I'll watch any show on the History Channel.
quote by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Channels
Channel 1's no fun.
Channel 2's just news.
Channel 3's hard to see.
Channel 4 is just a bore.
Channel 5 is all jive.
Channel 6 needs to be fixed.
Channel 7 and Channel 8-
Just old movies, not so great.
Channel 9's a waste of time.
Channel 10 is off, my child.
Wouldn't you like to talk a while?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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T.v. Dinner
Someone channel surfin:
Channel 1: where'd ya get the beauty scar tough guy, eatin pussy
Channel 2: yeah, that's a naughty, naughty, naughty, no-no baby, baby, baby
Channel 3: this guy is really hot
Channel 4: gosh it's hot
Channel 5: it looks and feels natural, just like a part of you
Channel 6: the trouble with you is, your alergic to motown bellisle, bellisle
Channel 7: lsd
Channel 8: man, it's a real shame when people be throwin away a perfecty good white bot like that
song performed by by Kid Rock
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Saturday Mornings
Wake it up it's 7a.m and ya know
get the milk fill the bowl with cereal
get the remote and turn on the television
first channel I see is channel 11
watching my cartoons early in the morning
it might look wack but this is not boring
I mean watching some Yu-Gi-Oh at channel 5
wash my face to feel more alive
take a shower after my show
getting fresh, out the house and off to SoHo.
poem by How Anonymous
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I like to stay home and watch television. The Game Show channel, mostly.
quote by Harry Dean Stanton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Grandfather
The grandfather liked to watch the broadcast football
In the TV channel every night
In the morning he still sleep
When I departed for work
And his granddaughter departed for campus
When evening we the struggle channel
The grandfather liked to watch a football
His granddaughter liked to watch sinetron
While I liked the broadcast that funny-things
I have been tired worked
Was not again that attract attention in the TV agenda
Apart from laughing to release nerves that strict
Now the grandfather of temples sleeps
poem by Prasetya Utama
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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COUCH POTATO
Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it
Or just let it slip?
Yo
Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstone's on the TV already
Wilma N' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin
And I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth, always says something foul
They're dying, Wow!
Wannabe's are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Show's based on reality
Oh the humanity!
Oh! Ozzy's family!
Sho' loves profanity!
Whoa! The insanity!
Oh! Dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No! They live happily
Yo! Plus "The Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh there's Anna Nicole
She's scaring me
"Look ma, no cavities!"
Oh! It's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me
"Turn off those music videos!" (no!)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN TV Land and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
"You're Gonna..."
My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King to "24" to "Law and Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters next up on "E True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey
Shows for next fall, they've already been naming
"CSI: Boise", and "Touched By An Uncle", both sound prettying lame, man
so does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
and "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it.
I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet I'll watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go "Mahna Mahna"
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Disney Channel, and A&E and Lifetime
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm lookin' at C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost in Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without a Trace"
But I only watched "Will and Grace" one time one day
Wished I hadn't cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambition
"Next week on FOX - watch lions eat Christians!"
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech-covered grub-eating fools on "Survivor"
Look, there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider
And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob, plus there's MacGyver
And Jay Leno has got Madonna and hey, there's Luke Perry
And a special all pig-latin episode of "Drew Carey"
Wanna turn on ET cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot, then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos". I forgot!
I love shows with or without a plot
I stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
one brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I still tune into every show (show)
My cable's gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo!)
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me,
"Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show!" (no!)
I got it on C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo!)
You can watch anything you want to, man.
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at first it's novel and brand new and then you watch every channel, every show. And then you become a little more selective and more selective, until ultimately... you wind up with a radio.
quote by David Lee Roth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
quote by Yakov Smirnoff
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uhf
Put down your remote control
Throw out your tv guide
Put away your jacket
Theres no need to go outside
Dont you know that we control the horizontal
We control the verticle, too
We gonna make a couch potato out of you
Thats what we gonna do now
Dont change the channel
Dont touch that dial
We got it all on uhf
Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on uhf
Dont worry bout your laundry
Forget about your job
Just crank up the volume
And yank off the knob
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on uhf
Disconnect the phone and leave the dishes in the sink
You better put away your homework
Prime time aint no time to think
All you do is make yourself a tv dinner
Press your face right up against the screen
We gonna show you thangs you aint ever seen
If you know what I mean, now
Dont change the channel
Dont touch that dial
We got it all on uhf
Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on uhf
Dont worry bout your laundry
Forget about your job
Just crank up the volume
And yank off the knob
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on uhf
You can watch us all day
You can watch us all night
You can watch us any time that you please
You can sit around and stare at the picture tube
till your brain turns into cottage cheese
Well, now
Dont change the channel
Dont touch that dial
We got it all on uhf
Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on uhf
Dont worry bout your laundry
Forget about your job
Just crank up the volume
And yank off the knob
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all (we got it all) on uhf (we got it)
(we got it) we got (we got it) it all (we got it) on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all (we got it all) on uhf (on uhf)
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all (we got it all) on uhf (we go it)
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Am Channeling Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary
'I've heard that before.'
I am channeling Poe.
'You don't have to channel po' no 'mo.
I think you have been very successful.
I make a suggestion you channel some dough,
So you can pay me back the money you owe.'
You have no sympathy for artists at all,
Do you?
'Why should I have sympathy,
For somebody channeling po'?
Do you know how many people
Right outside that door,
That have painted that picture too long.
Now...
IF you can channel up some fish and grits,
I'll give you all the sympathy you want.'
Are you here to bug me or what?
'You go right ahead.
Channel up all the 'po' you want.
I aint into it.
I know a few folks,
Who are not painting those kinds of pictures.
You told me earlier
You were home alone writing! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Rest Is History
Saw you across the room
Felt somethin stir inside my soul
Knew Id never be the same
Now that love had taken hold
Then when you touched me
There was no doubt
You unterstood what my heart was all about
And the rest is history
The story of you and me
For all eternity
The record will show
Well fill up the pages
Romance for the ages
There for the world to see
The rest ist history
Before we spoke a word
My heart told me you were the one
When you pressed your hand to mine
I knew my life had just begun
Like some old movie
Music filled the night
Lost held each other tight.
And the rest is history
The story of you and me
For all eternity
The record will show
Well fill up the pages
Romance for the ages
There for the world to see
The rest ist history
And the rest is history
The story of you and me
For all eternity
The record will show
Well fill up the pages
Romance for the ages
There for the world to see
The rest ist history
History ...
The rest is history.
The rest is history.
song performed by by LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel.
quote by Howard Stern
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pasinga
English Channel,
Like red wine served in a plastice bottle;
But, how should i have known your muse?
Kingston upon Hull,
Bristol Channel;
But do watch the world around you and learn from it,
Because, the headmaster is now with a cane in his hand! !
The muse of the grasshopper!
With gentleness to ease your pain;
And like the cooking oil and salt at your kitchen,
But, how should i have known your muse?
Beamed to the innocent,
Ready by all for all! !
And like the beauty of Pasinga in the land of many Islands;
But, travelling on lottery was what your muse brought to me.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Black History Month
In January...
There they are making history.
In February...
There they are making history.
In March...
There they are making history.
In April...
There they are making history.
In May...
There they are making history.
In June...
There they are making history.
In July...
There they are making history.
In August...
There they are making history.
In September...
There they are making history.
In October...
There they are making history.
In November...
There they are making history.
In December...
There they are making history.
But...
It's nice to know
The shortest month of the year
Was chosen to celebrate
The great deeds of African-Americans!
However...
It is those LEAP YEARS,
That really have the blacks jumping for joy!
Note: 'Black History Month' along with other
works of interest can be found in...
*'MindPrints from Untouched Places-VOL I'*
~Now available online at a PC near you~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Know My History
Mmmmm, Yeah.
I was a freckle-faced kid with a buck tooth grin.
I was cuttin' her grass when she asked me in.
Learned everything that I needed to learn,
When I was sixteen, know what I mean.
Whoo, ooh, ooh, grew up fast.
Fin'lly found somethin' I was really good at.
When it comes to love,
I know what I'm talkin' about.
I know my history, but good lovin' gets me.
It ain't no mystery, just kiss me: kiss me, baby.
I never learned my lesson: I'm pretty good at guessin'.
I been down that road a time or two or three:
I know my history.
Come a little closer, let me show you what it's all about.
Oh, I know my history, baby.
You can second guess me all night long,
Make yourself believe that it's all wrong.
Sooner or later, girl,
You're gonna see you can trust me.
Once again there, whoo, ooh, ooh, step into school:
Let me show you a thing or two:
When it comes to love,
I know what I'm talkin' about.
I know my history, but good lovin' gets me.
It ain't no mystery, just kiss me: kiss me, baby.
I never learned my lesson: I'm pretty good at guessin'.
I been down that road a time or two or three:
I know my history.
Don't worry 'bout tomorrow, come along girl.
Got his own road on a right cool world.
Take my hand, it's just you an' me.
Tonight's the night we're makin' history.
Instrumental Break.
(A little, little history.)
(Whoo, ooh, ooh.)
I know my history, yeah, good lovin' gets me.
It ain't no mystery, just kiss me: (Kiss me.)
Come a little closer, let me show you what it's all about.
Let me show you, baby, what my love is really all about.
song performed by by Van Zant
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tales of my past
Don't write me down in history,
In reference to my past deeds,
Works I derived no joy from,
Or mistakes of those years.
Don't write me down in history,
The ages gone show little of what I am,
That part of me is truly done,
My dreams now can say it all.
Don't write me down in history,
The lessons of life flows in my blood,
My blunders are now my teachers,
The scars now my daily pledge.
Don't write me down in history,
I am yet to achieve perfection,
Still I strive for redemption,
Searching the soil for my lost glory,
Don't write me down in history,
The tales of my past I recall,
That was then, this is me,
Woes to your judgment.
poem by Venessa Ambrose
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History why do we care
History
a famous person dies
History
a war rages
History
a new invention
History
a building opens
History
what happens if something happens to me
is that history?
no....
So why do we care.....
poem by Andrea Thepoet
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When it went on the air, the sales department hated it. It was the highest advertising pullout show in the history of NBC. At the early focus groups, people were saying, 'Who are these people? Why should we watch them?
Radio Station: Chico, Irish History Teacher Go Wild
(me)
hello!
(she) hi!
(me)
why you hi me for?
what are you doing?
(she)
i am a history teacher
professor
PH.D of that kind
my university
is a fancy catholic community
at the lake shore.
if you plan to put your kids
our kids
into plan
this the right place.
(me)
hoo! hoo!
irish teacher
are you advertizin on my show?
or are you E.R Vad zin zining trying to
make my show chineeze zin zen type of show?
or you are planning to have
kids
and lead them to your university
with my kids mixed them up
in the same class
of your damn history?
are you killing me?
or are you trying to irish me
with your gloried oiled Professional skills?
sorry woman,
i will give you a 'Z' as a grade
in your own class of latino irish.
because
first your kids
or future kids
wont go to class with my kids
never!
together!
impossible!
take a note and put it in your beard!
they will rice it up.
falaful it up
and end up
playing irish
bulls
in the class
and make a beautiful bull history.
so, tell me
beside you want kids
or you are teaching kids
what part of the history
you are teaching?
latino kids type of history or
''Rosevelt did not have enough time
to put american in one hand
and kids in his bulls in the other hand'' type of history?
is that right?
(she)
do you like to take my phone
or my number?
poem by Atef Ayadi
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History Maker
History maker World shaker it’s what I wanna be
Going places seeing faces making history
Stepping out not afraid coming up against the enemy
History maker world shaker that’s what I wanna be
Get up and go-there is trouble everywhere
Finding solutions to our problems is so very rare
No more talking cause all the talking’s done
History maker world shaker I already have begun
Stand up for right I am in a fight
Trying with all my might to free them from their plight
History maker world shaker that’s what I want to be
Helping people change, changing history
But I can’t do it alone I need someone
To help me do the job and get it done
Become a history maker starting here today
Be a world shaker follow me I will show the way
Copy Right HN Brown 31 January 2009
poem by Henry Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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