I have a project at HBO and one at the Family Channel coming that are being looked at. Aside from that I am not doing much more than playing golf and some skiing.
quote by Gil Gerard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sport is a wonderful metaphor for life. Of all the sports that I played - skiing, baseball, fishing - there is no greater example than golf, because you're playing against yourself and nature.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Channels
Channel 1's no fun.
Channel 2's just news.
Channel 3's hard to see.
Channel 4 is just a bore.
Channel 5 is all jive.
Channel 6 needs to be fixed.
Channel 7 and Channel 8-
Just old movies, not so great.
Channel 9's a waste of time.
Channel 10 is off, my child.
Wouldn't you like to talk a while?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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T.v. Dinner
Someone channel surfin:
Channel 1: where'd ya get the beauty scar tough guy, eatin pussy
Channel 2: yeah, that's a naughty, naughty, naughty, no-no baby, baby, baby
Channel 3: this guy is really hot
Channel 4: gosh it's hot
Channel 5: it looks and feels natural, just like a part of you
Channel 6: the trouble with you is, your alergic to motown bellisle, bellisle
Channel 7: lsd
Channel 8: man, it's a real shame when people be throwin away a perfecty good white bot like that
song performed by by Kid Rock
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skiing is better than sex actually, because for me a good round of sex might be seven minutes. Skiing you can do for seven hours.
quote by Spalding Gray
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS
Hit the ball as U should
Ere the Golf Stick skidded
And U in the Woods ended
Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide
Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried
Alas your 'misses' your family dread
And many a tear dropp you dead
Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come
When Your Wife has given you ultimatum
It's either me or GOLF you choose
And mend your ways or both your loose
'On my terms' if U want the kids and me
Coz I love you so much honey
I am not to touch the GOLF BALL
NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.
poem by Intensive KS1
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We can't control what the ratings will be. It's like, if you're going to go skiing, do you hope you'll have a good day of skiing? Yes. Do you hope you won't break your leg? Yes.
quote by David Hyde Pierce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Happy Family
playing the role of the happy family,
acting carefully like a perfect family,
putting a lie,
in everyone's eye,
making promises that can't be broken,
putting smiles that can't be taken,
feeling bad and not happy,
but being good at acting happy.
playing the role of the happy family,
father, mother, sister and brother,
but none of them bothers,
everyone is all alone.
talking in a different phone,
talking with a different language,
eating at the same table everyday,
acting happy by every way,
playing the role of the happy family
but there is always the quite,
for every single day and night.
wearing a faked smile,
letting between each one of them, a mile
watching together the television,
but each one is seeing it from his vision,
trying to love and care,
but they can't even share,
each one is in adifferent place.
wearing a big mask on his or her face
a mask of a big smile like a clown,
as all of them are living in a different town,
but still playing the role of the happy family,
still acting like a happy family
still wanting to make us believe that they are a family.
poem by Sarah Abu Zeid
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I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait.
quote by Cameron Diaz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I know this golf tournament has my name on it but it's not about me. It's about the Louisiana Tech family. There is nothing greater than being a part of the Bulldog family.
quote by Terry Bradshaw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I want to work, I can. If I want to play golf, or ride my motorcycle, I can. But the rest of it is family. Sometimes you're not really needed by your family, but you're there. And my kids like to know I'm there.
Why Don't You Just Bring The Pictures
There is something inappropriate,
About that dress you have chosen to wear.
'Why because it is white? '
No!
Because it has a veil.
'Some of your family members missed the wedding.
I just want to show them how I looked.'
I understand.
You understand.
I 'think'.
But
Will they understand?
At a family cookout?
On a beach?
With most of us playing volleyball?
I think they might find you,
Still attached to the ceremony.
Why don't you just bring the pictures.
And
Remember this,
You were the one who volunteered
To do all the cooking.
'OKAY!
I get it.
I didn't want anyone to think,
Our moment
Was not 'their' moment too.'
Honey?
Let's not try to have a family too soon.
With kids and
That kind of thing.
Okay?
'Sure.
Why are you bringing that up now? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Your golf playing postmaster father was your god
Your golf playing postmaster father
was your god
(and to you there was no other)
who couldn’t see anything wrong
with the actions of his friends
that wanted to play
sexual games with you
and his wife
who slept around
with whom ever she could.
You sat next to him
at the front door
of the old house in Barberton
with the red polished stairs
while he smoked his pipe
with BB-tobacco
and although you hated smoking
inhaled every vapour
coming from him
as if it would put you
in a godly ordained séance
or maybe a trance.
Each thing that he said,
each thing that he did
to you was holy and right,
even if it lacked justice
and you made a mere man
equal to the Almighty One.
No other man could for you
fit in his shoes
and I tried to live
in a totally different way
and when he died
from a heart attack
on the golf course,
you only saw dread,
for your God was dead
and tried to join him
by taking sleeping pills
and was really angry
for me rushing you to hospital
as if I had got in the way
of your atonement.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
quote by Yakov Smirnoff
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Winter Fun In Newfoundland
Cross country skiing, spectcular views along the way
Ski-dooing across the country side
A fantastic ride
Ice fishing in the ponds, rivers and bays
An ending to a nice day
Winter camping is such fun
Rabbit stew for everyone
Playing cards with family and friends,
On a cold stormy winter day
Moose hunting in the winter cold
A daring adventure for any soul
Moose steaks frying in the pan
A glass of screech in your hand
I f your lucky, home made beer and moonshine too
Hiking through the park
Breathing in the air so fresh
Walking over the crispy snow
Hearing the crunch as you go
Enjoy a country dance
Where they play a jig two
Indudge in a winter scoff,
With family, friends and visitors too
All this and more,
In Newfoundland and Labrador
poem by Verna Ralph
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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(Children) The Whale Rider
The little boy trudged, his hair in a ruffle
After being slammed into metal and steel.
He walked all the way home through a dusty dirt road
To a family that did not feel.
His parents were frozen mannequins,
Their plastic faces waxed in a stand-still tangle.
They would sit and watch the Travel Channel
Then sit and eat dinner in a triangle.
After ten years of this, he wanted no more,
He thought about the Travel Channel and what it showed,
He thought of mountains evergreen
And dusks and sunrises over the Babylon Road.
So one day he went down to the bay
And he knelt at the shore,
Sent a tiny prayer to the horizon
And he wiped his eyes,
Not believing what he saw.
There it was, as large as the sky,
Emerging from the deep blue oceanside,
A whale coming out of the crest
To give him a long, world-trip ride.
poem by K. Jared Hosein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Salt Lake City
Down in utah
The guys and I dig a city called salt lake
Its got the grooviest kids
Thats why we never get tired of salt lake
And the way the kids talk so cool
Is an out of sight thing
And the number one radio station
Makes the town really swing yeah
Salt lake city well be coming soon
Theres a park near the city, yeah
All the kids dig the lagoon now
Its full of all kinds of girls
And rides and well be flyin there soon now
And girl for girl
Theyve got the cutest of the western states
They got the sun in the summer
And winter time the skiing is great yeah
Salt lake city well be coming soon
Salt lake city well be coming soon
Well be coming soon
Well be coming soon
Well be coming soon
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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