With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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Related quotes
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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'The Mark' I played a psychiatrist. And in the '50's everybody went to a psychiatrist because if you didn't, you'd have nothing to talk about at cocktail parties.
quote by Rod Steiger
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If I had my way everyone would have a psychiatrist. When the brain is sick and you must throw up, you do it by being purged in a psychiatrist's office.
quote by Hedy Lamarr
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In My Head
In my head
voices speak,
Ingrid says,
each one suggesting
different things,
proposing I do this
or that, each voice
distinct from the other.
The Psychiatrist
pares his nails,
gazes at the photo
of his wife and kids,
the silver frame,
the wife with that stupid grin,
and the voice of Ingrid
grating on his ears,
like some whiny cat
shut out in the night
with the heavy rain.
In my head,
Ingrid says,
voices are beginning again.
poem by Terry Collett
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Insomnia
The old retired psychiatrist
Professor 'Euphoria' who awakes in the middle of the night.
Nowadays he was copying Idioms.
He complains of an acute pain in his body.
But he is not aware of the exact place.
He visits a young dentist Dr.So-Called
and forced him to extract his cavity tooth?
He did a thorough check and found it was a denture.
Then he said 'Nothing wrong with your teeth
anyhow I'll refer you to the prominent psychiatrist Professor Euphoria?
I have heard about him and his talents
from my patients'.
To poet Martin.Turner
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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The dress rehearsal
When the velvet curtain calls the dim lights came up
And he pushed ahead to the middle of the stage in the rotunda theatre.
He became the crown prince and the crown princess waited aside
with her new netting costume.
The happy audience clapped and whistled.
When the interval bell rang the prince went to the rest room for a make up.
'Hey! My naughty darling sleepwalker;
I couldn't sleep the whole night, please get ready to see the psychiatrist again in the morning.' His wife grumbled.
'Nobody knows that I was a crown prince once.' he muttered himself.
* By all means marry; If you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
quote by Joey Adams
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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
quote by Joey Adams
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Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist - whatever.
Every Move You Make
I will always be your friend!
But...
I will not always be accepting,
Of those things you do!
If you are seeking those who will approve,
Every move you make...
To constantly give you a boost,
To make you feel okay about everything you do...
You need to schedule visits to see a psychiatrist.
And I am sure with each visit...
That psychiatrist will show you,
Just how patient they are with you too.
With an expectation of payment.
I will always be your friend!
But...
I will not always be accepting,
Of those things you do!
And you wont have to pay me a thing,
To tell you when or when you are not...
Doing those things that are not suitable or 'cool'.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Family life
At home
Husband
And wife...
Some time fighting...
Word's to words...
With bad words...
Sometime hit
The husband wife
Mistakes...
Wife was crying...
Husband was woory...
Wife also
Lovingely hit...
Husband also take easy...
At night husband
Wanted wife
For sex...
Wife will say
Backpain acting
Going for
Hear with life
Every day
At familylife...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Wife- better half of life
Wife is the better half of life
Give wife love affection as soul-mate
Wife is not glorified maid as said
Wife do not want money salary honorarium
Do not make hulla gulla and do not beat drum.
Mian bibi relationship should not be commercialized
Third party intervention in family relation vandalized.
Wife is not a domestic labourer
Wife is backbone of the family
The maile stone of the family
Wife is the torchlight of the family
Wife is the colorful star
Do no put any question to her.
Wife is there to give everything
Wife is not to take anything in return
Wife is the goddess.
Only mad man can say wife is a domestic servant
Make wife a wife life-partner better half
And enjoy life freely.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Wedding Band
Joey Wedding Band
JoAnn was the birth name of my wife
To me Joey was her name for a lot of our married life
One of the best things anyone could ask for in life
Is to have a good and loving wife
When it comes time for me to pass no matter day or night
I hope and pray that my wife will be my guiding light
I did not complement my wife as much as I could of
But with all my heart I gave her my love
My wife is in heaven watching over our family
Hoping we could be the best we could be
I am now living by myself and on my own
I have my dogs and my family but I feel alone
I never thought I knew how bad pain could ever be
Until my wife died and left me
At times my wife lets me know she is near
She turns off the picture frame to let me know she is here
On a chain around my neck I wear my wife’s wedding band
I also still wear mine on the finger of my left hand
To anyone who reads this poem do not let the time with your family go
Everything is gone before you know
poem by Michael Gelb
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Free Round Trip Tickets
Those in search and seeking explanations,
For hints or clues as to what is going on today.
Are in need of one thing...
Free round trip tickets,
To their favorite amusement park.
With accomodations for two.
And one is required to be a licensed,
Psychiatrist.
'Why are you so sarcastic about this? '
I once had visions.
That came as I slept or kept awake.
They would not go away.
Something inside me said,
'You have the gift of a psychiatrist.
You need to get inside people's heads.
That's where your fortunes lay.'
But I chose to get on people's nerves,
Instead.
And I could have made a fortune doing 'both'.
Who knew it?
I blew it!
Always listen to those inner voices.
That is the best advice today I can give.
However...
Do not make public your arguments.
Being hauled away and locked up,
Could happen.
And this is what one confined will dread.
Unless...
One is at that amusement park,
And accompanied by someone...
Loving the multiple conversations conducted,
In and out of one's bed.
And affording every bit of the expense of it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Who is a wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can be a virtuous wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can stand the strife
To be a wife?
There is a woman
And there is a wife
Any one can be a woman
But not any one can be a wife
A wife will stand for her pride
A woman will always want a ride
A wife will say
“we ‘ll have a say”
A woman will say
“I ‘ld have a say”
A wife will say
“WE bought you those”
A woman will say
“Mom bought you those”
A wife would say
“We share the bills”
A woman would say
“I share the bills”
A wife cooks what “we” like
A woman cooks what “I” like.
A wife loves unconditionally
A woman loves conditionally
A wife always stands by…
A woman sometimes stands by…
A wife thinks about “us”
A woman thinks about “me”
A wife supports the plans
A woman plans the supports
A wife keeps the relationship
A woman snubs the relationship
A WIFE IS OPPOSITE OF A WOMAN
Who then is a wife?
Amidst all my strife
I‘ve found a darling wife
You too can, if you also tried.
poem by Jr. J.Lakie Kollie
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I don't need a psychiatrist. I'm Catholic.
quote by Dorothy Kilgallen
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One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom.
quote by Muriel Spark
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That's the era we grew up in. It's weak to go to a psychiatrist.
quote by Tanya Tucker
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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
quote by Samuel Goldwyn
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Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
quote by Samuel Goldwyn
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