Acknowledgement
I am who I am!
Accepted.
I walk a path I understand.
I can not reject it!
Identity I have identified.
Those years in denial...
Have been long pushed aside.
I no longer beat myself up!
Emotions within me I do not hide.
I do not find excuses,
To seduce with alibis...
Reduced to tears I cry!
Diversity I welcome with glee.
This journey given to me is my destiny.
I get up each day feeling blessed as I pray.
Acknowledgement has me cemented.
Regardless of what may come my way...
Or what others may say,
They believe I should portray!
In pieces pulled to please each day.
Dissecting me,
To leave myself abandoned and betrayed.
I am the man I am.
Unafraid to display...
This 'gift' God has given,
Commanding as I obey!
I am who I am!
Comprehending without demands,
Or expecting acceptance.
With rejection wherever I stand!
I am not seeking clarification.
Or directions I anticipate!
I dedicate each step I take to purpose.
My motivation is to be me completely!
And all that I am is fulfilled!
There is no want or need I wish...
That God does not deliver!
I am here at His will and testament.
No other definition do I represent.
And my voice will not be silenced,
Before spoken words with content meant...
Reach to beseech those listening,
Are heard to compliment...
These times my mind now finds descending.
And this mission I observe that preserves my devotion,
Was not created to become aborted.
Nor distorted to be teased,
By the ease of temptation!
Although this hold on my strength,
Can be weakened.
But not at length.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
Devotion
If I am right
If I can be
Constant and faithful
Youll find me
In my devotion
In my devotion
What if you find a fault
Between my purpose and my deeds
And deem me beyond salvation
Judge me to be unworthy
Of your devotion
Of your devotion
If this be obsession deliver me
A passing infatuation deliver me
A feeling lacking in purity deliver me
A test of fidelity deliver me
Deliver me
Deliver me
What if I should find
Youre no good for me
What if I cant be strong enough
What if I cant break free
Of my devotion
Of my devotion
song performed by by Tracy Chapman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Walk Unafraid
As the sun comes up as the moon
Goes down
These heavy notions creep around
It makes me think
Long ago I was brought into
This life a little lamb
A little lamb
Courageous stumbling
Fearless was my middle name
But somewhere there i
Lost my way
Everyone walks the same
Expecting me to step
The narrow path theyve laid
They claim to
Walk unafraid
Ill be clumsy instead
Hold my love me or leave me
High
Say keep within the boundaries if you want
To play
Say contradiction only makes it harder
How can I be
What I want to be
When all I want to do is strip away
These stilled constraints
And crush this charade
Shred this sad masquerade
I dont need no persuading
Ill trip fall pick myself up and
Walk unafraid
Ill be clumsy instead
Hold my love me or leave me
High
If I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I dont care what I have to step over
Im prepared to look you in the eye
Look me in the eye
And if you see familiarity
Then celebrate the contradiction
Help me when I fall to
Walk unafraid
Ill be clumsy instead
Hold my love me or leave me
High
Walk unafraid
Ill be clumsy instead
Hold my love me or leave me
High
song performed by by REM
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In My Advancing Years
And,
In my advancing years...
Those struggles I feared,
Are memories of my past.
I ask and I've kept,
That peace of mind once out of my reach.
I desire more to explore,
A life now I've allowed to teach.
Instead of a search I keep,
In continued excuses met to refuse...
A life given to me.
And one I discovered I like,
In my advancing years.
And,
In my advancing years...
Tears that once flowed,
For those I miss so much in my life.
Today,
I've come to realize my life should be lived...
And not to fight,
Against...
The acceptance of surprises.
And I should stop sitting on a fence
In those disguises to hide.
In my advancing years,
I've learned to dance...
Until the music stops.
And I'm no longer here...
To hear as clear as I do now.
With ears that will be silenced.
And I should not wait,
Or anticipate the outcome.
But I will instill adventure.
In my advancing years uncensored.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Bridled
Bridled on roads no longer disturbing.
With a weakened back patched...
From shoulders hunched,
And freed of carrying ancestral anger launched.
I am my own strong buck and steed.
On a tight lipped mission,
I understand and that is all I need!
As I move against the grain...
Others follow with lightened loads.
I look for no safe haven to rest.
None there ever showed!
My mission is explicit.
One sometimes I wished away.
But I have accepted,
Without regret on my path...
Certain 'gifts' I must deliver,
Without hesitation or doubts that last.
And 'why' is this?
I do not ask!
My task is to accomplish.
Whether or not tears fall or I bleed.
To look forward on my journey here,
And not what others do...
Or what I've done in my past,
The one I leave behind me fast!
Looking ahead I must...
With a trust that I grasp!
To make myself and my Master pleased.
And to breathe without sighing or grieving...
At last!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A 'Thing' To Be Brushed Away
Anyone allowing themselves,
To be made useless...
With the producing of excuses,
Has reduced a blessing to them given...
As a 'thing' to be brush away.
With no faith in self that stays.
That moment anyone accepted,
A noticeable sign of rejection...
With a seeking from within,
For an approval to fit in...
Began for them the beginning to portray,
Themselves as a willing victim.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Empowered
Do you read and leave,
Without feeling the content?
Do you receive the message...
That is left and meant?
Do you sit and contemplate,
What it is that is said?
Does anything stay connected...
In your head to reflect.
Every word selected has a purpose,
To affect.
Those emotions hidden deep.
To respect...
Not neglect.
Each of us are directed,
To use this gift we have to touch.
And if it is protected in honesty...
The delivery exposes an effectiveness,
The receiver can not reject.
Do you read and leave,
Without feeling the content?
Do you receive the message...
That is left and meant?
The you have become empowered!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Journey Down Life's Pathway
A Journey Down Life's Pathway
I'm taking a journey down life's pathway
into a world unknown to me.
Unsure of the directions I must take
but one thing I know for sure
I'm to walk by faith and not by sight
as the world is known to do.
I decided to walk down this life's pathway
when I answered the Father's call from above.
Everything going so smooth,
I asked my Father to draw me close
and make me more like His Son.
Then all of a sudden my world turned upside down
test and trials that came my way
I didn't understand why?
There is no way possible to walk this life's pathway
that I have chosen for Him.
So discouraged and ready to give up
from all the hurt and pain in my life
I know I have failed
it seems nothing turns out right.
With tears in my eyes and with all of my heart
I cried out, “Father!
This is not what I wanted
nor is this what I asked for.
Can't you see there is too much pain? '
Then I hear His soft gentle voice telling me
'Through the test and trials
that I have sent into your life
is to teach you to lean and trust in Me.
Through test and trials I draw you close
and make you more like MY Son.'
Now I'm beginning to understand why.
Still with all the test and trials
I stumble, fall and at times
I just want to give up.
I still wonder why it has to be so hard
why can't I just run and hide?
There is too much pain and heartache
to continue on a journey down this life's pathway
no matter how hard I try.
Again I hear that soft and gentle voice
of my Father saying to me,
'Don't be discourage and don't give up
for I have brought you this far.
I have never left you, my child,
and I will never leave you alone.
I will go with you each step
and every mile of the way
until your work is done.'
With His words so gentle
and softly spoken
now encourages me to stand tall.
Through test and trials still come my way
I know that I'm not alone
my strength is renewed each and every day.
So no matter what may come my way
I will draw close to my Father
and become more like His Son.
Then when my journey down this life's pathway
finally comes to an end
I know without a doubt
I will stand with Them
through out all eternity.
July 14,1999
poem by Connie L. Burchett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Choice Is to Make History
I'm one to adventure life.
Accepting it as a process.
I feel blessed to be granted it to bloom, flourish and grow.
Seeking purpose.
And when that purpose is fulfilled,
It then is time to move on!
Like each season that acknowledges the next.
Never to overstay a visit!
I too have those same wishes.
To remain unchallenged,
I know is not my mission.
And as long as I am blessed with my life,
I will seek the unknown.
To uncover it.
To leave behind for someone to discover I existed.
My choice is to make history.
Not relive it!
At times it can become uncomfortable.
But no learning I've ever achieved,
Came easy.
Or resulted from a path cleared of obstacles.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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From a Deeply Rooted Vision
The laughs have faded
On the path chosen
One for years has walked alone.
In silent tears...
God assured would someday dry,
To bring one praise.
And deep within a faith kept,
Allowed steps made forward...
To continue through thunder.
The ground would shake beneath one's feet.
And yet with determination,
One would keep seeking that which is desired.
Feeling blessed with a gratefulness expressed,
Each day.
As those laughs once heard...
Now brings a smile to one's face.
Tears have been replaced with joy!
And this journey has uncovered,
Much fruit to share from a harvest...
No one can deny,
Who is closely identified...
With the toil of its planting!
Those who stood by to criticize in idled time...
Offer cheers.
But one who reaps and wipes a sweating brow,
Does what has to be done...
To fulfill one's purpose.
Not expecting to be watched,
How obstacles are removed to unblock...
From a deeply rooted vision!
Cleared with the assistance of The Almighty!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That's What Woke Me Up
In disbelief?
I was too,
Before I accepted.
There was a time,
I placed truth on trial.
Everything vivid,
Became for me a denial.
My thoughts and observations,
Were clearer than my own footsteps.
But when I began to follow my mind,
To leave doubt and fear behind...
I knew I was fine!
Not that I declared anything wrong.
I was not right with it.
And that took a long time to see.
I didn't understand that immediately.
Until I saw 'me'.
And the pieces on the outside,
Completed a total fit.
I began to see things as they were.
And not what I thought they should be.
I had been against the naturalness of it.
With interpretations I 'heard' should be mine.
I saw that to be imperfect.
And I became disturbed by it.
And doing my best to sit and fix the imperfect in me.
And God does not make mistakes on purpose.
To fake them as something done unconscious.
People do!
To unloosen but not tighten screws.
And that's what 'woke' me up!
I began to tighten up my activities quick,
To overdose on reality.
Now I've got my dosages under control.
In disbelief?
I was too,
Before I accepted.
There was a time,
I placed truth on trial.
Everything vivid,
Became for me a denial.
Until I saw 'me'.
And the pieces on the outside,
Completed a total fit.
I began to see things as they were.
And not what I thought they should be.
Because they could never be how I saw them.
I saw them to be imperfect.
Not comprehending a thing as I followed.
To become involved in an assortment of heartbreaks.
And God does not make mistakes,
To fake them as something done unconscious.
People do!
And I no longer follow those who have eyes,
They allow to remain clouded.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Too Proud Of It I Have Been
It was never discouraging to me,
When at a time I had been accused...
Of not having an identity.
And I was breaking down barriers,
Blocked and barricaded...
By those who 'still' do not understand,
The purpose and extent of my creativity.
I do not exist to represent a cause or a group.
To spin circles around insecurities some pursue.
I am here to challenge those who make excuses,
For themselves to use.
And...
To state my talents are not ethnic based.
With limitations others may be accustomed to,
That allows them to continue their own self hate.
Seeking to be accepted and approved...
Has never been the shoes I walked comfortably in.
I remember being told I was not 'black'.
Because I dared to cross assorted boundaries...
At a time judgemental 'blacks' were uncomfortable to do that.
And sat unadventured around and behind walls,
Closing in upon their backs.
I remember being told I had 'sold out'!
By the very same folks...
Who today prance and dance about,
In places they once pointed me out as not being 'Afrocentric'.
And they wonder why more people like them,
Are not going to those places with a paying of their visits.
Only to arrive to announce their indifference.
Not to learn.
Not to accept.
But to reject,
The experience.
It was never discouraging to me,
When at a time I had been accused...
Of not having an identity.
Because I've always knew who it 'is' I am.
And for sixty-four years I've never tried to hide that fact.
Too proud of it I have been.
And comfortable in my skin.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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No Matter What You Think Of Me
No matter what you think of me,
Will not change the course of my destiny.
Nor will the anguish of accomplishing my tasks...
On this path.
Where obstacles remain.
Where they for me,
Seem to last.
To sustain each day I grasp and pass.
Perhaps if I sought your approval,
I could gain some rest from that rejection.
Your lack of acceptance,
Would enhance my own dejection.
But no matter what you think of me,
Will not change my destiny.
I've toiled on this journey too long.
And what you perceive for me to be wrong...
Will not affect my insight.
I have struggled to maintain it.
With a faith that has kept me strong!
Days long and sleepless nights.
And no matter what you think of me...
There have been others who have thought far worse.
God had placed them on my path,
First!
To rehearse any emotions felt.
To conquer and to rid.
Knowing too well how now they must be dealt!
Alone...
Within me.
And without the thought of seeking outside approval.
From either open or closed eyelids.
Mine, yours or others.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Philippians 4: 13
The strength to resist the night
The strength to endure the day
The strength to keep righteous paths in sight
The strength to take them without delay
The strength to find a purpose in life
The strength to find the truths it brings
The strength to kick away from strife
The strength to stabalize the rock it clings
The strength to light a friend’s day up
The strength to resist wrathful foes
The strength to fill a stranger’s dry cup
The strength to shun sin when it opposed
The strength to feel a injured man’s pain
The strength to hold a reject’s hand
The strength to act against any gain
The strength to love without demand
The strength to understand that our King
Has blessed us with more than we can contain
Therefore regardless what time may bring
The strength will continue to reign
poem by Anders Lim
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Unique and Cartoonish
She said 'things' I write about did not exist!
As if she knew my experiences...
And the affects they played on my mind!
Of course I've learned to have patience
With such ignorance.
I identified that immediately on my journey...
And was prepared to respond.
Moving on and feeling blessed...
I am no longer disturbed in rest,
Or protest misunderstandings!
Yet I do know how to remove nonsense
Off my path fast!
There is something about clarity I've learned to enjoy!
And he say-she say-they say mindless crap,
Has graduated my insight with a peace of mind I like!
I grew up with folks disputing truths
Reduced to gossiped innuendos!
Perhaps that is why my writings aren't believed,
As actual occurrences.
The dysfunctions are too unique and cartoonish in application!
However...
My impressions,
Sometimes suppressed by depressions!
And inflicted aggrevation from apartheid oppression...
Still existing in disguise as diversity wishes.
Were not created by Disney and a crew of animators!
Although I admit...
I became quite amused by the busloads of tourists!
And folks still think all that's needed in areas of my birth
Is a few peanuts to exist as they take snapshots...
To prove their 'liberal' sensibilities!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Temptation
Ive never been closer
Ive tried to understand
That certain feeling
Carved by anothers hand
But its too late to hesitate
We cant keep on living like this
Leave no track
Dont look back
All I desire
Temptation
Keep climbing higher and higher
Temptation
Adorable creatures
Temptation
With unacceptable features
Temptation
Trouble is coming
Temptation
Its just the high cost of loving
Temptation
You can take it or leave it
Temptation
But youd better believe it
Youve got to make me an offer
That cannot be ignored
So lets head for home now
Everything I have is yours
Step by step and day by day
Every second counts I cant break away
Leave no trace
Hide your face
All I desire
Temptation
Keep climbing higher and higher
Temptation
Adorable creatures
Temptation
With unacceptable features
Temptation
Trouble is coming
Temptation
Its just the high cost of loving
Temptation
You can take it or leave it
Temptation
But youd better believe it
Keep us from temptation
Lead us not into temptation
Trying to find it
Temptation
Youve got to get up behind it
Temptation
Put your dime in the hot slot
Temptation
But its a million to one shot
Temptation
You think that youre right no
Temptation
Youre going to fake it tonight now
Temptation
Give me a breakdown
Temptation
Because its time for a shakedown
song performed by by Heaven 17
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sail Through Your Emotions, Don't Sink
Life, people say, a journey
Indeed, it is a journey through emotions
Life turns dry
If it is without that
Emotions steer the course of life
It drives you take directions
As in a journey there are stops or stages
We too come across in this
Inevitable life journey
A number of junctions
With an emotion stopping us
To take the appropriate direction
A journey could be smooth
And less cumbersome
With emotions not stopping us for long
And demanding tough decisions
Emotions are not absolute
Their nature and extent
Varying with previous journey experiences
As a kid the emotions go unregistered
And the stops do not long last
Journey goes on smoothly for most of us
As we advance in the journey
The emotions become strong
And they get registered
Making us spend long time
In identifying the so called right directions
Checking emotions and not yielding to them
Is indeed a wisdom
And not many are successful
In making this happen
It is well advised
Not to allow your emotions drown you
But to develop in you a float
So that you sail over them
Seeking divine guidance
Developing a taste for artful creations
Looking for opportunities in challenges
Schooling your mind against
Wild and negative thoughts
Heartfully laughing in testing circumstances
And out-of-the-box thinking
Are the prescriptions
For sailing over emotions
So that you will enjoy living
Save yourselves
Sail over emotions
Sink not into them
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
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Unload the Excess Baggage
I am not the one,
To walk around validating...
Every pinch felt from an illness.
Or am I the one to carry pain,
As if I've been awarded...
A medal for valor and honor.
Each day as I pray...
And after I awaken,
I feel tremendously blessed...
That God has pulled my sisters and I,
Through much heartbreak and stress.
We, in those days, believed we needed to address.
And when I hear some folks,
Making excuses for mistakes they've made...
I can go through any day,
Without seeking to be medicated.
To fake my feelings to numb the aches.
I want to keep it real.
That's how I feel.
I am not the one,
To walk around validating...
Every pinch felt from an illness.
Nor am I the one,
Seeking to skate through a life...
Speeded by an easy breeze.
God has blessed me!
And I know this.
And there is nothing better I can do...
Than to hold my head up,
And unload the excess baggage.
To live the best life feeling grateful.
And blessed to be able to confess it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Kept Boys
Kept boys,
Refusing to step...
Even for a few seconds away,
From playgrounds and corners...
Where they would mingle to stay.
On an everyday basis for years...
As time from them passed,
To leave their minds uncleared.
Kept boys,
Never growing to become men...
To begin that journey.
But instead taught to dropp their seed,
To impregnate from a selection of silly girls...
To pick and choose from whom they please.
Believing themselves then accepted...
And seen as men and women.
But men and women they will never be.
Kept boys,
Prison inmates and leeches...
Many down low and weak.
And impressed to follow images,
Gives them bragging rights to keep.
These kept boys are on a mission,
To remain in stuck manifested positions...
Cemented in stereotypes.
And validated by an environment,
That makes this decay alright to condone...
Mindless appetites in and outside broken homes.
Kept boys,
Refusing to step...
Even for a few seconds away,
From playgrounds and corners...
Where they would mingle to stay.
On an everyday basis for years...
As time from them passed,
To leave their minds uncleared.
And...
Reflects a tragicness permitted to exist.
With hopes if kept illuminated in deceptions cheered,
This will eventually portray generations of strength.
Representing a heritage of fools used,
To exist only to play upon themselves games and pranks.
As kept boys!
Never to be ranked with strength as men.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Off Of a Blinded Rollercoaster Ride
It is a great feeling,
To live with peace of mind.
And not trying to find,
Either acceptance or approval.
When this blessing is identified...
Conflicts observed and heard,
Do not disturb!
Or come close to pinch a nerve.
When the blessing of peace of mind,
Becomes identified...
It solidifies one's right,
To get off of a blinded rollercoaster ride.
It is a great feeling,
To live with peace of mind.
And not trying to find,
Either acceptance or approval.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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My strenth
My Strength
Oh Brother! you are my strength!
Your smile gives me the power to survive
And your love gives me the right to live.
The truth is that I wouldn't be existing
Without you, and if I would be,
There would be no identity.
Oh Brother, your words move me towards my destiny,
And your spirit helps me to keep rocking
Every morning the sunshine reminds me of your bravery
And hence, asks me if i am your sister.
Oh Brother, you are my strength!
Your courage shakes me up and blows me out of my fear.
The struggle in your journey,
And the success of your mission
Says me that nothing is impossible, but is a strong will
Oh Brother, you are my strength!
In the days when I am falling, you persuade me.
You are the sunshine and you are the moon.
No dreams would be fulfilled without you
And so my dignity.
poem by Pratisha Karki
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