How can you get tired of playing golf?
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait.
quote by Cameron Diaz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm Tired
I'm tired of people messing with me
I'm tired of people treating me wrong
I'm tired of people saying I stank
I'm tired of people remembering the past
I'm tired of black people
I'm tired of stupid people
I'm tired of selfish people
I'm tired of being the target all the time
I'm tired of feeling sad
I'm tired of people thinking there better than everybody else
I'm tired of people not appreciating me
I'm tired of being tired
I'm tired of being tired
I'm just tired
poem by Shawanda Polk
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Sick And Tired
Got no time to be on the run,
Got no holes in my shoes,
You're the reasong all my friends have gone,
But I won't run from you.
So many promises, and you broke them all,
Oh I'll forgive, but I can't forget,
You know you're a fake, but I just can't take no more,
Cause I'm tired of it.
I'm so tired, so tired,
Sick and tired of it all,
I'm so tired, sick and tired,
I'm so tired, sick and tired of it all, yeah.
You turn the truth, then you turn your back,
You're a victim of yourself,
The hate remains, the hurting still exists.
I'm so tired of it all.
I'm so tired, sick and tired,
So damn tired, sick and tired of it all, oh yeah,
I'm so tired, I'M sick and tired of it all
song performed by by Black Sabbath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
quote by G.K. Chesterton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm used to the golf course playing soft, so tomorrow I'm going to have to pay attention a little bit more.
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Playing golf is like learning a foreign language.
quote by Henry Longhurst
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends.
quote by Chi Chi Rodriguez
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.
quote by Sylvester Stallone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think travel is probably the downside of playing professional golf, but you've got to do it.
quote by Karrie Webb
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't see myself playing or adjusting my schedule for senior tournament golf.
quote by Greg Norman
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For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sick & Tired
Got no time to be on the run,
Got no holes in my shoes,
Youre the reasong all my friends have gone,
But I wont run from you.
So many promises, and you broke them all,
Oh Ill forgive, but I cant forget,
You know youre a fake, but I just cant take no more,
Cause Im tired of it.
Im so tired, so tired,
Sick and tired of it all,
Im so tired, sick and tired,
Im so tired, sick and tired of it all, yeah.
You turn the truth, then you turn your back,
Youre a victim of yourself,
The hate remains, the hurting still exists.
Im so tired of it all.
Im so tired, sick and tired,
So damn tired, sick and tired of it all, oh yeah,
Im so tired, Im sick and tired of it all.
song performed by by Black Sabbath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm tired of the industry, tired of playing the whole game - the dressing up, the red carpet. I hate talking about myself.
quote by Drea De Matteo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf. There goes the Nike account.
quote by Leslie Nielsen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have a project at HBO and one at the Family Channel coming that are being looked at. Aside from that I am not doing much more than playing golf and some skiing.
quote by Gil Gerard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
quote by Henny Youngman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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