Read Me Now
read me now
read me 500 years after i am not around
after that flush me down the toilet
that is if you are still using flush toilet
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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Related quotes
I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim.
quote by Wilford Brimley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Short; Silly: Ode To A Commode...Or....A Poem About Toilets
modern 'toilets' are large flushable porcelain bowls
which catch waste from both your and my exit holes.
i'm used to white ones with large flush-water tank.
a hidden pipe carries off stuff that often does smell rank.
some in japan were quite different……with no way to sit!
i'm glad i found 'my style' when t'was time to shit.
and if from toilet-paper usage you're leaning,
some toilets have the choice of an in-bowl shower, for cleaning.
toilet seats are sometimes colored, or cushioned, or even heated;
for me, more important (at times) is JUST to be SEATED!
toilets have changed since they were just holes in the ground.
i hope, when i 'need' a toilet, one's always around!
(4-4-2010)
poem by Bri Edwards
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It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
quote by Uma Thurman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Roses Are Red
roses are red
& violets are blue
flush the toilet
when you are through
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.
quote by Carolyn Heilbrun
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.
quote by Jessica Hahn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.
Tick
I feel a tick in my head and hes sucking on my head
In the morning Ill be dead if he doesnt leave my head
Why cant he go away why does he have to stay
Maybe he wanna play but I can only say
That Ill get you, Ill burn you, Ill crush you, Ill flush you (down, down)
The toilet where youll spiral (around-round)
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
I tried to get rid of my plague but I left some of his leg
And he grew back pretty quick so I stabbed the little prick
But now I cut my head -- in the morning Ill be dead
But even after still hell find someone to kill
And hell get you, Ill burn you, Ill crush you, Ill flush you (down, down)
The toilet where youll spiral (around-round)
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
Awww, tick -- mmm tick tick tick -- brr tick
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cause Of Their Separation
you may find it shallow
but the real cause of their broken
bridge
or thread that snapped
at the end
a few years
specifically only about a year
she dropped soap
at the toilet bowl
and it didn't flush out anymore
she could not believe
how a child in him
still works
he left her
preoccupied with a woman who is clean
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lily Licked the Toilet
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I'll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She's full of germs and worms,
At least that's what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It's safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch! (To Smooch)
Why'd she have to spoil it?
Nothing's been the same since…
Lily licked the toilet!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
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Two funney
Young funney
Boy...
go
The toilet...
Pass urine...
Not clean
The toilet
With water...
why...?
The boy was
funney...!
The toilet was
funney...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Requesting to Go Through My Eliminations
If it was not for my efforts,
You would have nothing in life to do.
I'm only now beginning to understand,
How important these moments are for you.
So when you are completely through,
Please flush the toilet.
I pride myself on my originality.
And you have that yet to learn.
Requesting to go through my eliminations,
Has left me feeling charitable.
But do as you wish.
Even if you pick over it,
It would still be mine to recognize.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Toilet
Every one
use
The toilet
Clean
Take water
And clean...
Clean is
Importent
her clean
Is not
Impress other's...
It is helpfull for
Healthy good
Life...
For clean
Toilet...
All ways
With your use...!
Some
human are
Use
The toilet
At animals...
You...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Signs (Fun Poem 59)
How many of us read signs
and obey what they say
or do you turn your back
and carry on your merry way.
Sometimes you will get a sign
on a toilet door out of order.
You ignore it and open the door
only to find someone has been there before.
My advice is always
read the sign before you enter there
or you maybe accused
of being the dirty one.
4 February 2008
poem by David Harris
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The Gardener XI: Come As You Are
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If your braided hair has loosened if
the parting of your hair be not straight,
if the ribbons of your bodice be not
fastened, do not mind.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
If the raddle come from your feet
because of the dew, of the rings of bells
upon your feet slacken, if pearls drop
out of your chain, do not mind.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
Flocks of cranes fly up from the
further river-bank and fitful gusts of
wind rush over the heath.
The anxious cattle run to their stalls
in the village.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
In vain you light your toilet lamp
--it flickers and goes out in the
wind.
Who can know that your eyelids
have not been touched with lamp-
black? For your eyes are darker
than rain-clouds.
In vain you light your toilet lamp--
it goes out.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If the wreath is not woven, who
cares; if the wrist-chain had not been
linked, let it be.
The sky is overcast with clouds--it
is late.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
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Mine Doesn't
as i once told you
it is easy to rhyme like
roses are red
violets are blue
flush the toilet
when you are through
or try
this one
eine meine meine moo
catch the monkey by the
tor
but i do not like
rhyming
it is simply
not enduring
it is a matter of
style
and anyone can
be a poet
if he simply
devotes time
to the bursting of emotions
like sun, like
the first day
when rays spread like
hands on the
breasts of the
mountains
most poems rhyme
mine doesn't.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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It’s No Fun Going To The Toilet
it’s no fun, dearest friends,
going to the toilet
with your entrails full
and at zero hour
and rushing to the toilet
and finding every cubicle shut in your face
and you run to the next
and there are grunting pigs
behind closed doors
and you are truly full,
and you know you are in big trouble
and there is not even a discreet bush corner
in the god-forsaken damned city;
and you are walking up and down outside the doors
like an irate Principal at a school assembly;
it’s really no fun
putting yourself through such agony
to put yourself on such public display
going to public toilets
when you could have cleared all
and achieved dignity
with proper timing
and good though boring habits
it’s no fun, really -
dearest friends,
hastening to the toilet
when your pipe is nearly at bursting point
and you rush in to the toilet
and though lucky enough
to find an enclosure
it’s really no fun, is it? -
all that hurry and urgency
at near bursting point
as you pow-wow before the toilet bowl
and your buckle is stubborn
and you plead to your private self:
O no, no…don’t burst…not yet…
and your damned zip gets stuck just then
and you continue your war dance
and you plead to your intimate self:
O no, no…don’t burst…not yet…not yet, please;
please don’t do this to me-self –
and just then the zip comes asunder
and you pull it down like thunder
and oh, what a relief, no doubt –
but it certainly was no fun
going there to the toilet at near-breaking point;
and how are you going to face the world
with your zip burst
and your buckle broken and hanging over now?
oh, so, dearest friends,
trust me
(no wisecracks here, please)
oh all you children of the earth
all infants and old
and the genteel and the virile
and the incontinent
and the humble and those with golden toilet bowls –
it’s never fun to rush in to the toilet
at near breaking or bursting point;
and though good routine
and roughage may never be fun either
it’s safer than trusting in City Councils that
do not plan for citizens at bursting point…
poem by Raj Arumugam
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Surprise in Japan - Drain as toilet
first world country
oh these quaint toilets where
you have to do it into a drain
I was terribly surprised that in some parts of Tokyo a toilet meant
you do your business right into a drain. You wear a pair of clogs into the toilet which is nothing more than a deep drain. I am still trying to find out where the shit would flow to till this day.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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A Dirty Beast
Your endless bouts of masturbation
Will do no good to your reputation
And I have to say I do deplore
The way you piss on the toilet floor!
Don't worry, I'm not complaining
About your lack of toilet-training
But I'm sure that even Sigmund Freud
Himself would be a bit annoyed
If you didn't make it your firm intention
To curb these habits that I mention!
Please show some self-control at least
Before you get known as 'The Dirty Beast'!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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