The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.

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Golf Tees Lament

Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head

Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants

Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat

Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys

Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.

Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.

Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?

Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails

Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats

But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!

poem by Larry BuddinReport problemRelated quotes
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For A Round Of Golf

For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.

As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.

A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.

Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.

poem by Francis DugganReport problemRelated quotes
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I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.

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I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.

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Clubs For Lonely People

Wouldn't it be enough
To have magic golf clubs
For lonely people
That would get them friends ample
Whenever they went to play
Using those golf clubs any given day?

I am free to dream
Of a simple magical scheme
To solve a hard to fathom,
Serious problem.

poem by Lonely People ChampionReport problemRelated quotes
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IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME

TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS

Hit the ball as U should

Ere the Golf Stick skidded

And U in the Woods ended

Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide

Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried

Alas your 'misses' your family dread

And many a tear dropp you dead

Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come

When Your Wife has given you ultimatum

It's either me or GOLF you choose

And mend your ways or both your loose

'On my terms' if U want the kids and me

Coz I love you so much honey

I am not to touch the GOLF BALL

NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....

TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.

poem by Intensive KS1Report problemRelated quotes
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I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.

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Jack Nicklaus

A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.

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A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.

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It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks.

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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

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Edward VIII

I like going there for golf. America's one vast golf course these days.

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A Perfect Golf Course Lawn

A perfect golf course lawn,
A house painted by numbers,
A dog plays out back, and all
the children say, whats for
lunch, or dinner,
A man pulls in,
a women waves a white flag,
and all the children say,
this is my mom, and this is
my dad.
A perfect golf course lawn.

poem by David GerardinoReport problemRelated quotes
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We know that golf is an ancient game with great history and tradition, but our golf is only 10 years old so don't judge us too harshly.

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Robert Redford

Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.

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John Updike

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

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I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.

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Cameron Diaz

I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait.

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My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body.

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I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.

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