The devil will let a preacher prepare a sermon if it will keep him from preparing himself.
quote by Vance Havner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Preacher Needs More Ram
I took the modem off the podium...
Just before the preacher sneezed!
I asked a doctor in a pew...
If the sneeze would spread disease?
And Doctor Blye looked in my eyes,
As if I was there for church.
I looked him up and down and said,
'I am here doing research! '
I came to hook the preacher up,
To a new connection!
He wanted all his emails sent...
And downloaded to the chatrooms.
I came to hook the PC up for online sessions!
But the preacher is displeased...
'Cause the modem seems to need,
More ram!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
I came to hook the preacher up,
To a new connection!
He wanted all his emails sent...
And downloaded to the chatrooms.
I came to hook the PC up for online sessions!
But the preacher is displeased...
'Cause the modem seems to need,
More ram!
oh Oh OHHH....
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet...
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Ahhhhaaaayyy
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
What do I do with the modem?
What do I do with the modem?
What do I do with the modem?
'Reverand Heath?
I recommend a live video hookup as well!
I think you will touch a lot of people.
I found myself 'slightly' involved.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Preaching is effective as long as the preacher expects something to happen-not because of the sermon, not even because of the preacher, but because of God.
quote by John E. Hines
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's a fine sermon about fasting when the preacher just had lunch.
It is a poor sermon that gives no offense; that neither makes the hearer displeased with himself nor with the preacher.
quote by George Whitefield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Preacher Boy
Jeanne burns / billie holiday
He was lanky and tall as a beanpole
And he wind fanned my heart to a flame
As he looked to the sky
And theres no wonder why
For preacher boy was his name
With his old yaller dog there beside him
And his eyes throwin sparks in the sun
I grew faint from the heat
From my heart to my feet
When I knew preacher boy was the one
Then he didnt say much
Hes the silent kind
But his arms were strong
Just the same as his mind
And my knees grew weak
As I clung to him
My preacher boy, my preacher boy
But he heard the call
Now hes left me
For his faith was stronger than i
And thought we are apart
Yet hes still in my heart
My preacher boy, my preacher boy
My wonderful preacher boy
song performed by by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Preparing To Fly
Im preparing to fly
Under my own steam
Im preparing to fly
Into a dream
Im in love all over again
Im head over heels
I cant even begin
To tell you how it feels
She lives on a rock
Surrounded by light
Shes young and shes wild
And shes treating me right
Im preparing to fly
Under my own steam
Im preparing to fly
Into a dream
I shed some light
I change my address
I havent felt so great
Since I first went west
Ive got brilliant intentions
Unthinkable plans
Ive got sparks and electric shocks
Just exploding from my hands
Im preparing to fly
Under my own steam
Im preparing to fly
Into a dream
Im back in the saddle
Im out in the clear
I got no regrets
Ive got nothing to fear
Ive battled my demons
Come out on top
Im gonna love you as hard as I can
Never gonna stop
Im preparing to fly
Under my own steam
Im preparing to fly
Into a dream
song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
quote by Benjamin Franklin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Grounding
'and in he came with the sunshine, making my whole
world light up and every hour, every day, every month
was like a moment filled with joy and peace…..and I sat upon
the ground and gave praise, praise to the Lord …..' exclaimed
the preacher.
The boy at the back of the great hall sat quietly, busily picking his
nose, all the time contemplating which one of the girls
two plaits to cut off with the big red scissors he'd taken
earlier that day from his teachers desk.
'Amen' said the preacher.
'Amen' said the congregation.
'Amen' muttered the boy with the girls plait in
his grubby little hand.
and so endeth the sermon for that day.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lie Of All Lies
SOME YOUNG LADS SAT CHATTING MERRILY AND NOISILY WHEN A REVEREND PREACHER WALKED BY AND HE SAID TO THEM, WHAT BE THE CAUSE FOR THY NOISY CHATTER? HE ASKED AND THE CHILDREN REPLIED SAYING, PREACHER, WE HAVE PUT UP OUR SAVINGS FOR A WAGER! HE AMONGST US WHO TELLS THE GREATEST LIE WILL WIN THE WHOLE MONEY! THE PREACHER FROWNED AND SAID, LISTEN BOYS! IT IS NOT A GOOD THING TO TELL LIES! TAKE ME AS AN EXAMPLE! I HAVE NEVER TOLD A LIE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! STATED THE PREACHER! AND THE BOYS QUICKLY GOT UP, PACKED UP THE COINS ON THE FLOOR AND HANDED IT TO THE PREACHER SAYING, YOU WIN SIR! YOURS WAS THE BIGGEST LIE WE HAVE EVER HEARD!
poem by Overlord Don Manuel Ihcakeyno
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Son Of A Preacher Man
(john hurley / ronnie wilkins)
Billy-ray was a preachers son
And when his daddy would visit hed come along
When they gathered round and started talkin
Thats when billy would take me walkin
A-through the back yard wed go walkin
Then hed look into my eyes
Lord knows to my surprise
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, mmm, yes he was
Being good isnt always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin to me
Hed come and tell me everything is all right
Hed kiss and tell me everything is all right
Can I get away again tonight?
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, lord knows he was
How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes
Stealin kisses from me on the sly
Takin time to make time
Tellin me that hes all mine
Learnin from each others knowing
Lookin to see how much weve grown
And the only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, oh, yes he was
He was the sweet-talking son of a preacher man
I guessed he was the son of a preacher man
Sweet-lovin son of a preacher man
Ahh, move me
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A War Song to Englishmen
Prepare, prepare the iron helm of war,
Bring forth the lots, cast in the spacious orb;
Th' Angel of Fate turns them with mighty hands,
And casts them out upon the darken'd earth!
Prepare, prepare!
Prepare your hearts for Death's cold hand! prepare
Your souls for flight, your bodies for the earth;
Prepare your arms for glorious victory;
Prepare your eyes to meet a holy God!
Prepare, prepare!
Whose fatal scroll is that? Methinks 'tis mine!
Why sinks my heart, why faltereth my tongue?
Had I three lives, I'd die in such a cause,
And rise, with ghosts, over the well-fought field.
Prepare, prepare!
The arrows of Almighty God are drawn!
Angels of Death stand in the louring heavens!
Thousands of souls must seek the realms of light,
And walk together on the clouds of heaven!
Prepare, prepare!
Soldiers, prepare! Our cause is Heaven's cause;
Soldiers, prepare! Be worthy of our cause:
Prepare to meet our fathers in the sky:
Prepare, O troops, that are to fall to-day!
Prepare, prepare!
Alfred shall smile, and make his harp rejoice;
The Norman William, and the learnèd Clerk,
And Lion Heart, and black-brow'd Edward, with
His loyal queen, shall rise, and welcome us!
Prepare, prepare!
poem by William Blake
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The best sermon is preached by the minister who has a sermon to preach and not by the man who has to preach a sermon.
quote by William Feather
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ich Glaub Nicht An Den Himmel
I don’t believe in Heaven,
Whose peace the preacher cites:
I only trust your eyes now,
They’re my heavenly lights.
I don’t believe in God above,
Who gets the preacher’s nod:
I only trust your heart now,
And have no other god.
I don’t believe in Devils,
In hell or hell’s black art:
I only trust your eyes now,
And your devil’s heart.
poem by Heinrich Heine
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Some think that by preparing to deal with crises you make them more likely. I think the wiser judgment is the contrary. In this area at least, if you want peace or stability, it's better to prepare for war or instability.
quote by Timothy Geithner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Good Sermon
A good sermon should be like
A miniskirt:
Short enough to arouse interest
But long enough to cover the essentials.
Okay, seal my lips
Since silence is the only statement
That has zero misquote
Please this is not blasphemy
Forgive I if it is
Am I lost?
This's a message to
Him or her who hold
A position to address
Hear me say
A GIANT SERMON
Doesn't raise more converts
Neither does it make you a saint
Stick to this:
A GOOD SERMON!
poem by Buyunde Acura Sylivester
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Daddy Was An Old Time Preacher Man
(Dolly Parton)
Daddy was an old time preacher man
He preacher the word of God throughout the land
He preached so plain a child could understand
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
He told the people of he need to pray
He talked about God's wrath and judgement day
He preached about the great eternity
He preached hell so hot that you could feel the heat
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
Aunt Leanona would get up to testify
And we'd sing "In The Sweet By And By"
The we'd sing "I'm On My Way To Canaan Land"
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
Revivals and camp meetings went for weeks
Folks came from all around to hear him preach
Daddy said if one is saved it's worth it all
But the aisles were always filled at altar calls
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
Daddy worked for God but asked for no pay
For he believed that God provides a way
We never had a lot but we got by
Guess it's 'cause the Lord was on Daddy's side
Yes, Daddy was an old time preacher man
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Preacher Man
(Gary Rossington-Johnny Van Zant-Rickey Medlocke-Hughie Thomasson)
You know i'm dirty because it's in me
Life's not easy
And it's the heart that i won't change
I wouldn't be the same
You see me one day and then the next day
I don't wanna play
I'm not the same dog you have known
It's not written in stone
Well am i right or wrong
Lookin' out for number one
I never stay too long
I'm there and then i'm gone
I'm not the preacher man
Oh can you understand
It's a game of win or lose
I've got an evil eye
You know sometimes i might lie
Oh i'm not the preacher man
Yeah-Yeah-Yeah
Saint was a sinner
Ain't he a winner
And did you hear him say
I didn't lie just as well
It's all in the head
Oh ain't it funny
How little money
Cheap talkin' honey
Can turn a sunny day to gray
Well am i right or wrong
Lookin' out for number one
I never stay too long
I'm there and then i'm gone
I'm not the preacher man
Oh can you understand
It's a game of win or lose
I've got an evil eye
You know sometimes i might lie
Oh i'm not the preacher man
Aah aah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Aah aah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
I'm not the preacher man
Oh can you understand
It's a game of win or lose
I got an evil eye
You know sometimes i might lie
Oh i'm not the preacher man
I'm not the preacher man
Oh can you understand
It's a game of win or lose
I got an evil eye
You know sometimes i might lie
Oh i'm not the preacher man
Aah aah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Aah aah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I had only one sermon to preach it would be a sermon against pride.
quote by Gilbert K. Chesterton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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