Some Dress The Part
Plus fours, flashy sweaters and electric carts
Its golf, so you must dress the part
Carbon fibre clubs with big heads and a lob wedge
Must surely give us the edge
When coupled with balls from Calloway
And others guaranteed to fly away
That claim to avoid both slice and fade
Which no dimple invented yet can evade.
To play each hole with no regrets
Keeping strokes to requested index
It’s all so easy we can see
If only it applied to me.
Should I think of all the rules
Or maybe join all the other fools
Who only just strike the ball
And never seem in trouble at all.
Positive thinking seems to be
The measure which works best
A smashing thunder strike I see
Could remove all problems from my brain
Leading to eternal fame
Yet who is it that gets more fun
A soixante neuf or a 101?
poem by Keith Oldrey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Problems
I wont take no lies, hanging out all night
The gig is up, enough, its enough
Youre wrong, dead wrong, wont take no more
Cause I see your game and dumb is not my name
Pack your bags, call you a cab
No more laughs
Cause Im not the one that youre gonna play on
Move along, sing a song
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
Got love for you, but I cant stand you
I page you, you wont call
Whats a 2-way for
Strike one, strike two, strike three, no more me
Cause I see the game and dumbs not my name
Pack your bags, call you a cab
No more laughs
Cause Im not the one that youre gonna play on
Move along, sing a song
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
We can do this any way that
You want cause I dont care
Its no problem and Im not the one
Pack your bags, call you a cab
No more laughs
Cause Im not the one that youre gonna play on
Move along, sing a song
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
[over chorus]
Its plain to see, you cant have me
Cause you gon be a playa for life
Its plain to see, you cant have me
Cause you gon be a playa for life
Its plain to see, you cant have me
Cause you gon be a playa for life
Its plain to see, you cant have me
Cause you gon be a playa for life
You give me problems, problems
Too many problems
Dont want no problems, problems
No time to solve them
song performed by by Nivea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Golf 'N' Me
Golf and me are not to be I’ve tried it many times,
I slipped I fell and heard folk yell and even hit a old brass bell
At hole’s I crossed when ball was lost
Then shortly after leaving Tee I let those pass who Tee long after me
While colleagues wait quiet patiently for me to find a perfect swing
And make the day worthwhile thing
Then suddenly success it’s been I find my swing and hit the green
A putters what you need right now until I seem to miss somehow
Again to find the missing ball oh why do I bother at all?
The driving range would sort me out or so the experts all would shout
Yet many balls I’d bash and hit just went their own way, not ahead
The many times I failed to hit a single net or hole or flag
Yes golf and me are not to be and now we all know why
So shoes that crimp and made me limp, the single glove and strange shape clubs
I waive them all goodbye!
Copyright © 2007 Ray Feasey
poem by Ray Feasey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Bad Fit
How many nails do I have to have
hammered into my brain to realise
we don't fit?
This liaison has always been flawed.
Gel, we never did, but we had passion.
A wealth of it.
Should I take this hammer
and strike the final blow?
I don't know.
Hammers strike memories,
as though they're all piano keys
and the sound is harsh..
They have me re-visiting old war wounds
that I should have buried years ago.
They are awakening.
They've been dormant for so long.
Maybe I should have one final strike
and put them to rest.
The trouble is, if I pick up the hammer
and strike the first blow,
I may never stop
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Charactered Nature
Keeping my soul is like keeping faith,
Character is important, like the balls of fire
That rage on in the very halls of fame.
They have fame as a grace, they have ugly traits
But beautiful on the outside.
The fire is strange, of keeping the soul,
Character is important.
May the goodness of life strike rich with success,
Too much success is developed with the character built.
May the outer happiness be an inner happiness,
Keeping the soul is like keeping character.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Art of Deception
It’s not a game
like any other game
where a golf ball travels the distance
and being putted into a hole
it is only a small white ball
being lured into a hole
dark and full of deception
have you ever wondered
why the ball is never black?
the hands that hold the putter
take a firm grip in a certain art form
there is positional assurance
before teeing
and these very hands
network with the mind
in continuance they play
vicariously with the heart
and when the world
is minding its own course
and waiting for another PGA tournament,
the greenery is overshadowed
like a transgressor
the golfer becomes an infidel
drunk like a kite in the wind
moaning in apology
with numbness on his lips
making a hiatus
wider than the golf course
how to fine tune this art
with family blunted by fame?
and fortune?
and deception?
poem by Leonard Dabydeen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Golf-Slow Torture by Handicap
Golf is such a silly game
The less you play it-The greater the fame
But not alas for your average punter
Who stalks the long grass, more like a hunter.
He really isn't playing at all
Half the time he's looking for his ball.
Head always moving(if not hanging in shame)
The ball stays still, so the players to blame.
As more and more strokes we amass
Mainly playing from the longest grass
Temper flaming and words quite blue!
Are you sure this is the game for you?
The just one shot, that you do not thin
And look! Your nearest the pin
Bringing the fame that you seek
Ensuring your return, and the dream
That you will do better - next week!!!
poem by Keith Oldrey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Electric Fan
An electric fan
That keeps me company tonight
Its nights like this make
It easy to forget
Why we used to fight
...it also makes it easy
To forget the words...
...right...
An electric fan
That keeps me company tonight
Its nights like this make
It easy to forget
Why we used to fight
Love is an ember
Born to burn out
Well, I wish it would
No, I dont feel that good
Lately they blend
And blur with the scenery
Crowded rooms make it easy
To forget Im lonely
The cat puked in my shoe
Guess its fitting it would
But i, I dont feel that good
Regrets a useless word
Usually I try to avoid it
But sometimes it gets so quiet
That I cant remember the morals
But the part I cant admit
When youre thinking out loud
Is just a whisper
That feels like a shout
Oh, god, I made a mistake
I cant breathe without you
The cars driving by
They throw their lights
Against the wall
I should go to bed
Get out of this chair
And turn the tv off
Oh goody! I get to go to bed alone!
If I could get excited I would
No, I dont feel that good
song performed by by Jewel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
David Cleek
I cannot think that Death will press his claim
To snuff you out or put you off your game:
You’ll still contrive to play your steady round,
Though hurricanes may sweep the dismal ground,
And darkness blur the sandy-skirted green
Where silence gulfs the shot you strike so clean.
Saint Andrew guard your ghost, old David Cleek,
And send you home to Fifeshire once a week!
Good fortune speed your ball upon its way
When Heaven decrees its mightiest Medal Day;
Till saints and angels hymn for evermore
The miracle of your astounding score;
And He who keeps all players in His sight,
Walking the royal and ancient hills of light
Standing benignant at the eighteenth hole,
To everlasting Golf consigns your soul.
poem by Siegfried Sassoon
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
031910e Put In The Hole
i open my trunk and break out my club
pick out six balls and neatly line it up
stretch, bend, touch my toes for a few
practice swinging to upgrade my tempo
line up my feet to the center of the lake
recoil, release, impact, flew and wake
it landed to where it's not intended to be
good distance, slice, went out of the way
nice i would rather have bad shots now
blame not my club, i did what cause that
i know somebody is there watching me
maybe behind those windows, i see
i'm here to remind what should be done
relax, get out, get your golf bag have fun
i know you're winter rusty, so is everybody
so what if you'll lost few balls or hit a tree
you're just thinking of one thing, put in hole
yes, drive it, chip it, putt it and hear it growl
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Ch 08 On Rules For Conduct In Life - Maxim 29
To strike one’s fist on a lion, and to grasp the sharp edge of a sword with the hand, is not the part of an intelligent man.
Do not fight or try thy strength with a furious man.
Hide thy hands in thy arm-pits to avoid his finger-nails.
Carbon Sinks
I think that I shall never see
a better Carbon Sink than M.I.T.’s
It helps keep green house gas at bay
By sequestering it away
The Carbon Sink works like a tree
but does it more efficiently
When trees in wintertime are bare
The Carbon Sink still cleans the air
And trees can yield up carbon once again
When Forest fires make them burn
Poems are made by fools like me
But Carbon Sinks are made by M.I.T
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Walk In Light
regrets regrets
i have none
i believe not
in regrets
i walk not
in regrets shadows
regret has
no power
over true love
some were born
to give freely
to give constantly
to give endearingly
to give enduringly
some were born
choose to hate
choose to hurt
constantly
repetitively
inflict ing agony
in agony
rage the world
i will not join you
i choose
to hurt not deliberately
in premeditated strike
make love
a road of choice
to walk in life
walk in light
love is lasting
love is continuing
love is durable
love is long-suffering
love is patient kind
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
051310N you learn from person you meet
i'm watching a gentleman from tee
how he swing his golf clubs today
he goes left and right; searching
two landed on lake; three on tree
he could have lost six or more; easy
he is doing good; very courageous
i gave him some of my orphan balls
when he passed me; he's inviting me
i told him ' i have to practice more'
he looks at me; smiled and walk away
unknown to him i've been playing regularly
i hope he won't lost anymore balls today
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
A poor caddy who goes behind the Masters
The skinny dreamer strike the ball and it's landed on the Horizon.
But they are not ready to grant him the championship until he brings back the lost ball.
Oh! The voiceless stampede Golf ground cried alone
And he collected the tears in the dawn.
Dedication to all those who touch the grass for solace.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Whiff
If you can keep your head when all about you
are losing balls and blaming it on fate
If you can trust the swing your partner doesn't rate
but make allowance for their whingeing too
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
or stymied by bad breaks don't blame the lie
or being baited, don't give way to baiting
and yet never give up and always try
If you can treat that birdie and the bogey
with equal grace and don't excite the heart
or play Adonis or rank and file old fogey
and live the role and act the part
then all golf's splendour will surely come
and what's more you'll be a golfer my son
poem by Kris Viscardini
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
We Dug A Hole
His head is a big black hole
full of big black things
and it sucks so hard
you could never against the mud
Sugar plum, no ones ever seen anything come
ouch, what a travesty, what a sad fate
someone get a band-aid please
we gotta get this guy a machine for his cranium
I mean I don't need
maybe I don't hear what i need
this never really goes anywhere
We dug a hole
And put our heads in it
We dug a hole
We dug a hole
And put our heads in
This winter they come too quick and broad
with not enough hot spiced cider or cinnamon toast
you never think you know this but when you got a dead start
sucking up both times in your brain
things start to change
and for the record let me say
its not his fault that things never change
the summer is always too short
and still they broke up for a guy with a black hole in his head
and you'll never meet him anyway
We dug a hole
And put our heads in it
We dug a hole
We dug a hole
And put our heads in it
We dug a hole
(We dug a hole)
song performed by by Ok Go
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Clubs For Lonely People
Wouldn't it be enough
To have magic golf clubs
For lonely people
That would get them friends ample
Whenever they went to play
Using those golf clubs any given day?
I am free to dream
Of a simple magical scheme
To solve a hard to fathom,
Serious problem.
poem by Lonely People Champion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Limit
Tempo!
Limit;
My brain,
Your brain,
Einstein's brain! !
In common,
But, to drive us apart with negative minds.
Tempo!
Limit;
My brain,
Your brain,
Einstein's brain! !
In common,
But to hold us together with positive works.
Toad, load, road, broad!
Ignominious,
Tent, intent;
test, attest;
Mutter, butter, cutter, utter, gutter, putter! !
But, let us all try to do positive works only in this life.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!