A Good Sermon
A good sermon should be like
A miniskirt:
Short enough to arouse interest
But long enough to cover the essentials.
Okay, seal my lips
Since silence is the only statement
That has zero misquote
Please this is not blasphemy
Forgive I if it is
Am I lost?
This's a message to
Him or her who hold
A position to address
Hear me say
A GIANT SERMON
Doesn't raise more converts
Neither does it make you a saint
Stick to this:
A GOOD SERMON!
poem by Buyunde Acura Sylivester
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
quote by Ronald Knox
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The best sermon is preached by the minister who has a sermon to preach and not by the man who has to preach a sermon.
quote by William Feather
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I had only one sermon to preach it would be a sermon against pride.
quote by Gilbert K. Chesterton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Little Christmas Basket
De win' is hollahin' 'Daih you' to de shuttahs an' de fiah,
De snow's a-sayin' 'Got you' to de groun',
Fu' de wintah weathah 's come widout a-askin' ouah desiah,
An' he 's laughin' in his sleeve at whut he foun';
Fu' dey ain't nobody ready wid dey fuel er dey food,
An' de money bag look timid lak, fu' sho',
So we want ouah Chrismus sermon, but we 'd lak it ef you could
Leave a little Chrismus basket at de do'.
Wha 's de use o' tellin' chillen 'bout a Santy er a Nick,
An' de sto'ies dat a body allus tol'?
When de harf is gray wid ashes an' you has n't got a stick
Fu' to warm dem when dey little toes is col'?
Wha 's de use o' preachin' 'ligion to a man dat's sta'ved to def,
An' a-tellin' him de Mastah will pu'vide?
Ef you want to tech his feelin's, save yo' sermons an' yo' bref,
Tek a little Chrismus basket by yo' side.
'T ain't de time to open Bibles an' to lock yo' cellah do',
'T ain't de time to talk o' bein' good to men;
Ef you want to preach a sermon ez you nevah preached befo',
Preach dat sermon wid a shoat er wid er hen;
Bein' good is heap sight bettah den a-dallyin' wid sin,
An' dey ain't nobody roun' dat knows it mo',
But I t'ink dat 'ligion 's sweeter w'en it kind o' mixes in
Wid a little Chrismus basket at de do'.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
quote by George Burns
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning anf a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.
quote by George Burns
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never preach a sermon without a text from the Bible, a text containing the theme which you can elaborate. The text is the best proof in support of your argument. A sermon without a text is an argument without a proof.
quote by Isaac Mayer Wise
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A good ad should be like a good sermon: It must not only comfort the afflicted, it also must afflict the comfortable.
quote by Bernice Fitz-Gibbon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Preacher Needs More Ram
I took the modem off the podium...
Just before the preacher sneezed!
I asked a doctor in a pew...
If the sneeze would spread disease?
And Doctor Blye looked in my eyes,
As if I was there for church.
I looked him up and down and said,
'I am here doing research! '
I came to hook the preacher up,
To a new connection!
He wanted all his emails sent...
And downloaded to the chatrooms.
I came to hook the PC up for online sessions!
But the preacher is displeased...
'Cause the modem seems to need,
More ram!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
I came to hook the preacher up,
To a new connection!
He wanted all his emails sent...
And downloaded to the chatrooms.
I came to hook the PC up for online sessions!
But the preacher is displeased...
'Cause the modem seems to need,
More ram!
oh Oh OHHH....
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet...
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Ahhhhaaaayyy
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!
I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?
What do I do with the modem?
What do I do with the modem?
What do I do with the modem?
'Reverand Heath?
I recommend a live video hookup as well!
I think you will touch a lot of people.
I found myself 'slightly' involved.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Experience, The Best Teacher
When I was a student,
Many a teacher preached a sermon.
A sermon of, surprisingly, same subject.
This tedious theme could be thus summarized:
‘ if I could my student life re-live,
Very differently would I behave'.
A discourse denoting a dirge
A communication connoting a caution
If not a counselling to student who have ears
Students who would not shed tears,
Because they have ears to hear
And wise enough to understand,
Words of wisdom, even few.
But why to us their sermon relate?
Why to us their stories declare?
It is because about our future they care.
Careful, concerned and committed teachers,
Eager their experience to share,
Aware of the facts, glaring,
Facts preserved in an axiom,
The often quoted and tested maxim,
That experience is the best teacher.
Experience is the best teacher,
To those without any experience,
The best teacher is experience shared.
Shared by fair and frank fellows,
Who When good opportunities
Came beggarly begging,
Refused to these opportunities utilise,
Reaping the result of their recklessness, fully
Learning first-hand from their folly,
That opportunity knocks but once,
And once unutilised is lost forever.
But shared experiences meticulously applied,
Will save one the superfluous suffering,
Subsequent from the silly slip-up,
Of turning deaf ears to sermons.
Signifying that total respect to advice,
Plays a crucial role in molding us,
And goes to lend credence
To the usually used saw, that
Experience is the best teacher.
poem by Emmanuel Oduro
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sunday Morning
Sunday morning silence, curtain stay closed late
No one thinks of kitchens mornings in a filthy state
Dishes cups and beer stains, ashtrays on the floor
Sunday morning papers are left outside the front door
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
(sunday, bloody sunday rest)
Glass of fizzy water helps to start the day
Sit and listen to sunday silence, problems fade away
Sunday cars and drivers break the morning air
Uncollected milk outside reveals theres no one there
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
Bathrobes hang in waiting, windows steaming up
Somewhere in the sink downstairs lies an unwashed cup
Tea and toast for breakfast clear away the plates
Wash-up prepare for cooking sunday lunch awaits
Sunday lunch awaits
Sunday lunch awaits
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Normal Day At My Church
I woke up this morning
grey clouds covered the sky;
no rain clouds there,
no sunshine neither.
Just the beginning of a cloudy day.
It wasn’t cold nor hot,
but just comfortable.
Being Sunday, it was quiet too.
I had already written my sermon the night before
and a short prayer to accompany it.
We had our service in the fresh air
in the middle of the street.
The town Marshals guarding either end
so no one could get away.
They were allowed to let people in,
but to prevent others escaping.
A captive audience you could say.
It wasn’t a big crowd,
but just big enough.
As we sang I See The Light,
someone threw some pretend sticks of dynamite at my feet.
Now had they been real
I would have seen the light
and been floating around
where the angels sing.
As it was only pretend,
I reached down,
picked it up, and handed it back
to the joker that threw it in.
The service went off quite peaceful after that.
Happily, I can say the service went quite well
and everyone enjoyed the message of friendship
that it conveyed.
Although I am only a pretend Preacher
and not a real one.
My sermons always try to relay a message
in how we can better our lives.
If only one good thing comes out
from what I say, t
hen I honestly believe
that I’ve had a good day.
The positive reaction
is when they go away,
telling their friend
they went to a good service today.
I will always get the joker
who will make people laugh
while they are trying to sing a hymn.
It doesn’t deter me
to get my message through.
The message is very simple,
we need to love everyone
no matter what they have done
and always keep a smile on our face
to brighten up each day.
If we keep that message in mind
then less troubles we will have
and always outstretch
our hand of friendship everywhere.
4 May 2008
poem by David Harris
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You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
quote by Oliver Goldsmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You've got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you can hold still for any damn body's sermon on how to behave.
quote by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monument
I got the message in my mailbox
Nobody goes to church no more
Theyre closing down your little altar
Theyve locked the sanctuary door
Dont fight it
Who can say that you didnt try
Dont fight it
Old soldiers never die
Where will I go to leave my offering
To think about how lifes so queer
And listen to the little choir
The sermon I dont care to hear
Dont fight it
Who can say that its not the end
Dont fight it
And if we dont meet again
I know somewhere a monument
Stands in the name of our love
Somewhere are monuments
Standing in the name of our love
Ive seen such strange times
Seems like lifetimes
Sometimes good and sometimes bad
And I dont see how it could
Have been much different
Everybody gave the best they had
song performed by by Utopia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lunar Touch
The space covers me now.
Words stayed too long
beyond the thoughts of I
and my landscape.
A burst of silence soaks me.
What was history,
a voyage to rough awakening?
Absence of a voice makes me suffer again.
My religion burns.
Life is a dark smoke
I will write a message on your palm.
Give me a breather,
the distances make me sad.
Black dust drifts through
the slits of our predictions.
At least I know what I am.
On a sunny day
I break a mirror.
My fingers slide like scissors,
open the envelope.
I know it has a sermon,
I don’t want to read.
The depression has a lunar touch.
I break a flower into hundred petals.
poem by Satish Verma
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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