I don't have a life, I really don't. I'm as close to a nun as you can be without the little hat. I'm a golf nun.
quote by Gabrielle Reece
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Golf Writer (To Kevin)
The golf writer has become famous for a while the toast of the town
But a few locals with him not happy they feel that he has put them down
It's that he has a humorous streak in him and with his words he does not mean offence
Some people in their feelings precious and they lack a bit in common sense,
The golf writer is a nice fellow he likes a good laugh and a beer
His humor comes out in his writing he is a creator of cheer
He never does take life too seriously devoted to family and wife
One might call him happy go lucky he does his best to enjoy life
There ought to be more people like him some do take life too seriously
So down to earth and so very witty and few are as generous as he
So many look forward to his golf column and such witty articles he write
Though always one to feel offended in humor some do feel some slight,
Around the town well known and well liked his best to please others he try
He is such a likeable fellow and he would not harm a fly.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We Fly So Close
we never realise just how close we come to disaster whether in love or everyday life...
My harbour lights are fading fast
Soon theyll disappear
Alone I sit in darkness
Hoping someone might come near
Though I wait, though I try
No one ever comes
And the feeling that I have flood over me
The river starts to run
We fly so close
We fly so close
Sometimes we fly too close
Every place you run to, everywhere you turn
There are places that you know you should not go
But some bridges just wont burn
All my life, though I try
I cannot change the past
And the ghosts that come back to haunt you
Make you realise at last
We fly so close
We fly so close
Sometimes we fly too close
We fly too close
My heart is racing much faster now
Life passes before my eyes
Somethings I see, they make me smile
Somethings they make me cry
So I look, so I try to find
A lesson I can learn
The passing of time hasnt changed my mind
And the ghosts I know return
You know we fly so close
We fly so close
Sometimes we fly too close
We fly too close
We fly so close, you and I sometimes
Sometimes we fly so close,
Well never know how many times
We fly so close
We fly so close
song performed by by Phil Collins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.
I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
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A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.
quote by Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks.
quote by Karrie Webb
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like going there for golf. America's one vast golf course these days.
quote by Edward VIII
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
quote by George Deukmejian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We know that golf is an ancient game with great history and tradition, but our golf is only 10 years old so don't judge us too harshly.
quote by Nursultan Nazarbayev
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
quote by John Updike
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.
quote by Lee Trevino
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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