I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
quote by Carol Burnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Problem With Teeth
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out their course
They shift when you're eating
Or fly loose at a greeting
Some marriages end with divorce!
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they won't always lie
In a mouth half their size
And can drive a sane man up the wall
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out life's course
In on a hospital stay they get 'put away'
Until you can't find them at all!
And when they do finally arrive
It's on a woman whose barely alive
Though's she's making a terrible din
But when she smiles she possesses your grin
And it's hard to reclaim them
Because she's renamed them
But the teeth that you've got won't fit in! ! .
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they rarey survive in life's course
So it's better to brush and religiously floss
So you don't have to lose them at all!
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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With Teeth
But she will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
She will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
Keeps holding on
She will not let you go
Keeps holding on and on
She will not let you go
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
I cannot go through this again /x8
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
Youve finally found the place where you belong
It comes on strong
She makes you hard
The rules have changed, the line begins to blur
To what you were
Wave goodbye
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
And it runs deeper than you dare to dream it could be
The black seal
She makes you better than anything youve tried
Its in her kiss
She comes along
She gets inside
song performed by by Nine Inch Nails
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Teeth
English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.
poem by Spike Milligan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't know how to construct a career that'll make me famous. Except maybe get my ears pinned back, get my teeth done, and go to America. But then I'll be competing with billions of actors who haven't got false teeth, and who are 25.
A Dental Poem
Natural teeth are best for men;
See the dentist now and then;
Don’t eat more of sugar stuff;
Don’t chew tobacco or puff!
Brush your teeth, both morn and night;
Wear your dentures, smooth and light;
Floss your teeth to rid off food;
Keep your oral hygiene good.
Extract teeth that hurt the cheek;
Let gums not bleed nor turn weak;
Rinse your mouth after a café;
Keep your God-given teeth safe.
Do not drink hot tea / coffee;
Do not eat sweets like toffee;
Let your breath be fresh and free;
Keep your teeth strong and healthy!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 9-9-‘10
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shoehorn With Teeth
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesnt get nervous
Shes not really there
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas
The plane can never land
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
Whats the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When youre much too busy returning to the womb?
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows theres no such thing
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don’t Leave Your Teeth on a Tray or the Cat Will Play with Them (Fun Poem 44)
This is a cautionary tale,
but I must add that it is true.
Last week my wife after eating an evening meal
decided to remove her bottom plate and put on a tray.
It seemed that it was rubbing against her gums.
Our next-door neighbour came in
and she and Vera retired to the kitchen
to play a game of cards.
After a couple of hands they heard
our youngest cat Charlie playing with something,
they thought it was just one of her toys.
It wasn’t until the next morning
when she went to put her teeth in
that she realised that the toy
Charlie was playing with
were actually her bottom teeth.
The moral of this story
is if you have false teeth,
always put them away
or some passing cat might think
they are a new toy
to have a game with and play.
(12 November 2007)
poem by David Harris
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All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)
(Donald Yetter Gardner)
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
It seems so long since I could say
"Sister, Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy Id be, if I could only whistle
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
It seems so long since I could say
"Sister, Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy Id be, if I could only whistle
(All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth)
(Two front teeth), (two front teeth)
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
--- Instrumental ---
It seems so long since I could say
"Sister, Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy Id be, if I could only whistle
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Two front teeth, My two front teeth
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"...
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ito Eats
(words & music by sid tepper - roy bennett)
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eating all the while
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Ito is an eating boy
He never get enough from fish and poi
He eat everything he dont care what
He even eat the shell from the coconut
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Eat ito eat all the night and the day
Hey, ito little faster
Ito little slower
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
Ito eat like teeth are out of style
When you say that stranger smile
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As you read these lines
As you read these lines
Another toothpick
Is chewed by my teeth
Something is wrong
With my tongue and
Teeth, how they compete
For recognition, the teeth
Claiming it chewed the
Words the tongue claiming
It approved the taste,
I am listening how they
Argued and quarreled,
And in the chaos I bit the
Toothpick chewed it
And spit it out,
How choppy have I
Become, how some
Of my parts have been
So disjoined, and how
Have I become
So disengaged, divided,
Like the tongue &
Teeth, in their bickering.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Candy candy not so good
Candy candy not so good,
Ouch my teeth hurt,
Candy candy not so good.
Candy candy stuck in my teeth!
Mm..
That lovely taste..
It's just so sweet! !
My mum always tells me 'candy candy not so good, it will hurt your teeth UNDERSTOOD! '
I want candy,
I want to eat,
I don't care what anyone says,
know that candy is the best.
Ouch! Ouch!
Mummy was right!
Because of candy I can't even bite.
Candy candy not so good,
Just remember to brush your teeth because..
Candy candy is not so good..
For your teeth.
poem by Aisha Alansari
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Chewing Gum (Fun Poem 46)
I enjoy chewing gum
it takes my mind off cigarettes,
but because I have false teeth.
(I lost the real ones years ago)
Chewing gum become like chewing super glue.
When it sticks, boy does it stick.
You stand in the bathroom
completely and utterly gummy
scraping the gum of your dentures.
So now, my motto is
if you have dentures
suck on a hard-boiled sweet,
they don’t stick to your teeth.
poem by David Harris
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Alone Alone Alone
He was writing his sermon.
He'd locked his room.
He wanted none to break his thoughts.
No one would ever disturb him.
He was alone, alone, alone.
He was fixing his false teeth,
behind closed doors.
He wanted none to peep in on his secret.
No one would want to know if he had teeth.
He was alone, alone, alone.
He was counting his coins,
in the darkness of his shabby hut.
He wanted none to know his wealth.
No one wanted his meager sum.
He was alone, alone, alone.
You and I are all like them,
locked behind our own doors,
not wanting to be pried into.
Not knowing how isolated we are.
We are just alone, alone, alone.
poem by Saju Abraham
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My First Boyfriend
My first Boyfriend
was Stanley Gardner
whomI met in kindy
all thirty long years ago.
He wore silver braces
and thick jam jar glasses
whereas I had buck teeth
That jutted out a mile
and a mop of frizzy hair
but he declared his love for me
by sharing his vegemite sandwich
and orange juice popper
in the sandpit,
in the middle of the oval
And now 30 years on I meet him again
with his wife and child
He has the straightest of teeth
and sans hair and glasses
And me with straightened hair
And perfect teeth
courtesy of my cosmetic teeth makeover!
And my orthodontist
The Dentist’s
Your mouth hurts inside for the pain comes from the teeth,
Pain is destructive to the teeth, its gums are bleeding;
Must we learn further help and admiration, or just weep?
First, the aching stops and then the dentist stops,
We all feel murdered, but why?
Firstly, mouths are meant for munching, fully chomping
The food residing in the head, feeding the brain as fast as it can;
We are not dentists, but full doctors, but full nurses,
As hospitals go, we stand firm on our teeth chattering away in the cold.
We felt absurd knowing your teeth.
The main worry was when it made me squirm, and then burn,
Too late, the drill was performed, with too much work,
And that was purity and goodness in the process,
For me, for me, and for those who call themselves the dentist.
We do find teeth a chore, always to be restored.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Bruxism
it is the inability to assert
yourself
during the day
that you start
grinding your teeth
at night
until all the teeth
fall
and they you wake
up
screaming.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Bite Me
Every sentence I ended...
She said bite me.
Every comment I made...
Her response was a way,
Of letting me know what she wanted.
'Bite me.
Bite me.
Bite me...'
She went on!
So I obliged.
Fulfilling my good guy duties.
So why am I the one being arrested?
Which one of us here has the black eye?
The only reason she doesn't have any teeth...
She took them out before she swung!
Why would I want to steal her teeth?
When I am accustomed to her tongue.
And her teeth are always out anyway.
At least that's what her husband says.
They both have done me.
She here!
And he...
Across the street at my home.
But this is the first time I've ever been arrested...
For not giving up the bone!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Boy Who Had Buck Teeth
The other boys taunted and jeered at the boy with buck teeth
And they called him rude names as he walked down the street
But the boy with buck teeth is a winner today
Those who laugh last laugh loudest some are known to say
The reason for his success not hard to explain
The boy who had buck teeth has a marvelous brain
Their taunts only fueled his desire to succeed
Of his many successes we hear of and read
The boy who had buck teeth is lauded far and wide
His praises sung far from his home country-side
And those who laughed at him seem ordinary indeed
Their journeys in life to success did not lead
The masses out there they did not impress
But the one they once taunted is a huge success.
poem by Francis Duggan
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The idea really came to me the day I got my new false teeth.
quote by George Orwell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kicked In The Teeth
Two faced woman with the two faced lies
I hope your two faced living made you satisfied
Tell me baby I was your only one
While youve been running around town with every mothers son
Told your story about the women like you
Told your story about the things you do
I used to think that you were sugar and spice
I shouldve listened to my mothers advice
Chorus:
Kicked in the teeth again
Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win
Kicked in the teeth again
Aint this misery ever gonna end?
And Ive been kicked in the teeth
Kicked in the teeth again
Two faced woman, such a crying shame
Dont know nothing, youre all the same
You run around, hope you had your fun
You never know whos gonna win till the race been run
Chorus
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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