Battle Of The Belly Bulge
You all had the adverts
that come through our email box
about fighting the battle of the bulge.
It’s not about the battle in World War 2
that they are talking about
it is the battle of the belly bulge.
The thing you get from eating
too much food or swilling too much beer.
It tends to send these things
to stick in just one place
and that is a little above the waist.
In some, the blubber wants to
hang over the edge
and then it seems you haven’t
got a waist at all.
They try to sell you miracle cures
that don’t work at all.
Go to the gym they say
the exercise will do the trick.
The problem there is that you
come out hungrier than you went in.
Now what do you do, tuck into another big pizza
and the circle goes around
and the bulge get even bigger.
Just to make things worse
is when you roll your way outside
and you see all these slim people
pass you in the street.
What is their secret I really want to know?
Here I am like Roly Poly
and they are like Streaky Bacon.
How do you do it I beg to know
for whenever I go bowling people like you
use me as the bowling ball.
I might knock down all the pins,
but I have to crawl back up the lane.
How do you do it I need to know?
I don’t want to be anymore
a gyms exercise ball.
Please, please tell me what the secret is?
There is no secret, no secret at all.
Eat anything you want but in moderation,
smaller portions that is and get plenty of exercise,
do a lot of walking.
Soon you will be able to see something
that you haven’t done in years,
YOUR TOES.
11 October 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Battle Of The Bulge
This year an ocean trip I took, and as I am a Scot
And like to get my money's worth I never missed a meal.
In spite of Neptune's nastiness I ate an awful lot,
Yet felt as fit as if we sailed upon an even keel.
But now that I am home again I'm stricken with disgust;
How many pounds of fat I've gained I'd rather not divulge:
Well, anyway I mean to take this tummy down or bust,
So here I'm suet-strafing in the
Battle of the Bulge.
No more will sausage, bacon, eggs provide my breakfast fare;
On lobster I will never lunch, with mounds of mayonnaise.
At tea I'll Spartanly eschew the chocolate éclair;
Roast duckling and péche melba shall not consummate my days.
No more nocturnal ice-box raids, midnight spaghetti feeds;
On slabs of pâté de foie gras I vow I won't indulge:
Let bran and cottage cheese suffice my gastronomic needs,
And lettuce be my ally in the
Battle of the Bulge.
To hell with you, ignoble paunch, abhorrent in my sight!
I gaze at your rotundity, and savage is my frown.
I'll rub you and I'll scrub you and I'll drub you day and night,
But by the gods of symmetry I swear I'll get you down.
Your smooth and smug convexity, by heck! I will subdue,
And when you tucker in again with joy will I refulge;
No longer of my toes will you obstruct my downward view . . .
With might and main I'll fight to gain the
Battle of the Bulge.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Food For Thought
She hid it
but it became clear to her
even as a child
she was obsessed with food-
all the world and her relationships in it-
became things to be tasted;
consumed.
In her twenties she did not date men
she tasted them
and became bored
with them as one becomes
bored with the routine
of every day the same meal;
food was orgasmic to her
in its variety
but too,
this was something she had to hide
because being that way also
had its guilty side;
all day long
she thought about what she would eat
that night
and the next day
or even reliving
a last meal
re-tasting it in her mouth
it all seemed natural to her
because it seemed to her
others seemed to share as well
foods power.
It was a need to take
the outside in
to feel it in her mouth
swallow it down
tongue on texture
then a final act
of it resting inside her
as she digested it,
sometimes bulimically
to assuage guilt
it being hidden heavings
in bathrooms, hers and those
of her friends
but always returning
to the need to fill up the Empty
to feel full
filled
to make it through some nights
eating
to assuage grief
sometimes to celebrate
often late at night secret eating
munching, ingesting
taking in
gorging on
cake and ice cream
chocolate
and potato chips
even beer
or liqueur
with exotic
items like mangos
and papayas
all carefully laid out before her
because she liked the ritual of it
the handing
the smells
the preparations and the cooking;
fork and spoon lifting high
to the altar of her mouth
to her wide lips
resting briefly upon her fiery tongue
to the savoring
the plunging onward
into the alimentary canal
to its final
warm resting place
inside.
And then the guilt
always the guilt
about what she had done
then on to the next day obsession about her weight
the battle of the bulge
of the unwanted thickening sure to come
of the terrifying knowledge
her eating at night
it would show up
decorating her waist line
her hips,
her thighs
crime and punishment come alive
visible for all to see.
She reveled in her pregnancy
eating herself
to 51 additional pounds
and not losing all of them back
despite furious exercise;
ultimately welcoming mother hood
because cooking for her kids kept her in touch
with food
and after all
no mother
was expected to be thin;
and then escalator down
she gradually gave up
food had won
and she knew
that with advancing age
she could not lose back the years.
In despair, kids and husband now gone
she decided that it was not the food she'd been carving
all those years
rather it was a feeling of being filled up
being loved
food was just a poor substitute
And dear reader you ask what then?
She fell in love with a younger man
half her age
and he reciprocated.
the excitement of his loving her
made her feel for the first time in years
love
and gradually over a year
she lost the need for food
as a crutch.
More and more it became
for her a thing past.
Oh she did not suddenly become a size two
but she did become a better her
more energy
and she needed that energy
becoming more and more thrilled
with whom she then was.
And yes, the two did last;
food not so much exiled
as becoming for her
only a once over-indulged
repast
from her past.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Secret Loser
Trapped in a lonely body Im losin control
Cant show my emotions and Im losing my soul
Could it be that Im obsessed with feeding my disease
I couldnt make it know that hidden things that no one sees
Yeah loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
Fighting a losing battle pretending to win
Repenting to holy unknowns pretending to sin
All I do is hide the wounds where blood just wont congeal
Couldnt ever take my soul cos isnt there to steal
Yeah loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
Though Im the loser there is no winner
Theres nothing left to win
The hidden reasons now in deletion
Are lost in sin
So heed my warning the time is dawning
Ill tell you heres the twist
The truth is lying
Below the surface I dont exist
Loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
Seeing is not believing it dont mean a thing
Although it appears to be that the loser is king
I can understand that what you see you think is real
But underneath the surface is a wound that cannot heal
Yeah loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
Loser Im a secret loser
song performed by by Ozzy Osbourne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Fly
It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky
It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight
They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by a moon}
Y' know I don't see you when she walks in the room
It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help
It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else
They say a secret is something you tell another person
So I'm telling you... child
Low Voice:
A man will beg
A man will craw
On the sheer face of love
Like a fly on a wall
It's no secret at all
It's no secret that a conscience can sometimes be a pest
It's no secret ambition bites the nails of success
Every artist is a cannibal
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Secret Place
Words and music by joni mitchell
Im going to take you to
My special place
Its a place that you
Like no one else I know
Might appreciate
I dont go there with anyone--but
Youre a special case
For my special place
For my secret place
People talk to tell you something
Or to take up space
Guess Im only talking
To be talking to
Your pretty face
I dont talk much to anyone--but
Youre a special case
For my special place
My secret place
I was born and raised
In new york city
Im just getting used to colorado--
Oh street bravado
Carry me
Why did you bring me to
A place so wild and pretty?
Are there pigeons in this park--
Muggers after dark--
In these golden trees--
In the secret place?
Im going to take you to
My special place
Its a place no amount of hurt and anger
Can deface
I put things back together there
It all falls right in place--
In my special space
My special place
Once I saw a film
In new york city
That was shot in colorado--
Girl meets desperado
In the trembling mountain trees
Out of all of the girls that you see
In bleachers and cafe windows
Sitting--flirting with someone
Looking to have some fun
Why did you pick me?
For the secret place
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Secret Life Of Arabia
The secret life of arabia
Secret secrets never seen
Secret secrets ever green
I was running at the speed of life
Through mornings thoughts and fantasies
Then I saw your eyes at the cross fades
Secret secrets never seen
Secret secrets ever green
The secret life of arabia
Never here never seen
Secret life ever green
The secret life of arabia
You must see the movie the sand in my eyes
I walk through a desert song when the heroine dies
Arabia (secret secret)
Arabia (secret)
Arabia (secret secret)
Arabia
Arabia (secret secret)
Arabia
Arabia (secret secret)
Arabia
Arabia (secret secret)
Arabia
Arabia (secret secret)
The secret life of arabia
Never here never seen
Secret life ever green
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Little Secret
Verse one (kandi):
Step out my house, one in the morning,
Get in my car, go put it on him.
Park on the other side of the street so that,
Everybody in the hood won't know that.
It's me he's been coming to see,
And we do this every night of the week,
We don't have to talk to each other on the phone,
'cause i know what's up when i hear my beep.
Chorus:
You're my secret,
And that's how we should keep it,
They think so,
And they wanna know,
But they don't really know.
You're my little secret,
And that's how we should keep it,
They think so,
And they wanna know,
But they don't really know about you and me baby.
Verse two (tiny):
If we stop talking for a long time,
It'll be hard to get you off my mind.
'cause i got feelings for you i can't hold back,
I want to but i can't show that.
It's me he keeps coming to see,
And we do this every night of the week,
We don't even talk to each other on the phone,
'cause i know what's up when i hear my beep.
Repeat chorus
Bridge (latocha):
I like to be in the room with you and your girlfriend,
The fact that she don't know turns me on.
And she'll never never guess in a million years,
That we've got this thing going on.
Rap by harlem world:
Now from harlem world to the atl
I got chicks that'll make me yell, make me swell,
Make me tell all the things that i done,
So much playa hating gotta cling to my gun.
But son, it's not a game,
'cause you ain't getting it,
Consider it instead of being inconsiderate,
I use every weapon i choose and get rid of it,
Illeterate cats only getting a little bit.
I play till the day i fall out,
Ball till the day a ball out,
Still feel the rush and brawl out,
Never push the whips and stall out,
People wanna know what it's all 'bout,
But so so and all out,
Never win a small pour out,
Chicks watch our wrists while the crys pour out,
I score 'bout two minutes before i soar out,
Got lear jets and coups looking like a poor house.
Repeat chorus
Break (latocha):
The love that we share stays on my mind,
You're always gonna be a little secret of mine.
The love that we share stays on my mind,
You're always gonna always, gonna be my little secret.
Repeat chorus
song performed by by Xscape
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Little Secret
Verse one (kandi):
Step out my house, one in the morning,
Get in my car, go put it on him.
Park on the other side of the street so that,
Everybody in the hood won't know that.
It's me he's been coming to see,
And we do this every night of the week,
We don't have to talk to each other on the phone,
'cause i know what's up when i hear my beep.
Chorus:
You're my secret,
And that's how we should keep it,
They think so,
And they wanna know,
But they don't really know.
You're my little secret,
And that's how we should keep it,
They think so,
And they wanna know,
But they don't really know about you and me baby.
Verse two (tiny):
If we stop talking for a long time,
It'll be hard to get you off my mind.
'cause i got feelings for you i can't hold back,
I want to but i can't show that.
It's me he keeps coming to see,
And we do this every night of the week,
We don't even talk to each other on the phone,
'cause i know what's up when i hear my beep.
Repeat chorus
Bridge (latocha):
I like to be in the room with you and your girlfriend,
The fact that she don't know turns me on.
And she'll never never guess in a million years,
That we've got this thing going on.
Rap by harlem world:
Now from harlem world to the atl
I got chicks that'll make me yell, make me swell,
Make me tell all the things that i done,
So much playa hating gotta cling to my gun.
But son, it's not a game,
'cause you ain't getting it,
Consider it instead of being inconsiderate,
I use every weapon i choose and get rid of it,
Illeterate cats only getting a little bit.
I play till the day i fall out,
Ball till the day a ball out,
Still feel the rush and brawl out,
Never push the whips and stall out,
People wanna know what it's all 'bout,
But so so and all out,
Never win a small pour out,
Chicks watch our wrists while the crys pour out,
I score 'bout two minutes before i soar out,
Got lear jets and coups looking like a poor house.
Repeat chorus
Break (latocha):
The love that we share stays on my mind,
You're always gonna be a little secret of mine.
The love that we share stays on my mind,
You're always gonna always, gonna be my little secret.
Repeat chorus
song performed by by Xscape
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The main thing is healthy eating, exercise, which I do for special events, like if it's Sports Illustrated, or the swim suit catalogue for Victoria's Secret, or my own calendar that I did for the year 2000.
quote by Heidi Klum
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skrying
This puzzles dead inside
Missing pieces growing eyes,
Mystery
Little girls severity,
Little boys begging mercy
Sticks break on me
Cost of life at 23
Price of pain a broken ring
All crimson
Melting body rubber world
Battle axe with locks of curls
Introverted
My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
Remember that place
The place you would go to make things okay,
1000 points for insect stings,
Glue my spirit, break my wings,
Misery
Libido steams infectious whore,
Cauterize and forge the sword,
Remember killing.
Children, learning the secret knock, a nickel
To enter that place,
The place you would go to make things okay,
My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
Remember that place
The place you would go to take pain away,
Games of passion taste so sweet
Cut his throat and slaughter meat,
My secrets.
Seven heads for seven seas,
Darkened voices plead disease
Dismembering me
Children, wrestle to seal the bag, storing it deep
In that place,
The place you would go and try to escape
Children, learning the secret knock, a nickel
To enter that place,
The place you would go to make things okay,
My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
Remember that place
The place you would go to take pain away,
Skrying through reflections in a pool,
I see death coming, mowing down,
Do you remember the bedroom,
Was it your cell or was it your tomb,
Youre living through my hell
Children, learning the secret knock, a nickel
To enter that place,
The place you would go to make things okay,
My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
Remember that place
The place you would go to take pain away
song performed by by Mudvayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can't get rid of it with exercise alone. You can do the most vigorous exercise and only burn up 300 calories in an hour. If you've got fat on your body, the exercise firms and tones the muscles. But when you use that tape measure, what makes it bigger? It's the fat!
quote by Jack LaLanne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Syrup Sponge
Pour a pint of cream
Upon my spongy bulge!
Scoop me with a
Hefty spoon;
Taste my essence -
Do you swoon?
Feed your self-esteem; indulge
In me until you burst -
Death by syrup sponge - you're cursed!
And as the count in inches gain
Upon your weary waist, the strain
Will tell, but you'll not care -
Steeped in sponge, you're unaware!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food
food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Secret Heart
Thanks to [email protected] for these lyrics.
Secret heart what are you made of?
What are you so afraid of?
Could it be three simple words
Or the fear of being overheard
What's wrong?
Let her in on your secret heart
Secret heart, why so mysterious?
Why so secret, why so serious?
Maybe you're just acting tough
Maybe you're just not bad enough
What's wrong?
Let her in on your secret heart
(Bridge) 2x
This very secret you're trying to conceal
Is the very same one you're dying to reveal
Go tell her how you feel
Secret heart come out and share it
This loneliness, few can bear it
Could it have something to do with
Admitting that you just can't
Go through it alone?
Let her in on your secret heart
Let her in on your secret heart
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Red Bowling Ball Ruth
well pay attention
attention to my words
I love you
I don't know what you heard
and this fire
has got to go for sure
red bowling ball
red bowling ball ruth
well that's something
then I shall know the truth
I said you roll it
and then it breaks your tooth
[?]
[?] the wrong town
I love this girl
so hell shall come around
and you leavin'
will be the only sound
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Secret
Girl I got a secret
See if you can guess
Put your heart into the
problem
See if you can pass the
test
Can you see it?
It's a natural occurence
1+1 makes 2
If I've been acting crazy that's
Just one more clue
When I see you
Oh, feel you start to shake ?
Do a double take
Didja get it yet,
get it yet
get it yet
Oooh my secret
Ooh sparks begin to fly
Lightening in the sky
Didja get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
My secret
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
get it
get it yet
Girl there aint much time
So move a little closer
Put your hand in mine
Can you feel it?
I'll try to make it easy
Even knock it out
Before the night is over
There will be no doubt
You'll find out
Fell ya start to shake
Do a double take
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
get it yet
Ooh my secret
Ooh sparks begin to fly
Lightening in the sky
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
get it yet
My secret
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
Didja get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
get it
get it
get it yet
Come on girl
You only got three
Guesses and you're not
even close
Ooh now you're getting warmer
Ooh now you're hot
Ooh feel ya start to shake
I do a double take
Didja get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
Ooh my secret
Ooh sparks begin to fly
Lightening in the sky
Didja get it
get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
My secret
Ooh feel ya start to shake
i do a double take
Didja get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
Ooh my secret
Sparks begin to fly
Lightning from the sky
Didja get it yet
My secret
Ooh feel ya start to shake
i do a double take
Didja get it yet
get it yet
get it yet
Ooh my secret
Sparks begin to fly
Lightning from the sky
Didja get it yet
My secret
song performed by by New Edition
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's Not What You Think
Lee Thompson Young: Well saving is the game,
Silverstone is the name... Secret Agent Status...
Day starts early and he's on the move
He has to have breakfast in his dressing room
Knock, knock 5 minutes to chew
Go to make up then it's time to hear,
Take 1, take 2 everybody's telling him what to do
It's a great big price to pay to be the man
So listen to what I have to say
It's not what you think when you see him roll
In the limo down the street baby you should know
That everything that glitters..it ain't gold.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
It's not what you think cuz when he's all alone
Reminices 'bout the past and he finds himself
Trying to go back home.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
He thinks about what he used to be back home
Everything was quiet, nothing really going on
Talking to his peeps on the telephone
Now his life has changed nothing is the same
He took it to the next level, now he's gotta keep it all together
It's not what you think when you see him roll
In the limo down the street baby you should know
That everything that glitters..it ain't gold.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
It's not what you think cuz when he's all alone
Reminices 'bout the past and he finds himself
Trying to go back home.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
(RAP) Silverstone is the code name
and if saving the world was a basketball game
only the stakes were higher
The only difference between me and MJ would be that I haven't yet retired
(still in the game)
Articles and track team the way that I inspire
Villans and thugs for hire to run like somebody set their socks on fire
Evil doers know by now to say,"aww man he's cocked his eyebrow
This cat's about to say goodbye now find a place to lie down
Duck and cover cuz he's sharper than a diamond cutter
Slicker than a stick of butter",
But even the best of the best can't work alone
So as far as sidekicks go Hawk's is one of the nicest and
Artimus supplies us with expensive and high tech devices
But in comparison my lop-sided grin is still priceless
The best secret agent that mankind knows...it's no mystery
It's not what you think when you see him roll
In the limo down the street baby you should know
That everything that glitters..it ain't gold.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
It's not what you think cuz when he's all alone
Reminices 'bout the past and he finds himself
Trying to go back home.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
It's not what you think when you see him roll
In the limo down the street baby you should know
That everything that glitters..it ain't gold.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson)
It's not what you think cuz when he's all alone
Reminices 'bout the past and he finds himself
Trying to go back home.
(he's the famous Jett Jackson
song performed by by Youngstown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mrs. Sibley
The secret of the stars, -- gravitation.
The secret of the earth, -- layers of rock.
The secret of the soil, -- to receive seed.
The secret of the seed, -- the germ.
The secret of man, -- the sower.
The secret of woman, -- the soil.
My secret: Under a mound that you shall never find.
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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No Secret Friend
I have a secret friend
No it's not what you think
My friend's not a secret
Nor is the secrets he keeps
You see he keeps his heart
On the table with me
But the rest of the world
It's secrets they see
My no secret friend
wears a joker's mask
But I can see the truth
the real, the past
My no secret friend says
his intentions are true
My no secret friend says
he has feelings for me
Does my no secret friend
have secret desires
Time will tell but till then
this moment is ours
poem by Patti Wilburn
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Exercise It
Exercise the will to succeed
The will can successfully enjoy itself.
Exercise the mind to proceed
The brain has much in procedure.
Exercise the body and to bleed
Inside the layers of itself.
Exercise again and again, indeed
To enliven the soul for its task.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I've Found The Secret
I've found the secret.
It's not hidden anymore.
But I must hide it
like it was before.
It needs to be hidden.
For it is forbidden.
I know the secret.
But I'll keep it still.
I must never divulge it.
It must never spill
into the mind of anyone
to let their peace come undone.
I hate the secret
for it ruins my sleep.
But the secret is mine,
mine to keep.
The secret I know
can be yours.
If you find it
it will open all doors.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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