St. Peter At The Golden Gate
St. Peter at the Golden Gate
Explained, for me it’s much too late
That Heaven’s gate, without a doubt
Was built right there to keep me out
It’s common knowledge, I’m no Saint
But a real bad guy, I surely ain’t
Heaven knows, I’ve done some wrong
But it doesn’t mean I don’t belong
I know I’m not the most devout
But pray, St. Peter, don’t fence me out
I promise I won’t cause chagrin
To those in Heaven, all fenced in
I’ll run a casino for all to enjoy
I’ll run it as pure as an altar boy
And dear St. Peter, I give you this pledge
At Heaven’s casino, I’ll give you an edge
So you see, St. Peter, Heaven can’t wait
What’s needed in Heaven, is me, your soul mate
Do what you can to unlock the key
So together we’ll be, St. Peter and me…
poem by Stanley Cooper
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Two Husbands
Unpenitent, I grieve to state,
Two good men stood by heaven's gate,
Saint Peter coming to await.
The stopped the Keeper of the Keys,
Saying: "What suppliants are these,
Who wait me not on bended knees?
"To get my heavenly Okay
A man should have been used to pray,
Or suffered in some grievous way."
"Oh I have suffered," cried the first.
"Of wives I had the wicked worst,
Who made my life a plague accurst.
"Such martyrdom no tongue can tell;
In mercy's name it is not well
To doom me to another hell."
Saint Peter said: "I comprehend;
But tribulations have their end.
The gate is open, - go my friend."
Then said the second: "What of me?
More I deserve to pass than he,
For I've been wedded twice, you see."
Saint Peter looked at him a while,
And then he answered with a smile:
"Your application I will file.
"Yet twice in double yoke you've driven . . .
Though sinners with our Saints we leaven,
We don't take IMBECILES in heaven."
poem by Robert William Service
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Always Think Of Heaven
When Family loves you, you can tell
Always think of Heaven; never Hell
When Family photos are taken, they exude all
Always think of Heaven; Peter and Paul
When Family is together, there is a word 'kiss'
Always think of Heaven; Genesis
When Family creates, the best feeling around
Always think of Heaven; actually solid ground
When Family reunions, are the years' events
Always think of Heaven; you are Heaven sent
When Family members, are graduating school
Always think of Heaven; actually really cool
When Family takes a fall, then just has to rest
Always think of Heaven; it will be the best
When Family has turmoil, agony and pain
Always think of Heaven; it actually helps again
When Family needs a break, in life's' game
Always think of Heaven; that's where the Lord remains
poem by Dwayne Banks
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Mr. Sheets
The Devil stood before the gate
Of Heaven. He had a single mate:
Behind him, in his shadow, slunk
Clay Sheets in a perspiring funk.
'Saint Peter, see this season ticket,'
Said Satan; 'pray undo the wicket.'
The sleepy Saint threw slight regard
Upon the proffered bit of card,
Signed by some clerical dead-beats:
'Admit the bearer and Clay Sheets.'
Peter expanded all his eyes:
''Clay Sheets?'-well, I'll be damned!' he cries.
'Our couches are of golden cloud;
Nothing of earth is here allowed.
I'll let you in,' he added, shedding
On Nick a smile-'but not your bedding.'
poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Heaven
Everynight I go to sleep, youre there baby inside my head
Whats the secret that you keep
Its not fair baby, I toss in bed
One night I had the strangest dream
Dreamt I made love to you
You better believe it, it felt so real
Spent the night in the sea of love
Its crazy the attraction that I feel, now baby
It hit like a heart attack, I feel in my soul
But the trains running off the track and I cant get control
Sleepwalking in the house of love
I heard saint peter was calling
As I was making love to you
Dreamed that Id died and gone to heaven
I woke up in your arms
Dreamed that I died and gone to heaven
Nothing now will ever be the same
Saint peter call me back again
Take me there baby, you got me good
I want to hear his choir of angels sing
I say a prayer baby, I knock on wood
That every night I wake up restless from the heat
You got to believe I never had such a physical dream baby
Its built on sacred ground, your image in my head
So I lay my body down on the alter of my bed
I wait in the house of love and hope for sleep to come calling
So Ill be making love to you
Dreamed that Id died and gone to heaven
I woke up in your arms
Dreamed that I died and gone to heaven
Nothing now will ever be the same
Dreamed Id died and gone to heaven
Dreamed my life was through
Dreamed Id died and gone to heaven, woke in love with you
It hit like a heart attack, it came from out of nowhere
But the trains running off the track on a fragile wing and a prayer
Sleepwalking in the house of love I heard saint peter was calling
As I was making love to you
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Judgment Day
Saint Peter stood, at Heaven's gate,
All souls claims to adjudicate
Saying to some souls, 'Enter in!'
'Go to Hell,' to others, 'you are steeped in sin.'
When up from earth, with a great hubbub,
Came all the members of the Tuscarora Club.
The angel Gabriel, peering out,
Said, 'What, the devil, is this noise about?'
'Gabe,' said Peter, 'There's always lots of noise,
At any get-together of the Tuscarora boys -
Those are anglers and they all tell lies
About the trout that got away, their fierceness and their size -
They want to enter Heaven, for our brooks are full of trout,
But I won't have any liars, and I'll keep the whole gang out;
No liars enter Heaven, and I'll most distinctly tell
The whole danged Tuscarora Club, it has to go to Hell.'
Then, at a little distance from the precious pearly gate,
The Tuscarora fellows paused to talk and cogitate;
One Barr said this, one Barr said that, McAlpin had his say,
But foxy Charley Roberts said, 'This is the only way -
'You'd best leave this to me,' he said. 'Just let me handle Pete
and in a trice we'll be inside upon the golden street;
I'll show him that he's one of us, because he used to be,
Himself, a brother fisher, in the Sea of Gallilee-
And I move you, Mr. President, we make the poor old dub
An honorary member of the Tuscarora Club.'
'Agreed! Agreed!' the members cried, but Manny Barr said, 'Wait!
Amend it thus 'PROVIDED - That he didn't fish with bait.''
Saint Peter saw them coming but his face was hard and stern,
He had formed his resolution from which he would not turn,
Not even Roberts' palaver would ever change him so
He'd send the Tuscarorans anywhere, but down below.
But now upon his countenance there came a look of pain,
He stepped from foot to foot, and then from foot to foot again:
He hailed a new-come resident, who near the portal stood,
A goodly Christian gentleman, whose name was Hubert Wood.
He said to him, 'Come here, my friend, and tend awhile this gate-
Just take my place for half an hour - I've got to urinate.'
With that Saint Peter hustled off. The gate-keeper pro tem
Observed the Tuscarorans and he waved his hand at them.
'Come in! come in!' he shouted, for he was an angler, too,
And he knew that anglers, as a whole, were earth's most harmless crew.
So all the Tuscarorans got to heaven, thanks to Wood,
And the Secretary's last report says, 'Fishing there is good.'
poem by Ellis Parker Butler
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Heaven Is
Heaven is a woman
Dressed in blue
And heaven is knowing
Someone who is in love with you
Heaven is a television
Left on all day
And heaven is making love
And then running away
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is believing
What your eyes dont see
And heaven is christy canyon
Falling in love with me
Heaven in waking up
To be a millionaire
And heaven is spending the whole next day
Just walking on air
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is
All these things you say and do
It doesnt mean that much to you
But all these things you said to me
The memories wont set me free
Heaven is a dream
When it wont come true
And heaven is the sky
When its always blue
Heaven is the girl
With short black hair
And heaven is a woman
With enough to spare
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is
And heaven is taking a holiday
And heaven is having you here to stay
And heaven is never ever saying sorry
And heaven is as easy as abc
And heaven is your eyes when theyre always blue
And heaven is just right here with you
Heaven is
Heaven is
Heaven is
song performed by by Omd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Heaven Help Me
If you want it you can have it
Thats what you said
But I dont want the things that you leave behind
Take the pictures, take the windows and the walls
But baby wont you leave me my peace of mind
Oh such a waste of time
Oh such a waste
I still want you baby
Heaven help me heaven help me
Talk to strangers talk to strangers
Heaven help me
Over you
Help me over you
I cant seem to take these changes
Everything reminds my heart of you
Thought the first time was the last time
Of being apart
Now I find Im having to search again
Itll happen
Its gotta happen
Come together
I just wish somebody would tell me when
Oh such a waste of time
Oh such a waste
I still want you baby
(chorus)
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
(repeat chorus twice)
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
Youre someone elses lady
So sad without you darlin
The gods of love cant help me now
Heaven help heaven help
Heaven, heaven heaven help me
song performed by by George Michael
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas At The Pearly Gates
Three men die on Christmas day
And then arrive at the pearly gates
St Peter starts to turn them away
Since his records say they’re reprobates
But since it was Christmas …well
He might let them in
If they had any symbol
of Christmas with them
The first had an ornament in his pocket
St Peter ushered him in
The second had pine needles on his shirt
St Peter bade him within
The third gentleman with a look of chagrin
Pulled out a pair of panties of green and red
“How do these represent Christmas? ”
Astounded, St Peter said
“Well Pete, I know you are familiar
With beautiful, Christmas carols
And these skimpies might seem to you
Simply as risqué apparel.”
“Well…These are Carol’s, ”
the man said with a grin
Saint Peter rolled his eyes…
And then let him in
poem by David Whalen
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The Pope And Tiger Woods
The Pope dies on the very day
that Tiger Woods is whisked away,
their souls rise to the distant skies
where they soon meet with a surprise.
Administrative bungling can
affect in many ways a man,
the Pope (with nothing to repent)
was quickly to the Devil sent.
While Tiger passed the Pearly Gate
where he soon found a golfing mate.
The error was discovered though
St. Peter sent a note below
and told the Devil to release
the Holy Man, and promptly please.
The Devil liked the gentle tone
and put down his red Nokia phone,
next day the Pope was sent to Heaven
at fifteen minutes to eleven.
He met, halfway that Tiger bloke
who looked dejected, sad and broke
he said dear Sir, I'm truly sad
that clerk, he must have been quite mad,
I do belong of course in Hell
and you in Heaven, Sir, be well.
The Pope said son I am excited
and glad this mix-up now is righted,
and Virgin Mary....I can't wait!
Said Tiger, sorry one day late.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Heaven Is My Dream Home
Heaven is my home, home home home
Heaven Is my traditional home
Heaven is a place of peace and joy
Heaven I look to you
Heaven keep remembering me to keep my ways
Heaven where I will see choir's sing in Glory of my lord
Heaven is the Land of gold, sliver, and diamond
Heaven is my dream home.
Heaven when will I see you again
Heaven where old became young
Heaven where you shall strength no more
Heaven rejoice with righteous people
Heaven is a place where all soul are longing for
Heaven where I shall be reward
Heaven where there will be holiness among all soul
Heaven I need you.
poem by Abidemi Aniyeloye
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Angel Of Mercy
Well theres a peter pan moon shepards delight
I got to drag in at noon and won the fight
I want my reward in heaven tonight
Just like you promised
Angel of mercy youll come to no harm
Angel of mercy theres no need for alarm
The knight in his armor wants a night in your arms
You know hes honest
Angel of mercy angel delight
Give me my reward in heaven tonight
And if I give up my sword wont you give me the right sweet angel
Well now its too late for talking we can talk later on
Let the saxophone play us until the chorus of dawn
All I need is a little oblivion
You dont need protection
Here comes the moonlight down on your bed
Angel of mercy let your heart rule your head
I dont want your money I want you instead
Dont need rejection
Angel of mercy angel delight
Give me my reward in heaven tonight
And if I give up my sword wont you give me the right
Angel of mercy give me heaven tonight
Well if you cross your heart and spit
And swear upon the grave of your mother
You got to get in the hit
Tell me that Im your all night lover
Angel of mercy angel delight
Give me my reward in heaven tonight
And if I give up my sword wont you give me the right
Angel of mercy give me heaven tonight
Angel of mercy angel delight
Give me my reward in heaven tonight
And if I give up my sword wont you give me the right
Angel of mercy give me heaven tonight
song performed by by Dire Straits
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Forty Letters To A Woman – Third Letter –
You were the harpist
At the gate of heaven.
I was about crossing that gate
when we first met.
I never though,
felt, or captured your inner songs
that flew with the harp melody
until I left heaven from the other gate.
I never knew
that your were the first picture
and the last sound of heaven
until I left it.
What remains
now in
my deepest memories
an ancient question
- and that is
what I try to get rid of: -
What makes heaven
heaven?
is it a melody,
a woman's melody at the gate of heaven,
or the silent melody in a woman eyes?
poem by Atef Ayadi
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In Saint Gabriel's Wings
In saint gabriel's wings I fly over living waters
And all over the mountains all the way to the blue sky above
The people here on earth
Yes with Saint's Gabriel I will be in Heaven tomorrow
And I will enter the gate of heaven
And in God's above I will be because now I am dead
So don't look for me on the earth because I am not there
I am now resting in heaven forever
I shall cry in heaven
And my tears will run down from heaven
Also my spirit will be in heaven
My body is the only thing that will remain on the planet earth
poem by Aldo Kraas
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Heaven Help Us
Heaven help the child who never had a home,
Heaven help the girl who walks the street alone
Heaven help the roses if the bombs begin to fall,
Heaven help us all.
Heaven help the black man if he struggles one more day,
Heaven help the white man if he turns his back away,
Heaven help the man who kicks the man who has to crawl,
Heaven help us all.
Heaven help us all, heaven help us all, help us all.
Heaven help us, Lord, hear our call when we call
Oh, yeah!
Heaven help the boy who won't reach twenty-one,
Heaven help the man who gave that boy a gun.
Heaven help the people with their backs against the wall,
Lord, Heaven help us all.
Heaven help us all, heaven help us all, heaven help us all, help us all.
Heaven help us, Lord, hear our call when we call.
Now I lay me down before I go to sleep.
In a troubled world, I pray the Lord to keep, keep hatred from the mighty,
And the mighty from the small,
Heaven help us all.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah!
Heaven help us all.
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Heaven Help Us All
Heaven help the child who never had a home,
Heaven help the girl who walks the street alone
Heaven help the roses if the bombs begin to fall,
Heaven help us all.
Heaven help the black man if he struggles one more day,
Heaven help the white man if he turns his back away,
Heaven help the man who kicks the man who has to crawl,
Heaven help us all.
Heaven help us all, heaven help us all, help us all.
Heaven help us, lord, hear our call when we call
Oh, yeah!
Heaven help the boy who wont reach twenty-one,
Heaven help the man who gave that boy a gun.
Heaven help the people with their backs against the wall,
Lord, heaven help us all.
Heaven help us all, heaven help us all, heaven help us all, help us all.
Heaven help us, lord, hear our call when we call.
Now I lay me down before I go to sleep.
In a troubled world, I pray the lord to keep, keep hatred from the mighty,
And the mighty from the small,
Heaven help us all.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah!
Heaven help us all.
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Wish U Heaven
Doubts of our conviction
Follow where we go
And when the worlds compassion
Ceases still I know
4 your every touch i
Thank u so much
4 your every kiss i...
I wish u love
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
If I see 11
U can say its 7
Still I wish u heaven
I wish u love
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
La la la la la, do do do do do
La la la la la, do do do do do
La la la la la
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
I wish u heaven
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Year In Heaven
One year in heaven,
One year you've been there,
So far away,
Someday I'll see you in the air,
One year in heaven,
I miss you so much,
Smile down upon me,
And show me your love.
One year in heaven,
It seems like so long,
Since the last time I saw you,
And then you were gone,
One year in heaven,
You left earth to soon,
But I know they need you,
More then I do,
One year in heaven,
I'm alone on the earth,
I miss your sweet kisses,
And all that you're worth,
One year in heaven,
Is God really there?
Why did he take you,
As I cried in despair.
One year in heaven,
I still see your face,
The day that you took,
The last breath you would take,
One year in heaven,
Why did you die,
I know God needed you,
But still I cry.
One year in heaven,
Soon I'll be there,
So wait by the gate,
Please, this do swear,
One year in heaven,
To me it is long,
But you have no pain,
From this earth you have gone.
One year in heaven,
It's so hard to move on,
I'll send you a prayer,
And sing you a song,
One year in heaven,
Life's not the same,
Since you left this world,
I'm living in a daze.
One year in heaven,
You watch from above,
Sit there and smile,
And send me your love,
One year in heaven,
You may think it's just a day,
But this world is so different,
Since God took you away
poem by Michele Weston
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Dinah in Heaven
She did not know that she was dead,
But, when the pang was o'er,
Sat down to wait her Master's tread
Upon the Golden Floor,
With ears full-cock and anxious eye
Impatiently resigned;
But ignorant that Paradise
Did not admit her kind.
Persons with Haloes, Harps, and Wings
Assembled and reproved;
Or talked to her of Heavenly things,
But Dinah never moved.
There was one step along the Stair
That led to Heaven's Gate;
And, till she heard it, her affair
Was--she explained--to wait.
And she explained with flattened ear,
Bared lip and milky tooth--
Storming against Ithuriel's Spear
That only proved her truth!
Sudden--far down the Bridge of Ghosts
That anxious spirits clomb--
She caught that step in all the hosts,
And knew that he had come.
She left them wondering what to do,
But not a doubt had she.
Swifter than her own squeal she flew
Across the Glassy Sea;
Flushing the Cherubs every where,
And skidding as she ran,
She refuged under Peter's Chair
And waited for her man.
. . . . . . .
There spoke a Spirit out of the press,
'Said:--"Have you any here
That saved a fool from drunkenness,
And a coward from his fear?
"That turned a soul from dark to day
When other help was vain;
That snatched it from Wanhope and made
A cur a man again?"
"Enter and look," said Peter then,
And set The Gate ajar.
"If know aught of women and men
I trow she is not far."
"Neither by virtue, speech nor art
Nor hope of grace to win;
But godless innocence of heart
That never heard of sin:
"Neither by beauty nor belief
Nor white example shown.
Something a wanton--more a thief--
But--most of all--mine own."
"Enter and look," said Peter then,
"And send you well to speed;
But, for all that I know of women and men
Your riddle is hard to read."
Then flew Dinah from under the Chair,
Into his arms she flew--
And licked his face from chin to hair
And Peter passed them through!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
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The Ballad Of Peter Pumpkinhead
Peter pumpkinhead came to town
Spreading wisdom and cash around
Fed the starving and housed the poor
Showed the vatican what golds for
But he made too many enemies
Of the people who would keep us on our knees
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Wholl pray for peter pumpkinhead?
Oh my!
Peter pumpkinhead pulled them all
Emptied churches and shopping malls
Where he spoke, it would raise the roof
Peter pumpkinhead told the truth
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead put to shame
Governments who would slur his name
Plots and sex scandals failed outright
Peter merely said
Any kind of love is alright
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live tv
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!
But he made too many enemies...
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Wholl pray for peter pumpkin
Hooray for peter pumpkinhead
Oh my oh my oh!
Doesnt it make you want to cry oh?
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Heaven Only Knows
(heaven only knows...)
Oh, I know its strange
But I think that its about to change
So Ill take the chance
To get back into the straight again
Chorus:
Heaven only knows (Im really on the level)
Heaven only knows (Im trying to find a way)
Heaven only knows (Im walking down the straight & lonely road today)
(again...)
(heaven only knows...)
Now the sun will shine
And Im gonna work it out this time
And before the light
All I gotta take is one more night.
Repeat chorus
Heaven only knows, heaven only knows
Heaven only knows, heaven only knows
Heaven only knows, heaven only knows
Heaven only knows, heaven only knows
Heaven only knows.
(heaven only knows)
As the hours go by
I can only wonder why
You can change your mind
But you never change the price.
Repeat chorus
Heaven only knows, heaven only knows
Heaven only knows, heaven only knows.
Repeat chorus
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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