My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.
quote by Jessica Hahn

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All Screwed Up
(young - young)
Get ready
You think your kinda tough
Youre walkin kinda rough
When you want any more
You go fast wo wo wo
Things go tough
And you strut your stuff
And I want your thing
Then youre out of luck
Yes you are
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Take you out to kick some butt
Work you over screw you nuts
And when you cant take no more
Then she push you out that door
And things go hard
Like a dog gone mad
She can pack some punch
Then youre out to lunch, back at one
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Cant tell Im comin
All screwed up, yeah
I said its all screwed up
All screwed up, yeah
Said youre all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Said you think you got some balls
But youre always out to lunch
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yeah
2000, j. albert & son, pty.
song performed by by AC-DC

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Read Me Now
read me now
read me 500 years after i am not around
after that flush me down the toilet
that is if you are still using flush toilet
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo

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Tick
I feel a tick in my head and hes sucking on my head
In the morning Ill be dead if he doesnt leave my head
Why cant he go away why does he have to stay
Maybe he wanna play but I can only say
That Ill get you, Ill burn you, Ill crush you, Ill flush you (down, down)
The toilet where youll spiral (around-round)
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
I tried to get rid of my plague but I left some of his leg
And he grew back pretty quick so I stabbed the little prick
But now I cut my head -- in the morning Ill be dead
But even after still hell find someone to kill
And hell get you, Ill burn you, Ill crush you, Ill flush you (down, down)
The toilet where youll spiral (around-round)
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
song performed by by Ween

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Short; Silly: Ode To A Commode...Or....A Poem About Toilets
modern 'toilets' are large flushable porcelain bowls
which catch waste from both your and my exit holes.
i'm used to white ones with large flush-water tank.
a hidden pipe carries off stuff that often does smell rank.
some in japan were quite different……with no way to sit!
i'm glad i found 'my style' when t'was time to shit.
and if from toilet-paper usage you're leaning,
some toilets have the choice of an in-bowl shower, for cleaning.
toilet seats are sometimes colored, or cushioned, or even heated;
for me, more important (at times) is JUST to be SEATED!
toilets have changed since they were just holes in the ground.
i hope, when i 'need' a toilet, one's always around!
(4-4-2010)
poem by Bri Edwards

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It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
quote by Uma Thurman

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.
quote by Don Van Vliet

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.
quote by Carolyn Heilbrun

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Roses Are Red
roses are red
& violets are blue
flush the toilet
when you are through
poem by Ric S. Bastasa

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.
All Screwed Up
You think your kinda tough
You're walkin' kinda rough
When you want any more
You go fast wo' wo' wo'
Things go tough
And you strut your stuff
And I want your thing
Then you're out of luck
Yes you are
It's all screwed up
All screwed up
It's all screwed up
All screwed up
Take you out to kick some butt
Work you over screw you nuts
And when you can't take no more
Then she push you out that door
Things go hard
Like a dog gone mad
She can pack some punch
Then you're out to lunch
song performed by by AC/DC from Stiff Upper Lip

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim.
quote by Wilford Brimley

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Out To Lunch
(j. spinks)
Im out of my head
You wont understand me
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends i? m all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends Im so far out to lunch
I? m under a spell
You won? t recognize me
Don? t come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends Im so far out to lunch
Im out to lunch mmm wont you listen Im to lunch
Hey just let me sleep
Please dont pressurize me
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends Im so far out to lunch
Dont come knocking at my door tonight
Tell all my friends Im all screwed up
Dont come messing with my head tonight
Tell all my friends Im so far out to lunch
Im out of my head Im out of my head
song performed by by Outfield

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lily Licked the Toilet
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I'll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She's full of germs and worms,
At least that's what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It's safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch! (To Smooch)
Why'd she have to spoil it?
Nothing's been the same since…
Lily licked the toilet!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Two funney
Young funney
Boy...
go
The toilet...
Pass urine...
Not clean
The toilet
With water...
why...?
The boy was
funney...!
The toilet was
funney...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Requesting to Go Through My Eliminations
If it was not for my efforts,
You would have nothing in life to do.
I'm only now beginning to understand,
How important these moments are for you.
So when you are completely through,
Please flush the toilet.
I pride myself on my originality.
And you have that yet to learn.
Requesting to go through my eliminations,
Has left me feeling charitable.
But do as you wish.
Even if you pick over it,
It would still be mine to recognize.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toilet
Every one
use
The toilet
Clean
Take water
And clean...
Clean is
Importent
her clean
Is not
Impress other's...
It is helpfull for
Healthy good
Life...
For clean
Toilet...
All ways
With your use...!
Some
human are
Use
The toilet
At animals...
You...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cause Of Their Separation
you may find it shallow
but the real cause of their broken
bridge
or thread that snapped
at the end
a few years
specifically only about a year
she dropped soap
at the toilet bowl
and it didn't flush out anymore
she could not believe
how a child in him
still works
he left her
preoccupied with a woman who is clean
poem by Ric S. Bastasa

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No 'W'
If this is really living
Then why am I so unforgiving
Half the world is down the toilet
Half on its way
If I had a dollar for every time he hollers
Trust us with your hearts and minds
Or I'll make you pay
Trust me -- 2x
Ask me why you're feeling screwed
And I'll give you the answer
There's a Colon Dick & Bush
Justa hammerin' away
Ask me why you feel deceived
Stripped of all your liberties
It doesn't take a genius to explain
That today
Trust me -- 2xg
song performed by by Ministry

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed.
quote by Chuck Palahniuk

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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