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Unique and Cartoonish

She said 'things' I write about did not exist!
As if she knew my experiences...
And the affects they played on my mind!
Of course I've learned to have patience
With such ignorance.
I identified that immediately on my journey...
And was prepared to respond.
Moving on and feeling blessed...
I am no longer disturbed in rest,
Or protest misunderstandings!
Yet I do know how to remove nonsense
Off my path fast!
There is something about clarity I've learned to enjoy!
And he say-she say-they say mindless crap,
Has graduated my insight with a peace of mind I like!
I grew up with folks disputing truths
Reduced to gossiped innuendos!
Perhaps that is why my writings aren't believed,
As actual occurrences.
The dysfunctions are too unique and cartoonish in application!
However...
My impressions,
Sometimes suppressed by depressions!
And inflicted aggrevation from apartheid oppression...
Still existing in disguise as diversity wishes.
Were not created by Disney and a crew of animators!
Although I admit...
I became quite amused by the busloads of tourists!
And folks still think all that's needed in areas of my birth
Is a few peanuts to exist as they take snapshots...
To prove their 'liberal' sensibilities!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If You Are Among Those Who See Things

There are those who are lost.
And there are those seeking clarity.
Some see those who are lost,
And seeking clarity.
Those are the ones ignored by all.
Since what they see,
No one wishes to admit.
But then again...
If you are among those who see things,
That have not happened yet...
You have to have more patience!
Just like the dawn awaiting to be enjoyed!
Some will know it exist.
Some will not come to realize it at all.
And there will be those still in argument,
About what happened to them yesterday.
Choosing to stay there and have it relived.
These are the folks left to wonder,
Why they are left alone!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Found A Way To Stay Protected

I've learned to strip away nonsense,
To get to the core of where my happiness...
Wanted to surface to breathe,
With a breath to freely exist.

And telling it like it is,
I discovered eliminated conflict...
To keep inside to confuse ideals.
And those lessons learned taught to me,
Were real and created my appetite...
To crave the need to keep my peace of mind,
Kept delicious.
And it is.

I've learned to strip away nonsense,
To get to the core of where my happiness...
Wanted to surface to breathe,
With a breath to freely exist.
And it has found a way to stay protected,
From close inspections wishing to monitor...
On a daily basis.

Let me share something with you.
And I am going to keep it basic and quite simple.

I could care less what you think.
Or how you arrived to express an opinion about me,
My activities or the size shoe I wear.
I have not crawled on my knees to appease your assessments.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If You Don't Exist

then who will exist
for you?
who will record
who you are and what you
have done?
nobody.
nobody.
nobody
but you.
because just like you they also
think that they don't exist
come to think of it
if all of us do not exist at all
then who exists?
nothing
nothing
nothing
it is simply absurd when the world
moves and no one is
existing

i don't exist too.
because i have learned
to live.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What It Is They Do

Some folks enjoy doing things.
While other folks 'are' what they enjoy doing!
Some folks enjoy cooking.
And then there are cooks.
Some folks enjoy singing.
And then there are those who sing.
Some folks enjoy writing.
I know I do,
And I've been told I am a writer.
Some folks have no problem,
Producing what they do.
And others will say they don't have the time.
Although they waste it telling folks,
What it is they do...
And yet nothing of that,
Ever gets done!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Today As I Reflect Upon My Blessed Life

I have been tested and criticized,
By the best.
And have had obstacles placed,
Directly in front of my own footsteps.

I've lived in a project!
And was still compared to suburbanites.
Some folks I am related to,
Didn't speak to me...
Because they believed I thought I was 'white'.
So foolish are those with that insight.

Today as I reflect upon my blessed life...
I realize how blind many are,
Choosing darkness over a vision of lighted sight.
And I thank God day and night,
For allowing me to witness His gift!
Without feeling compelled to be limited,
To pressures of isolated ignorance that exist!

There is so much to be grateful for.
Each day I recognize this more and more!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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An Understanding Has Been Acquired

Experience is not from a classroom taught.
That is a process life only offers.
To believe that one can teach,
Or receive experience...
To relieve the sacrifices that come as a reward,
Is to click one's heels three times,
In the hopes Auntie Em has a freshly baked apple pie...
Just pulled from the oven,
Upon one's return from the Land of Oz!
Could be associated with having a drug induced,
Experience.

And these things happen!
Anything is possible.

Like a child hoping to escape a spanking...
Once it has been discovered,
The family cat has been put inside the refrigerator.
How does one handle this situation?
That's a judgement issue.
However,
After the tenth pet has been found in this manner...
There is a real need to take this as a serious issue.

Now...IF,
One was to serve the cat for dinner,
And watch the child nibble on it?
That is an experience that will never be forgotten!
You can say...
Experience, in this example, has definitely been achieved!
An understanding has been acquired.
And desired results...
Develop over time,
With psychological adjustments!
Can be obtained.
Maybe a little costly...
But obtainable!
Hopefully...
In some unique cases,
The avoidance of permanent mental damage...
Is recommended.

But,
We must never look back,
Wishing to have taken other actions!
We must be careful not to be too extreme,
When making our decisions.
We must...
At all cost,
Avoid having someone else's experiences...
Haunt us for the rest of our lives!
Anger fits can linger!

We have to set aside time for those adjustments.
Some take longer than others.

Experience is a mind altering change.
For some...
This process expands comprehension!
And yet,
For others...
They are left scarred for the rest of their lives!
Like one who is forced to eat broccoli.

Lima beans is my thing.
To this day I can't stand them!
And I'm sure the feeling is mutual!

However...
It is very rare these life changes,
Can be instructed.
Although some experiences,
Can leave folks traumaticized!
And these we must consider as 'Prozac Specials'.
They will be 'numb' up for quite sometime.
Some are slower at recovery than others!
Involving the aforementioned experience.
And we must be more patient with these kinds of minds.
One never knows...
When the cracking might snap.

And hopefully with some therapy...
Some folks are able to use their experiences,
As an insight for others to prove...
Even those with dysfunctions,
Can become quite successful...
At keeping their 'ailments' undetected.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Portfolio

Look...
I could care less,
About you being stressed
Distressed, depressed...
Or suppressed with anxieties,
Addressed in stale oppressions.
You confess you detest.
What's next?
On this merry-go-round...
You have found a comforting rest.
Is 'this' your 'best'?

I am no longer available,
To share 'that' with you!
Not at this hour.
Not in these times.
Not after what you and I have been through!
To spin in circles just to prove...
I can get dizzy in one spot?
And stagger around unable to move?

I have found my own happiness.
And those 'keys' to my success.
If that is the kind of conversation you wish to have...
Then I am open to express,
Why we both should be thankful to be so blessed.
Fussin' and cussin' is not on my agenda.
Nor is defeat or limitation speeches...
To feed into my consciousness.

IF you have a problem with 'that' or with me...
I will not stop you at all 'if' should turn your back,
To leave!
Be my guest!
You will be received...
In that crab barrel protesting like the rest!

I am only looking for good investments,
For my peace of mind that has been tested.
And whether or not this is understood...
You will not find me sitting on my behind,
To prove to you I can suffer...
Better than you ever could.
Or anyone in the neighborhood.

Should I mope in despair?
Declare to the world I've been ignored?
Should I pout when opportunity knocks?
Because I don't like who or what I see...
When I 'peek' through that door?
I think not!
Not on my 'watch'!
Will I let that go unexplored.

You want to splurge on complaints?
And put restraints on your ambitions?
You want to make your life miserable...
And focus on your condition?
You want to moan and groan about you being 'PO'?
And identify yourself with others like that you know?
That's okay!
I'm not going to tell you don't do it that way!

I am setting up additions to my revised portfolio!
And folks like you who continue to review losses...
Are being removed from the stock the blocks,
My goodwill and the path my journey shows.
And what I feel is mine to be returned?
I've been taught some lessons I have learned...
And I've begun mending bridges I once had burned.

I sense my steps you wish to stop!
And I have to let you go!
My portfolio can not hold onto that nonsense.
I want more than trapping BS,
In my life to adventure and show!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Will Anyone Understand the History of This?

If something has been intentionally diminished,
From its original significance...
Can it be reintroduced,
To be given its proper respect?
Will it be accepted?
Will a discovery of this then be protected?

If this is done...
Will those affected forgive and forget?

And if this has been done to someone sincere...
Should they carry a bitterness to be shown?
Should they be accused of having 'attitude'
And keep that as a defense...
To project to anyone approaching close.
Or wishes again to appear and come near?

Will anyone understand the history of this?
Or will something they did not start...
Be clearly understood and dismissed?

Like calling someone the 'N' word...
To later discover,
They have influence with Kings and Queens.
Barons who control resources....they know!
And other folks like this,
They don't brag about or show.

Should someone who has been reduced...
Excuse the ignorance that appears?
Or should they realize the environment that is?
To keep a peace of mind with them...
Knowing foolish nonsense like this is praised.
And where they are for the moment...
Is a place where the folks,
Have been raised to be crazed!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Overcomed I Am With Determination

I am not alone in consciousness.
With many who are also aware,
Of what does...
And what for them,
Does not exist.
A connection within begins to click!

And I will never argue with someone,
ANYONE...
About their acceptance.
Or the degree of their acknowledgement.
I've learned personal experiences are just that.
Personally experienced.

Nor am I going to tolerate,
My peace of mind to be tampered.
And no where is 'that' on my top ten list.
I recognize but do not invite irritation.
I may respond with an opinion in conversation.
That's it.

And the hardest lesson there is to learn...
Is to listen.
And,
I've learned that lesson.

My right eyebrow,
Is somehow connected...
To my footsteps.

My eyebrow raises...
With a signal sent,
To my eyes to seek near exits.

Then my feet begin to move.

My reach for the exit...
Becomes a commitment.
And overcomed I am,
With determination. To split!
And I do it as if mastered.

As if to leave is my only priority.
And in many cases...
To get away from what's being layered and laid,
Becomes a needed desperation.
How many excuses to use the restroom,
Can one make?
I think four within an hour is ridiculous.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Some Obstacles Are Planted By Those Who Test

...and the fact is this...
I am not one on a mission,
To prove to those who witness...
I am here to exist.
Nor do I hesitate to debate a foolishness.

The first thing most would come to think,
When I take opportunities...
To declare I am black,
Is someone prepared to defend that fact!
Or feel I must attack because I am labelled that.

Listen...
The color of one's skin,
Has little to do with the mind within them.
And I will not allow a scrimmage,
To scuffle with in set defined limits.
Or restrict my life,
To choose what I do because it is liked.

Although I will admit,
Some obstacles are planted by those who test...
With a purpose to discourage my ambitiousness.
And I've learned not to get upset,
By those representing that kind of ignorance left.
Either at my door to greet.
Or laid before my placed footsteps!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Whether Or Not I Am Welcomed

You don't sit with a wish,
That I be responsive to you...
Do you?
Those days have decayed my patience.
Delaying my own priorities,
To please others...
Have removed those activities,
From my need list.

And I burned it!
Guaranteeing,
I would not be emotionally revisiting!

Patterns of relied upon sacrifices...
Have faded away with yesterday's news.
I've learned to find satisfaction,
In my own selfishness.
I had to!
Folks enjoy abusing others.
And themselves.

Once I tasted happiness...
I became addicted.

Oh yes!
Not a streak of guilt,
Rushes through my mind!
None I am trying to locate and find.

I have placed my wishes as number one.
To get things done.
Whether or not I am welcomed,
By procrastinators.
You know the ones who come together,
To stir up fresh batches of hypocrisies.

Not me!
I've graduated.
I've been given my diploma.

I don't take time to find something wrong,
With my life!
I wish to uncover each moment of bliss to live.
And if I have to create it myself...
It will be done!
No time am I going to waste in someone's face,
Sharing miseries.

The world has produced enough of them,
Who are already scholars!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Psychotic and Dysfunctional

Put me on your readers list,
If you wish.
And you will find your nonsense,
Not unique at all!
In fact...
Most of my writings deal with that...
As a main topic.
You should feel more relaxed now.
And all this time...
You believed you would not find a friend?
I knew you were psychotic and dysfunctional,
Long before you did.
I've removed my mask!
And you will notice that immediately!
Put me on your readers list,
If you wish.
And you will find your nonsense,
Not unique at all!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I Was Young

When I was a young I was impressionable
I believed everything to me that was told
But then suddenly in miracles I stopped believing
That was the day that I grew old.
I now do not believe in any miracle
As I was taught they do not or cannot exist
From the complex creation of any life
To the formation of a tiny cyst.
So no longer do I walk in amazement
That is created by our world and nature all around
I now know everything can be explained
From a slight touch to the hearing of a sound.
When I was a boy I played with toy soldiers
I played with toy guns and I even played war
But then I grew up and reality it sat in
Now those games I play them no more.
Seashells they do not speak the ocean
The end of a rainbow it holds no pot of gold
Wishes cannot be granted by the first star at night
Sometimes I wish that I didn't grow old.

Randy L. McClave

poem by Randy McClave
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An Appreciation For The Highs And Lows

I did not invent motivation.
Nor was initiative,
Sitting in a variety store...
Wishing that it,
I would come along to pick.

And dedication with devotion,
Was not served to me on a silver platter.
No matter how long I sat wishing for dreams to exist.

Something inside of me arrived long ago.
A comprehension to understand...
Yearning without earning,
What I wanted was not going to be...
In stars that glowed.
And the wearing of fine clothes,
Was not prioritized as my objective.

With lessons taught and disappointments bestowed,
I learned that patience wasn't everything I need to know.
I needed to know the connection between hard work, sacrifice...
And arguments I've settled with discipline in stubborn fights,
Helped me open my eyes...
To the kind of world this is I am blessed to live in.
BLESSED.
Without those selfish expectations.

I did not invent motivation.
Nor was initiative,
Sitting in a variety store...
Wishing that it,
I would come along to pick.
No!
I learned to tie my own shoes,
Before I was able to walk.

And dedication with devotion,
Was not served to me on a silver platter.
No matter how long I sat wishing for dreams to exist.
And...
The clearing of weeds off my own path,
Began a process of adventure through hills and valleys...
With an appreciation for the highs and lows,
That never seem to end.
And 'if' that is my task to last...
Who's journey is this I've been given to enjoy?

And FREE.
At no charge to me.
But to live it as it is with a gratitude expressed.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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When Time Has Played a Factor In Obtaining Knowledge

I've been forced to deal with 'aspects' of reality,
Most of my life.
And most of my life,
Never did I have wishes to flaunt a notoriety.
Or a skill I've obtained.
IF I was blessed or cursed to achieve it.

My folks had a 'thing' about being down to Earth.

I've never rehearsed what I've had to say to anyone.
Unless a 'character' I created while acting from a script...
Was prepared to light fire to a stage.
And I enunciated using every bit of tongue and lips.
With a throwing of my voice.
If I had to!
I've been trained in all of this!

And I was there to mesmerize!
Ready with emotions emoted under spotlight.
Not holding back one bit with a riveting performance.
Worthy of the attention given.

I learned early in life to know the difference,
Between 'acting' and being free of disguise.
Unfortunately,
Those who are not disciplined to know the 'art'
Of this skill...
Perceive it quite easy to steal scenes,
From a professional...
Who makes that look simple enough to do!
Oh no!
This is much more than a Halloween trick,
For untreated fools.

When time has played a factor in obtaining knowledge,
Identity 'and' confidence...
This,
Has to be shown to avoid further misunderstandings.

And these moments occur when others become upset...
Realizing I am the one directing them to the exit!
Exposing this ability to some for the first time.
And surprising a few,
Who had not witnessed this from their point of view before.
Just how qualified I am at what I do.
And how best to get it done to avoid any waste of movement.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I've Heard Those Old Stories Told

'Everything' about me you see...
My Father God,
Has taught to me.
I've heard those old stories told,
About what folks have done...
To make my life easy and comfortable.
Especially told to others who did not know.
And who did what...
When I got myself into ruts.

'God...
I am so glad You know the real deal! '

And I wonder 'who' that might have been?
That came to my aid when I needed them.
Hmmm...
It's true,
I have had folks give me 'things'.
And money loaned I paid back.
I've had people to me make promises.
And I remember every one of them broken...
From the time I was a kid!
Hmmm...
I can't remember anyone,
Motivating my moves!
Only You,
My Father.

I could say my entire life has been spent...
With me doing the giving.
And to a degree that would be true.
Since several people I have known...
Have told lies.
That's all they did and still do.

And I use to listen to a whole lot of BS.
With attempts I made to correct some mess.
Do I now?
No!

'Everything' about me you see...
My Father God,
Has taught to me.
And the biggest lesson I have learned to date?
Do not hesitate in the waiting of others to approve!
You'd be a dried up old prune in the doing.
If you've been blessed with a gift,
You better give it and be done with it!

And let whoever say whatever!
Give folks who gossip some fuel,
To keep their lips moving.
And doing something bizarre...
While you're at it!

Learn to live without restrictions and limitations.
You and your time are not defined by those mindless.
Unless you let it!
Then whose truth do you ultimately live?
It wont be mine because I have my own to live!

Although I do give folks credit where it is due.
Like being witnesses...
To the gifts God has given to me.
That's it!
Anything else folks would like to claim...
Did not occur on my watch.

But I do understand,
Why some folks like to associate themselves...
With those who struggle through and win,
Their battles and conquer over grief!
Thank You God, Almighty!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Existing to Please

No longer do I make myself assessible to folks.

I'd find myself rearranging my priorities,
At the dropp of a hat.
Wanting some folks to know,
They were special to me.

Those days are gone.
And so are old agendas!

I've updated my own needs.
And I no longer believe...
I should find myself last,
On a list of important things to get done.

If I don't think I belong at number one...
No one will believe I deserve to be!

The relevancy of my life has been changed!
And I had to act fast and drastically.
Before I found myself just existing to please.

It's not always best,
To make things look easy for the rest.
To 'be' or 'not to be' taken for granted...
Is a choice one makes,
And should not become an expected test!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not Sitting Around Waiting to Be Examined

Folks who wish they knew more about others and don't...
Say those like this are 'complicated'.

Nothing is complicated about someone who lives an active life.
Folks find them 'complicated' for this reason...
They are not sitting around waiting to be examined.
Although they may be gossiped about...
Very few of them are living lives with issues!
And if they do...
They seem to move on with them being handled.
Without communal get togethers.

On the other hand,
Folks who claim to know what's going on...
Will say they are not interested in politics.
But can tell you who did what to who and when,
Next door and down the block.
Their noses aren't going to travel too far!
That wouldn't be to the best of their interest.
And self indulgence is their main priority.

People on missions to get things done,
Are not in one place to be observed.
And they aren't living to receive acceptance.
They are here to achieve.
Not bleed another heart!
Or found huddled in groups,
Prepared to victimize one of their own kind.
For being disliked.
So disliked that person can not be ignored.
That person has to be agitated into conflict!

Unfortunately,
There aren't too many people like these.
People on the move...
With things to get accomplished.
Things they want to get done and do.

Those 'programmed' to be far less complicated!
And quick to ruin themselves.
And their quality of life...
By not paying attention to the decline of it!
Leave evidence and facts of that in abundance!

And they are hopeful President Obama produces a magic wand!

~He 'needs' to produce,
A Department to Combat the Onset of Mental Diseases.
And their long range affects on a programmed mindset! ~

That title is too long.
They are already accusing him of being too intelligent.
For a Black man...that is!
Even under a microscope,
They are trying to uncover his flaws.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Say Manure! That Will Stick!

They are killing the police,
Over dog urinations.
That is the latest commentary,
To depict a nation...
Fed on fantasy and degradation.

But of course this influence,
Has had its beginnings dipped...
In a lack of strict discipline.
When it was believed that sparing the rod,
Would not produce thoughtless and reckless
Children who grew...
To be caring women and men!

Who knew?
Did you?

Folks worship their pets,
First,
Then God next.
Scurring off to grooming shows...
Spending tons of money,
Just to see an animal strike a human pose.
To get a ribbon or a trophy bestowed.

To say today folks are sick,
With priorities of nonsense...
At the top of their list.
Doesn't need the brilliance of a poet,
To sit and write about it.

Although it aids the creative mind with a 'lift'!

This madness is all over the place.
And one does not need to rely on brilliance...
To unmistakably know this,
This...
I'm seeking the right word!

'Say manure!
That will stick! '

I think you're right!

And one does not need to rely on brilliance...
To unmistakably know,
This 'manure' exists!
With a stench that pollutes a senselessness,
That affects with a seriousness every continent.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Well Knit Organization

Go ahead.
Keep up that brave front.
Mask your emotions...
To prove how strong you are.
Keep your pain to yourself.
And guess what happens?
Something is going to crack.

Those who believe,
To keep things hidden and inside themselves...
Is okay?
And showers upon them admiration and respect.
Have already provided clear signs of dysfunction.
These folks will know everything and nothing at all.
They are there for 'everyone' else...
Trying to smooth the rough edges of other folks' lives.
And can not discuss the truth going on within themselves.
They will embellish it by becoming defensive.
But they are really a mystery within themselves.
They hide behind their agonies with a sense of humor.

I know!
Trust me.

Go ahead.
Keep up that brave front.
Mask your emotions...
To prove how strong you are.
Keep your pain to yourself.
And guess what happens?
Something is going to crack.

Trust me...
I know too well about that!
That kind of mindset was handed down to me.
But I gave that crap right back.
I learned too early in my life,
To keep my eyes on some folks!

And that's why it is easy for me today,
To identify those who lie to themselves...
And produce their own heartbreak.
I use to sympathize with them...
Before I discovered,
This was a well knit organization.
With folks soliciting on a daily basis.
And was nationally recognized!
They did not need another member.
It was not discussed.
That was determined.

These folks schedule their activities,
Around their doctor appointments.
So that gives one a clue...
Reality is not a hot topic with this bunch!
Noooo buddy! Not with them.

Folks like that...
Will never snap out of it.
Just hope you are not around them,
When their minds begin to crack!
After the affects of Prozac has worn off.
And their eyes have an unfocused glaze!
This may happen without warning...
So pace yourself slowly to the nearest exit!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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