Isn’t it annoying when women don’t put the toilet seat back up when they’re finished?
Ştefan Munteanu
Submitted by Ştefan Munteanu
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Related quotes
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
quote by Rita Rudner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women
Women behind bars, women in fast cars, women in distress, women with no dress
Women in airplanes, women who play games
Women in uniform, see that woman with her clothes gone
Women who satisfy, women you cant buy
Like women in magazines, and women in a limousine
Women who sip champagne, women who feel no pain
Women in a disco, and women who dont wanna know, no no
Oh, women wanting sympathy, women feeling extacy
Women who live in fantasies, bringing man to his knees
Women who boil to love, women who need a shove
Women who cant be beat, get that woman in the back seat, yeah yeah
Women in the usa, those women steal your heart away
Women into rock n roll, women who steal the show, go go go
Women that you write songs about, women that turn around and kick you out
Women you dream about all your life
Women that stab you in the back with a switchblade knife
Oh women, oohoo, talking bout women, all round the world
Yeah women, all the naughty girls, talking bout women, come on baby
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Are My Poems Finished/ And I Finished With Them?
ARE MY POEMS FINISHED/ AND I FINISHED WITH THEM?
Are my poems finished
And I finished with them?
Each day has a beauty of its own
Light, wind, trees, colors, flowers.
All I see
The cracks in the grey pavement before me.
The cool cool wind at my back
The prayer ahead.
Even this poem is not properly finished
And I a fool racing and rushing
Through another
Again and again and again.
poem by Shalom Freedman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lily Licked the Toilet
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I'll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She's full of germs and worms,
At least that's what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It's safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch! (To Smooch)
Why'd she have to spoil it?
Nothing's been the same since…
Lily licked the toilet!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bubble Pop Electric
I'm empty, I need fulfilling, yes I do love
To the ceiling, when I do love
I get this feeling when I'm in love
I'm restless, can't you see I try my bestest
To be good girl, because it's just us
So take me now and do me justice
I'm waiting patiently
Anticipating your arrival
And I'm hating
It takes so long to get to my house
To take me out
Tonight, I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat
Bubble pop electric, bubble pop electric
Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat
Bubble pop electric
Uh-oh, in the back seat
Ok now, I understand he's on his way now
But jeez Louise, I mean today now
I can't wait, I wanna play now
I'm antsy
Bubble pop electric pansies
My sweet tooth, I want your candy
The Queen of Eng would say it randy
I'm itchy
I wish you would come and scratch me
Tonight I'm falling, won't you catch me
Swoop on by, so you can snatch me
And take me out
Tonight, I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat
Bubble pop electric, bubble pop electric
Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat
Bubble pop electric
Uh-oh, in the back seat
The need to be satisfied
Come pick me up, I want a ride
Hurry, hurry, come to me
Drive in movie
Drive in, move me
Drive into me
Bubble pop electric
You've gotta get it
(Straight to me, drive in movie)
Take it to the back seat
Run it like a track meet
(Come to me, drive in movie)
[2x]
Tonight, I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat
Bubble pop electric, bubble pop electric
Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat
Bubble pop electric
Uh-oh, in the back seat
[2x]
song performed by by Gwen Stefani
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?
quote by Farrah Fawcett
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.
quote by Elsa Schiaparelli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two funney
Young funney
Boy...
go
The toilet...
Pass urine...
Not clean
The toilet
With water...
why...?
The boy was
funney...!
The toilet was
funney...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toilet
Every one
use
The toilet
Clean
Take water
And clean...
Clean is
Importent
her clean
Is not
Impress other's...
It is helpfull for
Healthy good
Life...
For clean
Toilet...
All ways
With your use...!
Some
human are
Use
The toilet
At animals...
You...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pepsi (a poem written to my dog)
You furry little brat
how annoying you are
howl and bark
lick you private part
annoying and disgusting
and always in the way
Oh how I hate you
but love you anyway
poem by Camilla Fodgaard
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Pupils
Theres too many people
Planning your downfall
When your spirits on trial
These nights can be frightening
Sleep transports sadness
To some other mid-brain
And somebody here
Will not be here next year
So you stand by the board
Full of fear and intention
And, if you think that theyre listening
Well, youve got to be joking
Oh, you understand change
And you think its essential
But when your profession
Is humiliation
Say the wrong word to our children ...
Well have you, oh yes, well have you
Lay a hand on our children
And its never too late to have you
Mucus on your collar
A nail up through the staff chair
A blade in your soap
And you cry into your pillow
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
Say the wrong word to our children ...
Well have you, oh yes, well have you
Lay a hand on our children
And its never too late to have you
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
To be finished would be a relief
Im very glad the spring has come
The sun shines out so bright
All the birds that are on the trees
Are singing for delight
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back Seat Confidential
? ? ? ? almost every night
? ? ? ? still alright
? ? ? ? drive in show [gonna go to the drive....]
? ? ? ? gonna sit in the back ? ? ? ? [gonna sit in the back of
The passion row]
Tune in the soundtrack
Turn down the lights
A chance she wont and a chance she might
Aint no woman in the world I know
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
Who know whats going on
Back seat confidential
Sittin on ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? connection
She ? ? ? ? my prediction
? ? ? ? listen to me
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? real nice
Every mans got his price
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
Back seat confidential
? ? ? ? almost every night
? ? ? ? still alright
? ? ? ? drive in show
? ? ? ?
Turn up the soundtrack
Turn down the lights
Dont suppose theres a chance you might
Aint no woman in the world I know
? ? ? ? on the back seat floor
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? going down
? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
Back seat confidential
Back seat confidential
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To call an old as old is an insult.
No man, old though he may be,
Likes to be treated so
When he is offered a seat beside a women.
No woman, old though she may be,
Likes to be branded so
When she is given a seat beside a man.
Don’t treat the old as old.
11.06.2002, pakd
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toilet Paper
As I sit on that glorious seat
My pants resting up on my feet
Thinking, toilet paper such a cost
Use it once and then it's lost
It's something we can't do without
Have to have it, that's no doubt
Telephone books would be nice
Wouldn't be soft, probably dice
Can't afford it, what do you do?
When you go potty, and have to poo!
poem by Donna Nimmo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Why I Don`t Care At All About Copyright
I don`t care at all about what you do with my poems.
You can steal them, laugh at them or cut them up to make
blackmail letters for your boss. You can eat them or smoke them
as long as you first bake the verses for two hours.
You can sing them in the toilet, kiss them, spray them
in the underground in Berlin, burn them, cover them with paint,
leave them at midnight before a poem orphanage or make love
to them on the back seat of an old Ford.
You can even (if you have nothing better to do) read them.
I hope that one day my poems
will grow up and run about the park
on a summer evening.
poem by Leslie Philibert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Women In Uniform
Beehive hairdo, 45 on the hip
Patrolwoman Saunders, don't you give her no whip
Took me to the station for a breathtest
then back to the bedroom for some house-arrest
[Chorus:]
Women in uniform, sometimes they look so cold
Women in uniform, but, Oh! They feel so warm
Coming back to London on a 747
Stewardess made me feel like I'm in heaven
Looking up the aisle to see what I could see
She leaned over said; Give it to me
White apron, brown leather shoes
The nurse at the clinic left my heart all bruised
Gave me a massage, sprained my right
Now she takes my temperature every night
[Chorus]
Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Commando raid on the Lebanese border
Sergeant Anita, she gives the order
Khaki jacket and a love gun
Baby, I surrender, let's have some fun
[Chorus]
[Solo]
[Chorus]
Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Women in uniform, Khaki, white and blue
Women in uniform, coming after you
Women, women, Women in uniform
Women, women, Women in uniform
[Chorus]
song performed by by Iron Maiden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Gardener XI: Come As You Are
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If your braided hair has loosened if
the parting of your hair be not straight,
if the ribbons of your bodice be not
fastened, do not mind.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
If the raddle come from your feet
because of the dew, of the rings of bells
upon your feet slacken, if pearls drop
out of your chain, do not mind.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
Flocks of cranes fly up from the
further river-bank and fitful gusts of
wind rush over the heath.
The anxious cattle run to their stalls
in the village.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
In vain you light your toilet lamp
--it flickers and goes out in the
wind.
Who can know that your eyelids
have not been touched with lamp-
black? For your eyes are darker
than rain-clouds.
In vain you light your toilet lamp--
it goes out.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If the wreath is not woven, who
cares; if the wrist-chain had not been
linked, let it be.
The sky is overcast with clouds--it
is late.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If you sit on a seat, and that seat is a comfortable seat, sit on that seat, and do not leave that seat.
Unchained Melody (Parody on 'The Streets of London)
(John London’s Radio Talk Show when he was
accidentally locked in the toilet)
Did you hear the shrieks fo London
From the toilet in the station
Calling for Jon-Jon
To come and set him free.
Armine let forth a sigh
Should it be one or two-ply
Nobody worried
The show must go on.
So how can you say
You were lonely
…and things about
where the sun don’t shine…..
So Jon-Jon took you by the hand
And quelled indeed the
shrieks of London
Back to the station….
Unchained melody.
poem by Margaret Kollmer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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