There was a young lady called Mandy,
Who used to drink barrels of shandy,
She was so full of gas
That they piped her at last
To the mains and then said: 'now that's handy.'
quote by by John Carter Brown (February 1995)
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Handy Dandy
Handy dandy, controversy surrounds him
He been around the world and back again
Something in the moonlight still hounds him
Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
Handy dandy, if every bone in his body was broken he would never admit it
He got an all girl orchestra and when he says
Strike up the band, they hit it
Handy dandy, handy dandy
Bridge #1:
You say, what are ya made of?
He says, can you repeat what you said?
Youll say, what are you afraid of?
Hell say, nothin neither live nor dead.
Handy dandy, he got a stick in his hand and a pocket full of money
He says, darling, tell me the truth, how much time I got?
She says, you got all the time in the world, honey.
Handy dandy, handy dandy
Bridge #2:
Hes got that clear crystal fountain
Hes got that soft silky skin
Hes got that fortress on the mountain
With no doors, no windows, no thieves can break in
Handy dandy, sitting with a girl named nancy in a garden feelin kind of lazy
He says, ya want a gun? Ill give you one. she says, boy, you talking crazy.
Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
Handy dandy, pour him another brandy
Handy dandy, he got a basket of flowers and a bag full or sorrow
He finishes his drink, he gets up from the table he says,
Okay, boys, Ill see you tomorrow.
Handy dandy, handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Just a load of silly limericks about people I know
I know young lady called Dee
Who lived in a bubblegum tree
She savoured the view
Whilst big bubbles she blew
And she only came down for her tea.
I know I young lady called Carolyn
Who said she was gonna go travelling
She afforded the lot
By a pay out she got
When her ex got impaled by a javelin.
There once was a poet called Ben
Who couldn't let go of his pen
He had a 'to do'
With some strong super glue
And it's been stuck there ever since then.
There once was a young Mr bright
Who wanted his farts to ignite
When he lighted the match
His fart just wouldn't catch
Coz the pants he had on were too tight!
I know a young lady called Laurie
Who burped after eating a curry
By god it was loud
And for this she was proud
Then she giggled and said she was sorry!
There once was a young man called Will
Who found it quite hard to sit still
He did not sit down once
No not even for lunch
It eventually made him quite ill
I know a lady called Karen
Who hired a group of hit men
She payed a few bob
For this one special job
And her ex was not spotted again
I know a girl called Nicola
Who craved for a day at a spar
She wanted shellac
And a rub of her back
But thought waxing was going too far
poem by Stevie Taite
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Dreamin' Town
COME away to dreamin' town,
Mandy Lou, Mandy Lou,
Whaih de skies don' nevah frown,
Mandy Lou;
Whaih de streets is paved with gol',
Whaih de days is nevah col',
An' no sheep strays f'om de fol',
Mandy Lou.
Ain't you tiahed of every day,
Mandy Lou, Mandy Lou,
Tek my han' an' come away,
Mandy Lou,
To the place whaih dreams is King,
Whaih my heart hol's everything,
An' my soul can allus sing,
Mandy Lou.
Come away to dream wid me,
Mandy Lou, Mandy Lou,
Whaih our hands an' hea'ts are free,
Mandy Lou;
Whaih de sands is shinin' white,
Whaih de rivahs glistens bright,
Mandy Lou.
Come away to dreamland town,
Mandy Lou, Mandy Lou,
Whaih de fruit is bendin' down,
Des fu' you.
Smooth your brow of lovin' brown,
An' my love will be its crown;
Come away to dreamin' town,
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Magnetic Mandy
I wish I were handy as Arthur or Andy.
I ache to be Jake, Jack or Jim,
then there I’d be ready whenever, unsteady
she’d fall for a tall, fat, short ‘him’
For calling her bluff’s tough and rough everyday -
there are so many ways for a buff interplay.
None blame her enflaming magnetic advances
for guys’ mettle is me[n]tal and each takes his chances!
Oh Magnetic Mandy
though ever so handy
you’ll burn if you bandy
about with the boys!
Oh Magnetic Mandy
when will you, less randy,
grab well, fine and dandy,
resort more to candy -
all boys are not toys!
Oh Magnetic Mandy.
from France to Iran de-.....
lightful excuses she often employs.
delectable ruses she shares and enjoys,
as men blow their fuses she chooses coy ploys! .
Dear Mandy life’s facts
you need deeper explore?
Take your time and relax
or you’ll start feeling sore!
Relationships sickly you go through so quickly -
who’s choosing, who’s rusing? you skim,
skin deep, like a sweepstake, first laugh and then weep, make
mistakes, who wins, sins on a whim?
and though its exciting with hormones in play
must you rate all the ratings AND Captain today?
Now many fall, when black hole whole swallows?
How many recall then repeat to who follows.
if plane, arched, erect, or horizontal dances,
Few refuse your con…fusion, cued magnetic glances.
Oh Magnetic Mandy
eyes blue and hair sandy,
oh wouldn’t it grand be
instead of the brandy
or gin on the rocks,
you, Magnetic Mandy,
chose lemonade shandy
sought wisdom with Gandhi -
Modus operandi
less like weather…cocks?
We don’t want to stifle your urge for an eyeful
a stopper, - a whopper, - to dampen your fun
but if time you are spending on action unending
we are recommending you stick with just one
for a week – so to speak – till magnetic attraction
spins from pique to mystique and not mental abstraction.
Though waiting’s outrageous it can be courageous
and, too, advantageous, - contagIOUS.. I US!
*coda or decode her*
Most magnets rest best on fridge doors,
while pants and vests pressed detest floors,
so do not be sore,
if you would score more,
game on court, in court caught law line draws!
© Jonathan Robin – Parody written 22 March 2005 Parody T.S. Eliot MacCavity and Groucho Marx- Lewdia et al.
revised 16 September 2008 verse from France to Iran added
poem by Jonathan Robin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Mandy
I remember all my life
raining down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
a face through a window cryin' in the night,
the night goes into
Morning just another day;
happy people pass my way.
Looking in their eyes,
I see a memory I never realized how happy you made me.
Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!
I'm standing on the edge of time;
I've walked away when love was mine.
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing,
the tears are in my mind and nothin' is rhyming.
Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today.
Oh, Mandy!
Yesterday's a dream
I face the morning
Crying on a breeze
The pain is calling
Oh Mandy
Well, you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today Oh, Mandy
you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you
Oh, Mandy won't you listen to what I'm gonna say
Oh, Mandy don't you let me going all the way
Oh, Mandy won't you listen to what I'm gonna say
And I need you today
Oh, Mandy
song performed by by Westlife
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Im Mandy Fly Me
Just like a rollin stone
Im outside lookin in
But if your chance came would you take it
Where on earth do I begin
Im mandy fly me
Ive often heard her jingle
Its never struck a chord
With a smile as bright as sunshine
She called me through the poster
And welcomed me aboard
She led me she fed me
She read me like a book
But Im hiding in the small print
Wont you take another look
And take me away
Try me mandy fly me away
The world was spinning like a ball
And then it wasnt there at all
And as my heart began to fall
I saw her walking on the water
As the sharks were comin for me
I felt mandy pull me up give me the kiss of life
Just like the girl in dr. no no no no
Ah when they pulled me from the wreckage
And her body couldnt be found
Was it in my mind it seems
I had a crazy dream
I told them so but they said no no no no
I found me on a street
And starin at a wall
If it hadnt have been for mandy
Her promise up above me
Well I wouldnt be here at all
So if youre travellin in the sky
Dont be surprised if someone said hi
Im mandy fly me
song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lady Day
When she walked on down the street
She was like a child staring at her feet
But when she passed the bar
And she heard the music play
She had to go in and sing
It had to be that way
She had to go in and sing
It had to be that way
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
After the applause had died down
And the people drifted away
She climbed down off the bar
And went out the door
To the hotel
That she called home
It had greenish walls
A bathroom in the hall
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
...
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Have A Drink On Me
Whiskey, gin and brandy
With a glass Im pretty handy
Im trying to walk a straight line
On sour mash and cheap wine
So join me for a drink boys
Were gonna make a big noise
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Come on
Dizzy, drunk and fightin
On tequila white lightnin
My glass is getting shorter
On whiskey, ice and water
So come on and have a good time
And get blinded out of your mind
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Get stoned
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Come on
Oooh
Gonna roll around
Gonna hit the ground
Take another swing
Have another drink
Gonna drink it dry
Gonna get me high
Come on all the boys
Make a noise
Chorus
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink oooooooon me
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Mandy
I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
A face through a window cryin in the night,
The night goes into
Morning just another day;
Happy people pass my way.
Looking in their eyes,
I see a memory I never realized
How happy you made me.
Oh mandy well,
You came and you gave without taking,
But I sent you away.
Oh, mandy well,
Kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
And I need you today. oh, mandy!
Im standing on the edge of time;
Ive walked away when love was mine.
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing,
The tears are in my mind
And nothin in rhyming.
Oh mandy well,
You came and you gave without taking,
But I sent you away.
Oh, mandy well,
Kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
And I need you today. oh, mandy!
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Pre-Departure Drinks
preparing getting ready to go out
the young lady gleefully exclaimed
'time to get ready to go out
i have only had one drink
and i feel drunk already'
'only had 1 drink and i feel drunk'
that happens when you drink
a whole large bottle of gin
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Little Lady Love
Oh yeah x 5
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
We maybe young
But only for a while
I may look brave
But boy thats just my style
Taken from my teens
But feeding from the tears
Falling with the love
Ive holding back the years
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
The miracle of love
Is something Ive observed
And speaking for myself
Is something Ill preserve
Until I feel my way
Along the sticky road
Ill save the miracle
Im gonna take it slow
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Lady love, lady love
Lady love, lady love
Lady love, lady love
Lady love, lady love, love
I think Ive been seperate
Makes it so desperate
I think Ill moderate
Better to wait, its favourite
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Lady love, lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah x2
song performed by by Sugababes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Let Us Live, My Lady, When We Are Young
Tomorrow I may die young lady,
And reduced to dust may be lost in dust:
Therefore let us live when we are young
And taste of life what it offers us:
The morrow may offer nothing to us,
It is the present that matters most
When you are young and budding like a rose.
Tomorrow this beauteous figure may fade
Time my lady shall not wait
And meanwhile youth shall pass.
Let us live, my lady, when we are young;
When my heart aches at missing your sight;
When with warmth I can clasp you in my arms;
When you are rich in your figure
When your touch sends ripples through my body
When your kiss makes life worth living,
Let us live, my lady, when we are young.
Your Ole Handy Man
I have to mow the lawn
And i have to wash the car
And i'd just like to know
Just who you think you are
I'm gettin' tired of wagging
That old heavy garbage can
Your woman's gettin' tired
Of being your ole handy man
I have to run your water
And i have to wash your back
And i have to scrub the tub
After you have had your bath
You're as helpless as a baby
But i love you, understand
I'm just gettin' tired
Of being your ole handy man
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Now i know you've got ten fingers
But where's your helpin' hand
I've just made a decision
I've stood all i'm gonna stand
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
I do everything for you
You never help yourself
An' i think i'd die from shock
If you raised a hand to help
Well, i'm not gonna keep it up
That's what you got planned
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Now i know you got ten fingers
But where's that helpin' hand
I've just made a decision
I've stood all i'm gonna stand
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
Tag:
Your woman's gettin' tired of being your ole handy man
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Inside Sing Sing With Mandy Cupcakes
Inside sing sing with Mandy Cupcakes
(called honey)
Her iced buns and sweet slices used to rake in the money
Then one day in June that was particularly sunny
She decided to kill off her daddy and mummy and sandy her bunny
After a long day in detention stuck in the refectory
Where she watched Ada the cook knock up a confectionary
Giant cupcake that rose to the ceiling
Showered in chocolate that sent Mandy's heart reeling
Armed with the cakes plus a nasty suprise
She pushed in some stardust cocaine and gin
Which she swapped for a doughnut with a deliquent called JIM
Then feeling frustrated by being kept in
She fed her parents the cake with some tea
Until they collapsed senseless before the T.V
Then cupcakes when missing to cook up more cakes
And knocked off a choir and a whole village fete
And it was no suprise that her cakes won first prize
But no one was left to present her the prize
When the cops arrived they could not believe their eyes
Mandy lay weeping overcome by great grief
But a homicidal urge made her suddenly squeak
As she held out a cupcake in the palm of her hand
'You must be famished do you want some thing to eat'
The sergeant declined, but had a quick peek
Then took Mandy to prison in sing sing she stays
And dreams of dark cupcakes laced with deadly nightshade!
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
B.e.c.e.
The Headmaster wrote the exams (B.E.C.E.) for the young lady!
And like roasting his meat and eating it full;
But to the watery deep he was caught by the law.
This was like the labour of Egypt and the merchandise of Ethiopia,
But the Headmaster wrote the exams (B.E.C.E.) for this young lady!
And he was caught by the law at long last.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Old Man So Young
Old man so young
Old tricks, new belt, old bag o’ nails
New shoes, same feet, now going flat
To me, a young man, so full of heart
An old man full of himself, just hisself
Old man so young
Old skin, new cells, old bag o’ bones
New hat, same eyes, now needing sight
To me, a young hero, rising from scarring fights
A rich man full of himself, just hisself
Old man so young
Old voice, new teeth, old bag o’ sand
New hip, same dance, soul in his veins
To me, a young baron, whose time will long reign
An epic full of himself, just hisself
030108
poem by Sylvi Sylva
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Lady Godiva
Her name was Lady Godiva
A lady so brave and so strong
Her husband the Earl of Mercia
He treated her terribly wrong
She's a lady
She's a lady
She rode naked on horseback
To stop him from his tax increase
But people in town closed their curtains
Than prison for living in peace
*She's a lady
She's a lady
She's a lady, Lady Godiva
The hero of Coventry
L-L-Lady Lady Godiva
She rode into history
Then sneaking a glance through the window
Was a guy they called Peeping Tom
He caught a glimpse and was blinded
Curiosity sometimes is wrong
*(repeat)
People liked Lady Godiva
Respectfully looking away
They honoured incredible courage
Her legend lives until today
*(repeat, repeat
song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
quote by W.C. Fields
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
quote by W.C. Fields
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.
quote by W.C. Fields
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!