Washing up
'Grab a hold of that dish-cloth our Peter,
And give me a lift with these dishes;
We don't have a genie in this house
To help us, by giving three wishes.
It's manual labour our Peter,
A straightforward job in the sink;
A mountain of mucky old dishes
And then we can go for a drink.
Our Ena is ever so fussy though,
The glasses, they MUST be done first;
The cups and the plates are then easy,
The large greasy pans are the worst.'
'Put plenty of 'fairy' in Peter'
Said Fred, 'it will save you from scrubbing;
We'll soon have them spotless and shining
And then me and you can go clubbing.'
'Grab a hold of that towel our Freddie,
This mountain is now just a hill;
Just two more, then a colander Freddie,
And then I'll be on to the grill.'
Soon the hill was as flat as a pancake,
The dishes were done and all dry;
Fred and Peter were happy as sandboys,
To the boozer their feet would soon fly.
'Hey Ena! they're done, we have finished,
I told you we wouldn't get vexed; '
'Hey Peter, and Fred! no you haven't,
I told you, the ironing is next.'
(Written Jan 1996)
poem by John Carter Brown
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Related quotes
Icthus (JS#5)
Epiphany 5
Many fishes
Jesus fishes
Peter no fish
Jesus “pish pish “
Peter empty dish
Jesus full dish
Peter bare dish
Jesus extra dish
Peter one dish
Jesus many dishes
Peter fish
Jesus fishes
B.C. fish
A.D. fishes
B.C. Moses
A.D. Jesus
poem by James Hart
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The Ballad Of Peter Pumpkinhead
Peter pumpkinhead came to town
Spreading wisdom and cash around
Fed the starving and housed the poor
Showed the vatican what golds for
But he made too many enemies
Of the people who would keep us on our knees
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Wholl pray for peter pumpkinhead?
Oh my!
Peter pumpkinhead pulled them all
Emptied churches and shopping malls
Where he spoke, it would raise the roof
Peter pumpkinhead told the truth
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead put to shame
Governments who would slur his name
Plots and sex scandals failed outright
Peter merely said
Any kind of love is alright
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live tv
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!
But he made too many enemies...
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Wholl pray for peter pumpkin
Hooray for peter pumpkinhead
Oh my oh my oh!
Doesnt it make you want to cry oh?
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A young mountain climber named Peter,
On top of his form - a world beater,
At the foot of the Eiger
Came across a huge tiger
Now Peter's inside the man-eater.
(Written Oct 2012)
quote by by John Carter Brown
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Fred The Clown
Orange, blue, red, white and brown
The favorite colors of Fred the Clown
A happy and jolly clown he is
But some people he likes to tease
Everyone hates to be with Fred the Clown
But Fred never showed the people a frown
He never felt bad for what he did
The hatred inside the people had hid
The people thought of what to do with Fred the Clown
They decided to talk to the mayor of town
He laughed at what the people said
He laughed until his face gone red
The mayor didn't believe the people
For Fred the Clown gives him a tickle
They always the mayor smiled that way
Ever since Fred came each day
He already knew what Fred was doing
So he decided to call Fred for a meeting
The mayor told him what the people had said
And so left poor little Fred
The people decided to give Fred a chance
So Fred the Clown gave them a dance
The dance was so funny that they laughed all day
Fred the Clown will forever stay
poem by Geneen Meyers
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Menemsha
(carly simon/peter wood)
Peters on the loose
Id like to see him again
I remember when
We made love
On the jetty in the rain.
When the fishing boats would
Come back in
At the end of the day
Hed run up the hill to my cabin
With a swordfish and hed say:
girl I want you all over again?
All over again
Chorus:
In menemsha, menemsha
Menemsha, menemsha
The sunset on the sound
Were almost too much to take
We would dance on the hill
With our friends
til the morning would break
Everybody drank too much beer
In those days
Thank God it wasnt whisky
Or wed all be dead
And peter and me wed pull the shades
Everyone was interested
In peter and me
Chorus
song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fred the Clown
Orange, blue, red, white and brown
The favorite colors of Fred the Clown
A happy and jolly clown he is
But some people he likes to tease
Everyone hates to be with Fred the Clown
But Fred never showed the people a frown
He never felt bad for what he did
The hatred inside the people had hid
The people thought of what to do with Fred the Clown
They decided to talk to the mayor of town
He laughed at what the people said
He laughed until his face gone red
The mayor didn't believe the people
For Fred the Clown gives him a tickle
They always saw the mayor smiled that way
Ever since Fred came each day
He already knew what Fred was doing
So he decided to call Fred for a meeting
The mayor told him what the people had said
And so left poor little Fred
The people decided to give Fred a chance
So Fred the Clown gave them a dance
The dance was so funny that they laughed all day
Fred the Clown will forever stay
poem by Geneen Alyssa Meyers
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St. Peter At The Golden Gate
St. Peter at the Golden Gate
Explained, for me it’s much too late
That Heaven’s gate, without a doubt
Was built right there to keep me out
It’s common knowledge, I’m no Saint
But a real bad guy, I surely ain’t
Heaven knows, I’ve done some wrong
But it doesn’t mean I don’t belong
I know I’m not the most devout
But pray, St. Peter, don’t fence me out
I promise I won’t cause chagrin
To those in Heaven, all fenced in
I’ll run a casino for all to enjoy
I’ll run it as pure as an altar boy
And dear St. Peter, I give you this pledge
At Heaven’s casino, I’ll give you an edge
So you see, St. Peter, Heaven can’t wait
What’s needed in Heaven, is me, your soul mate
Do what you can to unlock the key
So together we’ll be, St. Peter and me…
poem by Stanley Cooper
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I heard my name associated with the Peter Pan syndrome more than once. But really, what's so wrong with Peter Pan? Peter Pan flies. He is a metaphor for dreams and faith.
quote by Mark Burnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas At The Pearly Gates
Three men die on Christmas day
And then arrive at the pearly gates
St Peter starts to turn them away
Since his records say they’re reprobates
But since it was Christmas …well
He might let them in
If they had any symbol
of Christmas with them
The first had an ornament in his pocket
St Peter ushered him in
The second had pine needles on his shirt
St Peter bade him within
The third gentleman with a look of chagrin
Pulled out a pair of panties of green and red
“How do these represent Christmas? ”
Astounded, St Peter said
“Well Pete, I know you are familiar
With beautiful, Christmas carols
And these skimpies might seem to you
Simply as risqué apparel.”
“Well…These are Carol’s, ”
the man said with a grin
Saint Peter rolled his eyes…
And then let him in
poem by David Whalen
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The Long Doze
The Long Doze
God woke up
he had slept since world war one.
He was in good mood
On his desk two stacks of papers
one for the righteous people
one for atheists
He called St. Peter and said:
“Let them all in.”
“Are you sure Peter muttered?
“Peter, just do as I say.”
“I like to see
how happy the good will be”
God giggled
“But, most of all the astonishment
In the faces of non believers. “
poem by Oskar Hansen
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How we backed the Favourite
'Sure thing,' said the grocer; 'as far as I know, sir,
This horse, Peter Pan, is the safest of certs.'
'I see by the paper,' commanded the draper,
'He's tipped and he carries my whole weight of shirts.'
The butcher said, 'Well, now, it's easy to tell now
There's nothing else in it except Peter Pan.'
And so the baker, the barman, bookmaker,
The old lady char and the saveloy man.
'You stick to my tip, man,' admonished the grip-man,
'Play up Peter Pan; he's a stayer with speed.'
And the newspaper vendor, the ancient road mender,
And even the cop at the corner agreed.
The barber said, 'Win it? There's nothing else in it.
I backed Peter Pan with the last that I had.'
'Too right,' said the liftman. 'The horse is a gift, man.'
The old jobbing gardener said, 'Peter Pan, lad!'
I know nought of racing. The task I was facing,
It filled me with pain and unreasoning dread.
They all seemed so certain. And yet a dark curtain
Of doubt dulled my mind… But I must keep my head!
I went to the races, and I watched all their faces.
I saw Peter Pan's; there was little he lacked.
And as he seemed willing, I planked on my shilling
And triumphed! And that's how the favorite was backed.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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The Relativity
To leave John and move towards Peter,
I must hate John or love Peter more.
John must ignore, or Peter must lure.
Relations thrive in relativity.
(17.05.2011)
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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The Perils of Invisibility
Old PETER led a wretched life -
Old PETER had a furious wife;
Old PETER too was truly stout,
He measured several yards about.
The little fairy PICKLEKIN
One summer afternoon looked in,
And said, "Old PETER, how de do?
Can I do anything for you?
"I have three gifts - the first will give
Unbounded riches while you live;
The second health where'er you be;
The third, invisibility."
"O little fairy PICKLEKIN,"
Old PETER answered with a grin,
"To hesitate would be absurd, -
Undoubtedly I choose the third."
"'Tis yours," the fairy said; "be quite
Invisible to mortal sight
Whene'er you please. Remember me
Most kindly, pray, to MRS. P."
Old MRS. PETER overheard
Wee PICKLEKIN'S concluding word,
And, jealous of her girlhood's choice,
Said, "That was some young woman's voice:
Old PETER let her scold and swear -
Old PETER, bless him, didn't care.
"My dear, your rage is wasted quite -
Observe, I disappear from sight!"
A well-bred fairy (so I've heard)
Is always faithful to her word:
Old PETER vanished like a shot,
Put then - HIS SUIT OF CLOTHES DID NOT!
For when conferred the fairy slim
Invisibility on HIM,
She popped away on fairy wings,
Without referring to his "things."
So there remained a coat of blue,
A vest and double eyeglass too,
His tail, his shoes, his socks as well,
His pair of - no, I must not tell.
Old MRS. PETER soon began
To see the failure of his plan,
And then resolved (I quote the Bard)
To "hoist him with his own petard."
Old PETER woke next day and dressed,
Put on his coat, and shoes, and vest,
His shirt and stock; BUT COULD NOT FIND
HIS ONLY PAIR OF - never mind!
Old PETER was a decent man,
And though he twigged his lady's plan,
Yet, hearing her approaching, he
Resumed invisibility.
"Dear MRS. P., my only joy,"
Exclaimed the horrified old boy,
"Now, give them up, I beg of you -
You know what I'm referring to!"
But no; the cross old lady swore
She'd keep his - what I said before -
To make him publicly absurd;
And MRS. PETER kept her word.
The poor old fellow had no rest;
His coat, his stick, his shoes, his vest,
Were all that now met mortal eye -
The rest, invisibility!
"Now, madam, give them up, I beg -
I've had rheumatics in my leg;
Besides, until you do, it's plain
I cannot come to sight again!
"For though some mirth it might afford
To see my clothes without their lord,
Yet there would rise indignant oaths
If he were seen without his clothes!"
But no; resolved to have her quiz,
The lady held her own - and his -
And PETER left his humble cot
To find a pair of - you know what.
But - here's the worst of the affair -
Whene'er he came across a pair
Already placed for him to don,
He was too stout to get them on!
So he resolved at once to train,
And walked and walked with all his main;
For years he paced this mortal earth,
To bring himself to decent girth.
At night, when all around is still,
You'll find him pounding up a hill;
And shrieking peasants whom he meets,
Fall down in terror on the peats!
Old PETER walks through wind and rain,
Resolved to train, and train, and train,
Until he weighs twelve stone' or so -
And when he does, I'll let you know.
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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A Man of Worth
Dear Uncle Fred's the type of man
Who to his neighbours gives a hand.
A man who would not deal in lies,
Who never could a soul despise.
An honest man and one so kind
That he should be the first in line
To proudly pass through portal's great,
When trumpets blow at Peter's Gate.
When God decides that Fred should die,
Then, in the parlour where he lies,
His friends will flock to bid farewell
To one who lived his life so well.
But when it's time for me to go,
And in a wooden box I'm stowed,
The visitors will be but few
Who come to say a fond adieu.
And herein doth the moral lie,
Comparing Uncle Fred and I,
A man who I have much admired
And wished his traits I had acquired.
To judge a person's worth in life,
And if for others he caused strife,
Just count the friends that bid farewell,
And by that method you can tell.
Mr. Peter & my sister
Mr. Peter & my sister
This poem goes out to Mr. Peter
Who is a friend of my sister
And blow out my cover
In order to hide
I wrote my name backward
Until…the same day
My sister who is smart like Holmes
And Mr. Peter who is a genius
Discovered my disguise
And ruined my surprise.
July 9,2005
poem by Konjit Berhane
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The Bush Veteran
Old Pete Parraday, he toddles up the road,
'Dangin'' things and 'darn in'' things and hefting of his load
For yesterday was pension day, Peter has his goods:
Butcher's meat and groceries and all sorts of foods;
A bit of plug 'tobaker' and a tin of 'jelly Jam,'
'Termatter' sauce and yellow soap, a knuckle-end of ham,
And a little flask of 'special stuff' discreetly tucked away.
'I takes it for me rheumatiz,' says Peter Parraday.
Old Pete Parraday, he lives all on his own.
People say he's getting old and shouldn't be alone.
They talk of institutions where he'd have most kindly care.
'Wot? Me?' says Peter Parraday. 'An' wot would I do there?
Lose me independence, an' be 'umble when they scold,
Eat an' sleep an' dress an' smoke just when an' how I'm told?
Shove ME in an Old Man's 'Ome to rust me life away?
I'd like to see 'em try it on!' says Peter Parraday.
Old Pete Parraday has little time to spare
For a bush hut and a garden are a common source of care.
There's wood to cut and meals to cook - a thousand things to plan
In the little kitchen-garden that 'do fair absorb a man.'
Green peas and radishes, brussels sprouts and beans,
Silver beet and lettuces - all sorts of green.
'Waterin' an' weedin' 'em, the hours they melts away,
An' days ain't halfways long enough,' says Peter Parraday.
Old Peter Parraday, he sits beside his door
To smoke a pipe at day's-end when fussy toil is o'er.
'This world it changes fast like,' says he, 'as time drifts by;
For old days was easy days when I was young an' spry;
An' cash was easy come by, with fortunes flowin' free,
An' many a man growed wealthy wot toed the mark with me.
But me? I seemed to miss the bus. Fair lost me chance, ses they,
Yet that don't seem to grieve me some,' grins Peter Parraday.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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The Man Who Was Away
The widow sought the lawyer's room with children three in tow,
She told the lawyer man her tale in tones of deepest woe.
She said, "My husband took to drink for pains in his inside,
And never drew a sober breath from then until he died.
"He never drew a sober breath, he died without a will,
And I must sell the bit of land the childer's mouth to fill.
There's some is grown and gone away, but some is childer yet,
And times is very bad indeed -- a livin's hard to get.
"There's Min and Sis and little Chris, they stops at home with me,
And Sal has married Greenhide Bill that breaks for Bidgeree.
And Fred is drovin' Conroy's sheep along the Castlereagh
And Charley's shearin' down the Bland, and Peter is away."
The lawyer wrote the details down in ink of legal blue --
"There's Minnie, Susan, Christopher, they stop at home with you;
There's Sarah, Frederick and Charles, I'll write to them today,
But what about the other son -- the one who is away?
"You'll have to furnish his consent to sell the bit of land."
The widow shuffled in her seat, "Oh, don't you understand?
I thought a lawyer ought to know -- I don't know what to say --
You'll have to do without him, boss, for Peter is away."
But here the little boy spoke up -- said he, "We thought you knew;
He's done six months in Goulburn gaol -- he's got six more to do."
Thus in one comprehensive flash he made it clear as day,
The mystery of Peter's life -- the man who was away.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Death Of Peter Pan
The Death of Peter Pan
Peter Pan used to be black, he could sing and dance
and make jazz hands. He was so good that it made
sense to make him white, the world embraced him.
Everyone had a stake in him as he was transformed
into a pale ghost with a plastic nose, no one laughed
too much money at stake. Peter Pan liked children
too much for normal society to tolerate, but money
smoothed the way, but do not do it again.
Peter Pan was fragile doctors were always at hand to
give him injections that lifted his spirit and made him
feel good, and he needed more of it now that he was
middle aged, yet trying to look fourteen. His handlers
thought there was more money to wring out of his
tortured body. One, two, three, Peter couldn’t breath
collapsed in heap, and that’s a pity now that USA has
a black president and he could be himself again.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me.
quote by Paul Reiser
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drip Fed Fred
We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass
Gentlemen and assassins and ladies of the night
I call upon you this evening in the hope of shedding some light
I can't go into detail or finger unfounded fools
But there are some here amongst us that are not playing to the rules
I've rounded up the low-life and local CID
Offered a free massage or else the third degree
There is no simple solution in this life we lead
So make things easy for yourself to the baronage concede
We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass
Peace shall not prevail in Purley came the stark warning today
From his hospital bed Drip-Fed Fred vowed he was here to stay
"I'll tell you something for nothing", he claimed, "Never in all my days
Have I felt so intimidated by the cheap tactics on display"
Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-ah
We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass
And approaching the pulpit, the Right Honourable Reverend Greene
"We're gathered here this evening to pay our due respects
To Drip-Fed Fred who late last night fell out of his prison bed
We know the nonce behind it, who slipped the night PD - ooh
The word is out now without doubt you will answer to me"
Gentlemen and assassins and ladies of the night
I call upon you this evening in the hope of shedding new light
There is a simple solution, one called honour amongst thieves
So we'll take pity on your souls and only cap your knees
Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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