Hollow Soul

Nothing you have done,
Or can say will convince me...
You have 'always' been concerned,
About my wellbeing.
And you are here to express sincerity.

There have been too many times,
I have witnessed you...
Using a perception of my weakness,
To benefit jokes you've told!
And at my expense.
With an added pinch of your embellishment.

Has an increase in my influence,
Lowered you a step or two...
From the back of your high horse?
Or are you trying to patronize me,
With superficiality?
And you believe I will not recognize,
The shallow person you are and I see.

You have never hidden that,
From me or anyone else.
And that's not bitterness that speaks.
Those are unfaced facts!
You have always been a hollow soul.
Seeking to socialize your need to demean.

Nothing you have done,
Or can say will convince me...
You have 'always' been concerned,
About my wellbeing.
And you are here to express sincerity.

I would believe that,
If that had been shown...
As an ongoing process of your history!
But that part of your heart,
I have not seen exposed.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Love Me (Villanelle)

Love me with sincerity,
with the true feelings in your heart
in times of loss and of prosperity

while our influence linger into posterity
and may our lives never part.
Love me with t sincerity,

as if our words and deeds are more than surety
in truthfulness that is something of an art
in times of loss and of prosperity

and when we are old without any dexterity
may our feelings then last and never depart.
Love me with sincerity

that brings feelings to a kind of clarity,
that daily anew does start
in times of loss and of prosperity.

and may we constantly act in solidarity
as if nothing our affections can thwart.
Love me with sincerity,
in times of loss and of prosperity.

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Coltrane

Wakin' up at nine
Looks at his paper
Can't deal with what he sees
All the troubled lives
The talk of the ages
He's crawling back to bed
Don't take a walk outside
Don't make any new friends
He's crawling back to bed
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know what I'm doing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know who I'm screwing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know what I'm doing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know who I'm screwing
Callin' all his friends
He's known 'em for ages
Can't deal with what they say
Connective alibis
Cold and contagious
He's crawling back to bed
So cut off the phone lines
Stock up on water
He's crawling back to bed
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know what I'm doing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know who I'm screwing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know what I'm doing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know who I'm screwing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know what I'm doing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know who I'm screwing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know what I'm doing
You'd better convince me man
'Cause I, I don't know who I'm screwing
You'd better convince me man
Yessir
You'd better convince me man
Yessir
You'd better convince me man
Yessir
You'd better convince me man
Yessir

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I Wish My Heart To You Was Known

I wish my heart to you was known.
With emotions deep.
I do keep within reach.

I can be distant at times.
But my mind is aware.
Who approaches with sincerity.
And a return of it,
I can and will share.

Without defense or fences seen.
To pop up suddenly...
From nowhere.
To be rude, indignant or mean.

I'm here to care.
But not just for anyone.
Nor do I seek perfection.
Not with the flaws,
I've yet to overcome.

It is not often that I meet someone...
Who can accept with forgiveness,
The unconsciousness of others.
And allow them time...
To correct what they have done.

I try not to sit with bitterness inside.
Knowing my pride could be hard to handle.
Since I overly protect a sensitive side.

A peace of mind I have.
And it was not easily obtained.
It took years in development.
To keep as is.
Proudly maintained.

Many times I have sat alone.
Amazed in the ways that I have grown.
And wishing someone knew,
My life the way I do!

Perhaps that's why I wish...
My heart to you was known.
I recognize your thoughtfulness!
And that...
Not too many can express.
In the way to me you have shown!

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Yes...Your Situation Is Quite Different

'I am in pain.
And you act as 'if',
You aren't concerned about my wellbeing...
Or my dilemma,
Not one bit.

My agonies have increased.
And not a hint of empathy...
Have you expressed,
Knowing I am...
As you see,
In distress.'

I agree.
Your evaluation of me,
I can not deny.
Nor will I try.

But even though I am attempted...
To do an 'eye-for-an-eye',
OR a turning of the other cheek business.
I can not do that.
Even as your words to me heard...
To stop complaining,
And stand on my own two feet.
As I reached to get your assistance...
In my own hour of need,
You then described as weakness.

Those very words spoken to me,
Years ago...
Came from your lips.

And you didn't stop there,
You solicited others to defame and laugh at me.
I remember that clearly.
Maybe that act you performed,
Has attached to my lack of expressing an empathy...
You believed is deserved from me.

'Hey!
We all make mistakes
And maybe mine made were at your expense.
Being able to forgive replenishes.
And clearly my situation is quite different.
I've lost everything.'

I see.
And even your common sense.
Yes...
Your situation is quite different.
I'm not feeling your self pity.
And that weakness shown to you...
Is nothing like your conditional spinelessness.

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A Preference They Have Chosen

The absence of focus,
Of that which approaches others...
Leads them to paying consequences,
An undivided attention could avoid.

Many hurry themselves to conclusions,
To then exclaim...
No one is concerned or shows they do,
Regarding their wellbeing.

Yet the act of that shown to them,
Goes unnoticed...
When their minds are somewhere else.
And that is a preference they have chosen.

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Shrine

There are men and women so noble of mind
So beautiful of heart, so pure is spiritual essence
They deserve praise and adulation but they don’t seek it
Nor do they advise it

Your true friends in this existence
Only want your happiness and wellbeing
Your ability to find and express love

The real teachers of the soul
Want you to discover your own potential goodness
Rather than making a shrine to theirs

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Trans-Europe Express

Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Rendezvous on Champs-Elysees
Leave Paris in the morning on T.E.E.
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
In Vienna we sit in a late-night cafe
Straight connection, T.E.E.
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
From station to station
back to Dusseldorf City
Meet Iggy Pop and David Bowie
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express
Trans-Europe Express

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Something Finally Believed

Why are those now so concerned,
About a budget?
When then they expressed no limits seen.
While feeding their greed that became obscene?

Why are they concerned,
About jobs they consciously outsourced...
To leave those here incapable of earning.

And they wish to convince,
Everything done they do makes sense?
To who?
Their tailors paid to keep them in expensive suits?

Well...
Maybe if they defined themselves as 'mindless',
It would be something done admitted.
And something finally believed,
Many would agree has validity and substance.

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No Friend Of Mine

There would be no friend of mine,
Pretending to be one all the time...
That would talk about me behind my back.

Or use me to convince others at my expense,
By a defending of their own insecurities.
I've gone through that to recognize when it is done.

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Worthy Of The Suffering

So much do they want to express love.
And so much is that expression shown,
As an interpretation of a sign of weakness.

So much do they wish to express respect.
And that respect is not returned as expected.

So much talk is there of peace.
And how conflicts will increase those chances.

But if someone should step on my toes...
And I'm sure I am like many others,
Who are not deluded by deceit.
And that person proceeds,
To slap me where I stand...
I will not quote Biblical scriptures.
Nor not a cheek will I turn.
And my extended hand,
Done to welcome.
Then becomes a balled fist!

I'm sure I am not the only one,
Who feels like this!

I will then seek a weapon...
With an intention to use it,
Against anyone who believes what is mine...
Is theirs for the taking!

My reality is not a myth scripted in Hollywood.
I will deliver an equality of pain!
And/or solicit assistance!

Call me an enemy if that is what you wish!
However,
If you are familiar with nightmares...
I will try to apply one that comes custom made!

Those living in peace,
Choose to do so.
And they will defend it!
No matter what the perpetrators...
Coming to destroy what they value,
Call their nonsense to inflict upon them.

I'm sure they are not the only ones,
Feeling like this!
Although there are some...
With a disturbing ignorance,
To rule over others!
Proving this can be done!

And in these cases,
Some may need...
A quickly delivered mental upgrading!

Not a weapon used to date...
With advance uses of technology,
Has produced a smidgen of peace!
Unless they were prematurely deceased.
Believing these barbaric acts...
Are worthy of the suffering done,
To receive a forgettable honorable mention.
Hopefully with names pronounced correctly,
Of those donating their lives as sacrifices...
To uphold the rights of others who could care less.

So much do they want to express love.
And so much is that expression shown,
As an interpretation of a sign of weakness.

So much do they wish to express respect.
And that respect is not returned as expected.

So much talk is there of peace.
And how conflicts will increase those chances.
However...
Better odds,
Could be obtain from any gambling casino!
And with a higher return for the wastefulness,
Of the investment.
And with loans provided...
For anyone foolish enough to believe,
They can actually correct their stupidity!

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When They Initiate A Tension

I had to sever my emotions,
From those I had considered 'friends'.
You know...
The ones that want to dump their stress,
On another friend's shoulders.
While a dumping done to them...
They feel a right to publicly address.

And those 'so-called' friends...
Who express to others,
Your friendship to them has been their best...
Are relunctant to express truth as it is,
When they initiate a tension not to mention...
They believe others should accept not reject.

Well...
After going through undue duress,
A decision was made to guard my peace.
And my rest.
With no regrets at all.
Acknowledging I am grateful and blessed to not be stressed.

My purpose is not to be leeched for attention.
Unless that leeching is of mutual consent.
And a sincerity that is deeply given,
Is a sincerity felt and deeply meant!
I have had the experience of being conscious,
For much too long to know when something's wrong.

'You know I could never be like that! '

Now say that again.
But this time give me eye contact.

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Those Times Never Forgotten

Sometimes the best remedy,
That comes to assist one to heal quickly...
Is not the familiar 'cry-on-the-shoulder-kind'!
With a soothing of tears and a warm embrace.

Sometimes some cures are better done,
When that person is left alone.
To figure out how to deal,
With agony, pain and stress on their own.

And hopefully a going through the process...
Will increase an appreciation!
And perhaps the acknowledgement,
Of this is shown.

Sometimes this works!
And at other times...
Be on the alert!

Especially when those 'sometimes'
Most of the time...
Are those times never forgotten,
By the ones turned away the first time.

You know...
There are those times that come,
When 'some' people have none to spare!
To express an empathy or caring.

And we all will have those times,
When a comforting should have been extended.
And a selfishness not to listen...or pretend,
Reveals more than what had been intended.

And...
Even though a healing process does occur?
The hearing of it,
Never seems to end.
With reminders left to dig deep under the skin.

'WHY?
Why are you still harboring on that?
How long do you want me to apologize?
For the rest of my life? '

~I hadn't thought of that as an option.
Let me give that some thought!
Thank you for the suggestion.
I appreciate that.~

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To Be Cherished

I'm not needing to be told,
I should have someone in my life...
Who will appreciate me for who I am.
I'm not needing to be told that at all.

I'm just not ready to share my time,
Trying to convince someone...
I am a treasure,
To be cherished for the rest of their life.

And I have not found a single person,
Prepared to believe it!
I even had someone in my life,
Trying to feed me deceit to nourish my needs.

'Don't you think your perception of yourself,
Is a bit conceited? '

Not at all.
If I am going to share my life with anyone...
And accept their imperfections?
They best be prepared for my own to be exposed.

And then again,
I have old fashion values.
There is something about being treated with respect,
That turns me on.

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Too Busy In the Process

People have their beliefs.
And that is to be respected.
However...
I have always admired the ones,
Who are able to get good deeds done.
And generally they do not express their beliefs...
With speeches to convince.
Since they are too busy in the process,
Of making progress seen that is concrete.

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Knowing This Admission

I alone had to face my dysfunctions.
And to see them for what they were.
I was not going to live all of my life...
Pretending my experiences,
Did not rip my heart apart or hurt.

I began to express my emotions,
With a knowing of this admission...
Came from an inner strength,
And not a submission to weakness.
I would condense to convince,
Myself.

I could not hold my head up high,
If I kept my sorrows gone denied.

I alone had to face my dysfunctions.
And to see them for what they were.
I was not going to live all of my life...
Pretending my experiences,
Did not rip my heart apart or hurt.

I have healed from several illnesses,
None of which I needed to embrace.
I forced myself to analyze by looking inside...
To replace a charade,
That grew tired of masquerade.

I alone had to face my dysfunctions...
With a forgiveness I wanted to admit.
I did not want to live my life,
Condoning unhappiness.

I could not hold my head up high,
If I kept my sorrows gone denied.

And this,
After getting over it...
Has allowed me to increase,
My identity with a peace released!
And not an approval have I sought to seek,
From anyone who has yet to do what I have done!

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People Have Done This To Themselves

I miss sincerity.
And my friends and family members,
That shared theirs with me...
Who have moved on to other 'realms'.

I miss sincerity.
Too many today are so dishonest.
When someone opens their mouth,
My first reaction is to disbelieve.

People have done this to themselves.

Not to treasure one's integrity,
Is a sign an identity is lost.
And nothing is valued but delusion.

People have done this to themselves.

To express disrespect and receive it,
As if expected...
Is a quality of life lived not uplifted but diminished.

I miss sincerity.
And my friends and family members,
That shared theirs with me...
Who have moved on to other 'realms' of 'this' experience.

I miss sincerity.
Too many today are so dishonest.
When someone opens their mouth,
My first reaction is to disbelieve,
Not one word but every word said.

People have done this to themselves.

To express disrespect and receive it,
As if expected...
Is a quality of life lived not uplifted but diminished.

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Elected To Fix An Economic Crisis

What minds are behind,
The spending of billions of dollars...
For two people to hollar promises,
GUARANTEED to 'all'...
If elected to fix an economic crisis.

What nonsense advertised,
Is going to change the quality of lives...
Overnight?
Or increase a depleted reality that exists?
When what has been wasted,
Could eliminate the deficit with a quicker pace.

What idealistic dreams are kept,
That will deliver a feasting of greed...
For those already suffering from hunger,
AND homelessness?
With other needs dismissed that go unheeded.

And what deluded fantasies are left,
That have not yet been swept...
Away to fill the bulging pockets everyday,
Of those thieves teasing...
With their smiles and high profile deceptions.

Which elitist who represents...
Those supporting to have their special interests,
Protected regardless of who is elected...
Is going to have influence enough to convince,
Life as we know it needs an injection of sincerity meant...
Before a peace that could be easily reached dies upon the streets.

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Lowered Expectations

Seeking to be challenged amongst those satisfied,
To have reached the heights of mediocrity...
And lowered expectations,
Is not a healthy mental environment to express...
A willingness to bet on who has a higher I.Q.

The only ones who would feel threatened,
Would be those who could not rap...
With their clothes hanging almost off their backs.
To leave a nakedness exposed in everyone's sight,
And not to be imagined.

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Not Having A Shred Of Evidence

You can say what you wish.
In detailed depictions to describe it.
However...
If you had not felt a pinch of it to feel,
Your lack of experience...
Does not make you an authority,
Of how another should react...
To what to them has been directly done.

Although...
Some will commit,
To knowing what the facts are.
And not having a single clue,
To admit when questioned...
Of not having a shred of evidence.
But yet as proof to convince,
Will rely on that which to them had been told.

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Trans Europa Express

Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Rendez-vous auf den Champs Elysees
Verlass Paris am Morgen mit dem TEE
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
In Wien sitzen wir im Nachtcafe
Direkt Verbindung TEE
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Trans Europa Express
Wir laufen 'rein in Duesseldorf City
Und treffen Iggy Pop und David Bowie

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