Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.
quote by Sylvester Stallone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.
quote by Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It Depends On The Situation
In the playing of games,
There are those who are less experienced...
Decide without advice taken,
To play them indiscriminately.
Without thought of who the opponent may be.
Or if the one chosen to be exposed to playing,
Has not in fact...
Elected to do so to prevent total boredom,
To hop and take a ride on one's back...
In the playing of games.
And then,
In the playing of games...
It depends on the situation.
The environment is important as well.
However...
If the playing of the same games,
Gets too familiar...
It becomes very difficult to play them,
With the same exuberance...
As those enjoying to play them repetitiously,
Throughout their lives!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Golfing by Myself
I used to make fun of my dad
because he took golf so seriously
then I started playing with my boss
who plays even more serious
so I started making fun of my dad
for not taking it serious enough
now I play by myself
poem by Dallin Bruun
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Golf Pro
There are two types of people:
Those who play golf,
And those who recognize it
for the idiotic malpractice that it is,
that recognize it for the land wasting,
water guzzling, pesticide and herbicide
carcinogen drenched
leeching into the groundwater,
sanitized version of nature,
Bob Hope celebrity goofball,
mundane polo shirt and jackass slacks,
elitist, history of bigotry, racism, sexism,
and anti-Semitism, over-priced, over-rated,
time-wasting, posing-as-a-sport
moronic indulgence that it is.
I’m the first type.
poem by Michael Philips
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait.
quote by Cameron Diaz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
A Rainy Morning In May
There is a distinct coolness in the late Autumn breeze
And it's chilly in the highlands though not cold enough to freeze
And a high today the forecast read of 17 degrees
And the currawongs are piping on the eucalyptus trees.
And the rain come down in drizzles and the rainy sky is gray
And the ravens they are cawing on the pines across the way
And even for the end of Autumn this is not a pleasant day
And the Winter is approaching as we near the end of May.
On the golf links looking green now people play golf in the rain
And for the eastern suburbs golfers it's umbrella time again
Doesn't matter about the weather they will play rain, hail or shine
And they have been playing all morning since the gates opened at nine.
When you hear the spur winged plover calling o'er his breediong ground
In the darkness of the morning o'er the paddock flying around
You know what time of year it is as they breed in the late Fall
And they raise their chicks in winter in the dampest days of all.
It's been drizzling all the morning and the sky is looking gray
And the weather is not pleasant even though it is late May
And the golfers on the golf links practice their swings in the rain
And for the outdoor lover it's umbrella time again.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Your golf playing postmaster father was your god
Your golf playing postmaster father
was your god
(and to you there was no other)
who couldn’t see anything wrong
with the actions of his friends
that wanted to play
sexual games with you
and his wife
who slept around
with whom ever she could.
You sat next to him
at the front door
of the old house in Barberton
with the red polished stairs
while he smoked his pipe
with BB-tobacco
and although you hated smoking
inhaled every vapour
coming from him
as if it would put you
in a godly ordained séance
or maybe a trance.
Each thing that he said,
each thing that he did
to you was holy and right,
even if it lacked justice
and you made a mere man
equal to the Almighty One.
No other man could for you
fit in his shoes
and I tried to live
in a totally different way
and when he died
from a heart attack
on the golf course,
you only saw dread,
for your God was dead
and tried to join him
by taking sleeping pills
and was really angry
for me rushing you to hospital
as if I had got in the way
of your atonement.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Playing With The Boys
Id say it was the right time
To walk away
When dreaming takes you nowhere
Its time to play
Bodies working overtime
Your money dont matter
The clock keeps ticking
When someones on your mind
Im moving in slow motion
Feels so good
Its a strange anticipation
Knock, knock, knocking on wood
Bodies working overtime
Man against man
And all that ever matters
Is baby whos ahead in the game
Funny but its always the same
Playing, playing with the boys
Playing, playing with the boys
After chasing sunsets
One of lifes simple joys
Is playing with the boys
Said it was the wrong thing
For me to do
I said its just a boys game
Girls play too
My heart is working overtime
In this kind of game
People get hurt
Im afraid that someone is me
If you want to find me, Ill be
Playing, playing with the boys
Staying, playing with the boys
After chasing sunsets
One of lifes simple joys
I dont want to be the moth around your fire
I dont want to be obsessed by my desire
Im ready, Im leaving
Ive seen enough
...with the boys
Ive seen enough
You play too rough
Playing, playing with the boys
Ill be staying, playing with the boys
After chasing sunsets
One of lifes simple joys
Is playing with the boys
Playing with the boys
Playing
Playing
Playing
Playing
song performed by by Kenny Loggins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Golf-Slow Torture by Handicap
Golf is such a silly game
The less you play it-The greater the fame
But not alas for your average punter
Who stalks the long grass, more like a hunter.
He really isn't playing at all
Half the time he's looking for his ball.
Head always moving(if not hanging in shame)
The ball stays still, so the players to blame.
As more and more strokes we amass
Mainly playing from the longest grass
Temper flaming and words quite blue!
Are you sure this is the game for you?
The just one shot, that you do not thin
And look! Your nearest the pin
Bringing the fame that you seek
Ensuring your return, and the dream
That you will do better - next week!!!
poem by Keith Oldrey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Random Foursome
Just a little while ago,
that bald African-American
who's sitting at the window booth,
that young, unshaven fellow
with the earring and the cap,
that silver-haired Caucasian
daydreaming in his polo shirt
and I, were congregated,
quite by chance
around the coke machine.
'How 'bout a game of golf? '
I could have said,
though of course, they would
have thought me mad.
What are the odds the four of us
will ever meet up anywhere again?
Life keeps mixing us around
much more than we realize —
atoms in perpetual flux,
marbles in a divine game.
Peter Gunn's Gun
by Michael Leonard, Bobby Weinstein & Jon Stroll
Throw a penny from the window, watch an old man play a song
On a twenty-dollar violin he bought before the war,
Though he screeches and he scratches and the notes are always wrong,
But he plays like he's in concert on the street outside my door.
Tunes to suit your fancy,
Are there any requests?
I'll play them for a penny,
(Play them penny music, play them for a penny)
And not a penny less.
He's the local virtuoso, it's his only way of life,
Plays ninety-seven overtures and goes home to his wife,
In the quiet of the evening while his frozen fingers bleed,
He counts pennies on a blanket to supply his meager need.
Tunes to suit your fancy,
Are there any requests?
I'll play them for a penny,
(Play them penny music, play them for a penny)
And not a penny less.
When there's frost upon the pumpkin in the weakness of the sun,
People stand there in the cold until his symphony is done,
In the early gray of morning, he's sure to come around,
You can hear him through the window when the pennies hit the ground.
Tunes to suit your fancy,
Are there any requests?
I'll play them for a penny,
(Play them penny music, play them for a penny)
And not a penny less.
They're playing penny music,
Playing penny music,
They're playing penny music,
Playing penny music,
Playing penny music.
fade out...
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
We Said
Mum said go you play have some fun
Go play you in the hall,
I was playing having fun
Playing with my rubber ball,
Dad says angry ways
I not to play at all,
I said but mum said
I to play in fun,
Dad said, no fun today some other day
Go get yourself a bun.
Dad said go you out go play you in the sun,
I said, mum said today we go to town,
Dad said not to today some other day
Away you sit down,
I said mum said she baked me a cake,
Dad said mum said she bought the bloody cake
Then good old mum hit him round the bake,
Now I'm rolling over
Laughing out my belly,
But dad thinks I'm laughing
At the funnies on the telly
poem by Gerald Follis Lurgan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Can't Disturb These Folks
Are the buttocks firmer on athletes?
Those who adorn sneakers on courts...
Or play on fields wearing cleats?
Are they tighter on women?
Or men who play soccer?
It's harder to tell on those chasing a puck
As they hockey.
What do they see when they arrive at the lockers?
Or those racing horses...
And called jockeys.
Are they really jocks?
Who gave them names like these?
Women playing tennis,
Seem to have stronger thighs.
And why aren't there cheerleaders...
On the sidelines standing by?
And golf?
Ssssshhhh...
Can't disturb these folks.
You know how hard it is,
To get that tiny ball in the hole?
Well...
I am told it isn't difficult at all.
As long as you know how to find it!
And where it is!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
How can you get tired of playing golf?
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Clubs For Lonely People
Wouldn't it be enough
To have magic golf clubs
For lonely people
That would get them friends ample
Whenever they went to play
Using those golf clubs any given day?
I am free to dream
Of a simple magical scheme
To solve a hard to fathom,
Serious problem.
poem by Lonely People Champion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!