Philosopher Bimm
Republicans think Jonas Bimm
A Democrat gone mad,
And Democrats consider him
Republican and bad.
The Tough reviles him as a Dude
And gives it him right hot;
The Dude condemns his crassitude
And calls him _sans culottes.
Derided as an Anglophile
By Anglophobes, forsooth,
As Anglophobe he feels, the while,
The Anglophilic tooth.
The Churchman calls him Atheist;
The Atheists, rough-shod,
Have ridden o'er him long and hissed
'The wretch believes in God!'
The Saints whom clergymen we call
Would kill him if they could;
The Sinners (scientists and all)
Complain that he is good.
All men deplore the difference
Between themselves and him,
And all devise expedients
For paining Jonas Bimm.
I too, with wild demoniac glee,
Would put out both his eyes;
For Mr. Bimm appears to me
Insufferably wise!
poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Related quotes
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
quote by Will Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
quote by Ambrose Bierce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.
quote by Brian Celio
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Dump The Dude
Hey girl, I wanna give you some friendly advice
Hes got you cryin, oh hes done it again
Hes made a date and he didnt show
You know hes done this to you so many times
When you gonna let him go
He doesnt treat you little a lover should
He could be so downright cruel
Cant understand why youre hangin with him
Girl, dont you be a fool
Go on and dump the dude
You know hes got a rotten attitude
He always leaves you in a cryin mood
Take my advice, dont you think twice
Listen to what Im telling you
Go on and dump the dude
You know that weve been friends for so many years
And Ive never ever seen you this way
So torn apart, how he gets to your heart
With all the little games that he plays
Just give him up, get him out of your life
Promise me that once and for all
Youre gonna tell him that its over and done
The very next time he calls, aint you now
Dump the dude
You know hes got a rotten attitude
He always leaves you in a cryin mood
Take my advice, find somebody nice
Listen to what Im telling you
Go on and dump the dude
Girl, I know you may think this is none of my business
But the fact that were friends I believe that makes it my business
I care about you but I aint preachin
I think you should dump the dude
I dont know why youd want to settle for less
When you could have so much more
You know that you deserve only the best
So what are you waiting for?
Go on and dump the dude
You know hes got a rotten attitude
He always leaves you in a cryin mood
Take my advice, dont you think twice
Find yourself somebody nice
Go on and dump the dude
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Saints An Sinners
(coverdale/lord/moody/marsden/murray/paice)
Get ready for judgement day
An the final curtain call,
Dont lie when you testify
cos the good lord know youre all
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves,
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves
When moses stood on the red sea shore
Laying the law on the line,
He said dont come knocking
On the pearly gates
If all you did was have a real good time
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves,
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves
For what we are about to receive
May the lord make us truly thankful.
Saints an sinners
I stand guilty of a thousand crimes,
An I suffer temptation still,
Show me a man who wont give it to his woman
An Ill show you somebody who will
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves,
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves
For what we are about to receive
May the lord make us truly thankful
Saints an sinners,
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves,
Get ready for judgement day
An the final curtain call,
Dont lie when you testify
cos the good lord know youre all
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves,
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves
For what we are about to receive
May the lord make us truly thankful
Saints an sinners, priests an thieves
Saints an sinners...
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jonas Psalter
Written by dennis deyoung
Lead vocals by james young
When captain jonas psalter
Sailed his ship to sea
Anne bonny kept him company
The skull and crossbones flew
Above the ocean blue
The captains men where a pirates crew
The ships they sought to take
Were of the spanish main
A gift from ferdinand of spain
And though you rob and kill to find your dream
Your crimes are hardly what they seem
Tortuga held the treasure of a thousand kings
So jonas planned to steal everything
Two hundred men stood guard
Around the fortunes nest
But psalters steel slew all the rest
And when the smoke had cleared
And bloody bodies lay
Everyone could hear the minstrel play
Woo woo jonas psalter
Youve captured every prize
There is to dream of in one life
And so we wonder why
We found you in your bed
With that bullet in your head
song performed by by Styx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dude
Cruised into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced a grime on his door
She a long lost love at first sight
Baby, mabye you're wrong
But you know it's all right - that's right
Back stage we're having the time
Of our lives until somebody says
'forgive me if i seem out of line'
Then she whipped out a gun
Tried to blow me away
(chorus)
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
Dude looks like a lady
So never judge a book by its cover
Or who you gonna love by your lover
Love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a venus
Lord, imagine my surprise
(chorus)
(baby let me follow you down)
Let me take a peak dear
(baby let me follow you down)
Do me, do me, do me all night
(baby let me follow you down)
Turn the other cheek dear
(baby let me follow you down)
Do me, do me, do me, sue me
What a funky lady
Oh, she like it, like it, like it, like it
Oh, he was a lady
(repeat chorus)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I became a Republican when a very wise young lady asked me how I could remain a Democrat when I didn't agree with what they stood for and did agree with what the Republicans supported.
quote by Jesse Helms
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Late Night Rubbish
Why am I up said the man
Sleep calls me but I remain silent
Like death at a party
Only alil heavier
Maybe it's all the hair
Then again
Maybe it's all the stress
Built up like a skyscraper
Only I don't touch the sky
I only dream of doing that
Ill scrape the sky clean and move on to outer space
Where being alone
Is nature
Do I belong with the stars?
Doomed to one day destroy myself
And everything close by?
Naw
I belong where I am
To make a difference
Without me the world would be different
How?
I can't explain
But the you in a different
Universe could
And should
In a universe somewhere
I know I am king
Which makes me royalty
Not like the burger guy
More like the
Kill hundreds of people dude
And conquer
And conquest
Only to be assassinated
But by that time
I'd be ready
Who better to kill a king then himself?
The throne dies with me
But enough of that
Multiverse a can be confusing
Maybe I'm the universe where I'm ugly
Depressing
But if that is true
It must be the universe where
I'm confident also
Unless
I'm in distress
I do confess
When I stay up thoughts get deep
I wish there was less evil and more good
I can't sleep
But I wish I could.
poem by Jeremy Rascon
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The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
quote by Oscar Levant
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I'm like a bunch of college guys who got together and said, 'Let's make a dude, a crazy dude'.
quote by Chris Kirkpatrick
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Wild & Crazy Dude
You may think me insensitive 'n rude
Unaware I’m just a wild 'n crazy dude
So don’t get tough 'n give me attitude
Get over my talking a wee bit crude
I ask from you kind sir some latitude
ROTMS
poem by Ray Lucero
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Sunshine
Am I too contagious
Full of sick desire
Am I that I promise
Burning corpsed pyre
Then some dude came down to touch the mother
Mother touched, and dude aint here no more
Am I your reflection
Melting mirror smile
Am I worth the value
Do my love defile
Then some dude came down to touch the mother
Mother touched and dude aint here no more
Aint no day the sun dont crack
Try brand some name across my back so you care?
Find someone to tell you
Chorus
Sunshine...sweet love my labor
Dont mind...i dont care no more
Can you face the queston?
Is my soul entire?
Chorus
song performed by by Alice In Chains
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Republican consciousness has no integrity and it falls apart once you check it out. If you're a Christian, why would you want to fry this dude?
3 Elephants Sue Republican Party
Elephants of the world have issued a press release.. an intention
to sue the Republican Party over using them as a symbol.
Their spokesperson states that no political party in the US has
ever harmed them more than Republicans whose trophy hunting
ivory seeking idle rich pleasure jaunt safaris with machine guns
and aerial hunting candidates such as Sarah Palin have decimated
elephant numbers.
The long memoried pachyderms know that the party of petroplutocrats
chose them for their size to give the false impression
that Republicans, less than 25% of the population, have more power than Democrats.
Republicans have won power through deflecting people's attention to
illegal wars, through murder (Kennedy's, King,
Wellstone, Callahan etc) , through bribery and 20,000 kinds of tricks.
*************************
55% of the country is unregistered. Of the remaining 45%,3/5 or
60% are independent or third party (Greens, Socialists, Libertarians,
Constitution Party, etc.) . Of the remaining 18%, over 2/3 are Democrats.
poem by O. Anna Niemus
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An Atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An atheist believes that deed must be done instead of prayer said. An atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanished, war eliminated.
quote by Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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My entire family were Democrats all our lives. But because how furious I was about the previous administration, I turned in my card to become a Republican. I did not want to be known as a Democrat under that person's regime.
quote by Danny Aiello
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A Democrat has to show the toughness to govern. People don't doubt that Republicans will be tough.
praise the Lord (and lil' mangie)
Praise the Lord!
I’ve got a lil' dog with a bad case of mange
And here’s where my story starts getting strange
Had the ‘lil mangy dude out for a walk
When two Hispanic women started to gawk
They gave ‘lil mangy dude a long onceover
Saw in his mottled hide the face of Jehovah
Declared ‘lil mangy dude a sign from the lord
While ‘lil mangy and I thought they were out of their gourd
They followed me home and set up a shrine
Pretty soon the faithful started formin’ a line
I was set to go out and start kickin’ some ass
Until I noticed the money lying in the grass
Lil’ mangy and I weren’t gonna let this get by us
Suddenly seized by the spirit, we became real pious
Lil’ mangy and I feel exceptional zeal
While fervently praying…
His mange doesn’t heal
poem by David Whalen
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Hangin Tough
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(rap:) just get on the floor and do the new kids dance.
Dont worry bout nothing cause it wont take long.
(rap:) were gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, cause you gotta be
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybodys always talkin bout whos on top.
(rap:) dont cross our path cause youre gonna get stomped.
We aint gonna give anybody any slack.
(rap:) and if you try to keep us down were gonna come right back,
And you know were
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Get loose everybody cause were gonna do our thing.
(rap:) cause you know it aint over till the fat lady sings.
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin tough.
(repeat & fade)
song performed by by New Kids On The Block
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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