You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.
quote by Don Van Vliet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All Screwed Up
(young - young)
Get ready
You think your kinda tough
Youre walkin kinda rough
When you want any more
You go fast wo wo wo
Things go tough
And you strut your stuff
And I want your thing
Then youre out of luck
Yes you are
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Take you out to kick some butt
Work you over screw you nuts
And when you cant take no more
Then she push you out that door
And things go hard
Like a dog gone mad
She can pack some punch
Then youre out to lunch, back at one
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Cant tell Im comin
All screwed up, yeah
I said its all screwed up
All screwed up, yeah
Said youre all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Said you think you got some balls
But youre always out to lunch
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yeah
2000, j. albert & son, pty.
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All Screwed Up
You think your kinda tough
You're walkin' kinda rough
When you want any more
You go fast wo' wo' wo'
Things go tough
And you strut your stuff
And I want your thing
Then you're out of luck
Yes you are
It's all screwed up
All screwed up
It's all screwed up
All screwed up
Take you out to kick some butt
Work you over screw you nuts
And when you can't take no more
Then she push you out that door
Things go hard
Like a dog gone mad
She can pack some punch
Then you're out to lunch
song performed by by AC/DC from Stiff Upper Lip
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Short; Silly: Ode To A Commode...Or....A Poem About Toilets
modern 'toilets' are large flushable porcelain bowls
which catch waste from both your and my exit holes.
i'm used to white ones with large flush-water tank.
a hidden pipe carries off stuff that often does smell rank.
some in japan were quite different……with no way to sit!
i'm glad i found 'my style' when t'was time to shit.
and if from toilet-paper usage you're leaning,
some toilets have the choice of an in-bowl shower, for cleaning.
toilet seats are sometimes colored, or cushioned, or even heated;
for me, more important (at times) is JUST to be SEATED!
toilets have changed since they were just holes in the ground.
i hope, when i 'need' a toilet, one's always around!
(4-4-2010)
poem by Bri Edwards
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My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.
quote by Jessica Hahn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We have to understand how the extremists got the way they are. Without that kind of understanding, we'd never really get to know them. I put in nothing about their childhoods. But what I have put in is stuff about the weird symbiotic relationship between us and them.
quote by Jon Ronson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Playing with words
Sometimes one gets used to words
And they are uttered without really anything to mean
Like one kind of a routine
Like you’re one kind of a boring bookworm
Office house
House office
Church on Sundays
Seldom (having sex in some
First time places)
Sometimes one goes to the toilet without
Switching on the lights or having to open one’s eyes
There is a memory
Of what comes first and comes later
Of what one need not think anymore
Something so ordinary so invisible
We forget what meaning is
We die without really knowing why
There were words then
We remember
There is no more chill
Like a red apple that you love to bite
Fresh from the ref
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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It's always been kind of weird to me because when you give someone an autograph, you're looking down at a piece of paper and once you sign it the person moves on.
quote by Christopher Meloni
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn't weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird.
quote by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Were You
If I was good
I'd tell everyone I know
If I was free
I wouldn't be so keen to go
If I was wrong
I would take it like a man
If I was smart
I would get out while I can
If I was broken
I would probably let it be
If I was dying
I wouldn't go out quietly
If I was lost
Well my heart would feel the same
If I was honest
I would probably be ashamed
But if I were you
I would notice me
If I were you
I would wait for me
If I were you
I would easily hold me and say
It's all gonna be OK
If I was rich
I would spend it on my own
If I was dignified
I'd only smoke at home
If I was dark
I would only dress in black
If I was chosen
I would gladly give it back
It's not for you to judge
From all this kind of stuff
I'm only half of what you see
song performed by by Kasey Chambers from Barricades & Brickwalls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Natural Green
Who coloured the green trees?
Who coloured the green grass?
Who coloured the green hills?
How about my green spider plant? ?
Green, Green, you are so glorious green...
An abundance of beautiful green, not coloured, but just natural and kind.
Makes me wonder how your creation of green came to life....
A ride on a helicopter over the huge Rain Forest and see nothing, but acres & acres of simply gorgeous green!
Green, Green, you are so glorious green...
An abundance of beautiful green, not coloured, but just natural and kind.
Makes me wonder how your creation of green came to life...
GREEN, I admire and respect the vitality you bring in the air that I breathe...
poem by Premila Patel
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Judge
Judge is not here to decide
Who is winner and who is loser.
Judge is here to decide
Who is in right point.
No judge is empower to
Pronounced death sentences
No judge has got power
To give life to the lifeless.
Judge can not decide
The synonyms and antonyms
Judge can not say
The right source for right word.
Judge is not judge
So long as the judge is mortal
Judge is judge
If judge is eternal.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bangkok
Gotcha!
Hey sucker let me outa here!
Hey, man!
Bangkok on a sunny day
The rain has washed the blood away
Thousand of veins left in the streets
But I cant wash away the red points
On the sheets of the hotels
And the cheap rooms
Of the cheap whores
Under palm trees
Under palm trees
My brain is running in circles now
I gotta cure the pain somehow
Theres a coloured cloud in front of sun
And a face is trying to cheat me
And to take away the fun
And the killer troups of the dea
Have just brought my friend away
In the stuff that dreams are made of
In the stuff that dreams are made of
Stuff that dreams are made of
Hey, hey, hey!
Stuff that dreams are made of
Stuff that dreams are made of
Hey, hey, hey!
Stuff
Stuff that dreams
Are made of...
song performed by by Fury In The Slaughterhouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
quote by Jeff Foxworthy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0124 A Dead Poet Comments on 'Comments
Erstwhiles,
of candle-laboured hours and screwed-up eyes,
the quill scratch-scratching, the paper ragged rough, the ink
unwieldy, black and unredeeming
as a judge’s cap –
fame – or barely fame,
the least to be hoped for, a mere ‘name’ – a
mere sheet of scrawled, curled paper
passed around a smoky coffee-house: they
so shrewd of eye and savage oft of wit;
or at the best, the whim of jobbing printer:
then, fame or forgetting lay beyond this life.
The grave’s a humbling, private place
where even poets labelled ‘metaphysical’
begin their education quite anew…
and yet, and yet - some centuries ahead,
some divine post-classic irony may devise
a means of universal access
to poems quite unread
(alas, and oft unread their readers too…)
and so, humbled by cold grave and death,
there’s one more humbling yet to bear:
the stripling’s comments on a verse that lives,
the poet – would he know it – dead:
‘Not so great – keep writing’…
raising in these bleachwhite bones and grimjaw skull
the faintest meta-physical, unseen
ghost of a smile
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Is She Weird
I know youre rich in
Good clothes and little things
Your mind is fancy
(and your car is bitchin)
Is she weird
Is she weird, is she white
Is she promised to the night
And her head has no room
And her head has no room
Your heart is ripshit
Your mouth is everywhere
Im lyin in it
Is she weird
Is she over me
Like the stars and the sun
Like the stars and the sun
Is she weird
Is she weird, is she white
Is she promised to the night
And her head has no room!
No more of this girl cryin
Im here, your big man
Youre mine
Is she weird, is she white
Is she promised to the night
And her head has no room
song performed by by Pixies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Got To Give It Up
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Tell my mama and tell my pa
That their fine young son didnt get far
He made it to the end of a bottle
Sitting in a sleazy bar
He tried hard but his spirit broke
He tried until he nearly choked
In the end he lost his
Bottle drinking alcohol
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Tell my brother I tried to write and
Put pen to paper but I was frightened
I couldnt seem to get the words out right
Right quite right
Tell my sister Im sinking slow
Now and again I powder my nose
In the end I lost my bottle
It smashed in a casbah
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive been messing with the heavy stuff
For a time I couldnt get enough
But Im waking up and its wearing off
Junk dont take you far
Tell my mama Im coming home
In my youth Im getting older
And I think its lost control
Mama Im coming home
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
Ive got to give it up Ive got to give it up
That stuff
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Maud Muller Mutatur
In 1909 toilet goods were not considered a serious matter and no special department of the catalogs were devoted to it. A few perfumes and creams were scattered here and there among bargain goods.
In 1919 an assortment of perfumes that would rival any city department store is shown, along with six pages of other toilet articles, including rouge and eyebrow pencils.
--From "How the Farmer Has Changed in a Decade: Toilet Goods," in Farm and Fireside's advertisement.
Maud Muller, on a summer's day,
Powdered her nose with Bon Sachet.
Beneath her lingerie hat appeared
Eyebrows and cheeks that were well veneered.
Singing she rocked on the front piazz,
To the tune of "The Land of the Sky Blue Jazz."
But the song expired on the summer air,
And she said, "This won't get me anywhere."
The Judge in his car looked up at her
And signalled "Stop!" to his brave chauffeur.
He smiled a smile that is known as broad,
And he said to Miss Muller, "Hello, how's Maud?"
"What sultry weather is this? Gee whiz!"
Said Maud. Said the Judge, "I'll say it is."
"Your coat is heavy. Why don't you shed it?
Have a drink?" said Maud. Said the Judge, "You said it."
And Maud, with the joy of bucolic youth,
Blended some gin and some French vermouth.
Maud Muller sighed, as she poured the gin,
"I've got something on Whittier's heroine."
"Thanks," said the judge, "a peppier brew
From a fairer hand was never knew."
And when the judge had had number 7,
Maud seemed an angel direct from Heaven.
And the judge declared, "You're a lvoely girl,
An' I'm for you Maudie, I'll tell the worl'."
And the judge said, "Marry me, Maudie dearie?"
And Maud said yes to the well known query.
And she often thinks, in her rustic way,
As she powders her nose with Bon Sachet,
"I never'n the world would a' got that guy,
If I'd waited till after the First o' July.
And of all glad words of prose or rhyme,
The gladdest are, "Act while there yet is time."
poem by Franklin P. Adams
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I was very introverted. I had glasses and was kind of weird. A lot of actors are pretty weird people.
quote by Jennifer Sky
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.
quote by Joel Madden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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