I can't hit a ball more than 200 yards. I have no butt. You need a butt if you're going to hit a golf ball.
quote by Dennis Quaid
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Butt Town
The cops are well-groomed, with
Muscled physiques in butt town
Their tan uniforms are tailored in chic
In butt town
Any young black male who walks down the street
Is gonna get stopped by a car full of meat
But the girl with the hair
Flies by in her underwear-
Shes done nothing so far to deserve that car
When you live in butt town
You gotta get down
But in butt town Im learnin
In butt town Im earnin
In butt town Im turnin
Into my worst nightmare
Im tellin you, its a motley crew in butt town
Monday youre new, and friday youre through
In butt town
The producer is wily, and owns what he sells
The talent is eager to go straight to hell
Th tits are amazing, and everyones gazing
At some body part-
Thats the nature of art in butt town
All over butt town dreams have a show down
All over butt town values are thrown down
But in butt town Im learnin
In butt town Im earnin
In butt town Im turnin
Into my worst nightmare
In butt town baby
Im gonna be a star
Im gonna shake my butt far
Now here we go
Im gonna shake my butt
Shake my butt shake my butt
In butt town
song performed by by Iggy Pop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Meat Ball
(l. singer-h.zaret)
The little man walked up and down
To find an eating place in town
He read the menu through and through
To see what fifteen cents could do
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
He told the waiter near at hand
A simple dinner he had planned
The guests were startled one and all to hear
That waiter loudly call
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, this here gent wants one meat ball
Little man felt very bad
One meat ball was all he had
And in his dreams he hears that call
Ya gets no bread with one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, you get no bread with one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
All he could afford was one meat ball
One meat ball
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Take A Bow!
When you're feeling way above 'par',
And your golf ball is travelling far,
With a 'birdie' to give you a start,
Golfing is an art.
When an 'eagle' soars high in the sky,
As within a deep 'bunker' you try,
To extricate neatly your ball,
Golfing is the call.
When your 'club' just doesn't impel
Your first 'shot' to go very well,
You can't always 'iron' out the fault,
Golfing is difficult.
Now the 'swing' that keeps the ball rolling,
Will need some careful controlling, .
But then down the 'fairway' it flies,
Golfing is exercise.
When you 'angle' your ball at the 'flag',
And you suddenly encounter a snag,
Once the ball goes straight in the 'hole',
Golfing is your goal.
If you're 'putting' well, out on the green,
And your 'stroke' is one worth being seen,
Then go on my friend, take a bow,
Golfing is a WOW!
poem by Ernestine Northover
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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041811N next time
i feel bad hitting branch
with my errant golf ball
it broke it off and fall
i pick up, large as thumb
there's lot of power behind
that flying ball, i imagine
it could be weight of cones
that contributes to breaking
then i thought; gardener who
died who got hit by errant ball
i have lethal weapon at hand
i must be, must be very careful
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Analysis Of Baseball
It’s about
the ball,
the bat,
and the mitt.
Ball hits
bat, or it
hits mitt.
Bat doesn’t
hit ball, bat
meets it.
Ball bounces
off bat, flies
air, or thuds
ground (dud)
or it
fits mitt.
Bat waits
for ball
to mate.
Ball hates
to take bat’s
bait. Ball
flirts, bat’s
late, don’t
keep the date.
Ball goes in
(thwack) to mitt,
and goes out
(thwack) back
to mitt.
Ball fits
mitt, but
not all
the time.
Sometimes
ball gets hit
(pow) when bat
meets it,
and sails
to a place
where mitt
has to quit
in disgrace.
That’s about
the bases
loaded,
about 40,000
fans exploded.
It’s about
the ball,
the bat,
the mitt,
the bases
and the fans.
It’s done
on a diamond,
and for fun.
It’s about
home, and it’s
about run.
poem by May Swenson
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For Ball
At home
my dog and child
play the foot ball
Dog kick the ball
Clild also kick
Ball was...
Run to run...
Suddnley dog
Bite the ball
The ball was blast...
Chil was cry
Dog was wow...wow...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Birdie on the Seventh Hole, Shoot like a Pro
John Henry (Tripp) Isenhour III is a real jerk,
He was at the Grand Cypress Golf course,
Where he had been taping a television when there was a sound,
Not a “Fore”,
not car,
not a cow
or a horse,
Tripp was furious,
-no, not Linda Tripp,
he had to silence the source.
It was a red-shouldered hawk got Tripp upset when he had to do another take.
Tripp waited and waited for right shot to silence the squawking bird.
Tripp drove the golf ball 75 yards to the birdie.
The hawk was silent; the golf ball struck its mark,
The blood from the bird’s nostrils did not make the killing fake.
Usually birds are killed with baseballs or M1 Abrams Tanks,
(see Observation Farewell to Feathers) ,
But this was feat that was terrible for the red shouldered hawk,
and later Tripp,
Because the hawk is a protected species.
Tripp was arrested and faces 2 years and $1,500 in fines,
I hope he is found guilty and gets the maximum sentence.
Enough time for him to finish his subject on Man’s Endangerment t to Wildlife thesis.
(3-7-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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The Golf Ball and the Loan
[After Longfellow.]
I drove a golf-ball into the air;
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I lent five shillings to some men,
They spent it all, I know not when,
For who is quick enough to know
The time in which a crown may go?
Long, long afterward, in a whin
I found the golf-ball, black as sin;
But the five shillings are missing still!
They haven't turned up, and I doubt if they will.
poem by Robert Fuller Murray
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031010 Green Moments
i'm almost kneeling to the green
tracing the undulation and grain
i set my ball and look one more
from four sides and with prayer
did a couple of practice swing
got the tempo and putt went in
roll is when you hold your breathe
in silence talking to your ball begging
to break to follow follow path to cup
as tension builds up inside of me
so focus, it's me and my golf ball
nobody else, then yess...growwl(silent)
poem by Manonton Dalan
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I've gotten my butt kicked by the best. Jet Li beat me up the best, but Steven Segal can still kick a good butt. It's a different kind of kicking, though.
quote by Anthony Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Them Heavy People
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
They arrived at an inconvenient time.
I was hiding in a room in my mind.
They made me look at myself. I saw it well.
Id shut the people out of my life.
So now I take the opportunities:
Wonderful teachers ready to teach me.
I must work on my mind. for now I realise:
Everyone of us has a heaven inside.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.
They read me gurdjieff and jesu.
They build up my body, break me emotionally.
Its nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!
I love the whirling of the dervishes.
I love the beauty of rare innocence.
You dont need no crystal ball,
Dont fall for a magic wand.
We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball...
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS
Hit the ball as U should
Ere the Golf Stick skidded
And U in the Woods ended
Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide
Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried
Alas your 'misses' your family dread
And many a tear dropp you dead
Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come
When Your Wife has given you ultimatum
It's either me or GOLF you choose
And mend your ways or both your loose
'On my terms' if U want the kids and me
Coz I love you so much honey
I am not to touch the GOLF BALL
NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.
poem by Intensive KS1
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I don’t know if God plays ball
I don’t know if God plays ball
soccer or foosball or bacci ball.
Well, I’m a Frenchman and
boules is the name of my game.
Being on the ball is like playing
with Gigi little girls. When God
created Eve I wonder did He
have in mind dirty old men
and did He mean putting man
behind the eight ball
and did He know that eons later
round the corner of the square ball
someone hooks up with
a hooded guy who sells 3.5 grams
of meth and coke and damn,
that 8 ball is already gone!
I wish I had another!
I start singin’ a tune, I don't drink
brass monkey, like to be funky
and my name ain’t Eazy-E
your 8 ball junkie.
We did an eight ball of blow and
danced until next morning.
I ain’t never goin’ out
With an eight-ball Chiquita
Cuz I got balls and I ain’t
givin’ her mine and
she ain’t playin’ with mine.
I wish God had more balls
and my brain marinate
in mothballs.
~~~
Alex Nodopaka Aug©2010
AD Something
poem by Alex Nodopaka
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Ball & Chain
I've been on this roller coaster just too many times
And always it seems like
The blind keep on leading the blind
Tried to get them on the 'phone
Tried to find my way back home
Tned and failed, and tried and failed, again
But baby i don't want you 'cos you look so good
I don't want you 'cos i know i should
I don't want you to come in f rom the rain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Ah just lately i've been roaming from town to town
I've been setting them up, setting them up
And i've been knocking them down
I was born to live, it seems, a fugitive dream
Make things always better than they seem
And i stop and start, and stop and start
And stop and start again
Baby i don't want you for your money
I don't want you 'cos i love you honey
I don't want you to ease this memory pain
No, i want you to be my ball and chain
Yes, i want you to be my, be my ball and chain
When i see you in the garden once again
Baby you'll be standing in the summer rain
Laugh and cry and say what it's all about
You can even jump and shout
And you'll smile and say how are you again
I don't want you 'cos i'm so blue
I don't want you 'cos you know what to do
I don't want you because all my love seems in vain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
Be my ball and chain, be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
I want you.....ball and chain, etc.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Made Okay To Do It Your Way
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
Why did you choose to pick a ball,
Knowing picking it...
Wasn't cool to do.
You complained,
That you couldn't take the weight.
And a waiting too late makes it okay.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You made okay to do it your way,
To...
Pick then kick a ball.
To,
Pick then kick a ball.
You made okay to do it your way,
To...
Pick then kick a ball.
To,
Pick then kick a ball.
Why did you choose to pick a ball,
Knowing picking it...
Wasn't cool to do.
You made okay to do it your way,
To...
Pick then kick a ball.
To,
Pick then kick a ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
You pick up then you kicked the ball.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ode To The Fanny Queens
It takes a super butt;
To prove the strength,
Of a frail seat of power
and of deposit of the user,
of same seat of power,
From the butt and of a squeekey
Butt; the user of the seat
of power
Who can laugh at ones self,
is the winner over all,
of the glorious seat of power.
heres "to you from"
poem by Roman Pierre Van Parijs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Art of Deception
It’s not a game
like any other game
where a golf ball travels the distance
and being putted into a hole
it is only a small white ball
being lured into a hole
dark and full of deception
have you ever wondered
why the ball is never black?
the hands that hold the putter
take a firm grip in a certain art form
there is positional assurance
before teeing
and these very hands
network with the mind
in continuance they play
vicariously with the heart
and when the world
is minding its own course
and waiting for another PGA tournament,
the greenery is overshadowed
like a transgressor
the golfer becomes an infidel
drunk like a kite in the wind
moaning in apology
with numbness on his lips
making a hiatus
wider than the golf course
how to fine tune this art
with family blunted by fame?
and fortune?
and deception?
poem by Leonard Dabydeen
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Butting In
i do not really know what is between
us when i talk
you butt in and when i
am silent
you begin to listen
which should have been
easier
if we remain silent
tonight
when i butt in
you must open
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Keepin'-Th'Big-Ball Bouncin
Caught up in the nonsense.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
And waiting for some annoucement...
To stop that loud sound that pounds!
Caught up in the nonsense.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
Yet hypnotized to the aspect,
Folks stay ready to pounce.
But no one moves to unload the packs,
Stacked on their backs.
Mounting are their burdens,
And some like it like that!
Caught up in the nonsense.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
Bitten lips,
Bleeding blood.
Taking it.
With the moaning.
Sighing in their pain with pleas...
As if they seek someone to please.
And squeezing sweat from handkerchieves...
In fields they're proud to plow,
But gone!
Caught up in the nonsense.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
With a dragging of their feet...
To feed defeat on urban streets.
And reminiscing this so easy,
As if this beat succeeds.
And it does.
A nothingness achieved...
Like this does.
Caught up in the nonsense.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncing.
And...
A nothingness achieved,
Like this does.
Ahhhh...bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-b all bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Ahhhh...bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ba ll bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Ahhhh...bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ba ll bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Ahhhh...bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ba ll bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
Keepin'-th'big-ball bouncin'
And nothing gets achieved...
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lets Have A Ball
(bunn)
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
Well, I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
Got money in my pocket
I aint begging for bread
Cadillac el dorado
Well, its gone to my head
I got a short time living and a long greasy time to pay (play) dead
Aint doing no favours, aint asking for none
Honey, I got money, I can pay for my fun
Thats the way I want it, thats the way it must be done
[because]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
A certain little mama [you ? ? ? ? for me]
Gonna jump and shout [oh, yeah]
When the el dorado rolls up [ ah]
And Ill come walking out [? ? ? ]
Gonna tell ya pretty baby [say you like nothing]
You dont know what its all about
(Ive got) no special woman [no special woman]
Want no special friend [no special friend]
Want a good time today [good time today]
Tomorrow may be down again [may be down again]
Dont dial my number [oh, lord]
Ill tell you when [Ill tell you when]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
Really wanna...never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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