ER DUELLO DE DAVIDE (David's Duel)
Cos'è er braccio de Dio! mannà un fischietto
Contr'a quer buggiarone de Golìa,
Che si n'avessi avuto fantasia
Lo poteva ammazzà cor un fichetto!
Eppuro, accusì è. Dio benedetto
Vorze mostrà ppe tutta la Giudia,
Che chi è divoto de Gesù e Maria
Po' stà cor un gigante appett'appetto.
Ar vede un pastorello co la fionna,
Strillò Golìa, sartanno in piede: "Oh cazzo!
Stavorta, fijo mio, l'hai fatta tonna".
Ma er fatto annò ch'er povero regazzo,
Grazzie all'anime sante e a la Madonna,
Lo fece cascà giù come un pupazzo.
English
How powerful is God's hand! to send a child
Against that huge Goliath,
Who could have killed him with a cuff,
If only he had wished to!
But this is how it went. The holy God
Wanted to show throughout the land of Judaea,
That he who is devout to Jesus and Mary
Has the same strength of a giant.
In seeing a young shepherd with a sling,
Goliath jumped to his feet, shouting: "Damn!
This time, my son, you've really done it".
But it turned out that the poor boy,
Thanks to the blessed souls [1] and to Our Lady,
Made him fall down like a puppet.
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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ER LOGOTENENTE (The Lieutenant)
Come intese a ciarlà der cavalletto,
Presto io curze dar zor Logotenente:
"Mi' marito... Eccellenza... è un poveretto
Pe carità... Ché nun ha ffatto gnente".
Dice: "Mettet'a ssede". Io me ce metto.
Lui cor un zenno manna via la gente:
Po' me s'accosta: "Dimme un po' gruggnetto,
Tu' marito lo vòi reo o innocente?"
"Innocente", dich'io; e lui: "Ciò gusto"
E detto-fatto quer faccia d'abbreo
Me schiaffa la man-dritta drent'ar busto.
Io sbarzo in piede, e strillo: "Eh sor cazzeo..."
E lui: "Fijola, quer ch'è giusto è giusto:
Annate via: vostro marito è reo".
English
As soon as I heard about the judicial punishment [1]
I hurried to the Lieutenant:
"Your Excellency, my husband is a poor fellow...
For goodness sake...he didn't do anything wrong".
He says: "Sit down". I sit.
He waves the other people away:
Then he comes close to me: "Now tell me, pretty face,
Do you want your husband guilty or innocent?"
"Innocent" I say; he says: "I'm glad";
And straight away that loathsome fellow [2]
Tucks his right hand inside my corset.
I jump up, and shout: "Hey you fool..."
He says: "My dear, fair's fair:
Go away: your husband's guilty".
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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ER ZAGRIFIZZIO D'ABBRAMO III (Abraham's Sacrifice 3)
"Pacenza", dice Isacco ar zu' padraccio,
Se butta s'una pietra inginocchione,
E quer boja de padre arza er marraccio
Tra cap'e collo ar povero cojone.
"Fermete, Abbramo: nun calà quer braccio",
Strilla un Angiolo allora da un cantone:
"Dio te vorze provà co sto setaccio..."
Bee, bee... Chi è quest'antro! è un pecorone.
Inzomma, amici cari, io già sso' stracco
D'ariccontavve er fatto a la distesa.
La pecora morì: fu sarvo Isacco:
E quella pietra che m'avete intesa
Mentovà ssur più bello de l'acciacco,
Sta a Roma, in Borgo-novo, in d'una chiesa.
English
"I resign myself", said Isaac to his evil father,
Dropping to his knees over a stone,
And that wicked father raised the knife [1]
Over the neck of the poor fool.
"Stop, Abraham: don't let your arm down",
Cried an Angel from a corner:
"God wanted to put you to the test..."
Baa, baa... Who's there! a ram.
In conclusion, dear friends, I'm now tired
of telling you the story in full.
The ram died: Isaac was saved:
And that stone you heard me mention
At the crucial stage of this abuse,
Is in Rome, in Borgo Nuovo, in a church [2] .
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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ER ZAGRIFIZZIO D'ABBRAMO II (Abraham's Sacrifice 2)
Doppo fatta un boccon de colazzione
Partirno tutt'e quattro a giorno chiaro,
E camminorno sempre in orazzione
Pe quarche mijo ppiù der centinaro.
"Semo arrivati: alò", disse er vecchione,
"Incollete er fascetto, fijo caro",
Poi, vortannose in là, fece ar garzone:
"Aspettateme qui voi cor zomaro".
Saliva Isacco, e diceva: "Papà,
Ma diteme, la vittima indov'è"?
E lui j'arisponneva: "Un po' ppiù in là".
Ma quanno finarmente furno sù,
Strillò Abbramo ar fijolo: "Isacco, a tte,
Faccia a tterra: la vittima sei tu".
English
II
After having a little breakfast
All four of them left at dawn,
And walked in prayer
A bit further than one hundred miles.
"Here we are: come on", said the old man,
"Take the bundle, dear son",
Then, turning towards the servant, he told him:
"You wait here with the donkey".
While climbing, Isaac asked: "Daddy,
Tell me, where's the victim?"
And he answered: "A bit further on".
But when they finally reached the top,
Abraham cried to his son: "Isaac, it's up to you,
Lay face down: you are the victim".
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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LA CREAZZIONE DER MONNO (The Creation of The World)
L'anno che Gesucristo impastò er monno,
Ché pe impastallo già c'era la pasta,
Verde lo vorze fà, grosso e ritonno,
All'uso d'un cocommero de tasta.
Fece un zole, una luna e un mappamonno,
Ma de le stelle poi dì una catasta:
Su ucelli, bestie immezzo, e pesci in fonno:
Piantò le piante, e doppo disse: "Abbasta".
Me scordavo de dì che creò l'omo,
E coll'omo la donna, Adamo e Eva;
E je proibbì de nun toccaje un pomo.
Ma appena che a maggnà l'ebbe viduti,
Strillò per dio con quanta voce aveva:
"Ommini da vienì, sete futtuti"
English
The year Jesus Christ kneaded the world,
The stuff for doing so was already there,
He wanted it to be green, big and round,
Like a ripe water-melon.
He made a sun, a moon and a globe,
And a real multitude of stars:
Birds up, animals midway, and fishes at the bottom:
He planted plants, and then said: "That's enough".
I forgot to say that he created man,
And, with man, woman too, Adam and Eve;
And he forbade them to touch a fruit.
But as soon as he saw them eating,
By God, he shouted as loud as he could:
"People to come, you're in trouble".
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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The ABC
'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"
Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"
"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."
C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."
"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."
"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.
"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."
X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."
poem by Spike Milligan
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LA PORTERIA DER CONVENTO (The Monastery's Porter)
Dico: "Se pò pparlà cor padr'Ilario?"
Dice: "Per oggi no, perché confessa". --
"E doppo confessato?" -- "Ha da dì messa". --
"E doppo detto messa?" -- "Cià er breviario".
Dico: "Fate er zervizzio, fra Maccario,
D'avvisallo ch'è cosa ch'interessa".
Dice: "Ah, qualunque cosa oggi è l'istessa,
Perché nun pò lassà er confessionario".
"Pacenza", dico: "j'avevo portata,
Pe quell'affare che v'avevo detto,
Ste poche libbre qui de cioccolata...".
Dice: "Aspettate, fijo benedetto,
Pe via che, quanno è ppropio una chiamata
De premura, lui viè: mo ciarifretto".
English
I said [1] : "May I speak to father Hillary?"
He said: "Not today: he administers confession". --
"And after confession?" -- "He must say mass". --
"And after saying mass?" -- "He'll say the breviary".
I said: "Do me a favour, friar Maccario,
Tell him it's something that might interest him".
He said: "Ah, today anything would be just the same,
Because he can't leave the confessional".
"Never mind", I said: "because of that
Business I had mentioned you, I had brought him
These few pounds of chocolate..."
He said: "Wait, my dear,
Because when it's really an urgent matter
He does come, I'll think about it".
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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Another Acrostic ( In the style of Father William )
"Are you deaf, Father William!" the young man said,
"Did you hear what I told you just now?
"Excuse me for shouting! Don't waggle your head
"Like a blundering, sleepy old cow!
"A little maid dwelling in Wallington Town,
"Is my friend, so I beg to remark:
"Do you think she'd be pleased if a book were sent down
"Entitled 'The Hunt of the Snark?'"
"Pack it up in brown paper!" the old man cried,
"And seal it with olive-and-dove.
"I command you to do it!" he added with pride,
"Nor forget, my good fellow to send her beside
"Easter Greetings, and give her my love."
poem by Lewis Carroll
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Sonnet V: Nothing But No
Nothing but "No," and "Aye," and "Aye," and "No"?
How falls it out so strangely you reply?
I tell ye, Fair, I'll not be answer'd so,
With this affirming "No," denying "Aye."
I say, "I love," you slightly answer "Aye";
I say, "You love," you pule me out a "No";
I say, "I die," you echo me an "Aye";
"Save me," I cry, you sigh me out a "No";
Must woe and I have nought but "No" and "Aye"?
No I am I, if I no more can have;
Answer no more, with silence make reply,
And let me take myself what I do crave.
Let "No" and "Aye" with I and you be so;
Then answer "No," and "Aye," and "Aye" and "No."
poem by Michael Drayton
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LA SCERTA (The Choice)
Sta accusì. La padrona cor padrone,
Volenno marità la padroncina
Je portonno davanti una matina,
Pe sceje, du' bravissime perzone.
Un de li dua aveva una ventina
D'anni, e du' spalle peggio de Sanzone;
E l'antro lo diceveno un riccone
Ma aveva un po' la testa cennerina.
Subbito er giuvinotto de quer paro
Se fece avanti a dì: "Sora Lucia,
Chi volete de noi? parlate chiaro".
"Pe dilla, me piacete voi e lui",
Rispose la zitella; "e ppijerìa
Er cicio vostro e li quadrini sui".
English
This is how it went. My master and mistress,
Wishing to have their daughter married
One morning brought in front of her
Two very respectable persons to choose.
One of the two was about twenty
Years old, and had shoulders wider than Samson's;
While the other one was known as a rich man
But had a few grey hair.
Immediately the young man of the couple
Started saying: "Miss Lucy,
Who of us do you want? speak frankly".
"Really, I like both of you",
Answered the girl [1] ; "and I would take
Your tool [2] and his money".
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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There was one I met upon the road
There was one I met upon the road
Who looked at me with kind eyes.
He said, "Show me of your wares."
And this I did,
Holding forth one.
He said, "It is a sin."
Then held I forth another;
He said, "It is a sin."
Then held I forth another;
He said, "It is a sin."
And so to the end;
Always he said, "It is a sin."
And, finally, I cried out,
"But I have none other."
Then did he look at me
With kinder eyes.
"Poor soul!" he said.
poem by Stephen Crane
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My Fairy
I have a fairy by my side
Which says I must not sleep,
When once in pain I loudly cried
It said "You must not weep"
If, full of mirth, I smile and grin,
It says "You must not laugh"
When once I wished to drink some gin
It said "You must not quaff".
When once a meal I wished to taste
It said "You must not bite"
When to the wars I went in haste
It said "You must not fight".
"What may I do?" at length I cried,
Tired of the painful task.
The fairy quietly replied,
And said "You must not ask".
Moral: "You mustn't."
poem by Lewis Carroll
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The New Knighthood
Who gives him the Bath?
"I," said the wet,
Rank-Jungle-sweat,
"I'll give him the Bath!"
Who'll sing the psalms?
"We," said the Palms.
"Ere the hot wind becalms,
"We'll sing the psalms."
Who lays on the sword ?
"I," said the Sun,
Before he has done,
"I'll lay on the sword."
"Who fastens his belt?
"I," said Short-Rations,
" I know all the fashions
"Of tightening a belt!"
Who gives him his spur?
"I," said his Chief,
Exacting and brief,
"I'll give him the spur."
Who'll shake his hand?
"I," said the Fever,
"And I'm no deceiver,
"I'll shake his hand."
Who brings him the wine?
"I," said Quinine,
"It's a habit of mine.
"I'11 come with his wine."
Who'll put him to proof?
"I," said All Earth.
"Whatever he's worth,
"I'll put to the proof."
Who'll choose him for Knight?
"I," said his Mother,
"Before any other,
"My very own Knight."
And after this fashion, adventure to seek,
Sir Galahad was made--as it might be last week!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
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You're right—
234
You're right—"the way is narrow"—
And "difficult the Gate"—
And "few there be"—Correct again—
That "enter in—thereat"—
'Tis Costly—So are purples!
'Tis just the price of Breath—
With but the "Discount" of the Grave—
Termed by the Brokers—"Death"!
And after that—there's Heaven—
The Good Man's—"Dividend"—
And Bad Men—"go to Jail"—
I guess—
poem by Emily Dickinson
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What is—
215
What is—"Paradise"—
Who live there—
Are they "Farmers"—
Do they "hoe"—
Do they know that this is "Amherst"—
And that I—am coming—too—
Do they wear "new shoes"—in "Eden"—
Is it always pleasant—there—
Won't they scold us—when we're homesick—
Or tell God—how cross we are—
You are sure there's such a person
As "a Father"—in the sky—
So if I get lost—there—ever—
Or do what the Nurse calls "die"—
I shan't walk the "Jasper"—barefoot—
Ransomed folks—won't laugh at me—
Maybe—"Eden" a'n't so lonesome
As New England used to be!
poem by Emily Dickinson
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My Friend, The Parking Lot Attendant
—he's a dandy
—small moustache
—usually sucking on a cigar
he tends to lean into cars as he
transacts business
first time I met him, he said,
"hey! ya gonna make a
killin'?"
"maybe," I answered.
next meeting it was:
"hey, Ramrod! what's
happening?"
"very little," I told
him.
next time I had my girlfriend with me
and he just
grinned.
next time I was
alone.
"hey," he asked, "where's the young
chick?"
"I left her at home...."
"Bullshit! I'll bet she dumped
you!"
and the next time
he really leaned into the car:
"what's a guy like you doing driving a
BMW! I'll bet you inherited your
money, you didn't get this car with your
brains!"
"how'd you guess?" I
answered.
that was some weeks ago.
I haven't seen him lately.
feIlow like that, chances are he just moved on
to better
things.
poem by Charles Bukowski
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Us Two
Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh:
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.
"Let's go together," says Pooh.
"What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh.
("Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.)
"I think it ought to be twenty-two."
"Just what I think myself," said Pooh.
"It wasn't an easy sum to do,
But that's what it is," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what it is," said Pooh.
"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few-
"Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh.
"As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That's what they are," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what they are," said Pooh.
"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
"That's right," said Pooh to Me.
"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!
Silly old dragons!"- and off they flew.
"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,
"I'm never afraid with you."
So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said: "True,
It isn't much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he. "That's how it is," says Pooh.
poem by Alan Alexander Milne
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LI SPIRITI IV (Ghosts 4)
Un mese, o ppoco ppiù, doppo er guadaggno
De la piastra, che ffece er zanto prete,
Venne la pasqua, e 'r gabbiano che ssapete
Cominciò a lavorà de scacciaraggno.
"Ch'edè? Un bucio ar zolaro! Oh, pprete caggno",
Fece allora er babbeo che conoscete:
"Eccolo indove vanno le monete!
Va che lo scudo mio cerca er compaggno?"
Doppo infatti du' notte de respiro,
Ecchete la Badessa della muffa
A daje giù cor zolito sospiro.
"Sor don Libborio mio, basta una fuffa",
Strillò quello; "e le messe, pe sto giro,
Si le volete dì, ditele auffa".
English
About one month, or slightly more, after
the holy priest's profit of one shilling,
Easter came, and the aforesaid fool
Began cleaning his house [2] .
"What's this? A hole in the ceiling! Oh, damned priest",
Said the fool you know:
"This is where my money goes!
I bet that my shilling is going to double" [3] .
And actually after two nights of rest,
There goes the old Abbess again
Whith the usual sigh.
"Father Liborio, one trick's enough"
He cried; "and this time,
If you want to say mass, say mass for free".
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
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You Are Old Father William
"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
Do you think, at your age, it is right?
"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."
"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door --
Pray what is the reason for that?"
"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment -- one shilling a box --
Allow me to sell you a couple?"
"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak --
Pray, how did you mange to do it?"
"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as every;
Yet you balanced an eel on the tend of your nose --
What made you so awfully clever?"
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.
poem by Lewis Carroll
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My Future
"Let's make him a sailor," said Father,
"And he will adventure the sea."
"A soldier," said Mother, "is rather
What I would prefer him to be."
"A lawyer," said Father, "would please me,
For then he could draw up my will."
"A doctor," said Mother, "would ease me;
Maybe he could give me a pill."
Said Father: "Lt's make him a curate,
A Bishop in gaiters to be."
Said Mother: "I couldn't endure it
To have Willie preaching to me."
Said Father: ""Let him be a poet;
So often he's gathering wool."
Said Mother with temper: "Oh stow it!
You know it, a poet's a fool."
Said Farther: "Your son is a duffer,
A stupid and mischievous elf."
Said Mother, who's rather a huffer:
"That's right - he takes after yourself."
Controlling parental emotion
They turned to me, seeking a cue,
And sudden conceived the bright notion
To ask what I wanted to do.
Said I: "my ambition is modest:
A clown in a circus I'd be,
And turn somersaults in the sawdust
With audience laughing at me."
. . . Poor parents! they're dead and decaying,
But I am a clown as you see;
And though in no circus I'm playing,
How people are laughing at me!
poem by Robert William Service
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He forgot—and I—remembered
203
He forgot—and I—remembered—
'Twas an everyday affair—
Long ago as Christ and Peter—
"Warmed them" at the "Temple fire."
"Thou wert with him"—quoth "the Damsel"?
"No"—said Peter, 'twasn't me—
Jesus merely "looked" at Peter—
Could I do aught else—to Thee?
poem by Emily Dickinson
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