I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.
quote by Joel Madden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Short; Silly: Ode To A Commode...Or....A Poem About Toilets
modern 'toilets' are large flushable porcelain bowls
which catch waste from both your and my exit holes.
i'm used to white ones with large flush-water tank.
a hidden pipe carries off stuff that often does smell rank.
some in japan were quite different……with no way to sit!
i'm glad i found 'my style' when t'was time to shit.
and if from toilet-paper usage you're leaning,
some toilets have the choice of an in-bowl shower, for cleaning.
toilet seats are sometimes colored, or cushioned, or even heated;
for me, more important (at times) is JUST to be SEATED!
toilets have changed since they were just holes in the ground.
i hope, when i 'need' a toilet, one's always around!
(4-4-2010)
poem by Bri Edwards
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Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.
quote by Daphne Zuniga
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Lily Licked the Toilet
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I'll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She's full of germs and worms,
At least that's what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It's safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch! (To Smooch)
Why'd she have to spoil it?
Nothing's been the same since…
Lily licked the toilet!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
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It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
quote by George Lindsey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two funney
Young funney
Boy...
go
The toilet...
Pass urine...
Not clean
The toilet
With water...
why...?
The boy was
funney...!
The toilet was
funney...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
quote by Billy Wilder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Bit Of Paper
Every bit of paper
you see dancing on the floor
has a story to tell
of how it got there.
It could have been dropped
by some careless hand
or thrown away deliberately
by some litter bug.
Now that bit of paper
started its life as a tree,
standing tall and majestic
in some far off land.
It was probably the home
of some wild creature there
until a lumberjack
with no pity
came along and cut it down.
Now that bit of paper
goes dancing with the wind
until someone catches it
and throws it in the rubbish bin.
4 February 2008
poem by David Harris
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Toilet
Every one
use
The toilet
Clean
Take water
And clean...
Clean is
Importent
her clean
Is not
Impress other's...
It is helpfull for
Healthy good
Life...
For clean
Toilet...
All ways
With your use...!
Some
human are
Use
The toilet
At animals...
You...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.
quote by Billy Wilder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.
quote by Don Van Vliet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paper And Pen
Paper and pen
Trying to write a song again
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Trying to write a song again
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Can’t think of anything to say today
Can’t think of anything to do
Can’t think of anything to play today
Minds gone blank
Leaving me here, just sitting here
Listening to my hair grow
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
And I look towards you
For an inspiration or a word or two
I try but I find
Every road only leads me back to these lines
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Piano, guitar
I try but don't get very far
Paper and pen
Piano, guitar
Paper and pen
Trying to write a song again
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Copyright Colin Coplin 1985 / 2010
poem by Colin Coplin
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Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.
quote by Joey Bishop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For Real, You Look Real Nice
I reached for a half empty
warm beer
and knocked a roll of toilet paper
from the top of the television
it rolled away from me
and into the hallway
past the bathroom
and leaving a path
of pure and random division
for no reason, i thought
until
coming to a halt
at the foot of my bed
Things like this always happen to me
A coin rolls under the dresser
A cigarette lighter falls into the drain
I study the scroll laid out before me
leading to my bed
Where are the words
that tell of my destiny?
That breathe life into the
living and the dead there are
no predictions or obituaries
on this paper
on this
paper there is only a blank
speculation
about today
right now and this moment
this document
is not ancient
nor is it a document at all
it serves no purpose and offers no wisdom
and right now it is rolled out
giving me nothing
but this poem
poem by Jeffrey Quattlebaum
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It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
quote by Rod Serling
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Gardener XI: Come As You Are
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If your braided hair has loosened if
the parting of your hair be not straight,
if the ribbons of your bodice be not
fastened, do not mind.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
If the raddle come from your feet
because of the dew, of the rings of bells
upon your feet slacken, if pearls drop
out of your chain, do not mind.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
Flocks of cranes fly up from the
further river-bank and fitful gusts of
wind rush over the heath.
The anxious cattle run to their stalls
in the village.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
In vain you light your toilet lamp
--it flickers and goes out in the
wind.
Who can know that your eyelids
have not been touched with lamp-
black? For your eyes are darker
than rain-clouds.
In vain you light your toilet lamp--
it goes out.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If the wreath is not woven, who
cares; if the wrist-chain had not been
linked, let it be.
The sky is overcast with clouds--it
is late.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
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This Poem Is A Mess
This poem is a mess
It claimed shads of paper
Drained in pensil and ink
Finished and unfinished
This poem is a mess
This poem is a mess
It victimised toilet paper
Short and long, of all colours
Scribbled, drafted and erased
Pinned on the wall, anywhichway
This poem is a mess
This poem is a mess
It messed up everywhere
Lying on the floor, sholved
In the pockets, every corner
With incomprehensible words,
Misspelt, miswritten, strange
This poem is a mess.
Sunday,12/04/2009,
Huyton, Liverpool, UK
poem by Isaac Maliya
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Toilet Paper
As I sit on that glorious seat
My pants resting up on my feet
Thinking, toilet paper such a cost
Use it once and then it's lost
It's something we can't do without
Have to have it, that's no doubt
Telephone books would be nice
Wouldn't be soft, probably dice
Can't afford it, what do you do?
When you go potty, and have to poo!
poem by Donna Nimmo
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Paper
Paper promises, Dunstead said,
paper cups, wallpaper being stuck
up on the wall for the next to last
time, paper tigers, paper to wipe
the ass and best of all paper to
create art, to have it from the heart,
to see it out there, being gazed at,
studied by some bearded guy with
glasses and paper money to buy
the next paper to create and then
if I’m lucky the muse turning up on
time and giving me the big nudge
in the right direction or some paper
picture of some nude dame giving
the long time wished for erection.
poem by Terry Collett
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Paper
Hold the paper up to the light
(some rays pass right through)
Expose yourself out there for a minute
(some rays pass right through)
Take a little rest when the rays pass through
Take a little time off when the rays pass through
Go ahead and mis it up...go ahead and tie it up
In a long distance telephone call
Hold on to that paper
Hold on to that paper
Hold on becuase its been taken care of
Hold on to that paper
See if you can fit it on the paper
See if you can get it on the paper
See if you can fit it on the paper
See if you can get it on the paper
Had a love affair but it was only paper
(some rays they pass right through)
Had a lot of fun, could have been a lot better
(some rays they pass right through)
Take a little consideration, take every combination
Take a few weeks off, make it tighter, tighter
But it was never, it was never written down
Still might be a chance that it might work out (if you)
Hold on to that paper
Hold on to that paper
Hold on because itll be taken care of
Hold on to that paper
Dont think I can fit it on the paper
Dont think I can get it on the paper
Go ahead and rip up, rip up the paper
Go ahead and tear up, tear up the paper
song performed by by Talking Heads
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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