no…don’t burst…not yet…
and your damned zip gets stuck just then
and you continue your war dance
and you plead to your intimate self:
O no, no…don’t burst…not yet…not yet, please;
please don’t do this to me-self –
and just then the zip comes asunder
and you pull it down like thunder
and oh, what a relief, no doubt –
but it certainly was no fun
going there to the toilet at near-breaking point;
and how are you going to face the world
with your zip burst
and your buckle broken and hanging over now?
oh, so, dearest friends,
trust me
(no wisecracks here, please)
oh all you children of the earth
all infants and old
and the genteel and the virile
and the incontinent
and the humble and those with golden toilet bowls –
it’s never fun to rush in to the toilet
at near breaking or bursting point;
and though good routine
and roughage may never be fun either
it’s safer than trusting in City Councils that
do not plan for citizens at bursting point…
poem by Raj Arumugam
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The Life Of A Turd
You don’t know what it’s like,
being in a toilet most of your life.
Yes, I am a turd,
I know it sounds absurd,
but hey, at least I’m not a nerd.
Now I have a family that went
down stream ahead of me,
Then went down the toilet
along with human pee.
But I’m not going to sweat or even fret,
I have lots of miles ahead of me yet.
Written by Christina Sunrise on October 1,2011
www.puppetpoems.com
poem by Christina Sunrise
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Toilet Seats
While I am emulating Keats
My brother fabrics toilet seats,
The which, they say, are works of art,
Aesthetic features of the mart;
So exquisitely are they made
With plastic of a pastel shade,
Of topaz, ivory or rose,
Inviting to serene repose.
Rajahs I'm told have seats of gold,--
(They must, I fear, be very cold).
But Tom's have thermostatic heat,
With sympathy your grace to greet.
Like silver they are neon lit,
Making a halo as you sit:
Then lo! they play with dulset tone
A melody by Mendelssohn.
Oh were I lyrical as Yeats
I would not sing of toilet seats,
But rather serenade a star,--
Yet I must take things as they are.
For even kings must coyly own
Them as essential as a throne:
So as I tug the Muse's teats
I envy Tom his toilet seats.
poem by Robert William Service
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I Love My Momma
[Snoop]
Momma.. MOMMA..
I love my momma
I LOVE MY MOMMA..
Through all the drama..
Momma.. MOMMA..
I love my momma
Check it out
[singer]
The first one to hold me (yeah)
The first one to scold me (yes-o)
You never cease to teach me
And always try to reach me (momma..)
Took me to school the first day
Taught me how to kneel
song performed by by Snoop Dogg from No Limit: Top Dogg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Surprise in Japan - Drain as toilet
first world country
oh these quaint toilets where
you have to do it into a drain
I was terribly surprised that in some parts of Tokyo a toilet meant
you do your business right into a drain. You wear a pair of clogs into the toilet which is nothing more than a deep drain. I am still trying to find out where the shit would flow to till this day.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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Toilet Paper
As I sit on that glorious seat
My pants resting up on my feet
Thinking, toilet paper such a cost
Use it once and then it's lost
It's something we can't do without
Have to have it, that's no doubt
Telephone books would be nice
Wouldn't be soft, probably dice
Can't afford it, what do you do?
When you go potty, and have to poo!
poem by Donna Nimmo
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Read Me Now
read me now
read me 500 years after i am not around
after that flush me down the toilet
that is if you are still using flush toilet
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.
quote by Joel Madden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.
quote by Daphne Zuniga
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
quote by George Lindsey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unchained Melody (Parody on 'The Streets of London)
(John London’s Radio Talk Show when he was
accidentally locked in the toilet)
Did you hear the shrieks fo London
From the toilet in the station
Calling for Jon-Jon
To come and set him free.
Armine let forth a sigh
Should it be one or two-ply
Nobody worried
The show must go on.
So how can you say
You were lonely
…and things about
where the sun don’t shine…..
So Jon-Jon took you by the hand
And quelled indeed the
shrieks of London
Back to the station….
Unchained melody.
poem by Margaret Kollmer
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I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.
France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
quote by Billy Wilder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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