I Wish My Heart To You Was Known
I wish my heart to you was known.
With emotions deep.
I do keep within reach.
I can be distant at times.
But my mind is aware.
Who approaches with sincerity.
And a return of it,
I can and will share.
Without defense or fences seen.
To pop up suddenly...
From nowhere.
To be rude, indignant or mean.
I'm here to care.
But not just for anyone.
Nor do I seek perfection.
Not with the flaws,
I've yet to overcome.
It is not often that I meet someone...
Who can accept with forgiveness,
The unconsciousness of others.
And allow them time...
To correct what they have done.
I try not to sit with bitterness inside.
Knowing my pride could be hard to handle.
Since I overly protect a sensitive side.
A peace of mind I have.
And it was not easily obtained.
It took years in development.
To keep as is.
Proudly maintained.
Many times I have sat alone.
Amazed in the ways that I have grown.
And wishing someone knew,
My life the way I do!
Perhaps that's why I wish...
My heart to you was known.
I recognize your thoughtfulness!
And that...
Not too many can express.
In the way to me you have shown!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Hard Times
Have you ever felt
That your life is a wasting
Happiness beyond your reach
Sweet love has gone astray
Suddenly its bitter
Hard times
Hard times
When youre all alone
Nothing seems to matter
Sadness always fills the air
Hurts so deep inside
You just have to cry out
Wow.....hard times
Wow.....hard times
Wow.....hard times
Wow.....hard times
Give yourself a chance
You have something special
That nobody else can claim
Deep inside your heart
Shines a revelation
Wow.....shine on
Wow.....shine on
Wow.....hard times
Wow.....hard times
song performed by by Santana

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When That Moment Comes
My ears,
At times...
Hear far too much.
My eyes uncover,
Wants...
I long to touch.
My lips stay shut,
And closed.
With emotions frozen within me.
Denying my own needs,
I wish I couldn't do.
But yet I do that too well.
My hands,
Reach to be held.
When I'm alone and seeking.
There is a secret place,
Inside that has this fear.
Who will protect it.
And not reject it.
If I choose to give my heart.
Who will protect it.
And not reject it.
When that moment comes,
To share my heart.
Who will protect?
Accept without neglecting.
And who is there,
To share...
My heart.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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I Know I've Grown
I know I've grown.
Had I not...
Mother Nature would not stop me,
Suddenly with her beauty.
And I now am aware,
Of what has been always there.
I know I've grown.
I'm fascinated by a walk in the rain.
If clouds are there,
I do not complain.
And when I get wet,
I get a sense of happiness.
Without feeling 'strange' at all!
I know I've grown.
When I think of obstacles as adjustments.
And it seems as if it was just yesterday,
I struggled against this!
Finding it unbearable to face another challenge.
Today...
I know I've grown.
Since I think of those who passed their judgements,
As gifts received.
And I am able to forgive and let live?
Believing what had been done has its meaning.
Something from that has been retrieved.
And I am relieved by it.
Oh, I know I have grown.
Especially if I can come to smile,
In the face of a known tormentor.
And observing a suspicion,
From them I get!
I am equally as amazed.
And yet...
Not forgetting what was done.
But knowing I have overcomed my anger.
To allow a peace of mind I have found!
And trust me...
The power of that can stun.
And that did not arrive...
As I sat trying to justify my bitterness.
That crap had to go!
And when that was decided,
I knew inside myself...
I had grown to appreciate,
My life with more of an awareness...
Of what Mother Nature shows.
And this has been a blessing.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Heart Knows No Reason
In times of frustrations
The mind leads
What the mind teaches
The heart feels.
In times of depression
The mind finds the means
What the mind gives
The heart receives
In times of prosperity
The mind rules
What the mind dictates
The heart follows
In times of loving
The mind asks
What the mind questions
The heart answers
When the mind resists
The heart insists
It is the time
When the mind looses
And the heart wins
Adopted from Richard Viray
May 1996
poem by Sweet Seven

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Hollow Soul
Nothing you have done,
Or can say will convince me...
You have 'always' been concerned,
About my wellbeing.
And you are here to express sincerity.
There have been too many times,
I have witnessed you...
Using a perception of my weakness,
To benefit jokes you've told!
And at my expense.
With an added pinch of your embellishment.
Has an increase in my influence,
Lowered you a step or two...
From the back of your high horse?
Or are you trying to patronize me,
With superficiality?
And you believe I will not recognize,
The shallow person you are and I see.
You have never hidden that,
From me or anyone else.
And that's not bitterness that speaks.
Those are unfaced facts!
You have always been a hollow soul.
Seeking to socialize your need to demean.
Nothing you have done,
Or can say will convince me...
You have 'always' been concerned,
About my wellbeing.
And you are here to express sincerity.
I would believe that,
If that had been shown...
As an ongoing process of your history!
But that part of your heart,
I have not seen exposed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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An Echoing Sadness
Sad is the word to best describe, this feeling I have echoing inside,
Even though Christ lives there, and I know that He really does care.
It is something that on the outside, that today I simply can not hide.
There is an absence of joy within, when I take my mind off of Him.
It is then that the peace in my heart, from within begins to depart.
It’s the same peace, that one day, will in my heart eternally stay.
But in this world filled with grief, I can lose my focus and peace.
But with The Lord deep inside, His presence will not always hide.
So when my world becomes bleak, it’s Christ’s face I must seek,
And in time Christ will restore, that awesome peace of The Lord.
Circumstances can play a part, in the role of peace in my heart.
But friend, this just will not be, if I focus on Christ and Eternity.
For this is not my ultimate home, this darkened earth that I roam,
I need to be fixed on Christ above, for His presence and His love.
My friend, I don’t know why it is, that my heart does get like this.
But I know that in times like this, Christ is my God and I am His.
Whatever mind I may be in, He’s the same as He’s always been.
And if I have a troubled heart, Christ as my friend, will not depart.
Christ will stay right by my side, and it is in Him that I will abide,
As God, Christ is not denied, and He will restore my peace inside.
(Copyright ©02/2005)
Heart Of Gold
Growing up isnt easy to do,
Especially for one who always knew,
You would always come up second best.
Is that why you have such bitterness?
The apple of your fathers eye,
And always by your brothers side.
Then a little sister came along,
And you found all the affection suddenly gone.
But underneath that cold exterior
I know youve got a heart of gold.
So aloof, so superior,
But youve got a heart of gold.
Watch out, dont get caught in the crossfire.
Watch out, shes still growing up, shes in a rage,
I guess shes reached that difficult age.
Growing up is very hard to do,
Everyone watching your every move.
Your private life always on view,
But jealously never really suited you.
But I know that
Underneath that rude exterior,
Theres got to be a heart of gold.
Underneath that hard exterior,
Is a little girl waiting to be told,
Youve got a heart of gold.
Shes got a heart of gold.
I couldnt understand your attitude.
I only wanted to take a photograph of you,
But I was shocked when I heard what you had to say.
You picked up my camera, threw it away,
I didnt really mean to ruin your day.
Now I see youve got a little girl of your own.
Little princess certainly grown,
And theres a man, hes smiling at you.
He must have been the one who always knew.
You had a heart of gold.
Underneath that rude exterior,
Youve got a heart of gold.
So aloof, so superior,
But youve got a heart of gold.
Underneath that rude exterior,
Youve got a heart of gold.
Underneath that hard exterior,
Youve got a heart of gold.
Watch her, shell give you a broadside,
But I know that inside,
She got a heart of gold.
song performed by by Kinks

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where Are You In My Life?
I wish i could see you one last time
Just so i can put away my fears,
so i can have you in my mind
even after you leave my side.
I lost you a while back
and i know ill never get you back again.
You may not be with me but,
I feel your presents with me
deep within my heart,
but its not enough
I'm missing you in my life,
I need you by my side,
To guide and protect me
It hurts to know your not here with me.
Every time i go to hold your hand,
I realize your not there.
Your somewhere i cant reach,
somewhere i cant see,
it breaks my heart,
knowing we're apart,
an i cant find you.
If i could change time
To bring us back
I'll do it just to see you
because of how much i love you,
and how much i miss you.
Until then i have to be alone,
without you by my side
with the question still unanswered
Where are you in my life?
poem by Kerrie Maurer

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Too Blind To Recognize
Too blind to recognize.
No one really knew,
Who they saw on a regular basis.
And this was not encouraged,
To be expected to accept.
Yet discussing other people,
Was what they did best.
Too blind to recognize.
Too blind to recognize.
Disrespecting was all they knew.
And this they did with a full effect.
No one knew who did what.
Or who had experiences to share,
That would provide benefits all would get.
So no one saw to see to receive opportunities,
They would meet but too blind to recognize.
Too blind to recognize,
Gifts given as a prize!
Gifts given they should pride.
Too blind to recognize,
Gifts given as a prize!
Gifts given they should pride.
Just too blind to recognize.
Just too blind to recognize.
Just too blind to recognize...
Gifts given as a prize!
Gifts given they should pride.
Too blind to recognize.
Just too blind to recognize.
Too blind to recognize.
Just too blind to recognize...
Gifts given as a prize!
Gifts given they should pride.
Too blind to recognize.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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If She Only Knew
Words and music by michelle branch
I dont know whose side Im takin,
But Im not takin things to well,
I can see inside youre achen,
But is it still too early for me to tell.
I try to help you out through the hardest of times,
Your heart is in your throat,
And Im speaking my mind,
Though it looks as if its over,
Im still not over you,
If only she knew.
I try to let it go
But I dont know if I can take it,
Cause the way you looked at me made me see
That I cant really fake it.
I try to help you out through the hardest of times,
Your heart is in your throat,
And Im speaking my mind,
Though it looks as if its over,
Im still not over you,
If only she knew.
I know she loves you and I cant interfere,
So Ill just have to sit back and watch my world disappear.
I try to help you out through the hardest of times,
Your heart is in your throat,
And Im speaking my mind,
Though it looks as if its over,
Im still not over you,
Oh Im still not over you,
If only she knew.
song performed by by Michelle Branch

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Don't Know If You Knew
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel happy
Remembering those fun moments we had together
How it would bring me joy to make you laugh
To make you smile - Bright up your day
How I would enjoy seeing you every day
Having long conversations together
How it would please me to pleasure you
Make you feel like a queen - Treat you like royalty
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I yearn
Remembering that amazing friendship we shared
Shocked at how horridly it suddenly ended
Shocked at how cold you treated me
I yearn for that strong friendship we shared
Like no other - Like every other
I sometimes ask myself why it is that I still do
After finding out your true self
I guess I'm just a fool - Loved you too much
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel love
Thinking of you - Your beauty
Feeling that there's no other girl out there
Which could ever replace you
Or one to share the same love I share for you
I don't know why I loved you so much
Or is it love? - I just don't know any more
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I try to negotiate
Thinking that I could change
Change for the better
Become the man you want me to be
Get in shape - Be more fancy
Maybe one day you'd come to realise
That you've made a terrible mistake
And that one day, you'll want to make amends
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel confused
Not knowing whether I still feel for you
But in the end knowing that deep down
I never stopped loving you - Caring for you
I try to tell others that I stopped loving you
Sometimes I even try to fool myself that I just don't care
But it's hard to fool your own heart - Possibly impossible
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel in denial
Feeling that there's still a chance
I could still fix things - I'd think
It's not too late - I'd assure myself
We could still be close - As friends, of course
I could supress my feelings for you
It's ok - I'd do anything for you
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel hate
Remembering all the sacrifices I made for you
How unappreciative you were, are
I cant believe I fell for you
I'd love to know what I saw in you
Never have I been able to explain
Not to me - Not to anyone
I wish you had just acted cold from the start
Instead of leading me on for so long
What a fool I was, am
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel sad
Sad that I never lived up to your expectations
Sad that I could never be the man you wanted
The man of your dreams - Your fantasies
Remembering the times when I was wrong
Causing you to feel sad - Disappointing you
But in the end there was nothing I could do
I just wasn't good enough for you
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel forgiveness
Forgiving you for the way you treated me
How you handled the situation - Handled me
You just don't know how to handle these situations
Guys who have feelings for you - Or better yet,
Are madly in love with you - You just don't know
But it's ok - I'd say to myself
It's not your fault - I forgive you
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel regret
Remembering the first day I ever met you
Wishing I could just go back
Reversing everything that happened
Stopping me from going through this pain
Avoiding getting my heart crushed like no other
Not having to spend every day
Wishing that I never felt for you
Wishing that I had never fallen for you
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
Sometimes I feel angry
Remembering the way you treated me after
How furious it would make me
Knowing that what we had was all over
Sometimes I wouldn't be able to help it
The anger just gets to me
Sometimes I scream - Sometimes I swear
Sometimes I hit things - Sometimes I throw them
I don't know if you knew
But sometimes I think of you
I guess I've been thinking about you a lot
It's already been seven weeks
I don't know why I've been counting
But I guess I have
But I guess you know that by now
poem by by unknown author

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Emotions
i am feeling empty inside
maybe! it's because the feelings that i hide?
at times it's a feeling of loneliness
and at times, it's loves and desires hidden away.
but with all this i have to say.
i will never change the sensations
of feeling different emotions.
love, joy, sadness, bitterness, sorrow, anxieties, and stress.
but closeness is the one i love the best.
to be close and to be inspired, is my lifelong desire.
to have someone to hug you and to tell
you that everything is going to be alright.
and that someone is there, when you're down and out
that is what emotions is all about.
i found love and it was bursting to be free
a love, so deeply hidden inside of me.
i saw the love in someone elses eyes
feelings and emotions that they could not hide.
i felt their exhileration, and each and every sensation.
i felt the pains that a heart must go through
to bring all feelings closer to you.
the heart and the mind work hand in hand
but it is the soul that makes the plan.
(is it the mind that tells the heart what is love, what is pain.
what is sorrow? or is it the heart that tells the mind these things?)
the soul is the one that instills all these things into us
and this is what we have to trust.
emotions is lifes key
it could make you a slave, or set you free.
poem by Louis Rams

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If Pride Was Felt Inside To Feel
If pride was felt inside to feel it...
It would be shown.
And to all would be known.
If pride was felt with intent and integrity,
Few would be envious.
And who would then express jealousy.
But pride and identity,
Is as distant as an orphan...
Seeking purpose and a home,
Alone.
To roam.
Feeling disconnected.
Leaving one who travels...
Wishing this corrected.
If pride was felt inside to feel it...
It would be shown.
And to all would be known.
But...
One who travels,
Wishing to connect...
Feels as distant as an orphan,
Alone.
To roam!
And...
Feeling disconnected.
Hoping one day,
Pride will be displayed and known.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Always, In All Ways
For always, in all ways
You'll be in my mind
For always, in all ways
The words have been
So hard to find
I still remember you as a child
Holding you in my arms
The way you looked up to me
I thought that I'd always be
I'd be there beside you
For always, in all ways
For always, in all ways
You'll stay in my heart
For always, in all ways
This distance is too far apart
I thought you'd always be Daddy's child
Then suddenly you were grown
And now that you're on your own
Whenever you feel alone
I'll be there beside you
For always, in all ways
I never thought that
This day would come
When we'd have to say
Goodbye
But now that you're on your own
Whenever you need a home
I'll be there inside you always, in all ways
I'll be there inside you always, in all ways
song performed by by Kenny Loggins

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Unexpected
My heart as always been an open book
I hide nothing, it's just who I am
But because of certain
Paths that I took
The unexpected
The wrong choices
I use to close my heart
To any person that tried to get close
I find it hard to share
My soul
My heart
My very being
To anyone that wants
To get close
Through my muse
I express what I feel
Through my muse
I hide no lies
Through my muse
I've learnt how to be alive
Through my muse
I've meet all of you
You have shown me how to love
You have shown me how to smile
You have shown me how to share
You have shown me how to be human
And I've learnt to be free
By just being me
With that in mind
I thank you all for just being you.
And being my friend
©Copyright Kaila George 2012
poem by Kaila George

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Majestic Ecstasy
I wish I knew you before...
You decided to cry,
For the rest of your life...
With that state of mind.
When will you feel deserving to accept,
A happiness that is within your reach...
Just for you,
Free of past regrets.
Although I know it is unrecognizable.
Perhaps disposable as well.
And on that,
I am not willing to bet, yet.
Forget those promises and missteps made.
I thought with us we would clear the slate.
And be done of those mistakes.
With others who came to introduced to us,
Baggage with issues packed...
To share with us their every heartbreak.
I wish I knew you before...
You decided to cry,
For the rest of your life.
With that state of mind.
You can not be honest with me!
Not if you aren't able to leave,
That hypnotic bleeding behind.
When am I going to occupy some of that time?
When will I begin to see,
The one I knew who now plays seek and find!
I am yours.
But not a part of you...
Radiates onto me to shine.
I'd like to know,
More than one piece of you...
You keep for me and say it's mine!
I wish I knew you before...
You decided to cry,
For the rest of your life.
With that state of mind.
I hope one day we will really come to meet.
Before, during or after...
When we do,
Come.
Together when we together...
With a majestic ecstasy,
Come when we meet.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Through Difficult Times
As things in life begin to wane, life can fill with hurt and pain,
And one may even slip into fear, as dark times do draw near,
Whether health or just this life, times that wane bring us strife,
Call them trials or even a test; they sure can try the very best.
But, as Believers in The Lord, our hard times are not ignored,
While He remains in control, of our difficulties, big and small,
With this Truth, we bear in mind; The Lord God, is not unkind,
Knowing all that we will face, God grants us sustaining Grace.
Jesus Christ, being fully aware, knows just what we can bear,
And allows no more our way, than we can handle, day to day,
Knowing all, that is to come, and where our trials will be from,
So as The Lord does His part, as Believers we trust His heart.
All’s achieved for God’s Glory, with our trials part of the story,
And as for us, it’s understood, trials are allowed for our good,
Although we don’t understand, just how God moves His hand,
We completely trust all of our life, to God’s Son, Jesus Christ.
All life’s obstacles we can overcome, in the Power of His Son,
Who taking sin’s penalty for all, makes my trials all quite small,
Gaining over sin total Victory, He allots us power from Calvary,
And He guides me in that power, through my very darkest hour.
(Copyright ©07/2010)
Hard Times Are Over
Its been very hard
But its getting easier now.
Hard times are over, over for a while.
The leaves are shining in the sun,
And Im smiling inside.
You and I watching each other on a street corner,
Cars and buses and planes and people go by.
But we dont care, we wanna know,
Wanna know in each others eyes
That hard times are over, over for some time. (yeh!)
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Its been very rough,
But its getting easier now.
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
The streams are twinkling in the sun
And Im smiling inside.
You and I walking together round the street corner.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over.
song performed by by Yoko Ono

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hard Times Are Over
Its been very hard
But its getting easier now.
Hard times are over, over for a while.
The leaves are shining in the sun,
And Im smiling inside.
You and I watching each other on a street corner,
Cars and buses and planes and people go by.
But we dont care, we wanna know,
Wanna know in each others eyes
That hard times are over, over for some time. (yeh!)
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Its been very rough,
But its getting easier now.
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
The streams are twinkling in the sun
And Im smiling inside.
You and I walking together round the street corner.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over, over for awhile.
Hard times are over,
Hard times are over.
song performed by by Yoko Ono

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Merciful
To roar like a lion,
To fight like a bull,
To move like a tortise,
To play like a man,
To sleep like a sheep,
To care like a woman,
But do not hide your love to the one you care for;
Because, the woman brought forth the baby.
Knowing her love is better than war,
Knowing her peace is better than hate,
Knowing her mind is better than lies,
But the smell of her sweet taste is all that you need.
Think twice before you throw a stone into the market place,
For it may easily hit someone you know;
And do not eat the bread of idleness.
Before your womb was closed and now it is opened,
Today you have achild to swing on with your life.
So quench my heart with your love and,
refine my mind with your peace;
Because, every house is filled with hatred.
Beware of dogs and do not destroy the potter's field,
And let your love so teach others with a smile;
For your innerself is the beginning of everything.
The Ruler is merciful and you have to be mercuful at all times,
For we do have histories of our times.
To roar like a lion and to learn like a sheep,
Keep yourself away from that which is negative;
And gain the land by being merciful to all.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis

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