I was completely nuts for most of my life.
quote by Roseanne Barr

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
You Must Be Nuts? You've Got To Be!
You 'must' be nuts?
You've got to be!
You are telling me,
I can not have...
What has been given,
To my brothers and sisters...
Whether or not they had asked for it?
And this has been done,
IN my presence to disregard my loyalty?
You must be nuts?
You've got to be!
Not only am I going to have what I want...
But I am also going to remind you,
Once I get it...
Just what I think of your acts,
Of attempting to prevent me...
From not having the kind of life,
To do as I please!
You must be nuts?
You've got to be!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We Just Go Nuts At Christmastime
Up the driveway, down the walk
Oh, janets hair is like her moms
Whos got her own, but acts like somethings
Different from the eyebrows up
Seems like only yesterday
Our d-i-v-o-r-c-e
I love you both and yuletide is pure
H-e-double-l for me
And we just go nuts at christmastime
Thats when everything falls apart
We just go nuts at christmastime
But its another year before were together again
Hi, this is john of they might be giants
As youre driving down the highway at 100 miles an hour with your head wagging out the window,
We urge you, please, put down the phone
We just go nuts at christmastime
Thats when everything falls apart
We just go nuts at christmastime
But its another year before were together
Again
song performed by by They Might Be Giants

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bitchin Again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me crazy
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me nuts
I thought you said
Youd bring home the groceries
I thought you said youd fill up the tank
I thought you said youd pull out for me
A hundred-fifty dollars from the bank
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me crazy
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me crazy
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me nuts
I thought you said
Youd bring me some flowers
You came home with nothing
You dirty rat fink
I thought you said youd
Clean up the living room
You said youd do the dishes in the sink
Im sick and tired of your childish behavior
Youre always coming home completely soused
Im sick and tired of this shoebox apartment
When are you going to buy me a house?
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me crazy
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me nuts
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me crazy
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again
Shes bitchin again drivin me nuts
song performed by by Phish

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think Elaine would go out with anyone if they showed interest in her. She's nuts. The woman's nuts.
quote by Julia Louis Dreyfus

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All You Ever Needed
( you got me wrong, completely wrong
You got me wrong, completely wrong )
I hope youre happy where you are
Youve been heading there for some time
Itsnot like you to complain
But then its not like you imagined
Life has changed but you shouldnt do
Ill remain the same around you
Dont be blind, look where youre coming from
Its all you ever needed
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
You ll find fault with me warning you
Advice you should have heeded
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
( you got me wrong, completely wrong completely wrong )
Over time you can find a way
Stop looking out for some sign
Theres a place now where you belong
Just to make it right in your mind
Im just trying to make you see
Youre the only one you have to be
Dont be blind, look where youre coming from
Its all you ever needed
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
You ll find fault with me warning you
Advice you should have heeded
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
( you got me wrong, completely wrong completely wrong )
Life has changed but you shouldnt do
Ill remain the same around you
( you got me wrong, completely wrong completely wrong )
You ll find fault with me warning you
Advice you should have heeded
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
Dont be blind, look where youre coming from
Its all you ever needed
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
You ll find fault with me warning you
Advice you should have heeded
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
( you got me wrong, completely wrong )
( you got me wrong, completely wrong ) ...
song performed by by Olive

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Masquerading As a Fool
'You are mad! '
No!
I am insane.
And I reserve the right
To change my mind...
Since I recognized that
Long before your compliment.
Plus...
I am completely at peace with it!
No need to continue,
With your 'show and tell' endeavors.
Unless it provides you with a sense of comfort?
And I will not tell anyone...
Your masquerading as a fool,
Is purely for survival purposes!
So...
Go ahead!
Who else is 'nuts'?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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So Small Is One Pea
So small is one pea,
When it is in a soup with nuts.
To distinguish it as being insignificant,
Would depend on who valued the adding of it...
Had something to do with the enhancement of the flavor.
And without the addition of just that one pea,
Would the attention given to the nuts...
Be then diminished?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile.
quote by Julie Burchill

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For My Lady
My boat sails stormy seas
Battles oceans filled with tears
At last my ports in view
Now that Ive discovered you
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
As life goes drifting by
Like a breeze shell gently sigh
And slowly bow her head
Then youll hear her softly cry.
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
Words that you say when were alone
Though actions speak louder than words
But all I can say is I love you so
To drive away all my hurt
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
Set sail before the sun
Feel the warmth thats just begun
Share each and every dream
They belong to everyone.
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
song performed by by Moody Blues

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If your company has a clean-desk policy, the company is nuts and you're nuts to stay there.
quote by Tom Peters

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Prince William And His New Wife
Could we send an invite to Prince William and his new wife?
To maybe come to Canada and be our king and queen for life,
I know we could and should but do our politicians have the guts?
They might even look at this idea as completely nuts.
Or are we too politically correct to think about this?
I realize we don’t have binding referendums like the Swiss,
We don’t even have recall or proportional representation,
But we need something to give a boost to our Canadian nation.
But radical ideas out of the norm are not allowed,
And less than half Canadians even vote but still feel proud,
This is just an idea right now but worthy of thought,
A helicopter king with his queen and so we ought.
Jan 14th 2011
poem by James Bredin

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Deaths Notice
When someone dies
And no one takes notice
All alone.
Crawling deep inside
The last fight.
This is your life.
And no one even sees you.
Completely invisible.
Completely miserable.
Completely insufferable.
No one to blame.
No one to hate.
Put upon the stake.
The nails go in.
First the hands then the feet.
It is the ultimate defeat.
Falling down to never look back up.
Their all gone.
The calm before the storm.
An angel raises her head and says 'oh where is all the love I felt? '
Then she disappears.
A life given up on so early.
And no one even blinks an eye or says good bye.
It is a horrible way to die.
The certificate says so.
A linage totally forgotten.
Erased except for a piece of paper.
They tried the best save her.
But sometimes your just too late.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

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In most conventional novels, God is not allowed to be nuts. Nor are nuts allowed to be God.
quote by John Sladek

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Squirrel
Here I am, I’m the squirrel!
I store nuts in a hole,
Before it gets too cold.
I scurry from tree to tree,
Collecting all the nuts that be.
I put them in holes near and far,
So that I forget where many are!
Look up at me and I’ll give you some cheek,
Then run up a branch without a creak.
Some probably think I am a nut,
Burying like I have no head, but;
God made me,
And that is just who I will be.
See me here, see me there,
I’m everywhere!
I’m the squirrel!
poem by Joses Tirtabudi

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Remebering The Never Again
bring me in
let me in
I'll promise to defend for everything that's been given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood and guts
hello my friend
the demon have come to me
they made whispers louder then thunder
they told me i better not make another blunder
or my fun would be over
bring me in
let me in
I'll promise to promise to defend for everything was given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood and guts
hello again
I'm going to try to mend somethings
over and over again
i kneel down
just to feel something so real
a kiss goodnight
and the rooms goes dark
i shut the door
never to venture back anymore
bring me in
let me in
I'll promise to defend everything that was given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood and guts
hello for the last time
i guess things have changed
and that's fine
i really don't mind
kind as you are
your still to far
your picture i have captured in a jar
forever embedded in my jagged memories
bring me in
let me in
ill promise to defend everything that was given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood guts
but its finally over
over oh over
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

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Nana Yaa, Wisdom Is A tree Of Life!
Stories are completely true or completely false!
And like the first edition and the last edition;
But we are mixed up with history as we grow up.
Nana Yaa, wisdom is a tree of life!
And the pleasure of life and the joy of it that we shared was,
All about the true-love between you and i! !
poem by Edward Kofi Louis

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Tired of Nuts
If by birth I was a squirrel
With dreams someday I'd speak.
I would not spend time
Jumping from tree to tree
Or staring at birds searching worms
Pecked from the ground and pulled with beaks.
I'd gather all my nuts to munch,
And practice vowels from a branch...
'A-E-I-O-U' I'd do,
Adopting fresh skills to enhance!
And I would do this out loud, of course...
To keep stunned squirrels aware,
I had heights I wanted to achieve
And sights other than nuts to bite...
Before the season dropped their leaves from trees!
And visions of speeches,
To prepare and teach...
More squirrels I knew who grew tired of nuts,
Too close without a challenge to reach.
And 'that' I would suspect from a hunch!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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The Am I Nuts Test
Before taking The Am I Nuts Test,
Do your best to be objective and prepared...
To declare 'yourself',
As crazy as a bed bug!
Why declare this?
It will be easier to take the test,
With the acknowledgement...
There had been someone who picked on a bed bug,
To proclaim and announce it crazy.
Okay?
Now you should feel open to accept,
All possibilities.
First...
Have you ever discovered yourself quick to deny,
Anything?
Think about this and be honest.
Second...
Are you afraid to be critiqued?
For any physical flaws and blemishes you keep?
Third...
Do you seek to mask your insecurities?
With a pointing out those of others...
As you desperately try to secretly hide,
Those of your own that are hidden deep?
Fourth...
Do you get up each morning,
With wishes to find someone to impress.
Without first expressing a thankfulness for your blessings?
Do you find a need to rehearse this first?
Fifth...
Are you envious and jealous,
Of those addressing with confidence their identities?
Does this irritate you to no end?
And you are convinced,
They actually are trying to run away...
From their strange and differentness.
Do you feel people like this pretend?
And you remain one of the few...
Who advocate a 'normalcy' wishing others to approve?
Well...
You 'are' nuts!
And there is no need to have the results discussed.
If you believe others are out of their minds,
With a few like you being 'normal'.
And no evidence around you to validate and find.
You 'are' nuts and out of your mind.
No one today is normal.
'What makes you qualified to administer a test like this? '
Long ago I was confirmed as being dysfunctional.
And I resisted this refusing to admit it.
But today those dysfunctional,
Seem to be the ones left who have common sense.
'So...
You too are nuts? '
No.
My preference is to stay,
As dysfunctional for as long as I can.
I find to admit it makes me more marketable.
To discover someone is nuts,
Puts a limit to their opportunities.
And...
To debate with someone about the mentalities of bed bugs,
Is way out of my league.
I enjoy my life lived as simple as possible.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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The Problem between the In-Laws
Whether the experienced mother-in-law
or the newly qualified daughter-in-law,
both of them suffer from some cursed flaws.
As the cold war started since 'Creation'
has never ended between 'mother and wife'
the dude tries his best to convince them both.
He has to cock his ear towards the side
from which the whispers he hears
or else all of them have to be on fast.
If he colludes with one,
the other will go to hell.
If they play cat and mouse
what can this man do with feigning creatures?
His wife would conceal the healthy nuts
and at night before her husband, would ask:
' Why didn't you eat the Cashew nuts? '
and his mother would smirk and say:
'You youngones must eat the nuts to live long! '.
Each one surpasses the other in concocting
stories of joint and hip pain to evade the work
and confine him to do the household chores.
His wife blockmail him citing anti-dowry laws
and his mother warns him not to be hen-pecked.
He condones even his wife's misbehaviour of the past
to maintain peace in family life.
His child doesn't know where to go
between the mother and grandmother.
He trots in a 'Push and Pull' game
and the man should keep his doors shut in shame.
------
poem by Rajendran Muthiah

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Week In Week Out
IIs there something more?
Surely there must be
You can't lose everything
So you're quite happy
To live with nothing more
Than a life-long shopping list
You tick off on credit
Well you'll pay for it
Week in and week out
Your lucky charms will always let you down
Maybe next week, we'll see
Maybe
You stand in life completely still
Feel really truly unfulfilled
Week in week out
Where are you going to turn?
When all ambition fails?
Why try any more
If human nature's stale?
Invite the hand of God
To touch the lucky few
There's no such thing as God
Nor easy money too?
Week in and week out
These lucky charms will always let you down
Maybe next week, we'll see
Maybe
You stand in life completely still
Feel really truly unfulfilled
Week in week out
Week in and week out
Your lucky charms will always let you down
Maybe next week, we'll see
Maybe
You stand in life completely still
Feel really truly unfulfilled
Week in week out
song performed by by Ordinary Boys

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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