I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
quote by G.K. Chesterton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Will I
I want to be a celebrity,
Something I‘ve been wishing for,
On cover of the top magazine,
Photographed while on vacation.
Chatting with the president while
Smiling with the residents.
Playing golf in the most expensive hoods.
Living on a large home,
Driving expensive cars and looking well.
Something that we non-Celebes
Will probably never experience.
Will I?
poem by Joram Muinamia
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter LXIII: Complimentary
Some regard it as an honor
Some regard it as a burden
Some regard it as a formality
Some regard it as a flattery
Some regard it as an improver
Some regard it as an insult
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Went Golfing
I'm so unstable
I mean, I took second in poker last night
and I was pissed because it was 2 in the morning
and it was going to throw my
schedule off the next day
I have meditation at 11
it's supposed to rain at 3
I have this expensive golf pass
and every day I can't use it
it just eats at me
not to mention a ton of work to do
'$%@*#^! '
(One of these days
someone is going to catch me screaming like that)
my poetry is so self-deprecating
plus it's both a home movie and boring
the two things my creative writing teacher says to never do
if I could just get out of debt
I really need to go to meditation today
but I don't know if I'll choose that or golf
seriously
poem by Dallin Bruun
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The Eternal Twins: Love And Hate
It consumes without regard
It shape without regard
It bends you to its will
We are helpless in its power
We look for it but it finds us
It devours without regard
It destroys without regard
It brought nations to its knees
And lifted its people
It gives power without regard
It enslaves without regard
We are but pebbles in its wake
When it overflows in us
And yet.... Its ugly twin holds
Power over it
It consumes without regard
It shapes without regard
It bends you to its will
We are helpless in its power....
poem by Leonid Gonzalez
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I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait.
quote by Cameron Diaz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fill your mouth with marbles and make a speech. Every day reduce the number of marbles in your mouth and make a speech. You will soon become an accredited public speaker -- as soon as you have lost all your marbles.
quote by Brooks Hays
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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How can you get tired of playing golf?
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.
quote by Sylvester Stallone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think travel is probably the downside of playing professional golf, but you've got to do it.
quote by Karrie Webb
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends.
quote by Chi Chi Rodriguez
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm used to the golf course playing soft, so tomorrow I'm going to have to pay attention a little bit more.
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Playing golf is like learning a foreign language.
quote by Henry Longhurst
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Random Foursome
Just a little while ago,
that bald African-American
who's sitting at the window booth,
that young, unshaven fellow
with the earring and the cap,
that silver-haired Caucasian
daydreaming in his polo shirt
and I, were congregated,
quite by chance
around the coke machine.
'How 'bout a game of golf? '
I could have said,
though of course, they would
have thought me mad.
What are the odds the four of us
will ever meet up anywhere again?
Life keeps mixing us around
much more than we realize —
atoms in perpetual flux,
marbles in a divine game.
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't see myself playing or adjusting my schedule for senior tournament golf.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
quote by Henny Youngman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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