Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
quote by Red Skelton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Collide
I felt my heart collapse
On the day that I met him
I felt my heart collapse
It filled up to the rim
I felt my heart collapse
When my eyes traveled 'round
I felt my heart collapse
The one I had found
I felt my heart collapse
When he first touched my skin
I felt my heart collapse
Oh it seemed a lovely sin
I felt my heart collapse
It fell without a sound
I felt my heart collapse
Oh I knew I had found
I felt my heart collapse
When we shared that first kiss
I felt my heart collapse
I thought that I would almost miss
I felt my heart collapse
I was lost in his embrace
I felt my heart collapse
I kept staring at his face
Oh my heart collapsed on that day
Ever since it's been that same way
My love for you has not faded
Ever since the day it escaped
poem by Courtney Beaudry
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fishing or Golf, Take your Pick
Do you golf? I've been asked this question a great deal
But I answer with a smile, "Hey, a golf ball won't make a meal."
If you use your driver or iron, whatever your whim
I reply, "I would rather try to teach a worm to swim."
Some argue, you get exercise by walking from hole to hole
You can't do that sitting in a boat holding a pole.
No matter if you golf or fish, both cost a lot of dough
And both result in making your wife a fishing or golf widow.
One can't be sure which sport is really the best
Until you have tried both, passed the inevitable test.
So, if you can worm your way through all this confusion
You might fish around and land a sound conclusion.
This won't decrease your drive nor will you be less on the ball
By weighing the pros and cons for each sport overall.
Golfing has some prestige whereas fishing does not
So pick your choice, determine your own lot.
You can't make a mistake whichever one you choose
Cause after all, what have you got to lose
So my friends, if we don't always agree
Fish around for your solution, it may fit you to a tee.
poem by Jr. William B. Booth
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
quote by Red Skelton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
quote by Chauncey Depew
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Exercise It
Exercise the will to succeed
The will can successfully enjoy itself.
Exercise the mind to proceed
The brain has much in procedure.
Exercise the body and to bleed
Inside the layers of itself.
Exercise again and again, indeed
To enliven the soul for its task.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Clubs For Lonely People
Wouldn't it be enough
To have magic golf clubs
For lonely people
That would get them friends ample
Whenever they went to play
Using those golf clubs any given day?
I am free to dream
Of a simple magical scheme
To solve a hard to fathom,
Serious problem.
poem by Lonely People Champion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You can't get rid of it with exercise alone. You can do the most vigorous exercise and only burn up 300 calories in an hour. If you've got fat on your body, the exercise firms and tones the muscles. But when you use that tape measure, what makes it bigger? It's the fat!
quote by Jack LaLanne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rock It
I'm walking to the something
Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
Collapse
I'm drinking too much bla bla,
bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
Fall out
I'm feeling really bla bla, I want to bla bla bla,
Collapse
And in the end it means I bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
The end
I got myself together
Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.
Watch out
I didn't need the patience, life bla bla bla bla bla
Collapse
Don't you sit to close, or I'll bla bla bla bla bla
Break up
Stick it up your nose
Bla bla bla bla bla bla
The end
I didn't mean to do it (Rock it, rock it)
It loved me in my head
I tried to be a charmer,
but I got a bit hopeless instead
The world is very sexy
It's part of my collapse
I'm walking to the something (It's part of my collapse...)
Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
I'm drinking too much bla bla,
bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
Fall out
I'm feeling really bla bla, I want to bla bla bla,
Collapse
And in the end it means I bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
The end
I didn't mean to do it (Rock it, rock it)
It loved me in my head
I tried to be a charmer,
but I got a bit hopeless instead
The world is very sexy
It's part of my collapse
I'm walking to the something (It's part of my collapse...)
Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
I'm drinking too much bla bla,
bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
Fall out
I'm feeling really bla bla, I want to bla bla bla,
Collapse
And in the end it means I bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
The end
Rock it
Rock it
Rock it
Rock it
song performed by by Gorillaz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.
A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.
quote by Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks.
quote by Karrie Webb
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
quote by George Deukmejian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like going there for golf. America's one vast golf course these days.
quote by Edward VIII
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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