The Perils of Invisibility
Old PETER led a wretched life -
Old PETER had a furious wife;
Old PETER too was truly stout,
He measured several yards about.
The little fairy PICKLEKIN
One summer afternoon looked in,
And said, "Old PETER, how de do?
Can I do anything for you?
"I have three gifts - the first will give
Unbounded riches while you live;
The second health where'er you be;
The third, invisibility."
"O little fairy PICKLEKIN,"
Old PETER answered with a grin,
"To hesitate would be absurd, -
Undoubtedly I choose the third."
"'Tis yours," the fairy said; "be quite
Invisible to mortal sight
Whene'er you please. Remember me
Most kindly, pray, to MRS. P."
Old MRS. PETER overheard
Wee PICKLEKIN'S concluding word,
And, jealous of her girlhood's choice,
Said, "That was some young woman's voice:
Old PETER let her scold and swear -
Old PETER, bless him, didn't care.
"My dear, your rage is wasted quite -
Observe, I disappear from sight!"
A well-bred fairy (so I've heard)
Is always faithful to her word:
Old PETER vanished like a shot,
Put then - HIS SUIT OF CLOTHES DID NOT!
For when conferred the fairy slim
Invisibility on HIM,
She popped away on fairy wings,
Without referring to his "things."
So there remained a coat of blue,
A vest and double eyeglass too,
His tail, his shoes, his socks as well,
His pair of - no, I must not tell.
Old MRS. PETER soon began
To see the failure of his plan,
And then resolved (I quote the Bard)
To "hoist him with his own petard."
Old PETER woke next day and dressed,
Put on his coat, and shoes, and vest,
His shirt and stock; BUT COULD NOT FIND
HIS ONLY PAIR OF - never mind!
Old PETER was a decent man,
And though he twigged his lady's plan,
Yet, hearing her approaching, he
Resumed invisibility.
"Dear MRS. P., my only joy,"
Exclaimed the horrified old boy,
"Now, give them up, I beg of you -
You know what I'm referring to!"
But no; the cross old lady swore
She'd keep his - what I said before -
To make him publicly absurd;
And MRS. PETER kept her word.
The poor old fellow had no rest;
His coat, his stick, his shoes, his vest,
Were all that now met mortal eye -
The rest, invisibility!
"Now, madam, give them up, I beg -
I've had rheumatics in my leg;
Besides, until you do, it's plain
I cannot come to sight again!
"For though some mirth it might afford
To see my clothes without their lord,
Yet there would rise indignant oaths
If he were seen without his clothes!"
But no; resolved to have her quiz,
The lady held her own - and his -
And PETER left his humble cot
To find a pair of - you know what.
But - here's the worst of the affair -
Whene'er he came across a pair
Already placed for him to don,
He was too stout to get them on!
So he resolved at once to train,
And walked and walked with all his main;
For years he paced this mortal earth,
To bring himself to decent girth.
At night, when all around is still,
You'll find him pounding up a hill;
And shrieking peasants whom he meets,
Fall down in terror on the peats!
Old PETER walks through wind and rain,
Resolved to train, and train, and train,
Until he weighs twelve stone' or so -
And when he does, I'll let you know.
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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Related quotes
The Ballad Of Peter Pumpkinhead
Peter pumpkinhead came to town
Spreading wisdom and cash around
Fed the starving and housed the poor
Showed the vatican what golds for
But he made too many enemies
Of the people who would keep us on our knees
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Wholl pray for peter pumpkinhead?
Oh my!
Peter pumpkinhead pulled them all
Emptied churches and shopping malls
Where he spoke, it would raise the roof
Peter pumpkinhead told the truth
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead put to shame
Governments who would slur his name
Plots and sex scandals failed outright
Peter merely said
Any kind of love is alright
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live tv
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!
But he made too many enemies...
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Wholl pray for peter pumpkin
Hooray for peter pumpkinhead
Oh my oh my oh!
Doesnt it make you want to cry oh?
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I heard my name associated with the Peter Pan syndrome more than once. But really, what's so wrong with Peter Pan? Peter Pan flies. He is a metaphor for dreams and faith.
quote by Mark Burnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas At The Pearly Gates
Three men die on Christmas day
And then arrive at the pearly gates
St Peter starts to turn them away
Since his records say they’re reprobates
But since it was Christmas …well
He might let them in
If they had any symbol
of Christmas with them
The first had an ornament in his pocket
St Peter ushered him in
The second had pine needles on his shirt
St Peter bade him within
The third gentleman with a look of chagrin
Pulled out a pair of panties of green and red
“How do these represent Christmas? ”
Astounded, St Peter said
“Well Pete, I know you are familiar
With beautiful, Christmas carols
And these skimpies might seem to you
Simply as risqué apparel.”
“Well…These are Carol’s, ”
the man said with a grin
Saint Peter rolled his eyes…
And then let him in
poem by David Whalen
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He forgot—and I—remembered
203
He forgot—and I—remembered—
'Twas an everyday affair—
Long ago as Christ and Peter—
"Warmed them" at the "Temple fire."
"Thou wert with him"—quoth "the Damsel"?
"No"—said Peter, 'twasn't me—
Jesus merely "looked" at Peter—
Could I do aught else—to Thee?
poem by Emily Dickinson
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St. Peter At The Golden Gate
St. Peter at the Golden Gate
Explained, for me it’s much too late
That Heaven’s gate, without a doubt
Was built right there to keep me out
It’s common knowledge, I’m no Saint
But a real bad guy, I surely ain’t
Heaven knows, I’ve done some wrong
But it doesn’t mean I don’t belong
I know I’m not the most devout
But pray, St. Peter, don’t fence me out
I promise I won’t cause chagrin
To those in Heaven, all fenced in
I’ll run a casino for all to enjoy
I’ll run it as pure as an altar boy
And dear St. Peter, I give you this pledge
At Heaven’s casino, I’ll give you an edge
So you see, St. Peter, Heaven can’t wait
What’s needed in Heaven, is me, your soul mate
Do what you can to unlock the key
So together we’ll be, St. Peter and me…
poem by Stanley Cooper
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Washing up
'Grab a hold of that dish-cloth our Peter,
And give me a lift with these dishes;
We don't have a genie in this house
To help us, by giving three wishes.
It's manual labour our Peter,
A straightforward job in the sink;
A mountain of mucky old dishes
And then we can go for a drink.
Our Ena is ever so fussy though,
The glasses, they MUST be done first;
The cups and the plates are then easy,
The large greasy pans are the worst.'
'Put plenty of 'fairy' in Peter'
Said Fred, 'it will save you from scrubbing;
We'll soon have them spotless and shining
And then me and you can go clubbing.'
'Grab a hold of that towel our Freddie,
This mountain is now just a hill;
Just two more, then a colander Freddie,
And then I'll be on to the grill.'
Soon the hill was as flat as a pancake,
The dishes were done and all dry;
Fred and Peter were happy as sandboys,
To the boozer their feet would soon fly.
'Hey Ena! they're done, we have finished,
I told you we wouldn't get vexed; '
'Hey Peter, and Fred! no you haven't,
I told you, the ironing is next.'
(Written Jan 1996)
poem by John Carter Brown
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The Relativity
To leave John and move towards Peter,
I must hate John or love Peter more.
John must ignore, or Peter must lure.
Relations thrive in relativity.
(17.05.2011)
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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The Long Doze
The Long Doze
God woke up
he had slept since world war one.
He was in good mood
On his desk two stacks of papers
one for the righteous people
one for atheists
He called St. Peter and said:
“Let them all in.”
“Are you sure Peter muttered?
“Peter, just do as I say.”
“I like to see
how happy the good will be”
God giggled
“But, most of all the astonishment
In the faces of non believers. “
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Mr. Peter & my sister
Mr. Peter & my sister
This poem goes out to Mr. Peter
Who is a friend of my sister
And blow out my cover
In order to hide
I wrote my name backward
Until…the same day
My sister who is smart like Holmes
And Mr. Peter who is a genius
Discovered my disguise
And ruined my surprise.
July 9,2005
poem by Konjit Berhane
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Walking On The Water (Bible Poems for Childen)
One night the disciples
were crossing the sea,
On their way to Galilee.
Jesus left the men that
day,
Went to the mountains to
pray.
Strong winds smashed
against the boat,
They could hardly stay
afloat.
Heard a noise, scared as
could be,
Someone was walking on
the sea,
Who is that, coming here,
Jesus said, do not fear.
It is I, come to me,
Peter arose, walked the
sea.
When Peter looked at the
brink,
He got scared, began to
sink.
Jesus held Peter's hand
tight,
Stepped into the boat
that night.
poem by Heather Burns
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How we backed the Favourite
'Sure thing,' said the grocer; 'as far as I know, sir,
This horse, Peter Pan, is the safest of certs.'
'I see by the paper,' commanded the draper,
'He's tipped and he carries my whole weight of shirts.'
The butcher said, 'Well, now, it's easy to tell now
There's nothing else in it except Peter Pan.'
And so the baker, the barman, bookmaker,
The old lady char and the saveloy man.
'You stick to my tip, man,' admonished the grip-man,
'Play up Peter Pan; he's a stayer with speed.'
And the newspaper vendor, the ancient road mender,
And even the cop at the corner agreed.
The barber said, 'Win it? There's nothing else in it.
I backed Peter Pan with the last that I had.'
'Too right,' said the liftman. 'The horse is a gift, man.'
The old jobbing gardener said, 'Peter Pan, lad!'
I know nought of racing. The task I was facing,
It filled me with pain and unreasoning dread.
They all seemed so certain. And yet a dark curtain
Of doubt dulled my mind… But I must keep my head!
I went to the races, and I watched all their faces.
I saw Peter Pan's; there was little he lacked.
And as he seemed willing, I planked on my shilling
And triumphed! And that's how the favorite was backed.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me.
quote by Paul Reiser
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Death Of Peter Pan
The Death of Peter Pan
Peter Pan used to be black, he could sing and dance
and make jazz hands. He was so good that it made
sense to make him white, the world embraced him.
Everyone had a stake in him as he was transformed
into a pale ghost with a plastic nose, no one laughed
too much money at stake. Peter Pan liked children
too much for normal society to tolerate, but money
smoothed the way, but do not do it again.
Peter Pan was fragile doctors were always at hand to
give him injections that lifted his spirit and made him
feel good, and he needed more of it now that he was
middle aged, yet trying to look fourteen. His handlers
thought there was more money to wring out of his
tortured body. One, two, three, Peter couldn’t breath
collapsed in heap, and that’s a pity now that USA has
a black president and he could be himself again.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Its Midnight Cinderella
Its midnight cinderella but dont you worry none
cause Im peter peter the pumpkin eater
And the partys just begun.
I guess your prince charming
Wasnt after all
cause he sure seemed different right after the ball.
I guess more than horses are turnin into rats
And by the way hes walkin
I can guess where your slippers at.
(chorus)
Its midnight cinderella time that you should know
Theres gonna be some changes in the way this story goes
Its midnight cinderella but dont you worry none
cause Im peter peter the pumkin eater
And the partys just begun.
Im gonna help you get over
Bein under that spell
Youre gonna learn to love midnight
Inside this pumpkin shell
I gotta few new magic tricks
Your godmother cant do
Ill show you what it means to
Bip, bip, bip, bip, boppity boo.
*chorus*
Im peter peter the pumpkin eater
And the party has now begun
song performed by by Garth Brooks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Peter Percival Pattersons Pet Pig Porky
Peter percival patterson had a pet pig named porky
This pet pig named porky loved pie
He loved pizza pie, pumpkin pie, pineapple pie, pizza pie, mints tarts
And peter percival pattersons pet pig porky loved
Pie for breakefast, pie for lunch, pie in the afternoon and pie before he
Went to bed.
Peter percival pattersons pet pig porky ate soo much pie,
Do you know what he did?
He popped.
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Icthus (JS#5)
Epiphany 5
Many fishes
Jesus fishes
Peter no fish
Jesus “pish pish “
Peter empty dish
Jesus full dish
Peter bare dish
Jesus extra dish
Peter one dish
Jesus many dishes
Peter fish
Jesus fishes
B.C. fish
A.D. fishes
B.C. Moses
A.D. Jesus
poem by James Hart
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Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
Laurence J. Peter in The Peter Principle (1969)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Online Chat
Bored... nothing to do says:
Hello! Hi! How are you? :)
Fan of Peter Pan says:
Fine. I'm getting a tan.: P
MSN is cool! : D says:
I'm doing stuff for school.: (
Bored... nothing to do says:
I'm doing homework too! : o
Fan of Peter Pan says:
I've got to go now, man.: '(
Fan of Peter Pan has left the conversation.
Bored... nothing to do has left the conversation.
poem by Cheryl Cheng
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Oh What A World! ! !
Oh What A World
She takes me for a twirl
Accidental encounters
Crystal counters
Oh What A World
Every significant moment
Vital...In the blink of an eye
Life Changing...With Nature's Wind
Every Decision made.
Oh What A World
Life takes us for a twirl
Life-Saving, Life -Altering
Appreciation for what is given.
Bestowed upon thy world my love.
It is A gift from above
Oh What A World
Continents collide
So Far in Destination
Yet so close in ideology
So Close Yet So Far
So Far Yet So Close
Peter LeBuhn
Copyright ©2005 Peter LeBuhn
poem by Peter LeBuhn
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Ungovernable In Her Arms
Peter was ungovernable in her arms,
They murmured a measure of imagination
To themselves, forgetting the stereo
And radio, to be forgiven at length,
And then the television was on for ever.
Then another altogether: Peter and herself
Were staging a rebellion through the forest
Of doom and delight, the forest that arms
Itself with gloom and glory and gold,
Whatever they acted they swallowed.
Peter and his friend Sue crept into the factory
Found outside the forest of gloomy appearance.
Inside they saw the story of their life,
Life was gloomy inside and a machine trapped
Them faster than the eye.
They were in a distress after too much love,
Yet the human who mastered them does not help.
poem by Naveed Akram
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